“That’s not your choice to make,” I replied sternly. He nodded and sighed in agreement. I got up for a moment and grabbed one of his hand towels, running it under cold water, and handing it to him.
“I love her. I do; I love her so much. I just want her to get better and that was the only way I could of doing it,” he explained taking the hand towel from me and holding it to his mouth.
“Where did you get the money from?” I asked him curiously.
“Thomas. I saw him outside of Violet’s wake and I remembered him slightly from when we were kids. I approached him and told him how fucked up Jude is and he gave me the money to help her. That’s why I didn’t get inside until the last five minutes, by the way.”
I sat back against the bathtub and stretched my legs out in front of me. I looked up at the fluorescent light in the middle of his bathroom ceiling. Jeremy didn’t know it, but Thomas had called me after Violet’s burial and told me he’d give me fifty thousand dollars to help Jude anyway that I could. He told me that if she was as fucked up as Jeremy told her she was, then the best way to help her would be to institutionalize her for the rest of her life, but I couldn’t do that to her. I’d never lock her up over something she had no control over.
“Did you apologize to her?” I asked keeping my eyes on the light. I secretly hoped that staring at it long enough would take my vision away from me so that I wouldn’t have to see anymore ugliness in the world.
“Yeah. Then she jumped me, man. I could never hit her back, so I let her take her crazy rage out on me. She’s a hell of a lot stronger than I gave her credit for,” he said with an amused laugh. “Fuck. Ouch.”
I turned my head slightly to look at him. I wanted to believe that he got what he deserved but it would also mean accepting how fucked my family was. Two dead parents that cared about us as much as they cared for each other. A sister who had been sexually abused and held the secret inside for ten years. A brother who hired someone to kill her and end her pain. A cousin who—
“We’ve gotta go. Now,” I said, springing to my feet.
“I can’t really walk right now,” he replied.
Turning around in the doorway I gave him a sharp look. “Did you know that Bobby molested Jude that month and a half we stayed at his house? No? Me either. I found out by reading her diary. She’s got him right now in one of Thomas’ old abandoned factories and she’s gonna kill him. We’ve gotta stop her.”
Jeremy pushed himself to his feet after a struggle and looked at me with serious eyes.
“Why didn’t she say anything?”
“Because he made her promise. She was twelve when it happened. We’ve gotta get back there before she does it,” I said turning on my heel and speed walking toward the front door.
“Why? If he did it, he fucking deserves what’s coming to him.”
“Yeah, well you know that guy that you hired to kill her? I’m pretty sure she won’t stop at Bobby. I have a weird feeling that she’s gonna kill him too because they look so much alike. Bobby deserves it; Adam doesn’t.”
With my brother staggering his steps by my side, we made our way out of his house and toward my car. I put the car in drive and pressed my foot as hard on the gas pedal as I could. We had to get to Jude before she killed Bobby. It would be the only way to save Adam. There had to be a different way to save her from her nightmare and I only prayed that I would have it figured out by the time we got there.
Eighteen
Jude
Adam held me against him and told me that for every woman that couldn’t get their revenge like I did, that I would be considered their hero. Even though they would never know what had been done here, deep down inside I could take pride in knowing that I had saved them all in some way.
I smiled at the thought. Once the rage had finally subsided and the little scared girl inside of me ran back to her dark corner of my soul, I smiled. It was wrong to take joy in the destruction of another; that’s what a normal person would have you believe. But was it wrong in my instance? Where I finally destroyed the one thing that had murdered my spirit ten years ago?
I didn’t care honestly. The world would never know what Bobby Taylor had done to me but I would always know that I finally made him pay for it; that was enough for me.
“Holy shit!”
I pulled away from Adam and turned to face the door. I don’t know how I managed to see past Bobby but I did. I assumed it to be what was left of me as a human being, blocking out the limp body with a crushed skull to keep my mind as safe as it could.
It was Ethan and Jeremy. They were both standing inside the factory, the door open wide behind them looking at us in disbelief. Ethan broke out of his state of shock first and pulled the door closed. He grabbed Jeremy by the arm and helped him make his way to where Bobby was still strapped to his chair.
“Come here, Jude,” Ethan commanded, holding his hand up toward me. I could tell he was trying to fight the urge to look at the stump that used to be Bobby’s head.
I stepped away from Adam and made my way to my brother’s outstretched hand, taking it firmly. I looked at him for approval that I had done what he couldn’t do and felt myself stiffen when his gaze became stern.
“This isn’t what you said you were going to do. How are we going to clean up this mess without getting caught?”
His tone was harsh, reminiscent of a father figure, who was scolding a child that had just been caught behaving badly.
“I know a guy,” Adam said from behind us. I turned and stared at him. The uncomfortable look on his face told me that my brothers were also staring at him. “What? I was into some hard shit for a while. You gotta have somebody who can bail you out of anything on speed dial.”
I raised an eyebrow. I wondered what else Adam had been into that he knew someone to clean this shit up.
“Okay. Call him,” Ethan said with a nod.
“Well, hold on. He doesn’t work for free,” Adam replied. “Money talks with this guy.”
