Scattered Colors

by Jessica Prince

  “Holy shit,” Piper said from over my shoulder. “He kept your birthday present this whole time?”

  All I could do was nod.

  “That…wow.”

  I reached over, took the painting from Piper and sat it in my lap, studying all the boldly painted colors that depicted the one thing Parker and I both held with such high importance. “I can’t believe he kept this,” I said in amazement. “Who does this?” I asked, turning my head to stare at Piper with wide eyes. “Who keeps a present for someone they broke up with two years ago?”

  My friend’s eyes shined with sympathy as she took my hand in hers. “Someone who’s obviously still in love with the person,” she spoke solemnly.

  “No.” I shook my head. “No, he broke up with me, Pipe. He did it. He didn’t even waste a second before he jumped right back into his ex’s bed!” I jumped to my feet and began to pace. “You don’t do that to someone you love. You don’t!”

  Piper stood up and cut me off, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I know, honey, I know. But didn’t you tell me he keeps claiming he has an explanation? That there was a reason why he did what he did?”

  “It won’t be good enough! What excuse could he possibly give me that would make anything he did okay?”

  “I don’t know,” Piper answered with a shake of her head. “But neither will you if you aren’t willing to hear him out. For Christ’s sake, the man kept a present he bought for you when you two were eighteen. He moved all the way across the country for you. Without knowing for certain you’d ever speak to him again!”

  “So you’re taking his side?” I regretted the words the moment they passed my lips.

  Piper’s eyes narrowed as she propped her hands on her hips. “No, and you know me better than to even think that. I’m always on your side. Don’t question my loyalty just because you’re upset.”

  My head dropped back on a long groan before I finally looked back at my friend, the same friend who was my lifeline from the moment I moved there. “You’re right.” I sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

  Piper leaned in and wrapped her tiny arms around me in a hug. “I know you didn’t, butthole. I understand that this is hard for you, but please don’t think I have anything less than your best interests in mind.”

  I returned her hug, resting my cheek on her shoulder. “I know, sweetie. I’m just a mess. Everything was going perfectly. My life was great until he showed up.”

  Pulling back, Piper studied me thoughtfully. “Was it really?”

  “What are you talking about? Of course it was. I have great friends. I’m doing well in school. My relationship with my father is better than anything I could ask for—”

  “And you haven’t had a single boyfriend in all the time you’ve been here,” she stated, cutting me off.

  I opened my mouth to argue, but quickly closed it when I realized she was right. “I’ve…dated,” I replied lamely.

  “You’ve gone on less than a handful of lunch dates or coffee dates in the past two years. Lunch and coffee barely constitute as dates. Hell, you never even let the guys pay!”

  “And your point is?” I grumbled sullenly.

  “My point, dear, sweet roomie, is that maybe Parker being here isn’t necessarily a bad thing.” Her hand came up and covered my mouth when I went to argue. “What I mean is maybe at the very least, you could get some closure out of this whole mess. Then you’ll finally be able to truly move on. There’s really only one way to find out. Either way, you won’t be any worse off than you were when you first got here. I’m not telling you it’s something you should definitely do, but don’t you think it’s at least worth considering?”

  I spent several seconds considering everything she’d said before finally nodding in agreement. As usual, she was right. “I’ll consider it, okay?”

  “Good!” She clapped. “Now let’s watch countless hours of The Mindy Project while gorging on Ben and Jerry’s and cheap wine. Sound good to you?”

  “Sounds perfect.” I grinned as I followed her into the kitchen, getting two pints out of the freezer while she popped the cork on a five-dollar bottle of wine. Cheap booze and mindless TV with an amazing friend were exactly what I needed.

  I was startled from my reading by the sound of someone beating on my front door. Already knowing who stood on the other side, I threw my textbook down and jumped from the couch. The moment I pulled the front door open, loud squeals and screeches echoed down the breezeway as Stella and I lunged at each other, jumping up and down like deranged monkeys hopped up on caffeine.

