Finding Serenity (The Unexpected Love Series Book 2)

by Black, T. E.

  We both have secrets, and they can both destroy it all. Hers can possibly be bigger than mine is, but I highly doubt it. I’m the king of keeping secrets.

  Gunner walking into the shop sends my mind back to reality. He looks pissy today, but hell if it isn't an everyday look for him now. He's my friend and all, but I’ve noticed his snippy mood.

  "Shay here?" he snaps at me, fumbling with the shit on his station.

  I eye him up, watching while he tries to keep himself busy and avoid looking me in the eyes.

  "Nah. She had shit to do. Ya got a problem with her?" I question him.

  He lets out a throaty laugh, shaking his head back and forth.

  "You fucking her while her little girl sleeps down the hall at night?"

  My head spins in a 360-degree motion like a fucking owl. What the fuck did he just say? Because if I heard him correctly, I might beat the shit out of him right in this fucking shop.

  I curl my hands into fists, getting ready to use the KO punch Rook taught me all those years ago while I wait for him to continue. I can't say a damn word because if I do, he's a dead man.

  "You gonna answer me, dude? Are you or are you not fucking her in her bed?"

  I snap. I completely, totally fucking snap. I reach out, my body striking like lightning. Before Gunner knows what's happening, I have his back and his throat pinned against his station with my hand.

  "What the fuck, asshole! You fucking high again?" he shouts, his face turning red from my hold.

  I attempt to control my breathing but fail miserably. I'm too fucking worked up, and right now, I'm thinking getting myself some powder is my best bet.

  "I'm gonna say this one time, Gunner. You're one of my best fucking friends, but I won't put up with ya talking about Shay or Abby like that. Got it? I’ll snap ya neck before you even know it happened."

  He doesn't answer me. He only makes a choking noise, which I control. I lean down, putting our faces close together. His eyes stare daggers at me, but I don’t give a fuck.

  "I don't give a fuck if ya think ya know what's best for her because ya fucking don't. I know what's best for both of them. So back the fuck off her. I’m not fucking kidding. She’s mine, not yours."

  I throw him, causing him to smack the back of his head off the desk, and I walk the fuck away before I do something I’ll really regret.

  GODDAMMIT, I LOVE getting high. I love the feeling. I love the bliss that takes my body over. I’ve missed this. I sit in Mac's garage using my license to cut the powder into beautiful, soft, snow colored lines. It's spring, but inside this building, it's fucking December. The beautiful white flakes sitting underneath my fingertips are gleaming with temptation, and I'm no fucking match for their seduction.

  I set my license aside, rummaging through my wallet until I find my trusty straw. Before I pussy out and waste a shitload of coke, I snort the lines one by one. I savor the numbness as it works its way through my nasal cavity, dripping down into my throat. I revel in the feeling. I let it consume me as nothing has consumed me before.

  I know it’s ballsy to be snorting this shit in Mac’s garage, but I can’t fucking help it. I close my eyes, scrubbing my hands down my face roughly and imagining what my mother would think if she knew what I was doing to myself. Her heart would break if she knew her little boy was destroying himself every day. My mother. Goddammit. I'm destroying myself so she isn't alone in her battle. It's not fair to see my beautiful, kind mother suffering in a hospital bed while I go about living my life as if nothing matters. I swear I still can feel that day in my bones. It was the hardest fucking day of my life. Three words have never broken me so much in my entire life.

  "I have cancer," she says, looking up at me through her small, delicate tears.

  If my face looks like my heart feels, I know I'm broken. I keep our eyes locked; hers still filled with tears while mine are wide as saucers.

  "You can't have it, Mom. You just can't. Stop lying. You're wrong," I plead, closing my eyes while my chest heaves for air.

  I feel my mother's hands touch my face softly while she whimpers through her cries.

  "I have cancer, Trent. I'm not lying. The doctors said they don't know how long I have left. I refused to test. I don't want to know how much longer I have. I just want to live my life the way I'm meant to," she whispers into the still morning air.

