Make-Believe Wife

by Anne Herries

  Roxanne was not summoned to the earl’s side that night but at half past six the next morning she went to his room and found that Luke was still there, his long legs stretched out before him as he dozed in the armchair. He woke as she entered and looked at her sheepishly.

  ‘I must have dozed off,’ he apologised. ‘I do not think he called out or I should have heard.’

  Roxanne looked down at the earl. His eyes were closed, but as she bent over him, he opened them and then deliberately winked at her.

  ‘Good morning, Grandfather,’ she said and bent to kiss his cheek. ‘How are you this morning?’

  ‘Better,’ he grunted. ‘What on earth that grandson of mine wanted to sit there all night for I’ve no idea.’

  Luke had risen to his feet and was stretching his shoulders, clearly feeling the effects of an uncomfortable night. ‘Roxanne would have insisted on sitting with you had I not taken a turn,’ he said. ‘I’m glad to see you better, sir. I will call and see you later. Please excuse me.’

  ‘Much good he would have been,’ the earl said as the door closed behind him, but there was no malice in his words, just a hint of amusement. ‘His snoring would waken the dead.’

  ‘I’m sorry Luke’s snoring disturbed you. How long had you been awake?’

  ‘An hour or so, perhaps. I hadn’t the heart to wake him, but I need Marshall’s assistance. Fetch him to me, girl, and then take yourself off for a few hours. You must have something you need to do?’

  ‘I believe I shall speak to Minty about flowers for the wedding,’ Roxanne said and smiled. ‘You’re a sly old fox, sir. If I didn’t know better, I would think you had a plan to bring us all to heel.’

  ‘Do that graceless scamp good to think of someone else for a change. He’s like me, too selfish and careless of others—but you were right, girl, I do care for him and I shall tell him so next time he comes. No good leaving it until it’s too late.’

  ‘I shall see you later,’ Roxanne said and went off to summon his manservant before going in search of the head gardener.

  After an hour spent in delightful discussions about the various flowers needed for the church and the reception, Roxanne returned to the house. Entering the hall, she discovered Luke reading a letter. He turned to look at her with a frown.

  ‘This is from my solicitor. He writes to tell me that he has had no replies to his advertisement as such—but his office was ransacked by persons unknown the night he stayed here for the ball.’

  Roxanne went cold all over. ‘You think someone was searching for that ruby? What is so important about it? I know it is valuable, but it is not priceless—or is it? Is there something special that draws others to it?’

  ‘I think we can be certain that someone is desperate to recover the ruby. I should be prepared to give it back to whoever is the rightful owner—if that is your wish?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ She shivered. ‘It is a dangerous thing, Luke. I wish I’d never seen it.’

  ‘When Grandfather is well again I shall place another advertisement and offer to return the damned thing to the person who has been searching for it. We shall all sleep sounder in our beds once this business is over.’

  ‘Yes, I believe so,’ Roxanne agreed. ‘I think Grandfather is better this morning. His health is clearly still fragile, but I believe he was just exhausted after the ball. We should keep the wedding list to a minimum so as not to tire him too much.’

  ‘If I know Grandfather, he will insist on having a grand affair, even if he goes to bed for a week afterwards. This wedding means a great deal to him.’

  ‘Yes, but if we told him we wished for a quiet ceremony I believe he would agree.’

  ‘I’ll have a word later,’ Luke said. ‘You look very well, Roxanne. Have you been for a walk?’

  ‘Only to the hothouses. Minty has been showing me his pride and joy, which are some very rare plants. We were discussing flowers for the wedding.’ She looked at him uncertainly. ‘You do wish to continue with this?’

  ‘Yes, of course. If I have given you reason to think otherwise, I apologise, Roxanne. I will admit to having a temper and I am sometimes rash when anger gets the better of me.’

  She swallowed hard, her heart thumping. He was not saying that he loved her, merely that he wished to continue with the make-believe wedding they had planned.

  ‘Then I shall begin to write out the cards. I will send the family invitations first and you must tell me if there are friends you wish to ask, Luke.’