  “I missed you so much!”

  “I missed you, too, BFF!”

  After one last squeeze, she pulled back and focused on my face. “You okay?”

  “Oh, good Lord.” I sighed, knowing by the concern etched on her face that Piper had already told her about Parker. “I’m fine. I promise.”

  “Okay,” she dragged out as she cocked her head to assess whether or not I was lying. “If you say so.”

  “I say so,” I insisted, grabbing the handle of her bag and pulling it through the door. “Now, Michael better have packed chocolate in this bag if he knows what’s good for him.”

  “He did.” Stella laughed as she dropped down on my couch with a huff. “And your birthday present’s in there, too.”

  “Ooh! Gimme, gimme.” I made grabby hands at her as she unzipped the bag and pulled out a heart-shaped box of chocolates and another tiny box with a bow stuck on the top. I snatched the box out of her hand and ripped the lid off. “Don’t get too excited,” she giggled. “I’m a broke college student. You’re lucky you got anything at all.”

  I let out a squeal of excitement at the sight of the Amazon gift card sitting on top of the tissue paper in the box. My friend knew me so well. I was a 1-click junkie and the hundred dollar gift card was going to keep me in my e-book habit for weeks to come. “Yay! I love it!”

  Falling down next to her, I rested my feet in her lap and laid my head on the arm of the couch. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  She patted my foot and gave me a smile. “Me, too, honey. Now, are we going to talk about the six-foot, two hundred pound elephant in the room?”

  “Really? I was thinking more around 6’1, one-eighty-five.”

  She gave my foot a rough pinch as she let out a laugh. “Whatever, smartass. You know what I mean.”

  “I know,” I grumbled. “I just don’t necessarily want to talk about it right now. I feel like I’m being talked to death. Parker wants to talk. Piper wants to talk about what I think Parker wants to talk about. My dad wants to talk to make sure I’m okay. Right now, I wouldn’t necessarily hate being struck deaf and mute.”

  “And be denied the pleasure of my amazing singing voice?” she joked. Both of us knew Stella couldn’t hold a tune if her life depended on it.

  Unable to take Stella’s sympathetic gaze, I stared down at my fingers, twisting and untwisting just to have something to do with them. “He said he has an explanation,” I offered quietly.”

  “For…what, exactly? For the breakup? For standing by and letting you be bullied? For telling Cassidy everything you told him in confidence?”

  I stood from the couch and moved on fidgety legs around the living room. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know what the hell he wants to say because I won’t let him say it. I just keep thinking that if I let myself listen, he’s going to tell me something that will rip me open all over again.”

  “You aren’t the same girl you were back then, Freya. You’re so much stronger now. No matter what he has to say, you’re not going to fall apart like you did back then.”

  “How can you be so sure of that?” I asked sullenly.

  “Because I know you. What did Piper and your dad have to say about his sudden reappearance?”

  I let out a breath. I was never going to live down my next admission. “That I was tougher than I gave myself credit for,” I muttered.

  A cheeky grin
spread across her face. “So, basically the exact same thing I said?”

  “Basically,” I repeated with a roll of my eyes.

  “Because I’m the smartest person you know and everyone always agrees with me.”

  Desperately needing a change of subject, I brought up the one thing I knew would divert her attention. “Can we stop talking about Parker and concentrate on the party tonight?” Around the time we moved into our apartment, Piper and I got the brilliant idea to throw ‘welcome’ parties every time Stella came to visit. Luckily, we were close to most of our neighbors so what started out as a small, casual thing in the beginning had grown into a beast, largely due to the fact that Piper was a master party planner. Each of our neighbors opened their doors once the party started so people could go in and out, either mingling in the breezeway or in someone’s home. Both ours and Caleb’s levels got involved in the festivities. They were some of the best parties all year. And thanks to the fact that Caleb was of legal drinking age, we were always able to get booze.

  “The party!” Stella cheered. “I can’t believe I almost forgot about that! I wish Michael had been able to make it this time. He’d have loved it.”

