America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 2: Reenlistment

by Walter Knight

  “City Hall will give all of your complaints priority attention,” I said, “but everything takes time as we marshal our resources. On the positive side, voter registration is robust. General Kalipetsis is a little dismayed most of you are registering as democrats, but no process is perfect.”

  “You are our mayor, but we did not elect you,” complained another spider. “You impose taxation with out representation.”

  “If you think taxation without representation is bad, you should see taxation with representation,” I replied.

  A spider waved his claw at me and asked, “What are you doing about the packs of javelina running wild in our streets at night? They are a menace.”

  “What?” I asked. “Who said that? Step forward.”

  “There are packs of javelina roaming the streets killing citizens,” said the young spider. “The javelina were turned loose on us by the military. Something needs to be done.” The javelina are even loose in the tunnels, thought the young spider. I could hear his thoughts with my special sunglasses.

  “The military denies deliberately releasing javelina anywhere in Disneyland,” I said. “Have you personally seen javelina?”

  “No one sees javelina until it’s too late,” said the young spider. They have killed four freedom fighters in the tunnels, he thought to himself. You human pestilence are responsible. “What are you going to do about the javelina?”

  “Arrest him,” I ordered. Legionnaires and spider police grabbed the young spider and carted him away, kicking and screaming. “Any more stupid questions? Good. Meeting adjourned.” I pounded the table with my gavel.

  “I do not think that went well,” commented Lieutenant Lopez. “I am feeling no love here.”

  “That spider was an insurgent,” I said. “I could read his thoughts.”

  “Whatever,” said Lopez. “You need more tact. Haven’t you ever heard of group dynamics? You need to explain your actions to the Council and to the audience.”

  “Fine,” I said, pounding the gavel again. “That turd we arrested was a known insurgent. I’m surprised he showed up here at City Hall. He will be interrogated by Legion and local police. At the next City Council meeting, a report will be given about the matter and his execution.”

  “He may or may not be an insurgent,” said a City Council member. “We have all seen the javelina warning signs you had posted. What concerns me is your apparent lack of sympathy for our problems.”

  “Sympathy?” I asked. “You want sympathy? You will find ‘sympathy’ in the dictionary somewhere between ‘shit’ and ‘syphilis.’ There will be no sympathy from me until I get Private Tonelli back, and you spiders stop exploding bombs all over town.”

  Spiders immediately began accessing the data base on their notepads. ‘Shit’ they understood. ‘Syphilis’ was a new word. The definition, ‘a chronic infectious venereal disease caused by a spirochete,’ did not sit well with them.

  “What is syphilis?” asked the City Council member.

  “It’s what you all are going to get if you keep messing with me,” I warned. “This meeting is over!”

  “Smooth,” said Lieutenant Lopez. “I’m glad you took my advice about using tact.”

  “How would you like to be Mayor of Disneyland?” I asked.

  “How would I like to be Mickey Mouse?” asked Lopez. “I don’t think so.”

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  CHAPTER 4

  Interrogation of the young terrorist produced the location of ten safe houses. All were surrounded before being bombed by precision guided kinetic rounds – 3,000 pounds of concrete – dropped from space by the T. Roosevelt weapons platform. There were no survivors. Legionnaires digging through the debris found tunnels. Because the tunnels were booby-trapped, the decision was made to pump nerve agent and mustard gas into them instead of entering. The tunnels were then sealed.

  * * * * *

  “Do you not like money?” asked Guido Tonelli.

  “Of course I do,” said the dragon leader. “Do not try to bribe me.”

  “I am trying to save your life. These tunnels are a death trap. Help me escape. Together we can salvage the Shenandoah and go into business together.”

  “Betray the cause?” asked the dragon leader. “I am not a traitor.”

  “Neither am I,” said Guido. “But the Lion of the Forest is a fool. It’s only a matter of time before he gets you killed. Life is too short not to get a big payday for all the risk you take.”

  “What is your incentive not to kill me after I set you free?” asked the dragon leader.

  “I need you,” explained Guido. “I know where the starship is located, but I need your help and the help of your mates to get to it. And, I need a crew.”

  “Why do you trust me?” asked the dragon leader. “I might kill you after I get the starship.”

  “You have heard me talk to the Lion of the Forest about the La Costra Nostra,” said Guido. “The Mafia exists on both our worlds. Your life would not be worth two cents if you crossed me. You would be hunted down no matter where you flee. Stay with me, however, and you will be a well respected Don. You will have power and money. You will be a well-connected prince of the galaxy.”

  The dragon leader gave the matter some thought. Explosions from above rocked the tunnel. The safe houses were being attacked. He listened to radio reports of more javelina victims, and now reports of chemical warfare being used by the Legion to root them out. The Lion of the Forest truly is a fanatic, thought the dragon leader. When he rants about the human pestilence, he can’t change his mind, and he won’t change the subject. The Lion of the Forest started a war when there was prosperity, defying both the Legion and his own Emperor. That makes the Lion of the Forest the true traitor, and a fool.

  “I know where there is a car we can use to leave the city,” said the dragon leader. “If you drive, we could get past the roadblocks.”