“You’ve easily got one hundred thousand dollars coming to you, don’t you?” I asked loudly. “I’m pretty sure my brothers owe you some cash.”
I turned my eyes to Jeremy whose face finally clouded with understanding. Now he knew why I had went into his home and beat him as viciously as I did. My eyes wandered to Ethan next who was looking away in shame. Even though he hadn’t contracted Adam to put me down like Jeremy had, he still seemed to look like he was hurt by what he had done to me.
“Call him,” Ethan said again. “We’ll pay him when it’s over.”
Adam nodded and retrieved the cell phone I didn’t even know he had on him from his pocket. It made me curious as to why he hadn’t called the police when he had me held down as a prisoner. He could’ve ended it right then and there and he didn’t. Why?
I’d ask him soon enough. For now, I wanted to revel in the fact that I had done what I had struggled to do for my entire life. I had stood up to my own personal monster, and I had fucking won.
“Do you feel better?” Ethan asked me quietly as Adam started to talk on his phone.
“Yes. I feel fucking immaculate, Ethan. I can’t explain the feeling of knowing that it’s actually over because I did it. Are you proud of me?” I asked eagerly.
He nodded. I couldn’t tell if he it was because he was really proud of me or because he wanted to placate me. I didn’t think I was a threat to anyone anymore, but Ethan obviously didn’t seem to think so.
“Good for you, kid,” Jeremy suddenly said. “But if you would’ve told us, we would’ve taken care of this a long time ago.”
I leaned against Ethan’s chest and stared at Jer. It was what my eldest brother had said to me already, but I always knew that I would have to do it myself to feel completely safe again.
“You’re proud of me too?” I asked timidly.
Jeremy nodded, “I’m sorry too, by the way. I ... Thomas gave me the money to help you and I just didn’t know how else to do it. I don’t expect you
to forgive me, Jude; ever. But I also don’t want you to think that I ever loved you any less.”
I blinked rapidly to keep the tears back. Ethan put his arm around me, giving me a gentle squeeze, as Jeremy stood there awaiting my response.
“I forgive you,” I replied quietly.
He let out a sigh of relief and gave me as much of a smile as he could muster. “You got one hell of a swing, Jude.”
I returned his smile with trembling lips and pressed the side of my face deeper into Ethan’s chest. Even now, as a full grown adult, I found my safety in the arms of my oldest brother when I couldn’t find it in myself.
“I’ll tell you this much. Violet would have finally been proud of you for sticking to your guns. You know, with that the whole ‘an eye for an eye’ thing,” he said with a laugh.
“Oh, fuck Violet,” Jeremy grumbled.
I smiled and pulled myself away from Ethan to give my other brother a hug. I was glad that even though in the past he had said he felt the way we did about our parents, he finally said how he felt. And it was when I needed him to say it the most.
Jeremy returned my hug as best as he could, wincing a few times and sucking in his breath, so I made the hug quick. I loved him to death and I had no intention of hurting him when I went to his home. I just lost it, I guess, and I wanted him to feel the pain I felt when I found out what he had intended for me.
“Alright, he said he’ll be here in an hour,” Adam announced, breaking into my thoughts. “You guys need to have that money by the time he gets here though. He said he’s taking the payment up front and he’s bringing his cleaning squad with him, whatever the hell that means.”
I took a deep breath and walked to the back wall of the factory and sat down. The three of them watched me carefully, but I closed my eyes and waited for the mysterious man that would come and erase my nightmare from the face of the Earth.
Nineteen
Ethan returned thirty minutes later. He was soaked and bitching about a sudden thunderstorm that had broken out while he was gone. I guess I had fallen asleep, because his raised voice jolted me more than it should have.
He handed Adam a backpack and the three of them became engrossed in conversation. I closed my eyes again as I slid down on the hard floor. I stretched myself out on the floor and yawned, hoping I’d be able to sleep through the entire cleaning process.
A few hours later I woke up again. Ethan, Jeremy, and Adam were sitting on the floor in front of me talking amongst themselves. Adam was the first to notice that I was finally awake and he grinned at me.
“Hey you. It’s about time you woke up,” he teased cheerfully.
“Why did you guys let me sleep so long?” I asked groggily.
“Because you did your part Jude and we did ours,” Ethan said, turning his head to the factory space behind him.
I rubbed my eyes tiredly and pushed myself up to a seated position. I yawned again before I craned around my brother to see what he meant.
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
The entire spot behind him, where I had annihilated Bobby a few hours before, was spic and span. It was almost as if nothing had happened.
“Think we should get out of here, now?” Adam asked. “I’ve been in this damn place long enough.”
I nodded and got to my feet with Ethan’s help. I didn’t know what had been done to make this place as clean as it was and I didn’t dare ask either. I honestly and finally just wanted to go home.
The three of us walked out of the factory and piled into Ethan’s car. He slid the key in the ignition and turned it on, the engine roaring to life as he put the car in drive. I wasn’t sure where he was taking us; I assumed he would be making four stops. Adam’s place, Jeremy’s place, my place, and his.
