FOR HIS EYES ONLY

by Candace Irvin

  You just didn't.

  She sighed again.

  "Bad day, huh?"

  "You could say that."

  "Cheer up, it can only get better."

  Wanna bet?

  Karin leaned close and studied her stitches for a few moments, whistling as she settled back. "Damn, I'm good."

  "Modest, too."

  She stuck out her tongue. "Just for that, I'm not going to fork over your gift."

  Gift? Jade perked up. That's right. It was her birthday. How could she have forgotten? Maybe today wasn't going to be a bust after all. She stuck out her hand and smiled.

  "Too late, you owe me. I just spent the last twenty minutes listening to Dillon whine about how he had to pull my watch last night because you wouldn't let me on the bridge."

  Her hopes rose as Karin pulled a package that looked a lot like a CD box out of her center drawer and slid it across the desk. "Will it help if I tell you part two of the gift is dinner when we get back in port?"

  "Yup." She straightened, smiling at the neon pink bow. "If that's what I think it is, I'm going to have to kiss you."

  Karin laughed. "I think you'd better hang on to your kisses. Someone else might want to claim them later."

  Jade didn't have the heart to tell her how far off course she was. Even if she wasn't, there was no way she was falling for that man's tricks again. At least Jeff had the decency to be aboveboard about everything.

  She still couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. Step one, get on board. Step two, get close to Jade. Step three— "Don't hold your breath."

  She hadn't realized she'd said the words aloud until Karin shook her head. "I don't know, Reese seemed awfully eager to usurp my bedside duties last night."

  True. But it was all just part of the master plan, wasn't it? And it still smarted. "What's your point?"

  "My, my, we're awfully testy today. What's wrong? Didn't get enough sleep last night?"

  As a matter of fact, no.

  "What happened?"

  "Nothing." Nothing she could talk about, anyway.

  Jade started as Karin reached over and pressed her fingers into her wrist and glanced at her watch, obviously taking her pulse. "What are you doing?"

  She grinned. "Just verifying your story. Last time you said nothing happened, he laid a twenty on you."

  Jade flushed and tugged her wrist away. She snatched up the present, making a point of staring at it while she untied the bow and peeled off the paper.

  Karin laughed. "Chicken."

  She wadded up the wrapping paper and pelted it at her. "Vulture."

  She laughed harder. "At least I'm moving up on the evolutionary scale. Last night, I was a vampire."

  "Yeah, well, you were a bit too ghoulish stitching me up. So, am I cleared to stand the bridge watch tonight?"

  "I don't know. I think you could use another full night's sleep."

  Jade gripped the jazz CD and kept her voice light. "Afraid it's not gonna happen. I've got a drill I need to run later tonight."

  "Postpone it."

  She shrugged lightly. "Can't. Tonight's the last night I can run it before we head back into port." Another lie.

  "So, do it during the day tomorrow."

  "Karin, please?"

  Her blue eyes narrowed. "All right, what's going on?"

  Trust me, you don't want to know. She strove for innocence. "What makes you think anything's going on?"

  "Gee, dunno. Maybe it's the fact that you just turned down an offer for sleep when you're so tired you can barely sit up straight—or maybe it's that you're holding the very CD in your hands you've been waiting for months to be released and you haven't even said thanks."

  She flushed. "Thanks."

  "You're welcome. Now, do I get the rest?"

  Jade stared her down, not trusting herself to open her mouth. Karin was right, she was bushed—and her nerves were shot to boot. Not to mention the throbbing ache that had taken up residence beneath the stitches again following Reese's confession. She kept her mouth shut. There was no telling what might come out.

  "Guess not." Karin drummed her fingers on the desk. "Can you honestly tell me you're up to driving the ship tonight?"

  "If I take a nap." At least that was the truth.

  Karin sighed. "Okay. If you take a nap now, I'll let the captain give you the keys to the ship and you can stay out late."

  "Thanks!" She shot up out of the chair and headed for the door before her friend could change her mind, catching Karin's response just before it closed behind her.

  "Now that was the reaction I wanted from the CD."

