Hilda - The Challenge

by Paul Kater

  "No way," replied William, "this way we tell him without words that we don't find him so great."

  "Oh. Right." Hilda looked at the paper again. "Through this official note I challenge you to a duel on the next dark moon, in the forest where the witch Baba Yaga lives. You are free to bring an aid with you. The challenge is for points, not for lives. Signed, nothing."

  With a frown she took the quil and signed her name under it. Then she looked at William. "Why do I have the feeling that I have just signed my own death cerfiticate?"

  "Because you still don't trust the plan, sweetwitch," William said. "He can bring an aid, but he is probably so full of himself that he won't."

  "He won't need to," said Hilda.

  "Don't forget, Hilda, that he does not know the terrain, and we do. Well, you do, I do just a bit. We're fighting on our terrain, even if it doesn't look like it. He won't have time to prepare much as we set the time for the challenge so tight."

  "He'll be very surprised about this challenge," Hilda nodded, "I have to give you that. He'd never expect that."

  "Which is what we are aiming for. We take the lead away from him for new, and do all we can to unnerve him. Anything that gives us an edge on him."

  Hilda nodded. "Yes, you told me before. I hope that you are right, William. This has never been done before as far as I know. And I know a lot about this stuff."

  The goldfish on her cup looked at the two magical people, then at each other. This was puzzling even to them.

  The magical couple got ready to do the rounds. As they walked outside, Hilda touched William's hand. "You know that you deserve these colours now, don't you?"

  William looked at the clothes. He had worn the blue and silver so often that he didn't really realise what the colours stood for.

  "You've progressed well, my sweet man. I have no problems calling you a wizard now. You're not all great and fabulous, but you make a pretty decent wizard all the same."

  "Oh. Wow. Thank you." Willia knew that Hilda was not throwing compliments like that around easily, so this meant quite a great deal to him.

  "No need to thank me," she said as she mounted her broom. "You did all the work. And you listened to me. That is remarkable."

  Before William could ask her why it was so remarkable, she was already in the air. He kicked off and followed her.

  "I have a very silly plan," Hilda shared with him as he had caught up with her. "I intend to let Walt win today, if he's there."

  "You mean..."

  She grinned. "Yes. The weather's nice, the sun is warm, we'll be dry so fast. It will be fun, and it will make his day also."

  "Well, that's fine with me." William was in the mood for some silliness also, so they both hoped the king would be ready and waiting for them. They were not disappointed.

  Calmly they hovered over the fountain, looking for the door to move through which the king would come running to see the attempt. William quickly mumbled a spell.

  They saw or sensed the water coming. They saw the door move.

  "Not too fast," said Hilda, as the water from the fountain came up to them.

  Walt was out the door and his hands went up in the air as he saw the sprays of the fountain engulf the two floating figures that were over the marble assembly.

  Hilda and William flew up as they were getting soaked by the water jetting from the pipes. It chilled them, it was colder than they had expected, but it was a thrill nonetheless. They sped up to get away from the water as they heard Walt yell and scream. The couple was laughing too as they swooped out of the water's way and dropped down to the ground.

  "You got us, king," said Hilda.

  "Yes! See! I told you I'd get you some day!" Walt was almost dancing for joy. "And I'll get you again, some day."

  Leaving the king in a fabulous mood, they flew off, on the way to the village. They knew they had done a good deed.

  "Good thinking with the spell, William," Hilda complimented him. She had sensed his shock as he realised that the note with the challenge was going to get soaked also, and had heard him mumble a protection spell to keep it dry. "One day you'll be a proper wizard."

  "Thank you. I hope I will be able to live up to your hopes," he said.

  "You'd better. Or I'm going to come after you," Hilda said, her face straight.

  "That sounds nice," he grinned.

  "You know that you are terrible, don't you?" Too bad, she thought, that a hug in flight counted as irresponsible acrobatics.

