Hilda - The Challenge

by Paul Kater

  "We are now hiding in the crowd. Nobody sees us. This is really the best way to do this."

  Hilda sighed, as a bulky man pushed against her, trying to head on faster than the crowd allowed. It took her a lot of self-control not to whip up her wand and give him a piece of her mind. After all, they did not want to be discovered, and not reacting to this insult was the way to go.

  They still progressed at a decent speed, and only half an hour after being sucked into the group of people wanting to enter the white city of Heraldion, they passed along the first white houses. The city was entirely open, William saw, nowhere were guards or soldiers. It made him feel at ease.

  "There are lots of wizards, witches and warlocks going around here, so be careful what you do," said Hilda, "they walk around in ordinaries' clothes like we do, so it is hard to discover them. They're good and can hide their magic for someone like you who is not experienced."

  That made him feel ill at ease.

  Heraldion was magnificent. Entirely different from Frad, there were stalls on every street, places where they could sit to look at things, plenty of options to eat and drink the most exotic things in outrageous colours and shapes.

  The houses were not all white, as they had looked from a distance. The roofs and top floors were white, but the sections on the ground floor had been painted in all colours of the rainbow, making the walk through the streets a very joyful one. They gazed at the colours, the signs that invited people in, mentioned events that were taking place in several parts of the town. It was a real big city atmosphere, thought William.

  There were people about from many areas, Hilda recognised many of them. Some were even from king Walt's country, traders that were here for the continuous big market, as she pointed out to William.

  "Want to see the market?" She remembered where it was, as she had been in this city a few times before. Before there were challenges and Lamador.

  "Would be interesting," said William who almost forgot that they were here for a purpose and not for merely enjoying the sights. "And it might give us a good starting point for the plan."

  Hilda nodded, her face overshadowed for a moment. "Yes. The plan." Being in the middle of Heraldion it seemed to her that the ideas William had brought up had less chance of succeeding than a broom trying to fly off on its own.

  The giant stream of people was already heading for the big market, so it was very easy to get to it, they only had to go with the flow and get out of it in time. The closer they came to the market, the higher the level of noise became, and also the smells that jumped their senses became more and more varied. William was flabbergasted at the sheer amount of different scents his nose was able to discern as they were drifting along the street that led to the giant market place.

  The market place was oval shaped. Every square yard was used, to accomodate stalls, tables and low carts with goods. The organised chaos that reigned there was a slight shock to William and even Hilda.

  "Crappedy crap, it's gotten even worse than the last time I was here. They made it larger also," Hilda muttered. She pulled William along with her as she stepped out of the river of bodies that kept moving along.

  "Going anywhere special?", he asked as he was taken by surprise.

  "Yeah. Away from that crawling madness." Hilda looked around, trying to find a place even further away, but the pavement that they stood on was littered with tables, chairs and people. It looked as if there was no escape possible.

  "What about that then?" William nodded to a place that looked like a restaurant. Over it hung a large banner informing the world that it was "The Great Lamador". "I'd say they have a special affection with their sorcerer." He slipped his arm around hers and started working his way by the neverending flow of people.

  "William, we can't go sit there!", Hilda hissed, trying to hold him back in vain.

  "Why not?"

  "Because it's... it's... well, just because." Hilda pouted as she did not want to come up with the proper word.

  "Do you have another suggestion?", William asked her as they were pushed and shoved by people who wanted to get past them.

  "Depends on what you have in - oompf - mind. Hey, watch it okay?" Hilda yelled after someone very rude, but the person pretended to be deaf.

  "How about sitting down and eat something? So far we've had a glass of beer, and I can't function on that."

  Hilda was hungry also. They had come a long way, the afternoon was progressing nicely already, and there -was- food on the tables of 'The Great Lamador'.

  "I hate you, just remember that," she said as she pushed herself past William and located a table as far from the crowd as possible. She dropped herself on a chair and immediately a whiff of food from the kitchen attracted her attention.

  William sat down also, and he too looked into the establishment from where the smell of food came.

  A woman, dressed in lightblue shirt, skirt and shoes, her black hair trimmed very short, came to their table. "Hello, dear guests," she said with a professional smile, "welcome to 'The Great Lamador'. What can I bring you?"

  Hilda looked up at the young woman with a frown. William located a funny feeling in his peace of mind, Hilda looking like that usually was not a good sign.

  "What food and drink do you have?"

  William let his tension escape. This was good. For now.

  The waitress summed up the goodies that the kitchen and the bar had for sale. Hilda then ordered a cup of tea and a chicken Great Lamador. William also ordered tea, and the ham Great Lamador. It was not possible to order any food that was not Great Lamador in this place.

  The lightblue waitress returned rather quickly with the two cups of tea. Before she could rush off to another table, William asked her: "Could you please tell me why this restaurant is called the Great Lamador?"

  The waitress smiled. "Certainly, sir. The owner of the restaurant has been married to a niece of no one else than the Great Sorcerer himself."

  "And that is all?" William wondered.