  “Just make sure to drag his butt down here next time. We’ll make sure it’s epic.”

  Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, mascara wand in hand, I took slow, measured strokes, making sure to give my lashes a long, full look without making them clumpy. I felt the ridiculous need to look perfect, knowing Parker was more than likely going to be attending the party seeing as he lived with Caleb. My eyes were smoky, my lips a deep shade of burgundy, my hair in perfectly styled, glossy curls that rested at the tops of my shoulders. I wore my makeup and hair like war paint, knowing I needed it against Parker—even though I’d spent two hours earlier that day trying to convince myself that none of it was for him.

  Who was I kidding?

  I’d squeezed myself into a pair of skin-tight leggings designed to look like leather. My off-the-shoulder top was decorated with thick black and white stripes, each stripe covered with sequins of the same color. Needless to say, I’d gone all out. And as I leaned over to fluff my hair, giving it some much needed volume, the butterflies in my belly began to riot at the thought of seeing him. The fact that Parker was still my biggest weakness was positively infuriating. If I hadn’t been afraid of twisting an ankle in my four-inch high-heeled booties, I’d have tried to kick my own ass for being so stupid.

  “Freya!” Piper yelled from down the hall. “We’re out of chips!”

  “In the pantry,” I called back to her.

  “I looked there already. I couldn’t find…oh, sweet Lord in Heaven, babe, you look hot!”

  “Let me see! Let me see!” My cheeks burned red as Stella came pushing up to stand next to Piper in the bathroom doorway. All of a sudden, the room felt three times too small and stifling.

  Stella blew out a long whistle as she looked me up and down. “Damn, sweetie, she’s not kidding. You look great.”

  “You’re both looking pretty good yourselves,” I deflected, even though I meant it. They looked fantastic. They each wore matching knowing expressions; they knew why I put so much effort into my appearance, but thankfully, they were such amazing friends they’d let it slide. I screwed my mascara closed and tossed it on the counter before stepping out of the room and heading to the kitchen. I opened the pantry door and, sure enough, there were three extra bags of chips sitting right there on the shelf. Turning around with one of the bags in my hands, I curled my lip and shot Piper a look.

  “What?” She shrugged innocently. “I’m short. You’re tall. I couldn’t see them.”

  “Mmhmm,” I mumbled as I went about pouring chips into bowls and setting out dips. Our apartment was on chip and finger food duty. The apartment two doors down had two guys rooming together who’d be grilling up hotdogs on the little hibachi they kept on their patio. Each apartment did their part in providing food and drinks. The night was set to be epic and I couldn’t wait for it to start.

  “You about ready, man? It’s starting any minute,” Caleb called from the living room. I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but I was anxious as hell at the thought of seeing Freya. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since that evening on the balcony. I had no clue what she thought of the present I’d left on her doorstep or if she’d even gotten it. With every passing day, I started questioning my decision to give it to her. What if she hated it? What if she didn’t want the reminder of what we used to share? Christ, I was second-guessing every damn thing and couldn’t make myself stop.

  As I walked down the hall, I spotted Caleb in the kitchen, hunched over an ice chest as he loaded it full of ice and beer.

  “Want one?” he asked, holding up one of the chilled bottles of Bud.

  “Yeah, thanks.” I took it from his hand and twisted the top off, flicking the cap in the trashcan next to me. I sucked down half in just a few gulps, needing the alcohol to take effect and calm my frayed nerves.

  “You cool?” I lowered the bottle to see Caleb looking at me, one brow cocked. “You look a little on edge.”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” I lied. He’d already offered his help in getting me back into Freya’s good graces, but I was a little unsure of just where the line was drawn between him helping and being put in the middle. I liked the guy. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable around either of us.

  “So this party’s kind of a big deal, huh?”

  Caleb chuckled good-naturedly. “Give a bunch of college co-eds a reason to drink free booze and eat free food and it’s bound to be a hit. But I have to hand it to the girls, dude. How they set these things up is pure genius.”