  They reached the village, landed in the market square as that had most space, and then William followed Hilda to the house where the archers were taking in notes to be distributed.

  "Oh, hello, honourable witch," the administrative archer said, "long time since we have seen you. And welcome, honourable wizard," he added, noticing William. "How may we help you?"

  "We have a note that should be sent," Hilda said. She looked at William.

  "Oh, right." He brought the note up and handed it to the administrator. "To the attention of the sorcerer Lamador, at the castle of king Herald."

  "Okay..." the man was scribbling something on the shaft of an arrow, rolled the note around it and handed it to a second person who wrote something down on a piece of paper.

  "Two silver pieces," said the writer.

  "That'll be two silver pieces then," said the administrator.

  "Suck an elf," Hilda muttered, "rates went up a lot since I last was here." She grabbed into a pocket and counted two silver coins. "I could go bring it myself for that money."

  "But not as fast," grinned the administrator.

  "If that were a bet, I knew where my money would go," said William, slipping his arm around Hilda. The smile on the administrator's face disappeared.

  They left the archery office.

  "Nice of you, telling him off, sweet man," Hilda said, collecting her broom from the wall. "Come. We do rounds and have fun. And then we have to talk to Babs about what you- we are planning."

  46. Our turn

  "Are you both out of your witching minds?" Baba Yaga stared at them from inside the crystal ball. "You sent a challenge to Lamador? And you want to settle that here, in MY forest?!"

  Hilda understood that it would take some explaining to make the Russian witch see their side of the idea. "Yes. You got all that right, except us being out of our minds."

  "Run that by me again? Didn't you just tell me you went to Heraldion and snatched someone who was related to Lamador?

  "Yes. We did that. We just told you." Hilda nodded. "And we sent him home again, unhurt."

  "Willy... I don't recognise my girlfriend. What the hell did you put into her? No- don't even answer that. I suddenly remember that I don't want to know that. Forget I even asked."

  William pinched Hilda's butt. She slapped him.

  "That's my girl," Baba Yaga muttered who only saw Hilda's move. "But still you are strange folks. You send this powermonger a challenge for the next dark moon, which is close. You want to mess things up in my forest, to make it worse. And to top it off, you are telling me about it and want to know when you can come to set up some... goodies?"

  "Yes," the two said at the same time.

  "You two..." The ugly witch shook her head. Then the magical couple made out, among the wrinkles, the expression Babs claimed was a smile. "I love your brazen disregard for how it's done. Get your hineys on brooms and come over whenever you want. You're always welcome here!"

  Hilda grinned. "If we hurry, we could make it over there today... But I don't feel like hurry. We'll drop by tomorrow, okay, Babs?"

  "Sure, Hilly baby, I'll have tea when you get here."

  After the call to Baba Yaga, they tossed who would make dinner. William won, so Hilda had to wait until he was done. The result was good though. William was making friends with most objects in the kitchen. The only thing that remained a hazard was the oven. Perhaps it had a masochistic streak in it, that it wanted to be kicked ever so often.

  They spent most of th
e evening writing down lists of things they wanted to take along to Babs' forest, and also how they would set up the goodies they had in mind. As they were busy on their snide plans, Hilda or William got another new plan for a goody, so the list was amazingly long when they finally ended their hard work.

  "We may have to enlist some more witches to get all that in place," said Hilda as she looked over the stack of sheets they had filled up with ideas and plans.

  "I am sure we can get the best ones set up already. No need to worry about the whole list now, sweetwitch," William said.

  Hilda, who had settled in his lap again, put her arms around William's neck. "You are one crazy person. And you have crazy ideas. I hope they are crazy enough to shock Lamador."

  William's hands rested on her hips. "I hope so too. We'll make them work. You and I together."

  "And we have to hide from him that you are magical," Hilda added. "That might be difficult however. Although no other magical person so far has sensed magic in you, and that's a good thing." It was clear that this was something that worried her, at least occupied her mind. William being not magical in other people's view was one of their trump cards.

