COWBOY TAKES A WIFE, THE
Page 17
Her smile faded, however, when she realized she couldn’t avoid getting out of bed any longer. Though it made her a coward, she had to leave before he woke. She’d gone over it again and again in the wee hours and came to the conclusion that she simply wasn’t strong enough to say goodbye to him face-to-face. Better to sever the tie without all the awkwardness that would surely make its presence known on their final morningafter. Maybe it would be easier for him, as well. He wouldn’t have to explain why he’d professed his love the day before. He’d gone above and beyond to help her, something she could never repay. But she could start by giving him the easy way out.
She slipped from the bed and dressed, not even taking the time to hit the shower. She could use the extra key to Mandy’s place after Mandy went to work and shower there, anything to get her away from Cole before he woke up and she was in danger of losing her resolve to do the right thing.
However, she did take the time to write him a note. There was no way to say everything that was in her heart, but she wouldn’t leave him without even a word of profound thanks.
Tears filled her eyes as she folded the note, wrote his name on the outside, took a precious moment to run her fingertips over his name, and then propped the note against a flower vase on the kitchen island.
“Goodbye, Cole,” she whispered, then made her way quietly out the front door.
* * *
EVEN BEFORE HE opened his eyes, he could smell her, the unique scent of vanilla and woman that belonged to Devon alone. Beneath the sheet covering his lower half, certain parts of his anatomy sprang to life. He’d not been a monk by any stretch since he’d first lost his virginity back during high school, but he couldn’t recall ever having such an insatiable desire for a woman. Not even either of his wives. But Devon was different, someone he wouldn’t have ever paired himself with if anyone had asked but who had managed to effortlessly fill all the empty spaces in his life. In his heart.
And she’d told her mother that she loved him. Only days ago that revelation would have sent him fleeing. Truth was it still scared him more than a little, same as his own feelings for her. But the thought of letting her go was way worse.
Somewhere in the midst of their time together, he’d started falling for Devon. He could tell himself it was a bad idea all he wanted, but it wasn’t going to change the truth. Then there was the voice in his head telling him that this time it was different, that the third time really was the charm. It made sense in a way because Devon was nothing like Amy or Bridget. She was giving where they were selfish, kind while they were snappish, happy with a simple, rewarding life while his exes never had enough.
How had he been such a fool not only once but twice? That didn’t say great things about his intelligence. But when he looked at Devon, touched her, inhaled her scent, listened to her laugh, texted with her late at night, he felt as if he’d be a bigger fool if he let her go.
His mom was right. It hadn’t worked out with Amy or Bridget because they weren’t right for him. Everything had been leading him to Devon. But what if it didn’t work out? Even the thought of it twisted him into painful knots inside.
His thoughts went back to how his admission of his feelings had simply popped out during the argument with her mother. It was a terrible time and place to confess such a thing. Devon deserved something romantic instead. But the admission had burst forth from him without him even thinking about it, as if it could no longer be contained. And he’d been surprised afterward when he hadn’t wanted to call back the words. Even more surprised at how relieved and lighter he felt for having said them.
How would Devon react if he told her again, this time without her bitch of a mother watching and judging?
Perhaps it was time he found out.
He rolled over to discover that Devon wasn’t on the other side of the bed. When he lifted himself halfway and listened, he didn’t hear the shower or movement in the other parts of the house. Maybe she was outside checking on her animals. It hit him that normally he’d be out doing the same thing by now and that his mom was going to know exactly what happened since he didn’t come home the night before.
Cole ran a hand over his face, then slipped from the bed and pulled on his jeans. He headed for the front door but glanced toward the kitchen. A piece of paper with his name on it was sitting next to a flower vase. He smiled as he imagined her leaving some sort of sweet note for him to find, maybe inviting him outside for some more heat-filled kissing.
But when he opened the paper, it took only a moment to realize the note was something entirely different.
Cole,
I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, but I believe this will be easier for both of us. Thank you so much for all your help, for being such a good friend. You’ll never know how much it’s meant to me, how you did more than I could have ever expected. You’re a good man, and I wish you nothing but the best.
Devon
He dropped the paper, his insides suddenly hollow. He’d been a fool. Again.
* * *
THREE DAYS LATER, Cole stepped out of the bank to find Mandy waiting for him.
“Do you know where Devon is?”
After a momentary pause, he moved to step past her. “No.”
Mandy grabbed his arm with surprising strength. “What happened? Did you end things with her?”
He didn’t make eye contact, instead looking straight ahead. “You’ve got that backward.”
Her grip lessened but she didn’t let go. “I don’t understand.”
This time he did look down at her. “We both knew it would end. She ended it.” He heard way more hurt and anger in his voice than he cared to admit.
“Yeah, I’m going to need a bit more than that because I haven’t seen or heard from her in three days.”