  * * *

  "Hey, Mack, wait up!"

  Reese glanced down the passageway outside the wardroom. He'd know that shock of strawberry blond anywhere. He stopped and waited for Lieutenant Coffey to catch up.

  "Where're you going?"

  Reese jerked his head toward the ladder. "To catch a little shut-eye. Why?"

  Coffey grinned and palmed him something. "Great. You'll need this. Tonight's the night."

  Damn! In light of everything that had happened last night—and the fact that he hadn't gotten more than an hour's sleep—he'd forgotten all about the mutilated dummy. Which meant he'd also forgotten the date.

  Jade's birthday.

  He glanced down at the contents of his palm and stiffened. A key? He forced himself to relax as he slipped it into his coverall pocket. "Where'd you come by this?"

  Greg grinned. "Dillon. But don't tell Jade, she'll blow a gasket."

  The heck with her, he was going to blow one. Dillon had a key to Jade's stateroom? And perhaps his as well? Motive, means and opportunity? He wasn't sure he'd have the patience to wait until tonight to get into the NSF—he wanted in now.

  Reese headed down the passageway, hoping to draw Coffey along for a little one-on-one interrogation disguised as conversation. He kept his voice light, "So, Jade tells me you two go way back."

  Greg laughed and crossed his index fingers as if warding off evil spirits. "Oh, no, Jade already ripped me a new one for mentioning Jeff. You want to know the details, ask her."

  That wasn't the information he was after. But as long as they were on the topic, he might as well delve into it.

  Purely for professional reasons, of course.

  Jade had agreed to be his link to the NSF. It stood to reason he should learn all he could about her. Any allusion to a budding relationship between them could only solidify his cover. He waited until they'd climbed the ladder and headed down the narrow corridor to Coffey's stateroom. "I understand. But can you at least tell me how serious they were?"

  Coffey stopped at his door and shook his head. "Sorry, buddy, not even that." He held up a hand. "Don't get me wrong. I like you—but Jade? She's more than my frat sister, she was my pledge sister. We joined the Praetorian Guard together. And we saved each other's hide more than a few times during the years that followed. Understand?"

  Yeah, he understood. He was jealous as hell, but he understood. "I got it."

  Coffey unlocked his door and then turned back. "Good. There's just one more thing. Jade likes you. You know it and I know it. But what you may not know is that if you hurt her, I'm gonna hunt you down and feed you to the fishes." He smiled. "In pieces."

  Reese grinned back. "What makes you so sure she's not going to hurt me?"

  Coffey laughed at that. "True enough. I could tell you stories that would—"

  The shrill whistle proceeding every underway announcement piped over the 1MG. "Lieutenant Coffey, please dial seven, zero, zero, zero" followed it.

  Coffey groaned. "The Captain. There goes my nap." He snapped his door shut and relocked it. "See ya later."

  Reese returned the wave and headed down to his own room. He didn't need access to Coffey's cabin tonight. He'd already taken it upon himself to pick the lock twice already. Unfortunately, he hadn't turned up anything.

  In Dillon's, either.

  * * *

  Jade stared up at Reese
, her knuckles still in mid-knock as he opened his door and ushered her inside.

  "You're late."

  "Sorry, Mom, I got held up." She knew something was wrong when he frowned. Usually he was flip. "What is it?"

  He pulled a key from his pocket and held it up for her inspection. "It's a gift from Coffey."

  She tugged her new ball cap off and laid it on his desk, rubbing the skin above her stitches as she glanced back at the distinctive metal scroll on the head of the key. "I don't get it, why would Greg give you the key to his stateroom?"

  "It doesn't open his door, it opens yours."

  An uneasy shiver swept through her. "Karin doesn't even have my key."

  He slapped it on the desk beside the red cap. "Well, Dillon did. Apparently, Coffey got it off him."

  Dillon had her key? The chill reached her chest and rattled against it. "I'm going to kill that SOB."

  "Stand in line. First, tonight—is it a go?"

  She nodded, a yawn smacking into her as she switched gears. She stifled the tail end of it and rubbed the back of her neck. Filling Reese in could take a while. She'd better sit down before she fell down.