  I open my eyes to look at her, and she looks like a damn angel. The morning sunlight from our deck is illuminating her as if she's already on her way to the pearly gates.

  It's fucking horrible.

  I bring my arms up, pulling her into a hug, and that's when I notice how much weight she's lost. I've never taken notice before, but as she buries her head into my shoulder and cries, I feel it. She's thin. Her bones show through her skin, and her once lively shine is completely gone. She's sick, and I see it now.

  "I love you, Mom," I soothe softly.

  Nodding into my shoulder, she lets out another strangled cry, letting her fingers dig into my back.

  "I love you too, honey. I love you so much."

  I left my parents’ house and immediately went to get something to numb myself. I texted every fucking person in my phone who I knew had connections in the drug scene, and that's why I'm here right now. I'm alone and fucked up. How did this fucking happen so damn quick? I can't deny my using has gotten worse as my mother gets sicker. It breaks my heart to see her sitting in that rehab facility with no one around except nurses and patients. If I could trade my life for hers, I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat. I wouldn't even hesitate to sell my soul to the reaper for her. My mother deserves a long, happy life—I don't. I don't deserve anything. I'm a fucking waste of space. I'm worthless, but what's not worthless is Shay and Abby. Those two could fucking save me from me. I can feel it somewhere deep inside. Those two could make me a better man. Hell, they already have.

  I open my eyes, eyeing what's left in the baggy on the workbench, and I feel rage. I snatch the bag, ripping it to shreds, the remains of the powder coating the bench and the floor underneath me.

  "Fuck!" I scream, slamming my fist down.

  It hits a set of wrenches and I curse under my breath because I can't feel an ounce of physical pain. The coke has done its job, and it makes me want to break everything in front of me. So I do.

  I clear the bench with one swift swipe, items falling to the floor while their clanging floats around inside my head. I use both hands, trying to flip the bench, but the screws holding it to the wall stop me from achieving my goal. Instead, I stalk across the garage, flipping over chairs, tables, ripping the shelves off the wall despite what's holding them up. I'm on a fucking rampage. I'm destroying the garage, and it isn't doing a damn thing to stop the hole in my heart from getting any bigger. It's fucking pointless. It's all fucking useless. I'm having a nervous fucking breakdown right now, and the only thing that's stopping me from collapsing in defeat is Shay. She’s the one woman who can fix everything. And Abby—she’s the little girl who has the power to soften my heart of stone.

  I need them.

  “COME HERE, BABE. I wanna talk to ya," I tell Shay, grabbing her waist as she stands between my legs.

  If I don't tell her the truth now, it's only gonna get worse. They say the truth will set you free, and at this moment, I hope they're fucking right. I have to get this over with.

  "I wanna talk to you too, sir,” she teases.

  Shay leans down, her tank top showcasing her beautiful breasts. I try to concentrate on the subject at hand, but when she sucks on my neck, my mind wanders to getting her naked.

  "What's on ya mind, baby?" I ask deviously.

  Her sweet little mouth trails kisses up my neck and settles itself next to my ear while she nibbles on it.

  "You and me. Naked."

  That's all I need to hear come out of her sweet little mouth. My fingertips grip her waist, and I stand, spinning us so the back of her knees are touching the edge of her bed.

  "Is that what you�
�re thinking about, baby?" I whisper against her lips.

  She nods slowly, letting her finger trace over my bare shoulders. I take her mouth with mine. She makes me work for it, this stubborn woman. I trace the seams of her lips with my tongue, silently commanding her to open her mouth for me until she gives in.

  Our tongues dance, our hearts pound, and my dick comes to life. Her nails scraping down my back earn a groan from my throat laced with devilish intent. God. She’s so fucking sexy.

  She pulls her mouth from mine, taking the opportunity to nibble my lower lip into her mouth.

  "Hold on. I got something to do," she mumbles, scooting away from me.