Despite his anger, which was truthfully aimed more at himself for being three times the fool, a wave of concern hit him. “What do you mean? She’s not been to work?”
“No. She texted me that she was taking some time off, but she’s not responding to phone calls or texts.”
“She’s probably doing her hermit thing at home.”
Mandy was already shaking her head. “She’s not there. She asked me to take care of her animals until she got back.”
That concern in his middle ratcheted up a notch. He might be upset about how things had ended, but he’d yet to find the off switch for how he felt about Devon.
“Maybe she’s at her parents’ place.”
“You and I both know that’s the last place she’d go if she’s upset.”
He glanced around downtown, as if Devon might suddenly appear. Could she have been telling the truth when she’d told her mother she loved him? Over the past few days, he’d convinced himself it was just a really good act on her part. But what if it wasn’t?
“What happened?” Mandy asked.
Unwilling to air the details in the middle of the flow of people entering and exiting the bank, he walked toward where he’d parked. Mandy followed, probably wondering if he was going to leave without answering her question. When he reached his truck, he gripped the side of the bed and gave her the truncated version of events.
“Have you tried to reach her?” she asked.
“Yes. I called, texted. No answer. I figured that was my answer, that she doesn’t feel the way I do.”
“But she told her mother that she loved you.”
The tone of Mandy’s voice told him exactly how big of an idiot she thought he was, and in that moment, he was inclined to agree with her.
“I thought it was all part of the act for her mom.”
“You big dope, Devon has been in love with you almost from the beginning.”
“She never said that.”
“Of course not. You’d made it abundantly clear you were neve
r going to get married again. And despite the poor example she had growing up, Devon wants a husband and children. She wants the type of loving family she never had.”
He gripped the metal of the truck so hard that he wouldn’t be surprised if it buckled. “Where could she be?”
“I have no idea.”
If she was hurt somewhere, alone, he’d never forgive himself.
* * *
DEVON TOOK ONE more lingering look at Blue Falls Lake from the overlook before turning back toward her car. She’d been gone for a week, giving herself time to think, away from everything and everyone familiar. It had taken hours of sitting on the beach at North Padre, just listening to the waves and not having to speak to anyone or be responsible for anything for her to get her head back on straight. She’d considered making a move away from Blue Falls, but after several days of crying and wandering aimlessly, the truth had settled within her. Blue Falls was home, always would be. She’d just have to learn to cope with seeing Cole on occasion.
But hopefully not too soon. Despite the time away, her heart was still raw from that particular loss. And she had no one to blame but herself. Not even her mother. Devon had been the one to initiate the relationship, and now she had to live with the consequences.
When she slipped into the driver’s seat, she turned on her phone for the first time since she’d texted Mandy that she was taking some time off. Not surprisingly there were dozens of messages, mostly from Mandy. Her heart jolted when she saw a few from Cole. Not feeling up to reading or listening to any of them now, she tossed the phone back into her purse and headed toward home.
Even though she hadn’t worked in a week, an overwhelming fatigue hit her as she approached her house. But a jolt of adrenaline hit her when she spotted Cole’s truck parked in her driveway. What was he doing here? She considered turning around and leaving again, but she’d already taken the coward’s way out with him once. She wouldn’t do it again.
But she didn’t have a chance to prepare what she was going to say to him because as soon as she stepped out of the car, he strode toward her from the barn. He dropped a bucket of milk, letting it spill down the hillside behind him. His long legs ate up the space between them faster than she could form coherent thoughts.
“Cole—” It was all she got out before he pulled her into his arms and held her close.
“Thank God you’re all right.”
For a moment, she couldn’t pull away. It felt too good to have his arms around her, something she hadn’t expected to ever feel again. But the longer she let him hug her, the harder it would be to step back. So she extricated herself.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
“Taking care of your animals.”
“I asked Mandy to do that.”
“She has been, but I told her I’d help since she’s also been running the store alone.”
A shard of guilt stabbed Devon. She had a lot of apologizing to do to her best friend.
“She’s been worried sick about you,” Cole said. “So have I. Where have you been?”
“I needed some time off.”
“Suddenly, the morning after I said I loved you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand why you’re upset. I know you were helping me out with Mom. I—”
He closed the gap between them again and gripped her shoulders, not hard but firm. “What I said was the truth, every bit of it. And I’ll say it again. I love you.”
“But you said you didn’t want...” She shook her head, unwilling to hope that he was telling the truth.
Cole slipped one of his hands up to cup her cheek. “I changed my mind.” His other hand came up to the opposite side of her face. “You changed my mind.” He ran a thumb across her cheek.
Her mind spun until she felt dizzy. Was this really happening? “I can’t handle it if you change your mind again.”
