Seize the Booty! (Erotica Arcanus)

by E. E. Wellington

  I fumbled with the buttons on my shirt, giving them time to turn around. When they did not and instead continued looking at me, I stopped. "Is there no privacy aboard this vessel?" I said.

  Miss Bonny laughed, "Not bloody likely. We have to inspect you for bugs and the like. The captain made us shave the last new shipmate down to the skin all over his whole body because he had lice. I promise, you ain't got nothin' we ain't seen before."

  "You got bugs, Fawkes?" Read grumbled.

  "No," I said defensively. I pulled off my shirt and threw it on the ground. "There, feel free to check."

  Miss Bonny tugged on the waistband of my trousers and said, "These too. Got to make sure none of them little nasties are hiding in your nether parts." She and Mr. Read exchanged glances, and I suddenly became aware that it was not Mr. Read being victimized by the rest of the crew I had to worry about. It was him doing it to me.

  I undid my trousers and pulled them down past my ankles, stepping out of them to stand naked in front of both of them. Miss Bonny's eye fell directly below my waist and said, "Oh my," Miss Bonny said. "He's hung properly for such a young man. You see this tackle?"

  Mr. Read glanced down and shrugged, "Seems all right to me."

  Miss Bonny leaned down, so that her long black hair swept against my waist. She reached out and touched it with the tip of her finger, running it along the head and down across its center. She wrapped her hand all the way around me and squeezed and pumped it up and down several times like a water handle. "Nice and thick too," she said. She looked over at Read and said, "Come have a feel."

  I pulled back and said, "No, please don't."

  "Why not?" Bonny said.

  "Because," I said nervously. "Listen, just because I grew up on a ship doesn't mean I'm a cabin boy or anything of the sort. I only like women."

  Both of them laughed uproariously at that and Miss Bonny draped her arm around Read, "Oh, the things this boy will learn upon his time at sea."

  "That's if we don't throw him overboard if he gets to be annoying," Read said.

  "Aye," Bonny nodded. "Did you at least get it kissed before you set sail on that last ship?"

  "Kiss what?" I said.

  Bonny pointed down at my dangling cock and said, "That monster, of course."

  I felt my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. I shook my head and said, "No."

  "`Tis bad luck," Bonny said solemnly. "What do you think, Mr. Read? Is it too late for him to get it kissed for good fortune?"

  "I'm not sure," Read said.

  I swallowed dryly and tried to cover myself with my hands, making the two of them laugh. Bonny jerked her thumb at a series of trunks lined up against the wall and said, "Search in those for some clothing that fits you. Toss those other rags into the sea."

  "Yes, m 'lady," I said. I hurried over to the trunks to clothe myself as quickly as I could, only looking back to see Read and Miss Bonny heading back up the stairs together. As they walked, I saw Miss Bonny's hand reach over and give Mr. Read a discreet squeeze on the backside.

  I quickly found a shirt and trousers that would fit and slid them on, keeping an eye on the staircase to make sure no one else was coming. I listened to the masts turn and to the way the wind caught her sails, and knew that Calico Jack was a master sailor who could coax every last ounce of speed from the Ace of Spades. The ship itself was a sloop, with only a handful of guns, but wickedly fast upon the high seas.

  Sloops were less common in the Caribbean than galleys, for most pirate captains had no qualms about making their men row, even during battle. Calico Jack was known for having each of his men (and apparently women) fight in a conflict.

  My father had always preferred sloops. He'd told me from the time I was little about how faster-moving, lightly armed ships could circle around the sluggish frigates and galleys of any Royal Navy and pick them apart. I fantasized about him standing on the pier as we pulled into the dock, looking up at me with admiration. The fantasy shattered into a thousand pieces when Fat Matt, the ship's first mate stuck his head into the doorway and said, "Come on, then, ye lazy little wretch. Time to swab the deck and earn yer keep!"

  Chapter 2. Longing for Mermaids

  By the third day at sea I'd tied and untied enough knots around the ship and correctly predicted the wind's direction with sufficient reliability to earn the privilege of going about my duties without Fat Matt looming over me. "I still don't like having children aboard," he grumbled at every opportunity.