  “I’d say.” I laughed. “They got two whole levels involved. That takes serious talent.”

  “Those two are like the party whisperers or something. Half the frat parties can’t even compare to Stella’s little ‘welcome’ parties.”

  I was amazed by what I was hearing. The Freya I knew hated attention. She had been quiet and to herself, only allowing a very select few of us into her inner circle. I never would have thought she’d be a part of throwing an epic party so many people were a part of. It went to show just how much she’d changed in the two years she’d been gone. I might have hated the fact that she’d left me, but I couldn’t deny that her move to Florida had really helped her grow. The sorrow I was so used to seeing in her eyes was gone. She seemed genuinely happy. My heart warmed at that thought, but there was still an underlying sadness lingering in my chest because the realization that I had nothing to do with that happiness burned like fire in my blood.

  “You knew Stella back in high school, didn’t you?” Caleb asked, pulling my head back into the present.

  “Uh, yeah,” I answered, rubbing at the tension sitting at the back of my neck. “We’d been friends but I’m pretty sure she hates me now.”

  “Jesus, Park,” Caleb laugh awkwardly. “I don’t mean to sound like I dick, but I definitely don’t envy you, my friend. Between Freya, Piper, and Stella, you got your work cut out for you. That’s for damn sure.”

  “Tell me about it,” I muttered before downing the rest of my beer.

  There was no humor on his face as he regarded me seriously. “Still think she’s worth it?”

  “Never been more certain of anything in my life. Besides…” I felt a grin pull at the corner of my mouth. “I’ve always liked a challenge.”

  “Well, best of luck, roomie. This is the mother of all challenges.”

  Didn’t I know it.

  The party was in full swing. People were milling about having fun as they wandered from apartment to apartment or hung out in the breezeway. The Airborne Toxic Event was playing from the speakers of Piper’s iPod dock she’d set up just outside our doorway. As I walked around mingling with classmates and neighbors, I felt Parker’s eyes on me. I spotted him earlier as he and Caleb made their way up to our level, but I made sure to keep my distance and he hadn’t approached. That didn’t m
ean my eyes weren’t inadvertently scanning in his direction every so often.

  He looked amazing as ever, dressed in faded jeans that hugged his body to perfection and the light blue, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscled forearms. How was it possible for forearms to be so sexy? I had to tamp down my body’s natural reaction to him. My cheeks flushed and my breathing picked up every time our eyes met. I was always the first to look away, nervous about the way my heart sped up each time those dark eyes focused on me.

  I stood, leaning over a cooler looking for something non-alcoholic as Piper came bouncing over. “He’s staring again,” she chirped in a singsong voice, garnering an eye roll from me.

  “Who’s staring?” Stella asked, coming up to join us.

  Piper snatched the Coke from my hand and replaced it with a beer as she answered. “Who do you think?”

  I took the Coke back and set the unopened beer down. I needed to keep my wits about me if I was going to be around Parker. That meant staying stone-cold sober. Against my better judgment, I turned to where he stood, talking to a few of the guys who lived on our level. The moment my eyes landed on him, he turned his attention to me. It was as if he could feel every time I looked at him.

  “He’s been staring all damn night,” Stella said. “Honestly, I’m surprised he hasn’t come up to talk to you.”

  “I think he’s keeping his distance because he’s scared of you,” Piper joked, tugging on one of Stella’s curls.

  “He should be. I got ninja moves.”

  “You two are ridiculous.” I laughed as I stepped back. “I need to go check on snacks. I’ll be back in a bit.”

  Our apartment was surprisingly empty of party-goers as I stepped through the door. As I entered the kitchen, I understood why. The bowls of chips were empty and the dip had been scraped clean from the containers. As I went about replenishing the snacks, I felt a familiar tingling on the back of my neck. Even years after our breakup, my body knew the moment Parker entered a room before I ever even saw him.