  ‘You have none you would wish to ask yourself?’

  ‘Perhaps Mrs Mills if it would not be too far for her to travel? I have no other friends or family, Luke, or none that I know of—but I shall content myself with yours. Your Uncle Frederick is a very pleasant man and I like his wife. Some of your neighbours are very companionable and I am sure I shall make friends here.’

  ‘You are quite settled here,’ Luke said with a rather odd look. ‘I think you would be happy to make it your home, even after Grandfather dies?’

  ‘It is such a lovely house and the estate is thriving, the people honest and hard working—and I should enjoy helping to keep it in good heart. To live as the steward of such a house and care for its people is a good life. Do you not think so?’

  ‘I like London,’ Luke said. ‘When a man is tired of London he is tired of life.’

  ‘A profound sentiment, Luke. Is it your own?’

  ‘No. I believe it was once a favourite saying of Dr Johnson.’

  ‘Ah, yes. Grandfather spoke to me of Dr Johnson’s dictionary, something he would like to add to his library, I believe.’

  ‘I must see if a copy can be subscribed,’ Luke said. ‘I will enquire when I go up to town—which puts me in mind of your wedding gift. Is there any particular jewel you like, Roxanne? I gave you pearls and emeralds, but you might prefer something different.’

  ‘Oh, no, I am very happy with what I have,’ she denied, her cheeks warm. ‘I do prefer simple things—a gold brooch for wearing in the mornings might be nice, but I have no particular need.’

  ‘People will expect you to have jewels to match your status, Roxanne. If I did not give them to you, they would imagine I neglected you and my duty. I am very sure Grandfather would have given you something for the ball had I not had my own gift to give you that night.’

  ‘We have been given several gifts for our engagement,’ Roxanne said. ‘Mrs Arlet told me that a silver tea service arrived from your godmother this morning. Your uncles and aunts have also been generous, and Cousin Horatio gave us a particularly beautiful silver inkstand. Shall I write to thank them all or would you prefer to do it yourself?’

  ‘If you have time, I shall leave you to do the honours,’ Luke said. ‘There are estate matters enough to occupy me while I stay here.’

  ‘Are you thinking of leaving for London soon?’

  ‘I may go up in a day or so. I should probably get this business of the ruby over as soon as possible, Roxanne. I will arrange for an agent in London to handle the affair. We do not need to be involved ourselves.’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ she said, conscious of a feeling of disappointment. No longer angry, Luke was being considerate and generous once more, but he had given her no reason to think that the feelings that had boiled over on the night of the ball had been anything more than an impulse he had since regretted. ‘It must be just as you wish.’

  ‘Must it?’ Luke’s gaze narrowed, becoming brooding and thoughtful. ‘I wonder what you would say if I told you what I wish for, Roxanne?’ She raised her brows and he shook his head, laughing ruefully. ‘If only I knew, my dear. I fear I am an impossible fellow and I dare say you are wishing you had never come to my aid that day in the woods.’

  ‘No,’ Roxanne said. ‘I have never wished that, nor shall I. You may have regrets, Luke, but I regret nothing.’

  With that she walked away, leaving him to stare after her and wonder what was in her mind.

  ‘Ah, you look better, sir,
’ Luke said as he saw his grandfather sitting propped up in bed reading the latest newssheet from London. ‘I wanted to see how you were. I have some business to attend in London, but did not wish to leave until you were over the worst.’

  ‘Running off before the wedding?’ The earl looked at him over the small round glasses that he wore perched on the end of his nose for reading. ‘Do you think that entirely fair on Roxanne?’

  ‘Roxanne will not mind. She does not expect me to dance attendance on her all the time, sir.’

  ‘No, of course not. She made a bargain with you and she’ll stick to it, because she is honest and decent—but there’s no cause for you to treat her as if she were a doormat.’

  ‘I cannot think I have done so,’ Luke replied, stung by the accusation. ‘Roxanne has not complained to me—has she said something to you?’