Of course I was wrong. He stopped at Jeremy’s place first and told him he’d be in touch with him in the morning. Since I had been sitting behind him, I reached around the back of the seat and hugged my middle brother as tightly as I could and whispered a gentle I’m sorry into his ear. The chuckle and pat on the arm he gave me told me that he really had forgiven me after all.
“See ya later, bro!” he said to Ethan as he climbed out of the car and grunted in pain.
“Think I should send him flowers or something?” I asked as we watched him stagger into his house.
“Flowers? For a beating like that? No, I think you should send him one of those telegram nurses or something that take care of their patients in every sense of the word,” Adam suggested with a laugh.
“You want me to send my brother a prostitute?” I asked in confusion. Ethan and Adam both laughed as I leaned back against the seat wondering if that would be the better of the two options after all.
“Yeah. Maybe,” I said more to myself than them.
“What a wonderful way to say ‘I’m sorry’”, Ethan teased.
I glanced at Adam who was seated next to me with a grin on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him and his grin widened.
“You’re next, Jude,” Ethan said, pulling away from Jeremy’s home.
I nodded, dropped my chin in my hand, and glanced out the window. I didn’t know why it was that I felt so normal all of a sudden. I had just murdered a man, one that deserved it, and it felt like another day in the life of Jude McIntyre. But I had a feeling my life would change now. It had too; the boogey man was gone.
“Wanna sleep over?” I asked, turning to look at Adam.
He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. The one he could raise and a slow smile started to crease his lips.
“Is this something you should be asking me in front of the Hulk, over there?” he asked quietly, jerking his head toward Ethan.
I rolled my eyes, “Ethan, Adam’s staying at my place, okay?”
“Okay,” he replied with a nod.
I gave Adam a look as if to say, he’s not as scary as he likes to act, and leaned back against the seat again. I wasn’t exactly sure what the hell I was going to do with Adam when I got him back to my place.
He can have the room since I like sleeping on the couch. I’ll make sure the coffee is ready to go at the bush of a button in the morning and we can watch movies till I fall asleep, I guess.
Ten minutes later Ethan slowed the car down in front of my apartment building and I pushed my door open. I walked around the front of the car while Adam climbed out and tapped on the window of my brother’s door.
“Thank you,” I whispered leaning in to hug him, once he had rolled it down. “I knew you’d save me one day.”
“You saved yourself, little girl, and I couldn’t be prouder of you,” he whispered back, returning my hug.
Tears stung my eyes, but for once they weren’t bitter and cold. They were tears of happiness; someone in my life finally told me that they were proud of me without needing to be asked if they were.
“I love you, Jude,” he whispered before he pulled away.
“I love you too, Ethan,” I said, blowing him a kiss and then turning and running up my apartment steps.
Twenty
We hadn’t been inside for more than twenty minutes when I was already half asleep on the couch. I had given Adam some of Ethan and Jeremy’s stuff to change into so he would be comfortable while he slept and I had been laid on the couch, in a pair of black basketball shorts and a fitted white tank top. I was still tired, exhausted from the past few days events and I just wanted to sleep.
Adam had been sitting on the end of the couch with my feet propped up onto his legs. I had woken myself up a few times from snoring and each time I was more embarrassed than the last.
“Sorry,” I mumbled for about the fourth time.
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied with a laugh. “The last few days have been brutal. I didn’t expect anything, if that’s what you were worried about.”
“I wasn’t worried about anything,” I mumbled. For once in my life, that was true; I wasn’t worried about anything. I knew that I could erase the memory of Bobby no
w as easily as I would be able to erase the last remaining pieces of my puzzle.
I yawned again and shifted my body so that I was facing the back of the couch. I usually fell asleep with the television on and I hoped that Adam would be able to peel himself off of the couch without waking me up.
Adam gently ran his hand up and down my calf as my eyes began to flitter. I couldn’t fucking fall asleep if he was going to do that and I started to get a weird sensation from it.
I wiggled my leg rapidly to get him to stop, but he only chuckled and continued his movements.
“Stop or I’ll drop a heel right onto your balls,” I warned tiredly.
He laughed and moved his hand away. I sighed and closed my eyes, only to feel Adam’s hand on my leg again. With a grunt, I rolled myself onto my back, and propped myself up on my elbows.
“What’s your problem, Currently Single?” I asked in annoyance.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing it again,” he replied with a grin.
I rolled my eyes and shifted on the couch so that I was lying on my side again, face to the back. I was so tired and having Adam still sitting on the couch was messing with my head in the weirdest way. The only men I ever had on my bed, so to speak, were my brothers and there was obviously nothing inappropriate going on there.
“Can I ask you something?” Adam asked, shifting himself on the couch, so that he had one leg on.
“If you must,” I replied, slightly muffled by the pillow I had under my head.
“Remember when you said you knew we’d love each other before this was all over? It’s over now, isn’t it?”
I opened my eyes and looked at the threads of the couch. I could almost make each individual one out from how close I was to it, and not a damn one of them told me that this was over.
“No,” I replied truthfully. “This is far from over.”
“What do you mean?” he asked nervously.
“Not you,” I said with a laugh.
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