  "I'm no child," I said.

  "Yer no man, neither. Ever gutted a man an' roasted his eyeballs on a spit?"

  "No."

  "Ever made a necklace outta your enemies severed ears?"

  "No."

  "Ever stood in a line with all your other shipmates taken turns puttin' yer tallywhacker into a barrel, not havin' any idea who or what was inside?"

  I looked at him with disgust, "Have you done that?"

  He smiled victoriously at getting me to react and said, "You're lucky Calico Jack don't allow that on his ship, or ye'd be assigned to barrel duty first."

  "And that's your standard for someone being a man? I'd reckon hardly anyone in England qualifies, then."

  "That's the problem with her, then. That's the reason she'll never survive as a nation."

  I rolled my eyes and walked away from him. Every sea dog had an addled opinion about everything imaginable, built upon countless days spent under the hot sun with nothing to do to pass the time but engage his other crewmembers in fierce debate.

  The winds were strong that day and I leaned against the starboard rail and looked out at the vast water. I closed my eyes and inhaled the salty sea air. "So much better when you are above the deck, rather than below it," I said aloud.

  "Aye," a man said next to me, his sudden appearance making me flinch. It was the captain, his large, dark eyes looking out at the sea with the same wonder as my own. Calico Jack lifted his well-worn leather hat to swipe back his long locks of black hair, the sparkle of sunlight on the sea water enough to make him smile. "Once, when I was just a lad like yourself, I was doing the exact same thing. Taking in the sight of it all, trying to have a private moment in the midst of all the men crowded together on a small ship. That was when I saw me first mermaid."

  I laughed and said, "Of course you did."

  He shrugged, "Saw the tail come up out of the water and splash. Thought it was just a dolphin at first, you know. It were silver and blue, with scales just like a fish, but then I saw the rest of her come up from the water. Her bare chest an' woman's bubbies, with long red hair an' a perfect face. I thought I was going mad, so I didn't move nor speak nor call for anyone else. An' then, just like that, she was gone forever."

  I looked at him carefully. He certainly didn't appear to be making a joke. "That's an incredible story, captain."

  He smiled weakly and said, "It's a right curse. I was just your age, an' saw the most perfect, beautiful thing I'll ever see in me whole life. Nothing else has ever compared. Nothing else could. Makes for a somewhat hollow existence, lad. But I'll never stop looking."

  I watched him walk up the ship's stairs toward the captain's perch and turned to look back at the sea, my imagination filled with what might be lurking just below the surface.

  That night I lied down in my bed, perfectly content. My muscles ached from the days of strenuous labor, but it was a good ache. The kind that felt delightful when you stretch and groan and know that you earned every ounce of new muscle. The rest of the crew snored and muttered all around me, their heavy breaths as loud as a symphony in the confined quarters, accompanied by the occasional trumpet blast of a loud fart.

  Still, it was better to be in the crew's quarters than hidden behind the bowspirit, and it was certainly more fulfilling to be a contributing member of the crew and earn my keep rather than lurk below decks like a ghost. I lay there, listening to the masts creak in the soft wind and the waves gently crash against the hull, unable to sleep.

  I threw
back my blanket and slid out of the bedroll quietly, so as not to wake Mr. Read, but as I stood up I realized his bed was vacant. No matter, I figured. He'd either found somewhere else to sleep, or attended to nighttime duties, or even fallen off the ship and drowned in the ocean for all I cared. Not that I had any particular reason to dislike Read. Except for the fact that I'd seen the beautiful Ms. Bonny grab his backside and she seemed quite taken with him. That, and his face was twisted in a perpetual scowl, despite having such an exquisite woman's attention turned on him. Mr. Read seemed to be a decidedly unfriendly person. Perhaps that was reason to dislike him enough.

  I walked up the stairs, inhaling deeply as I emerged onto the deck. The sea's night air was cold and sweet, and a canopy of stars hovered just overhead, some so large and bright that I stared upwards and swore I could make out the details of their surfaces. I wandered around the deck, checking the riggings and knots, as was my usual custom, and eventually made my way up to the captain's perch. I wrapped my hands around the wheel and thought, Someday I will command my own ship and be the master of my own crew. As I held the wheel steady, I realized, much to my horror, that someone was standing directly behind me.