  During the entire talk he had with the woman, Hilda tried to make herself invisible. How could this man that she valued and loved so much be so silly and talk about the enemy so leisurely? Why was he attracting so much attention? Weren't they here in secret? All these and many more thoughts ran through Hilda's mind and she had the biggest fight with herself to appear calm and interested in the people walking by. None of whom, by the way, seemed in the least bit interested in any of the people at the tables.

  "Mareeta!", someone yelled from the insides of the Great Lamador. The lightblue clad waitress, hearing her name, excused herself and sped off.

  "I don't understand you," hissed Hilda to William.

  "Relax, everything is going fine," said William, who actually felt very relaxed. Too bad that Hilda had not gotten the details of the plan, but that would straighten itself out. He was certain.

  Mareeta came back, carrying large plates with food and a bowl of salad. "Enjoy," she said as she placed everything on the table very skilled. Then she was away, off to assist the next customers.

  The food was excellent, as was the tea.

  "I really don't know what you are doing, William," said Hilda in the quietest voice she could.

  "Sweet woman, I am gathering information," he said, "and don't you love that salad. I really wish that I knew what they do to it."

  "What?", asked Hilda.

  "Do you really want to know?", asked Mareeta who came sailing by with a few large glasses of beer. After delivering them, she came back to the table of the magical couple.

  Hilda glared at William for a moment, wishing she was able to magic herself away. Far away. To her house, for instance.

  Mareeta sat on down on a chair at their table. "You know, this is a bit of a secret, so you should not tell anyone..." She looked around for new customers, but there was nobody requiring her services. "The cook was a pupil of the great sorceror. He has all kinds of magical tricks he can do with the food to make it taste as the best thin
g ever. He learnt that in the kitchens of king Herald's castle." Again Mareeta looked around. "He does not tell anyone why he got kicked out of the castle. But that's fine. We have a good cook because of that."

  Four women, obviously ladies who sold things on the grand oval market, occupied a table. Mareeta took that as her cue and left the magical couple to their food.

  "We have what we want," said William, and smiled.

  43. The action unfolds

  "You speak riddles, William. We have food and a talkative waitress. Is that what we want?" Hilda shook her head, ate the last bits of food and then sat back, her teacup in hand. "I thought we were after something entirely different, but if you say we have what we want, then we can go home again, can't we?" She'd like that more than anything.

  "Almost, sweetheart," said William. He had finished eating also. "There are a few small things we need to arrange, and then we can go."

  Hilda looked at the wizard-to-be. "Why can't I understand you, William? Can you one day try and explain that to me?"

  "That, my sweet witch, is because I am from another world, one that has more devious things and mean streaks than this one. I'll teach you some."

  "I am wicked. Not mean." She sipped her tea, her eyes obtaining a slight red shine for a moment.

  "Hilda, please trust me," William said, taking her free hand and kissing it. "We'll be out of here in a jiffy if things go according to plan."

  "Plan. Your plan. Why did I ever believe that. But well, go and do what you have to. The sooner it's done, the sooner we're on our way home."

  "We'll go back soon," he promised. "Now come with me, I need your help. Just nod and look the smart person you are, okay?"

  Hilda sighed. "There is nothing you can do without me, is there? I'll come, and I'll hold your hand if I need to."

  William grinned and then together they walked into the restaurant. William followed his nose to the kitchen. Apparently it was a normal thing to do here, since nobody asked them where they were going. In a dark corner he stopped walking, quickly flipped up his wand and changed a few pebbles he had picked up somewhere into pieces of paper.

  "Just hold that," he said to Hilda, handing her a piece of paper.

  "Now what is this..." She sounded tired of this game.

  "I have no time to explain it all, but it is a prop in the play called bluff," he said. Then he put his hand at the small of her back and gently pulled her along as he entered the kitchen.

  There were four people working in the kitchen. Three were busy cutting up fruit, vegetables, meat and fish. The fourth, sporting a mocking look and a wand, sat on a table, directing the movements of pots, pans and spoons on a giant stove with at least 12 burners.

  All four looked at the door where the two strangers had just entered.

  "Good day," said William, holding up his piece of paper. Hilda saw it and followed his move. "We are Smith and Jones, Health and Safety department. I assume you were notified we were coming?"

  All four people in the kitchen stopped their work. The flunked sorcerer almost dropped the spoons he was holding afloat. "Uhm, no?"

  William faked a heavy sigh. "Not? That is the third today that they failed to inform. I am very sorry, folks. Bureaucracy is against us, as always."

  Hilda stared at William and was dumbstruck by the way he went about and was talking. Their names were not Smith or Jones, and she had never heard of a thing called 'Health and Safety department'. She saw how he walked into the kitchen as if he owned the place, stunning the cooks and- then she saw the light. The play called bluff. Finally the pieces fell together and a smile appeared on the witch's face. She understood bluff.

  Hilda marched into the kitchen also, circling the large stove and approaching the man who was chopping up vegetables. She shoved her paper in the face of the man, stating: "Health. And safety." She looked over the worktop. "How do you clean this?"

  The man put down the knife and was about to open a storage closet under the sink, when she pointed at the stove. "How safe it that? Looks dangerous to me."