  ‘She would not complain, but I’ve had the truth out of her. She told me after that fellow attacked Mr Higgins. The gel doesn’t know who she is or where she came from before Sofia found her. She’s afraid she stole that wretched ruby, but I don’t believe she’s a thief.’

  ‘Roxanne told you all this?’ Luke frowned, his mouth thinning. ‘Did she tell you everything?’

  ‘About the bargain you made to give me something to please me in my last days?’ The earl’s gaze narrowed. ‘I’d guessed some of it and I made her tell me the rest. Did you imagine I should be fooled, Luke? You haven’t been behaving like a man who has fallen head over heels. She’s a better actress than you—though I’m not so sure she’s acting now. She’s a tender-hearted woman, Luke—and I don’t want to see her hurt.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘If you’re doing this for my sake, perhaps you shouldn’t,’ the earl said. ‘I know I’ve pushed you towards marriage, but that girl means something to me. If you don’t love her, let her go and stop this masquerade before it’s too late. I’ll do something for her myself. Indeed, she is welcome to stay with me for the rest of my days if she chooses. You can go back to the life you enjoy. I know now that I was wrong to demand so much of you, Luke. It isn’t right to force you into marriage for my sake. I don’t want either of you to ruin your life for me. That gel cares about us both and I won’t see her hurt. If you marry her, make it a proper marriage and forget this foolish bargain.’

  ‘I think marriage to Roxanne would suit me well enough. It is no different to many marriages made for position or money. I doubt I shall ever fall in love or want to settle for domesticity. I’m a loner like my father. It wouldn’t be fair to make any woman love me, because I should hurt her.’

  ‘Your father may not have been what you think him,’ the earl said and sighed heavily. ‘This marriage and an heir before I die would make me happy, Luke—but I’ve been selfish too often in the past. I want both of you to be happy and I’m releasing you from your promise. If you marry her, let it be because it’s what you want.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’ Luke inclined his head stiffly. ‘I shall leave you to rest. You may be certain that I shall give this some thought.’

  Luke left his grandfather’s bedchamber, striding along the hall and down the stairs. He could feel the anger building inside him. Why hadn’t Roxanne told him that the earl knew everything? Why had she allowed him to think that she was still going through the motions of a make-believe marriage?

  She was in a plot with his grandfather to trap him into making this a proper marriage. Once his ring was on her finger there would be no going back. Luke could divorce her, but the scandal would be horrendous and he would never be able to face it. Hurting Roxanne would be like inflicting pain on himself. He’d meant it to be a simple arrangement with no ties on either side, but Roxanne had broken the terms of their agreement.

  He felt resentful and bitter, because she had taken his grandfather’s side against him. He could imagine them smiling over their plot, reeling him in like a fish on a line. How dare she talk about him behind his back?

  Luke knew that he was the one who had swept her off on a tide of passion on the night of the ball, but he was struggling to keep his head above water and only by transferring the blame could he justify his own reactions. He’d meant it to be the way it was when he took a mistress, passion and pleasure but no emotional entanglement. Roxanne had declared her love in the heat of desire and it had sent him running in a panic.

  He couldn’t handle love. Luke’s mouth was dry and his stomach was tying itself in knots. Love hurt too much. It was a black choking sensation that made small boys weep in the darkness and cry out for the mother they had lost. He wasn’t in love with Roxanne. He couldn’t love anyone. He was like his father. She had lied to him by keeping it secret that the earl knew of their bargain.

  Roxanne was in her favourite parlour. She was matching silks against a piece of embroidery she’d found somewhere, a look of such perfect content on her face that his fury broke loose in a torrent of bitter words.

  ‘How dare you lie to me?’ he demanded without preamble, ignoring the look of shock on her face. ‘Have you been plotting together—you and Grandfather? Did you laugh at how easy I was to fool?’

  ‘I have no idea what you mean? Why should I wish to lie to you—or to make a fool of you?’

  She rose slowly to her feet, looking as if he’d struck her. It was the way his mother had looked at his father so many times and it made Luke feel guilty. He struck out blindly, because he could not stand to feel her pain.