  I turned around slowly to see none other than Mr. Read crouched in the shadows, peeking through a window into the captain's quarters. He was spying so intently that he hadn't noticed me as I crept up behind him, walking on the tips of my toes to keep the ship's boards from creaking. I looked over Read's shoulder to peer through the window into the captain's cabin, to see what he was looking at, and I could see the blurry image of two people. Then, I heard the muffled sounds of the captain as he spoke.

  Now, spying on the captain would have heavy consequences on any ship and be considered a step toward mutiny, and if Read had intentions of bringing harm to Calico Jack it was my obligation to intervene. I prepared to call out for help, when I noticed that Read was dressed slightly strangely for a mutiny.

  He was dressed only in a nightshirt, and his thin, hairless legs were sticking out from underneath the gown. His arms were thin and suspiciously weak-looking, so I had no fear of overpowering him. It was then that I saw Ms. Bonny's naked body appear through the window. She was lying on the bed, displayed in in all of her full-figured glory. She leaned back against the mountain of pillows, lazily stroking her heavy breasts with the tips of her fingers. She ran her hands down the cream-colored flesh of her stomach and hips and played with the soft brown tangle of hair between her legs. She was stunning to behold.

  I realized that Read was not spying on the captain at all, but rather, Ms. Bonny.

  In one swift motion, I yanked Read's head back by his short, shaggy hair and cupped my hand around his mouth to muffle his cry. "Make one move and I will snap your neck, you filthy voyeur."

  Read struggled against me but I held him fast. Finally, he stopped whimpering and blinked at me silently, letting me know he would struggle no further. I looked through the window, getting a better view of the bedroom.

  Calico Jack came into view of the window and crawled into bed beside Bonny. His naked backside stuck toward us like a naughty schoolboy. His whole body was darkly-tanned from years spent beneath the hot Caribbean sun, and his back was taut with muscle and black tattoos covered his arms and shoulders. He lowered his head to kiss Bonny on the mouth, then down the side of her face and chin. He sucked one of her nipples between his lips and Bonny smiled and said, "Yes, Jack, just like that."

  Bonny rolled him over on his back and reached between his legs, wrapping her hand around the captain's prodigious length of flesh. She grasped his cock with both of her hands and was just about to climb on top of him when Mr. Read knocked my hand away and escaped across the deck. I immediately gave chase, leaping past the ship's wheel and diving just in time to catch him by the fabric of his nightshirt.

  The shirt pulled up over his waist and I kicked his foot out from under him, tripping him enough that he fell on the slippery deck on his back. I looked down at the triangle of down hair between my shipmate's legs and gasped aloud.

  There was no cock there. It was more like a cunny.

  Read immediately yanked the nightshirt back down and tried to roll away from me, but I grabbed on quickly and stuck my hand down the front of the nightshirt and squeezed a handful of soft breast. Smaller than Ms. Bonny's, certainly, but unmistakable all the same. I yanked my hand away in disbelief, and Read snapped, "Get your filthy hands off of me."

  I let go and said, "Why are you pretending to be a man?"

  "Keep your voice down!" Read hissed. "You have no idea what you're talking about, fool."

  "I saw between your legs. I may not be an expert, but that's a cunny, at least as far as I've ever heard one described. And you have breasts. Granted, very tiny ones, but still, I felt them. You are a woman."

  Read's face changed, losing its cemented scowl and snarling lips to reveal a more delicate, terrified appearance. Now it all made sense. I'd immediately noticed Read's more feminine aspects, but had been so off-put by the gruff manner that I never suspected the truth. "Does the captain know?" I said.

  "No," she replied. "I'd be booted from the ship instantly for my own good."

  "Bonny is allowed to stay," I said.

  "Bonny is protected by the captain. And by simply being Bonny. She's more aggressive in that way than any man on any ship."

  I pondered her words, and finally said, "I think I understand."

  She looked at me, her large brown eyes pleading with me, "Will you tell anyone, Fawkes?"

  "Why do you want to be on a pirate ship? Do you not miss being a woman? I thought you all liked wearing dresses and dancing and such."