  I groan at the loss of her body heat but watch her saunter over to the dresser. She plugs her iPod into the dock, the sweet beats filling the room.

  She spins around while dragging her tight black top over her head in a steady but seductive motion. “Waiting Game” by Banks continues to play, and the song couldn't be any fucking better.

  Shay stalks toward me, grabbing my hands to guide me in a sitting position on the bed. She kneels before me, licking her lips while she runs her hands over my jean-clad thighs. Her eyes are filled with fire, and her tongue won't stop running itself over her plump red lips. Those fucking lips.

  "What do ya want, Shay? Tell me," I command.

  A small purr bubbles from her throat, and my cock jumps in my jeans again. It's begging for her hands to free it. They find the clasp of her bra, unclipping it and letting it fall freely down her arms and onto the floor.

  I take the time to appreciate her breasts. They're fucking perfect. They have to be at least a C-cup, and they're complemented by ink, which runs down each side of her delicate ribs.

  I reach out to bring her to me, laying her down on the bed underneath my body. The fever of desire takes us over as we kiss, touch, and crave one another. Her heart thumps inside her chest, matching mine while we strip each other of clothing, letting skin on skin contact take us away to another universe.

  "No condom, Trent. I want to feel you inside of me. Please," she pleads.

  I oblige, entering her warmth completely bare. The feeling of being inside her with no barrier again is just as amazing as last time.

  "Kitten, ya feel so fucking good,” I breathe into her mouth, desperately trying to get closer to her in any way possible.

  She moans out a yes as our bodies fall in a joining motion. My heart swells again. My mind races with "I love you,” and my blood turns a shade of red, instead of its usual black. The bliss of us being connected in such a monumental way makes the words tumble from my mouth before I can control it.

  "I love you so fucking much, kitten."

  Although she’s said it to me, I’ve never actually said the three words to her. I’ve felt the feeling with every fiber of my being, but I’ve never voiced it.

  She squeaks out an Oh, God as our orgasms come together.

  "I love you too, Trent!" she screams out as the waves crash over us.

  She loves you too, Trent.

  Major Lazer – “Lean On”

  I KNOW TRENT is high today. I can tell. It's amazing how when you spend enough time with someone when they’re sober, you can tell when they're not. His smile and cocky attitude let me know he's feeling fan-fucking-tastic while I'm over here feeling like he just keeps chipping away at my heart.

  For the past two weeks, we’ve been inseparable. He practically lives with Abby and me—except for Tuesdays and now Thursdays. Tony was nice enough to let me change my schedule so I can have more time to get Trent to play his game. I haven't even attempted to bring Tony or the shop up to Trent. I just can’t do it. If I bring it up, Trent will question why I know what I know, and that will lead to him knowing what I'm doing two nights a week while he gets high and does God only knows what.

  Trent saunters toward the desk where I'm sitting, leaning over it to take my mouth with his. His kiss is lifeless, like him when he's high. I can tell when he's high; he only takes what he wants. He doesn't give a damn about what my body and heart need from him. How much can I possibly give him before I lose myself?

  "I'll be back later, kitten. Reschedule my twelve o'clock, all right?"

  I try to make my smile genuine, but it's not. I know he can't tell, though, so I go with it. "I will. See you later on. I love you."

  He pulls back, shooting me a sexy wink with an enormous smile on his face. "Love you too, sexy."

  He leaves the shop, and I let out a sigh of relief, sinking into my chair to gather my emotions. Gunner releases his own sigh of relief. He sits at his station with the makeshift door open wide. I glance over at him, only to see him eyeing me with caution.

  "If you have something to say, Gunner, just fucking say it already," I growl.

  He takes it as his cue, walking toward me with a hardened look on his face. This has been Gunner's facial expression ever since he caught Trent and me practically fucking in the shop. He's been pissy toward me, and to be frank—it infuriates me. He used to be a good friend, and now, he only looks at me with disgust. I know it's because he doesn't approve of Trent, but newsflash—he needs to deal.