  “That is a good plan,” said Guido. “And you can get more spiders and a tunneling machine?”

  “Just say when and where,” said the dragon leader. He drew a large combat knife and cut Guido’s webbed restraints.

  “The Shenandoah is buried under the DMZ,” said Guido. “May I have a gun?”

  “Find your own. There is some unfinished business I need to take care of first,” said the dragon leader as he led Guido and a guard a few hundred yards down a tunnel. At an intersection stood a large air force nuke leaning against the wall. The dragon leader wiped off the dust, then set the timer. “Now we can leave for the DMZ.”

  “What is this all about?” asked Guido, motioning at the big green nuke.

  “We are directly below City Hall,” said the dragon leader. “The timer is set for next Tuesday at 7:00 p.m. The nuke will take out the next City Council meeting. Hopefully it will also kill Captain Czerinski. Do you have a problem with that?”

  “No,” said Guido. “Do your thing.”

  “Good. I am glad you are not getting sentimental,” said the dragon leader. “We are La Costra Nostra together now. This is just the business of payback.”

  “It seems like the waste of a perfectly good nuke,” said Guido. “But it is your nuke. As long as we are not still hooked up with that kook, Lion of the Forest, I am a happy camper.”

  “I don’t like to leave my enemies alive,” said the dragon leader.

  “You learn fast,” said Guido.

  “The Lion of the Forest was at one of the safe houses when the Legion attacked,” said the dragon leader. “I doubt we need worry about him.”

  After double-checking the setting on the timer, the dragon leader picked up an old tarp to help conceal the nuke. Guido’s monitor dragon, hiding under the tarp, pounced and killed the dragon leader instantly with a bite to the throat. The other spider tried to unsling his assault rifle and bring it to bear, but Guido kicked the rifle aside. The dragon then took the life of the second spider, ripping his head off. The dragon turned his attention to
Guido, backing him into a corner. Guido held out his hand for the dragon to smell.

  “It’s me, lizard,” said Guido. “Remember your friend Guido. Your master. The nice Italian boy who took you to the vet when you were left for dead in the trash.” Oh God, don’t let him eat me.

  The dragon sniffed Guido’s hand, then nuzzled it. Then the dragon went back over to the spiders and had lunch. Guido glanced at the nuke. It was still ticking. I always wanted one of these, he thought to himself. The blue wire or the red wire? Guido flicked the switch that said STOP. The nuke quit its countdown. He then gathered up the spiders’ assault rifles and ammunition.

  “Come on, Spot,” said Guido. “We still have a starship to heist.”

  More spider soldiers appeared down the tunnel. Guido ducked behind the intersection corner and fired his assault rifle. Spiders returned force. Guido fired off a couple grenades. After the smoke cleared, a spider called out to him, “Surrender or you will die. We have you out-numbered, and we have a machine gun.”

  “I have a nuke,” Guido yelled back, “so you surrender.”

  “The Legion is gassing the tunnel with nerve agent,” said the spider. “Surrender, or we all will die.”

  “I laugh at death,” replied Guido. “Go a different way.”

  “There is only one way south,” said the spider. “Just let us pass, and you will not be harmed.”

  “Nuts!” said Guido. “Non mi arrendero!”

  “Are you insane?” asked the spider. “Do you want to die?”

  “Si, sono inano,” said Guido. The dragon let out a scream. “I joined the Legion because I am insane and I seek death. You surrender or I will let my pet Spot eat you alive. You will plead for the gas to kill you.”

  Death is a fearful thing. Twenty seven spider freedom fighters threw down their assault rifles and surrendered. Guido escorted them up a ladder into the middle of City Hall. An officious spider clerk yelled at Guido, “There is no court today!” She pointed to the exit. “Get those prisoners out of here, or I will be talking to your commanding officer.”

  Out on the street, Guido came upon two legionnaires manning a machine gun positioned behind a circle of sand bags.

  “You are not leaving those prisoners here,” said Private Williams. “You better take them down the street and talk to Sergeant Green.”

  “Have you searched all those prisoners?” asked Private Washington. “They look like they are still carrying their equipment.”

  “They let spiders in the Legion?” asked Guido, looking at Washington.

  “If they will let Italians in the Legion, they will let anyone in,” replied Private Williams.

  “I am from New York,” said Guido, giving Williams a raised forearm gesture.

  “Where did you get the dragon?” asked Private Washington.

  “They let him in the Legion too,” said Guido as he led his prisoners down the street.

  At the next intersection, Sergeant Green and a squad of legionnaires were pumping gas down a sewer hole. Sergeant Green confronted Guido. “Where the hell are you going with all these prisoners?”

  “Sono perso,” answered Guido. “I don’t know.”

  “Idiot,” said Sergeant Green. “What unit are you in?”

  “I don’t know that, either,” said Guido. “I got separated from everyone on my first day here. All I know is Captain Czerinski is my commanding officer.”

  “Great. You are one of my new recruits,” said Sergeant Green. “Who ordered you to move these prisoners all by yourself? We are in a combat situation here. Spiders are popping out of their holes everywhere. You can’t be escorting this many prisoners all by yourself!”