  Read laughed bitterly and said, "You really have spent your whole life at sea, haven't you? Why can a woman not love sailing as much as any man?"

  "How should I know? It is simply the way it is," I muttered. I moved past her to return downstairs, "Your secret will be safe with me, so long as the captain never asks me directly. I cannot lie to him. Just so you know where I stand."

  "Thank you, Fawkes," she said.

  I laid down in my bunk and folded my hands behind my head, staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts of Ms. Bonny's bare breasts and sex filled my mind and loins with heat. I felt a painfully stiff erection welling up under my nightshirt, something I struggled to cover up quickly as Read came down the steps and slid into the bedroll beside me.

  I slid my hand down under the blanket and pulled up my nightshirt to grab myself in my hand. It did feel big, I thought, hearing Ms. Bonny's words over and over in my head about how much she liked it. I started to stroke myself up and down, trying to block out the noises of the men around me. I pictured Bonny spreading her legs at me through the window, letting me see the crease of her damp sex and suddenly, I didn't care who was around me.

  "You asleep?" Read whispered in my ear.

  "Damn it!" I snarled. She was right next to me in the bed and I hopped away from her so she didn't catch on what I was doing. "What do you want?"

  "I need to know that I can trust you," she said, but her voice drifted off as her arm bumped into my erection through the blanket. "Were you just playing with your prig?"

  "Shut up and go away," I said.

  "I know most of the other crew does it when they're trying to go to sleep. Hell, sometimes I pretend to do it too just so they don't think I'm strange."

  "That's wonderful. Thanks so much," I said. My cheeks glowed with humiliation.

  "Were you thinking about Bonny?" she whispered. She leaned in close to me, her hand now resting against my organ like the arm-rest on a chair. "Her big breasts? Is that what you like, Fawkes?"

  I said nothing, but Read's hand clamped around the head of erection through the blanket and began to twist it lightly like she was juicing an orange. "She likes you, you know. She told me. She said she wondered what your python would feel like in her cunny."

  "She did?" I muttered.

  Read pulled back the blanket and got under it with me. She
hiked up her nightshirt and opened her legs toward me, so that I felt the heat of her sex on my bare thigh. She spit into her palm and grabbed me again, this time massaging her saliva into it so that I was lost in her grip as she glided back and forth. She took my hand and put it between her legs, cupping my palm against her sex. The hair there was damp and slick and I tickled the small opening I found there with the tips of my fingers.

  "There is a small nub there," she instructed. "Make little circles with your finger on it. Yes…just like that."

  She panted in my ear, telling me to keep going as she licked her palm again and smothered me with her saliva. It was too much to bear, and I groaned as my insides flexed and hot seed shot out of me into her waiting hand.

  "Don't stop," Read begged me, trying to get me to keep touching her, but I was left useless by the strength of my orgasm and my eyes closed of their own avail.

  "Fawkes? Fawkes," she said, tapping my face to try and keep me awake. "Stupid boys," she sighed.

  Chapter 3. The Other Captain

  Captain Barto Morris unscrolled the latest set of wanted posters and cursed bitterly. Not only was Calico Jack's likeness better (and more handsomely) rendered, the price on his head was now more than Morris' own. "Tell me something, Jerome," Morris called out toward the oriental privacy-screen in the corner of his room. "How in the hell does a foppish wastrel like Jack's head come to be worth even one doubloon more than my own?"

  Jerome's voice was high-pitched and creaking behind the screen, "I dunno, Captain. Bloody disgrace if you ask me. As if taking down a ship like the Excursion is anything to brag about."

  "We were going after the Excursion too, you stupid git," Morris muttered. He stuffed the poster into his jacket and stared out the window, watching the waves lap against the side of his ship. The Maidenhead was an imposing ship with black sails and tall, towering masts. It made no sense that something as puny as the Ace of Spades bring anyone acclaim, let alone someone as boorish and arrogant as her captain. He caught sight of a dolphin leaping up over the water, but was too dejected to pay it any mind. "Nobody respects true craftsmen any longer, that's the problem," Morris sighed. "A pretty face. That's all they care about in this day."