  "Oh, it is very-", the man started, aborting his dive to the small door.

  "Do you have rats here?", Hilda asked, not letting him finish what he started to say.

  "No, miss, we don't serve rats."

  As Hilda was tormenting the cook's assistant in charge of the veggies, William walked through the kitchen also, ignoring the sorcerer-gone-cook and asked one the fish-cleaner if there was a proper way to leave the kitchen in case of a fire.

  "There's door," the man pointed.

  "Indeed," William nodded, "there is a door. But does the door open?"

  The fish-cutter looked at the cook, who frowned and was lost over this strange invasion also. The fish-man walked to the door and pushed it. It opened. He turned to William. "Yes. It opens."

  William walked out the door. He found himself in a small courtyard where a few chickens ran around. There was a pen with some pigs, a goat was tied to a pole near a water well. Most of the yard was fenced in, but there was one opening that led out of the yard, and presumably into a street.

  "Does that lead to a street?", he asked the fish-man, pointing at the opening.

  "Yes, sir. I walk through there every day when I come to work. Can I go back to my fish now, sir?"

  "Yes, you go to you fish, and be careful with your hands. The knife looks pretty sharp to me." William was entirely in his role and suppressed his grins as he heard how Hilda was making life miserable for the three men in the kitchen. He almost felt sorry for them.

  Upon returning into the kitchen, he saw how Hilda was using a questioning tactic on the man in charge of the meat that would have made a KGB officer proud.

  "So you say you use this knife to cut pork AND beef?" Hilda had a big knife in her hand, the tip floating precariously close to one of the man's eyes. "Don't you think you should at least wipe it off before you start using it on another kind of meat?"

  "But I do wash-"

  "Silence! I am here for the health and the safety, so I will tell you what to do!" Hilda was enjoying this. "You will wipe off the knife before you use it on different meat. Is that clear?"

  "Yes, miss." The poor man was bending over backwards to avoid contact with the knife. He knew how sharp it was.

  "Good." Hilda clapped the knife on the table. "And remember that." She looked over to where William was, hoping that he would appreciate how well she was doing.

  "Miss Jones, can you step over here?", said William, looking at her.

  "Sure, miss Smith," she replied, realising her mistake and shrugging it away.

  William as well as the sorcerer he was standing next to frowned. Hilda joined them.

  "Now to you, sir. Can you please step outside with us for a moment?", said William, pointing to the open door that led out to the yard.

  "But I have the food to attend to!", the magical cook said, "I can't leave here."

  Hilda waved her paper in the man's face. "Health and safety come first, do you hear me? What kind of cook are you if you can't even keep a few spoons going without looking at them? Come on, man, listen to miss Smith." She had decided that persisting would work best. "Hey, folks, you keep an eye on the spoons, okay? Safety is important."

  Hilda took the sorcerer by the arm and with her usual absence of diplomacy dragged the surprised man from the table and out the door. William, more than only a bit surprised, followed the two out into the yard.

  Hilda held on to the cook. "And now what?", she asked William.

  "Do you know boxing?", miss Smith asked the sorcerer.

  "No. What is boxing?"

  "Good." William nodded, made a fist and aimed. A few seconds later the cook and also the spoons fell down. Only the cook was caught and carried off into the narrow corridor that would lead to the street. Halfway through it, William lay down the knocked-out cook and used magic to change some of the man's clothes into ropes to tie him up. As he was working on that, he said to Hilda: "Can you get our brooms here?"


  "Yes, but do you want to fly out of here?"

  William hoisted the cook on his shoulder. "Come, move, these guys in the kitchen won't wonder forever why the cook is not coming back." As they went on and reached the luckily very silent street, he continued: "If this man can use magic without raising attention, I assume we can do that too. And on broomstick it is much faster to get away than on foot."

  "Yes, smart man, and what will you do with your... cargo?"

  "Well, I had hoped that you would come with a marvelous plan, resident witch."

  "Oh. Thank you, but this is not my residence, so..."

  William slowly saw the back-end of his plan fall to bits and crumble into nothingness. If there was no way out then the whole thing would go pear-shaped.

  Hilda took pity on William. "Just you keep the cargo quiet," she said, patting him on the arm. "I'll think of something. Quickly too."

  William hoped it was a good thing she would think of.

  Hilda walked ahead a few steps and saw a side-street. "In here," she ordered.

  As they walked down that street, William asked if Hilda couldn't just shrink the cargo, the way she had done with his luggage.

  "Nope, sorry, that only works with things," Hilda shattered his hope. "But I have the next best solution here."

  William stared at her. She stood next to a horse that was waiting in front of a cart. "So we'll just..."

  "...borrow it," the wicked witch completed his words. "Now throw that guy in the back, keep him quiet and let's go."

  William unloaded the man into the cart and climbed in the back also, while Hilda got up on the front and took the reins.

  "Do you know how to handle that?", William asked as he watched Hilda go about all that.

  "Just you mind the cook and hold on. I'll take care of this." She sounded very confident, and that was worrying William. But it was the best option.