  “I brought them up through City Hall,” said Guido. “A spider clerk there said they could not stay at City Hall. Two legionnaires down the street sent me to you.”

  “Where were you ordered to take them?” asked Sergeant Green. Dumb Euro-trash. Where do we get these guys? he wondered. “Answer me!”

  “These prisoners surrendered to me down in the tunnels,” said Guido. “Le do questi prigionieri.”

  “What do you mean, they surrendered to you? You and who else?” asked Sergeant Green. Green ripped off his gas mask and took a closer look at the sloppy private. He was unshaven, dirty, and stunk. The legionnaire had spider assault rifles slung over his shoulder and spider-made grenades hanging from his belt. He looked more like Rambo than Private Washington. But his name tag said ‘Tonelli.’ Sergeant Green noticed the dragon and took a step back.

  “It’s just me that captured them,” cried Guido. “I had to kill a few first. You cannot imagine how glad I am to be back. It has been hell.” Guido rushed forward and gave Sergeant Green a hug.

  “That’s enough, Private Tonelli,” said Sergeant Green. “Don’t be hugging me. Compose yourself.”

  “I could kiss you, I am so happy,” said Guido as he released Sergeant Green.

  “Don’t you dare,” said Sergeant Green. “This isn’t the French Foreign Legion. This is the American Foreign Legion. We don’t do kissing on the cheek.”

  “Yes, Sergeant,” said Guido.

  “Corporal Ceausescu!” called out Sergeant Green. “Organize a detail to escort these prisoners to confinement. Also, radio Captain Czerinski and tell him we found Private Tonelli alive.”

  “What about the giant lizard?” asked Corporal Ceausescu.

  “Spot is with me,” said Guido.

  * * * * *

  It was luck that the Lion of the Forest escaped death in the safe house. He had gone into the tunnels to find food for a sandwich. Shortly after he left, a Legion bomb from space killed everyone in the safe house. It was fate. Even better, it was destiny.

  “I cannot be killed!” the Lion of the Forest yelled to Heaven up above. “God protects me and our cause.”

  The spider freedom fighters rallied around him and cheered. He led them north through the tunnels, away from the DMZ. The starship could wait. Others had fled south and died from the gas. Cowards. They deserved to die for running away from the upcoming battle. Today the Lion of the Forest would lead an attack on the prison and free all the political prisoners held there. It did not matter that the legionnaire Tonelli had escaped or been killed. Today would see a glorious victory for freedom.

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  CHAPTER 5

  The spider regular army soldiers of Fort #6 had surrendered early in the war. It galled them that their onetime home was now their prison. But, they had been promised by E-mail that the first troops to surrender would also be the first repatriated. Somehow that promise had been forgotten. The warden, Captain Norris, promised he was looking into it. The war was over, and a treaty was in place. It was time to go home. But Captain Norris had not talked to them in a month, and the guards did not seem to know or care about when they would be released. They vowed the human pestilence would be forced to care.

  Worse, the soldiers were now sharing crowded cells with common criminals and recently arrested members of the insurgency. Criminals could be handled on an individual basis. The guards did not care if a prisoner’s throat was cut. But members of the insurgency were organized, and they were fanatics. And, they insisted everyone join their cause under penalty of death. Some spider guards smuggled in grenades and hand guns to the insurgents. Emboldened, insurgents killed two human guards with a grenade. The attack ended with several prisoners being shot when the guards stormed into the cell block. But the prison was not searched, and the insurgents remained armed.

  The spider soldiers knew that the armory was in a central location close to their housing area. When the time was right, they plotted to break into the armory and seize the weapons so they could defend themselves and negotiate their repatriation. The armory had assault rifles, machine guns, mortars, RPGs, and unlimited ammunition. The armory was a strong point that could be defended. The Legion would have to listen to their grievances when they rioted. A riot was the language of the unheard.
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  * * * * *

  Captain William Norris found it ironic that he was appointed warden of a spider prison, because he had once been a prisoner of war himself. Captain Norris had been shot down over New Colorado on the first day of the Legion counter attack during the first spider war. General Kalipetsis thought Captain Norris would have special insight into how to run a wartime detention center. The general was wrong. Captain Norris found prison administration stressful and depressing. The prison had been a spider military base. Many of the dungeon-like cells were underground. Captain Norris spent most of his time in his office, avoiding contact with prisoners and letting his spider and legionnaire guards run the prison as they saw fit. The guards had no experience running a prison, so they ran it poorly. The Captain would get lost in his own prison if Sergeant Mendoza was not with him as an escort.

  Captain Norris could hear explosions and fighting coming from Disneyland. That is where Captain Norris longed to be. Combat was the road to promotion, not babysitting spiders at this prison. He had been briefed on the next batch of prisoners arriving now, and on the rescue of Private Tonelli. The press would be here soon. For now, Captain Norris was required to leave the comfort of his office and assist with screening and interrogation of the new prisoners.

  Capatin Norris and Sergeant Mendoza greeted the twenty-seven new prisoners in the day room next to the cell blocks. Spider prisoners were already calling out to the new arrivals and jeering the legionnaires. That was another thing Captain Norris hated. It seemed like the noise of prison was constant.