He smiled. “I won’t. I couldn’t even stop loving you when you disappeared and I thought it had all been an act to you. But I need to know for sure, do you feel the same? Did you mean what you told your mom?”
She stared up at him, her insides quaking. “Yes.” It came out as a whisper, but it evidently was enough because Cole pulled her close and kissed her like he couldn’t get enough of her.
Devon had just started to kiss him back when he scooped her up into his arms and carried her toward the house. She yelped in surprise.
“What are you doing?”
“Showing you just how much I love you.”
And this time, she wasn’t going to run away.
* * *
DEVON’S SENSES SLOWLY woke one by one, as if they were being gradually turned on via switches. First hearing as she heard a bird chirping away outside and the white noise that came from living in an electrified world. Touch. Her body felt used, but in a good way. Memories of making love with Cole, the way he’d made her feel as if he worshipped everything about her, including her body, came into focus in her mind, making her smile. Yes, a very good way. She rolled over, expecting to find the warmth of one incredibly sexy man next to her. But all she encountered was emptiness.
Sight. Her eyelids lifted to reveal the truth, causing an ache to bloom in her chest. The opposite side of the bed was rumpled and she could smell his distinctive male scent lingering in the air, but Cole was gone. She pushed away the instinctive panic. There was no way he had faked what they’d shared. She hated the tiny ember of doubt that refused to be extinguished.
After dressing in a loose pair of cotton lounge pants and a T-shirt, then brushing her teeth, she made her way out to the kitchen. Still no Cole. Was this how he’d felt when he’d awakened to find she’d left him? Guilt stung her like a swarm of bees.
Some sound she wasn’t used to hearing drew her attention outside. As she walked toward the front door, she realized it was a voice. She stepped out onto the front porch and immediately spotted Cole in the pasture with the goats and sheep. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the apparent one-sided conversation he was having with them.
A peaceful feeling of warmth and rightness drifted through her. Though Cole looked at home on his ranch, he appeared comfortable here, as well. For a few moments, she allowed herself to imagine waking up every morning knowing that Cole was either lying next to her or nearby.
As she made her way toward him, she let her gaze wander over his tall, powerful frame. He might not be able to ride bulls anymore, but Cole was still strong, still every inch a desirable man. Her skin heated at the memory of his body moving over and within her the night before. She’d imagined making love to him before they’d taken their relationship to that level, but all those daydreams didn’t even approach reality.
He must have heard her because he turned to look in her direction and smiled. “Look who finally woke up.”
She lifted a brow, causing him to smile even wider.
“I didn’t expect to find you talking to the animals when I got up,” she said.
He scratched between the ears of Gertrude, one of the goats. “They’re very good listeners.”
“That right? Now I’ve got to hear what fascinating topic you and the critters were conversing about.”
Cole walked toward her, stopping on the opposite side of the fence, close enough to lean forward to kiss her if he wanted.
“You,” he said.
“Oh yeah? Do they have demands and you’re their representative?”
He chuckled. “No, I was asking for some advice.”
“From goats and sheep?”
He shrugged. “They were handy. And they let me talk without interrupting.”
A slight inflection in his voice, in the way he was looking at her, told her something was going on behind his teasing.
She took a couple of steps back as Cole climbed over the fence. He
r breath grew shaky as he erased the distance between them.
His lips tipped up slightly at the edges as he reached to cup her jaw and run his thumb across her bottom lip. “What I told your mother was one hundred percent true, all of it. I won’t lie and say I came here planning to tell you that I love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but when I said the words they felt righter than anything I’ve ever said.”
Cole lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss felt like a pledge that the things he’d said were true, from his heart.
“Are you sure?” she asked against his lips.
He stepped back from her but didn’t break the contact between them. With her hands clasped in his, he slowly eased himself to one knee in front of her. A whimper of surprise escaped her, and he squeezed her hands gently in response.
“I didn’t think I’d ever want to marry again, but my mom was right. She said it didn’t work out before because I hadn’t found the right woman. Now I have.”
“How do you know that? Maybe all the pretending has you confused.”
He was already shaking his head before she finished speaking.
“I’ve never been more positive about anything.” He pulled something from his jeans pocket, something small and circular. “I will get you a real one if you’d rather have it, but I made this while you were gone. I kept hoping I’d have a chance to give it to you.” He held up a ring made of two pieces of wire intertwined like vines with tiny metal flowers attached. How had his big hands made something so delicate?
“Will you marry me, Devon Newberry?”
She stared down at him, her heart beating fast and hard. “Tell me I’m not dreaming this.”
Cole smiled up at her. “Would it be a good or bad dream?”
“Good. Very good.” She slipped one of her hands free of his and let her fingers drift along the edge of his face, trying to convince herself that he was real and this wasn’t a dream. “Yes.”