  ‘You did not tell me that you had confessed everything to him.’

  Roxanne’s cheeks burned. ‘Grandfather made me promise I would not tell you he knew. I could not keep it from him because he guessed a part of the whole and was angry. I thought he would send me away and I did not wish to leave.’

  ‘It suits you to live here as a grand lady, I suppose,’ Luke thundered, his expression one of fury and disgust. ‘You’ve been fooling us both, haven’t you? Laughing at us all the time. Who are you really? An adventuress out for what you can get? I fell right into your little trap, didn’t I? You played me so well, pretending to be reluctant and making me persuade you into marriage and giving me an heir. You must have been laughing at my gullibility all the time.’

  Roxanne was deadly white. He saw her hands shaking and knew that she was fighting her desire to weep, but his anger was so intense that he could not control it.

  ‘Have you nothing to say to me?’

  ‘I believe you have said it all,’ Roxanne murmured between stiff lips. ‘Excuse me. I think I must leave.’

  ‘I’ll save you the bother. I’m going to London.’

  Luke strode from the room. His temper carried him as far as the stables and then he suddenly felt all his energy seep away. Leaning against the wall, he discovered that tears were streaming down his cheeks and he could not stop them. A choking sob broke from him as he mumbled, ‘Roxanne, forgive me. Such a fool. I’m so sorry. So very sorry.’

  What had he done? He’d said such dreadful things to her. Terrible, cruel, wicked things that she did not deserve. He knew that she was not an adventuress, nor had she planned this for material gain. Yes, she was glad of a settled home, but she was prepared to give so much in return—all the things that he had lost when his mother died. All the things his soul craved and he feared. He was a craven coward and deserved a horsewhipping for the way he’d spoken to her.

  Roxanne would hate him. He had destroyed any feeling she had for him.

  She’d said she must leave. In his rage he hadn’t listened. Did she mean leave the room—or leave him? Go away for ever?

  He might never see her again. The thought sent such a wave of agony lashing through him that Luke groaned. He had not realised what he had and he’d cast it away without a second thought.

  Perhaps it wasn’t too late. If he went back now and begged her pardon on his knees, perhaps she would stay—if not for his sake, for his grandfather’s. She loved the earl. Surely she would not desert him?

  Luke strode towards the house. Pleas
e let him be in time. If she’d already gone, he would find her. He would find her and bring her back for the earl’s sake.

  Even now he was in denial. Even now he could not quite admit that he needed her, needed her more than he had ever believed possible.

  He had no right to care. He was not worthy of her love. He did not know how to love. She had the right to walk away if she chose, now that she knew him for what he was. His damnable temper and the way he hurt people—how could Roxanne ever love him?

  Roxanne had left the sealed note on the silver salver in the hall. Mrs Arlet would find it and deliver it to the earl later. It would hurt him, though she’d promised that she would return to see him if she could one day—one day when Luke was back in London and she would not have to see him or the lashing scorn in his eyes.

  How could Luke have said such things to her? Roxanne felt her throat tighten with pain. It hurt so much to know what he truly thought of her. How could he believe that she was pretending to care for the earl? He must know that she loved him. He must know that she loved them both so much that this was tearing her into shreds.

  She was carrying one small bundle, very similar in content to that she had taken when she left the camp of the travelling players. She’d had no choice but to take the gown she was wearing, some underclothes and a spare skirt and bodice, but the ring and necklace Luke had given her were left on the dressing table in her room.

  She had less money than when she’d fled from Black Bob. She’d had no need of money in the earl’s house and none had been offered to her. Instead, Luke or the earl had met all the bills for her clothes and anything else she needed was provided.

  She would need to find employment quite soon. Roxanne had packed her things, written her note and left in haste. She had not given a thought to what she would do in the future. Now she realised that she must begin working almost immediately. The ruby had gone and she was without friends. Her dream of becoming an actress must be put to one side for the moment. To eat and have a roof over her head, she must take any work that was offered.