  She turned to his rack—and burst out laughing. The NSF dummy corpse was laid out on the green blanket, propped up against the pillow, its errant eye flopping down its cheek. Someone had pulled the blackened, shredded hands together and secured them around a bunch of silk daffodils.

  Daffodils?

  She turned back to Reese, still chuckling.

  The side of his mouth quirked at her sick humor. "Glad you like it. I was supposed to stash it in your rack tonight. Coffey's idea of a present."

  She glanced back at the dummy. That explained the daffodils—she had a feeling her personnel record wasn't that detailed.

  Reese cupped her chin and drew her attention back to him. "By the way, happy birthday. Twenty-six, right?"

  She nodded, willing herself to ignore the heat in his palm and in his eyes. "Thanks."

  "I'd like to take you out to celebrate when we pull in."

  She tugged her chin from his grasp and smiled brightly. "Sure. Karin just said the same thing. We can all go."

  He reclaimed her chin, this time stroking a thumb across her bottom lip as he leaned down. "I offered to take you—not Karin. Just you."

  The words hovered between them, suspended by the unmistakable meaning burning in his gaze. She wanted to move, but she couldn't. She wanted to glance away, but she didn't. She wanted him to kiss her, but she shouldn't. Surely Reese knew he didn't have to pretend anymore? That she'd help him without the lies and the subterfuge?

  Obviously not. Or maybe he didn't believe it. In either case, his gaze didn't waver so she finally answered. "Maybe."

  She clenched her fingers as he lowered his head the rest of the way and softly pressed his lips to hers. But before she had a chance to think, to argue, or even to close her eyes—he pulled back, his gaze deepening to cobalt as he withdrew. She wanted desperately to believe desire caused it.

  And then she knew it had as he slid his thumb back over her bottom lip, his finger not quite steady this time. Neither was his voice as he whispered, "Happy birthday."

  Oh, God, she could not handle this. She couldn't handle the feelings slamming against the dam she'd painstakingly built around her heart. Once again, Reese had her thinking of things that could never be—making her want them, dream about them. And it wasn't fair. It wouldn't work.

  It couldn't. She blinked, trying to clear her head. Damn, where was her father's advice when she really needed it?

  Sorry, Missy. You're on your own. Your mother would kill me if I interfered now.

  She hadn't realized her hand had slipped up to her neck until her fingers dipped beneath her khaki uniform. She snagged the chain beneath her T-shirt and held on for dear life. She did not want this. She couldn't. She'd cut those desires out of her heart and mind a long time ago.

  She nearly jumped out of her boots when Reese closed his hand over hers and pulled the necklace out the rest of the way. The jade pendant dangled between them, her swirling emotions still tangled and meshed with the chain, along with her fingers.

  Reese stared into Jade's smoky gaze as he cupped the heart with his free hand. He smoothed his fingers over it, wishing he could erase the fear and uncertainty from her eyes. He was certain that's what he saw—fear.

  And it baffled him.

  It also had him curious as hell. What could possibly put that look in this woman's eyes? The same woman who faced fires and four-thousand-pound screaming forklifts with cool control and iron confidence? "There's a story behind this, isn't there?"

  There was.

  Maybe it was the cornered look that joined the fear. Or maybe it was the knowledge that, as obviously cherished as the necklace was, it was not meant for public display. He gently disengaged the chain from her fingers and looped it around his own, deliberately staking his claim. She was trapped, inches from him—whether she wanted to be there or not. "Why do you keep it hidden?"

  She blinked, and then recovered. "I'm in uniform."

  The excuse was a little too pat. And he wasn't falling for it. She wasn't his father. He knew that now. "So why hide it when you're not?"

  Her eyes narrowed slightly.

  Careful.

  "How would you know that? You've only seen me in my uniform." She flushed and corrected herself before he could. "And my robe."

  Her hoarse admission stoked the sizzling memory, held at bay but never dormant. Desire flared with it. He choked back a groan as both threatened to incinerate him on the spot.

  No.