  "You know what?", said William, "We'll get drunk. Well, at least have a glass of wine, and we'll toast to our victory."

  Hilda looked at him, her eyes shining blue. "Yes, that's a good idea. And I'm getting one like yours! No water."

  "Uhm, perhaps you should be careful. You know what you're like. One whiff of a barmaid's apron and you're singing like a sailor," William warned her.

  "Huh?"

  "Never mind."

  Later he carried her to bed. She was singing.

  "William...," the witch whispered, "wand..."

  He gave her his.

  She used it on her head. "Oh... that is better... I should not drink wine like that again. And it's all your fault, and you know that. Here..." She slapped the wand on his stomach.

  "Oompf. Thank you, dear." He made the wand vanish. "You have a remarkable singing voice, you know that?"

  "Oh, shush you. You make breakfast." She rolled on her side, turning her back to William. Her hair became a grey veil over her face and shoulders. "Let me know when it's done," she mumbled.

  William grinned soundlessly and got up. He went down, to the kitchen, and prepared a solid breakfast. They'd need it for the flight to Baba Yaga's territory. Then he came up to the bedroom, where Hilda was still curled up, on her side.

  He nodded and placed a well-aimed slap on her bottom.

  She shot up, staring at him. "What?!"

  William smiled. "Breakfast is ready. You wanted to know, right? You did not say how, so I improvised" Then he escaped from the room. A pillow flew through the room as the wicked witch yelled after him.

  Not much later Hilda came down and sat at the table. "You hit hard," she complained.

  "I'm sorry if I hurt you," William said.

  "You didn't. It was kind of different to wake up like that." She giggled. "But don't make a habit out of it, okay?"

  "Promise."

  Somewhat later they were outside, in travel clothes, brooms at hand. Hilda showed William how to conjure the chains around the house, but as he tried to make them appear, it did not work. He frowned and did not feel too good about that.

  "Don't worry, sweet man. This is a different kind of magic. You may not be ready for it yet."

  He watched how effortlessly she put the tremendous amount of iron around the house.

  "Ready. Come, we're off."

  They mounted their brooms and lifted to the skies, brooms turning into the direction of Baba Yaga's home.

  The flight was long, but compared to what they had done to harass Lamador it was a joyride. Once they had arrived, Babs had indeed tea waiting for them, and also their guestroom was prepared already.

  The wrinkled witch was still amazed about their plan, but screamed about the beauty of its boldness.

  "So the points you mention are gathered by 'getting to the other participant'. And how do you intend to 'get' to Lamador?", Baba Yaga asked.

  "Anything that is not lethal or damaging goes," explained William. "We just want to shake him up, unnerve him. Think of anything, buckets of water falling from trees to whacking him in the behind with a piece of wood. The sweetness of this all is that magic will not be allowed, and we will have people here that will watch the duel. Use magic and you lose."

  "That is the most insane kind of challenge I have ever heard of," said Babs, "a duel between magicals without using magic."

  "But Lamador will have to accept it," said Hilda. "If he refuses, then he can't expect me to show up for his challenge. He'd be dishonouring me."

  Babs nodded. "That is how it works, yes. Still, I wonder how you will get out of this. Knowing him, he will not give in that easy."

  "Well, either way around we will have to face him," William said. "He made the mistake of allowing me into his challenge with Hilda, knowing nothing about me, which is good. By not using magic, there is only a minimal risk that he will find out how I have changed."

  "You are devious, William." Baba Yaga handed the tray with cookies around again.

  Hilda clung to William's arm. "Isn't he sweet?"

  "I'll leave that decision up to you, Hilly baby. Looks like you made it already, so I am not going to argue with you. Now, what's the plan for today?"

  "We want to look around your forest," said Hilda who wanted to be in charge. "Get to know the area, decide on where we will stage the challenge, things like that."

  "Yes. That and have the advantage of knowing our way around," grinned William.