  "Actually, Shay baby, I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut. So yeah, I have some shit I need to say without your little fucking boyfriend here. This shit needs to be between you and me."

  I stare at him over my black-rimmed glasses getting ready for the shit to hit the fan. This has been a brewing argument between us, and it’s going to be over in about five minutes when I tell him where to go.

  "You know he's a drug addict, right?" he clips at me.

  His tone is venomous, but I don't back down. I cross my arms across my chest, admitting the truth to him.

  "I know," I confirm.

  He lets out a loud, sarcastic laugh, throwing his head back in the process.

  "And you're letting him around Abby? Jesus. I knew you had it bad, but I didn't think he'd sink his hooks in you this fucking quick."

  I stand up from my seat, sending it flying into the cabinets behind me. I point my finger at him, making sure to poke his chest.

  "Fuck you, Gunner! Don't you dare talk about me like that! I'm a good fucking mom! How dare you!”

  He lets out a sigh, taking my finger pointing hand in his and staring me in the eyes. "You just don't get it, do you?"

  He gives my hand a tug, urging me to step out from behind the safety of my desk. I follow him to his station. We both stand toe to toe, neither of us wanting to give in to the other. His eyes tell me he's about to fucking erupt, and I do nothing but egg it on. I let out a scoff, and that does it.

  "Are you gonna keep putting yourself through this with him when you have someone right in front of you who loves you?" Gunner shouts, his tattooed hands rubbing over his bald head.

  I don't say anything. I have no words. He can't be referring to himself. Gunner and I have always been friends and nothing more. The idea of him being the one standing in front of me all this time terrifies me.

  "I've been a part of your life way before Trent decided he even wanted a piece of it. How is this fair to me, Shay? I've been nothing but nice to you. I keep watching him hurt you over and over again, and you keep fucking staying with him! I know you don't want to admit it out loud, but he's fucking killing you. I can see it, goddammit. You never smile when he's high. You don't make eye contact with him, and your little "I love you" is so laced with bullshit. It doesn't take a damn genius to see it. Fuck! Don't you think Abby deserves someone solid in her life? I could be that for you and her. I could be your solid. I love your daughter as if she's my own, for fuck’s sake. You didn't think me offering my place to you and her was a sign that I might've been fucking falling in love with you? I haven't touched a fucking woman since I met you, Shay. I've been waiting for you to come around, but the longer I wait, the more I see it's never gonna fucking happen. Trent has all the parts of you I want for my goddamned self!"

  His fist connects with the mirror in his station, the falling shards of gl
ass tinging off the tile floor. I've never seen Gunner so angry before, and I hate that I'm the reason. How did my life get so out of control when I never wanted it to happen? I didn't want anyone to love me except Trent. Now, I have two men—one who could be perfect and one who’s causing me complete misery.

  "You two are fucking toxic for each other. You’re both gonna kill the other before either of you know what's happening. He's a fucking drug addict, Shay, and you have a daughter. That's a great fucking combination." he seethes, before stalking away.

  Can this day get any worse?

  MY DAY JUST got worse. Well, my night got worse. It's Tuesday. Hooray. Not. Tuesday means it's time to dress in tiny little outfits, dance around a stage, and try to scheme on how I can quit this job without Tony telling Trent what I was/am.

  And to make this day even worse, Bruce finally caught up on his child support, which means now he's entitled to her three weekends a month by the courts. It's honestly a load of shit. Somehow, he got all of the money to pay, which is triple the amount of what he tried to give me the last time. I’m her mother. I've been taking care of her. He just decided to start caring today when he handed me a check.

  "Trent, I can't appeal it. It's set in stone already. He paid the balance, and now, he gets more time with her. I'm fucking pissed, but I can't do anything about it."

  “Shay, you’re not going around him alone! After what he did to you, how can ya expect me to be okay with this? He fucking hurt you, Shay! He put his hands on you, for fuck’s sake!”