  Now was not the time for that. He took a deep breath and, somehow, managed to douse the inferno within him. "Lucky guess." He tugged the chain gently. "Continue."

  He didn't think she would, but then she shrugged, almost defiantly. "It's no secret. The necklace was my mother's. I guess you could call it my namesake. It was a gift from my father when they were dating."

  No, it was more than that. He could tell by the way she jerked it from his hand and shoved it back inside her uniform. By the way she picked up her ball cap and wrapped her fingers around the scarlet fabric—tightly—as she edged away. The way she couldn't quite meet his eyes.

  And that bothered him most of all.

  He wasn't proud of it, but it made him press. "If it's just a necklace, why hide it?"

  She slumped down onto his rack, shoving the dummy aside to make room. "You wouldn't understand."

  "Ah, the Navy again." Damn, that came out stronger than he'd intended. He slapped the irritation back. Now wasn't the time for that, either.

  "No." She stared at him for a few moments, obviously wrestling with the denial in her eyes and on her lips. And then she sighed. "Maybe." She massaged the spot between her brows. "All right, it was more than a gift." Reaching over, she plucked the yellow flowers from the dummy's hands and leaned back against the bulkhead. "It's a long story."

  He dragged his desk chair to the bed backward and sat down, resting his arms and chin on the back. "I've got time."

  He wasn't fooled by that tiny smile—she was still tugging at the flowers. "My mother was nineteen and still living at home when my parents met. To hear Dad tell it, he strolled into my grandparent's restaurant one night with a couple of guys off the ship and it was love at first sight. But my grandfather didn't trust sailors."

  He smiled back at her. "So how'd he convince your grandfather he was serious?"

  "He didn't." She laughed at his surprise.

  The pure, husky sound nipped a hole through his stomach and began gnawing his resolve. He multiplied out his twelves and took another deep breath. He was safe. As long as she kept her fingers on those damn flowers and out of her hair.

  "Well, not at first, anyway. Dad returned the next night without his buddies and took a table at the entrance so he could watch my mother work. She was the hostess. But that didn't work, either."

  He lifted a brow.

  She smi
led. "Granddaddy was stubborn." Another smile. "But so was Dad. He just came back again the following weekend. And then again and again. For six months he dined at that table, every Saturday night, except when he had duty—and then he came on Friday. But that still didn't work."

  "You're kidding." He hoped her father wasn't that tough. Damn, where did that come from?

  "But then one Saturday he came in and told my mom in front of her parents that his ship was deploying. He asked them to save his table—he'd be back. Six months later, he was." She tugged the necklace out over her uniform and held up the jade heart. "And he brought this. He gave it to Mom in front of Granddaddy and asked her out again."

  "And this time he said yes."

  She chuckled. "He had to. My mother and grandmother were ready to kill him. Anyway, they married six months later."

  Reese smiled even as the envy seized him. What he wouldn't give for a story like that in his background. To know with certainty that his father loved his mother more than some lousy chunk of iron and steel, than the damn gold braid on his uniform. Didn't she realize how lucky she was? She couldn't possibly—or she wouldn't keep the necklace hidden.

  Or maybe there was more here than she was letting on? She'd told him it was a commissioning present. Was Mom sending her very serious daughter a message? Was it connected to Jeff?

  He reached out and cradled the heart, still warm from her skin. "That's a wonderful story. But it still doesn't explain why you hide it."

  Her gaze shuttered and she tugged the pendant back, concealing it beneath her uniform. He didn't need an answer. Her actions told him everything he needed to know. That necklace was more to her than just a gift from her mother—and it was more than a symbol of her parents' relationship.

  It represented love.

  The all-consuming kind. The kind that made you eager to leave the ship at the end of the day. Maybe even the kind that made you not want to step aboard in the first place. He rested his chin atop his arms. That's what it represented, all right. Only this time, he didn't feel it in his gut, he knew it in his heart.

  The only problem was, Jade wasn't comfortable with what that heart represented. But the fact that she wore it gave him hope. And that hope terrified him. Because it also made him realize that somehow, somewhere along the way, he'd gone from needing to use Jade to simply needing her.