  Baba Yaga's cackling laughter bounced off the walls and shattered a window.

  After tea, they went out and got airborne. Baba Yaga took the lead and directed them to a rather remote part of the forest that she lived in.

  "Not many peope come here," she said. She could have saved herself the trouble of mentioning this. If ever there had been a more inhospitable piece of forest, Hilda nor William wanted to know about it. This place was so evil, dismal and gloomy that they both had the urge to turn around and go away. Fast.

  William shivered as he looked down at the dark, waving mass of branches. It felt to him as if they were trying to lure him down. It was spooky to see, there more as there was no wind.

  "You have... interesting places here, Babs," Hilda commented dryly. The view gave her the shivers. "How do you get to the floor?"

  "Using magic and brute force," the ugly witch explained. You have to slam an opening somewhere using magic and then throw yourself through it quickly. The trees here are sentient and will make it hard for you to land. It's not too bad once you get the trick down, though." Baba Yaga lowered her broom, staying just out of reach of the waving branches. With magic she created an opening somewhere that looked safe.

  Hilda and William saw how she simply dopped herself into the hole that seemed to suck her in and eat her up. They looked at each other.

  "You want to go first?", asked William. "I yield to seniority."

  "You are just a coward," Hilda snorted.

  "Yes, I admit to that. This place scares the willies out of me. But let's do this together. I'll see you down there."

  Hilda nodded. They lowered their brooms, summoned their wands to be on the safe side, and punched holes in the foliage. Once the openings appeared, they let themselves fall through, the way Baba Yaga had done. The trees tried to catch the two figures, but more from luck than wisdom on the side of the couple, the trees missed. Only inches from the forest floor, the brooms came to a halt.

  William tumbled from his broom, not prepared for the strange final of the maneuver. But he had made it.

  "Tired already?", asked their guide. "Come on, Willy, there are sights to see and places to discover."

  William got up but fell down again as he had not seen that a long twig had wrapped itself around one of his ankles already. "Holy Bejeebus, is this forest out to get us?", he grumbled as he kicked himself f
ree.

  "Yes. Did you notice?"

  This message from Baba Yaga made him feel most unwelcome.

  "Mount the brooms, stay off the floor."

  "Uhm, Babsy baby, perhaps you missed the bit that we do not want to use magic in the challenge here?" Hilda however hopped onto her broom, as there were things trying to crawl up her legs.

  "No, I heard you, but you said 'no magic', not 'no flying a broom'." Baba Yaga looked at her girlfriend.

  William almost fell off his broom as he heard that. "Babs, you have been in the trade for a bit too long perhaps. How does one fly a broom without magic?"

  "Can I hit him?", Baba Yaga asked Hilda.

  "No. He's mine. Get one of your own."

  The Russian witch glared at William. "You are lucky I love this girl as my sister. Otherwise you'd be in trouble."

  47. Eye-quill coordination

  They completed their tour around the area that Baba Yaga had in mind. Most of it was less hostile than the part where they had landed, as in that it was possible to walk around there without the need to beat off twigs and shrubs all the time.

  Back in the hut with the chicken legs, Babs served more tea and more cookies. "So you are happy with the patch. That's good. I may be able to work out a bit of a preparatory spell for it while you are gone again. If Lamador can play things dirty, he's at the right address for more."

  "Oh? What are you planning then?" Hilda nibbled a cookie, stared at it and handed it to William. "Yours."

  Babs watched the strange exchange of the cookie, then snapped out of it. "Oh, just a little thingy. I think it would be helpful if the forest calms down a bit when one of you two is there. In a radius of, let's say, three feet?"

  Hilda's eyes sparkled blue. "You have the most ingenious ideas, Babs. I love you for that. Do you really think you can pull that off? It's quite an area."

  "I said I'd work on it, okay? What was wrong with that cookie?"

  "It was not sweet enough," Hilda said as she let her finger soar over the plate with cookies.

  "They're all the same, Hilly baby..."