We walked up to the front door, and I pushed the doorbell. A few moments later, the door swung open and Matty stood there grinning at me. His blond hair was perfectly disheveled, and a grin spread across his face.
“Come in! Sorry I had to run off so fast the other night. When Ash beckons, you run unless you want a fight.”
“Really? That much of a controlling dick, huh?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I hoped I hadn’t crossed a line. This was Matty’s friend and bandmate I had just insulted after all, the same one who just happened to be standing right behind me. I wished I could pluck the words from the air and take them back.
“I like her! She gets it!” Matty laughed and looked at Ash.
“Hey, fuck you, too, man.” Ash said and walked inside.
“Nah, he really isn’t that bad. We just tend to get on each other’s nerves since we’re forced to spend so much time together.”
I took off my coat and hung it on a rack by the door. I smiled and waved at a few people sitting in the living room before making my way to the kitchen where Tori busied herself looking through take out menus.
“Hey! Did you get here without any problems?”
“Yeah, I had help.” I looked around at the modern kitchen and took in a few decorating ideas I thought I just might have to steal for my own rarely used kitchen.
“Help?” Tori looked quizzically at me.
A loud, booming voice yelled out from the living room, “Where’s the food? I’m fucking famished!” Ash said, waltzing into the kitchen.
“There isn’t any yet. Why didn’t you bring something if you were so hungry?” Tori asked.
“I had to make sure this friend of yours didn’t fall on her face. She really shouldn’t walk in those kind of shoes. She’s a danger to the community.”
“Shut your face, Ash. She’s fabulous in those shoes. You’ve just never seen her haul ass in a rainstorm wearing 5” stilettos. You’d be impressed then.”
“Yeah, yeah. Yell when there’s food. I’m gonna go bitch at your husband. He’ll think something’s wrong if I don’t.”
As Ash left the room, Tori sidled up beside me and whispered, “What is going on?
I whispered back, “You said he wasn’t going to be here.”
“I said he probably wouldn’t be here. Not the same thing.”
“I’ll tell you later. I’m too mortified to talk about it right now. I fell on him again.”
Tori burst out laughing. “How is that even possible?!”
“Shhh…”
“I’m sorry!”
“Focus, Tori. What’s for dinner?”
“Pizza. Just need a volunteer to go get it.”
“I’ll go as long as it isn’t too far. I’m not really familiar with this area, but I’m sure I can manage.”
“Are you sure? Someone else can go if you think you’ll have any problems,” Tori said. “Can you manage to get there and back without falling? You don’t have a great track record here lately.” Tori giggled, but at least this time the whole neighborhood couldn’t hear her.
“I’ll be fine. It’ll be nice to explore the area a little bit. Just point me in the right direction.” A few minutes to myself to process my time with Ash was what I desperately needed. Plus, there were more people there than I was comfortable with. Being that I leaned more toward the introverted side of my personality made me want to run away, but I stayed.
“You shouldn’t go by yourself. It’s after dark and someone might try some shit if they see you walking around by yourself. I’ll go with you,” Ash said from behind me.
Startled by his sudden reappearance, I spun around to look at him. “I have pepper spray. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure, but I’m going anyway.” Ash walked to the coat rack by the door. He put his own jacket on after handing me my coat. “Now, don’t you fall on me again while we’re out,” he said as he pointed a long, slender finger in my direction. “I’m not gonna catch you next time without some kind of compensation. You only get one freebie from me, and you already owe me one.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Hopefully there won’t be any drunk fuckers or rude little old ladies along the way because I have no intention of compensating you in any way. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” I replied coldly, and turned toward Tori to get the piece of paper with the order details on it as he grinned at me.
We stepped outside shortly after. The wind picked up and the chill in the air intensified. I was starting to rethink the volunteering thing a block into it. I was freezing my ass off, and I needed a heavier coat. Fashion over function may not have been the smartest game plan.
“Thank you for coming with me. You didn’t really have to though.” I glanced at him and quickly looked away.
“I know, but I would’ve been worried about you while you were gone if I didn’t. You never know what kind of boogeymen are lurking in the dark.”
“I don’t believe you would really be all that worried. Sorry to say, but I think you’re fibbing.”
He smiled down at me, shaking his head, and said, “You have no idea…”
“See. I’m right aren’t I? You don’t know me, so why would you give a shit, right?”
“Christ, woman! You won’t cut me a break will you? I meant you have no idea how much I’d be worried, not that I was lying about it.”
“Sorry. I just happen to have a bullshit detector with a broken on/off switch.”
“I have one of those, too. Funny how easily that switch breaks isn’t it?”
“Yeah, well I guess you probably need one that stays on permanently. I can’t imagine what it must be like.”
“It’s not so bad once you get used to the fact that most everyone wants something from you.”
“No one should ever have to get used to that.”
“You’re right, but it kind of comes with the territory I guess. I can’t live a completely normal life like everyone else and continue to be Ash London, Rock Star Extraordinaire, but I do try to have as normal of an existence as possible when I can.”
I pulled the collar of my coat up around my neck and then proceeded to jam my hands as far down in my pockets as I could.
“Do you want my hoodie? It’ll at least cover your head and ears.”
“No, I’m fine. I don’t want you to freeze to death for me. The world would mourn far more for you than it would for me.”
“I still have my jacket.” He rolled his eyes at me and looked away as I shook my head. “Okay, we’re almost there anyway. I can see the sign from here. You can warm up a little while we wait.”
We continued in silence for the next few minutes until we arrived at the pizzeria. I pulled out the paper Tori gave me to see what I needed to order. In an instant, the paper was gone from my hand. Ash walked up to the counter with it and was instantly recognized by the cashier.
“Ash! Long time, no see, brother. How ya been?”
“Can’t complain.” A subtle shift occurred just then. His demeanor changed. He was no longer open and out there. Though he was friendly, an instant wall went up between him and the cashier, and the cashier was none the wiser. If I hadn’t been with him and saw how he’d been acting right before, I wouldn’t have noticed it either.
“Are you playing any shows around here anytime soon? My girlfriend loves you guys and I want to take her to a show.”
“Sorry, man. We have some dates coming up, but nothing in New York this time.”
He finished up the order, and posed for a quick picture with the guys working. He smiled for the camera, but it wasn’t the same smile I’d seen. It wasn’t the one that made my knees go weak. This one was too professional and not organic at all. They spoke for a few more minutes before he joined me as we waited for the pizzas to be done.
“How much did it come to? I have money for it,” I said, reaching into my pocket.
“Don’t worry about it. It was free.”
“Free? How well do you know that guy?”
“I don’t. I only had to take a picture with them to hang up so they can claim I love to eat here.”
“He seemed like he knew you pretty well. I thought he was an old friend or something.”
“Nope, just a guy that I’ve seen here maybe once before.”
Ash sat down in an empty chair beside me and gazed off at nothing. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking behind the wall he’d constructed so quickly. I was fascinated by him and I wanted to know what was going on behind those blue eyes of his.
Twenty minutes later, and our order was done. Ash grabbed all four large pizza boxes before I had a chance to take any of them.
“I can help with those. You don’t need to carry all of them.”
“I’ve got them.”
“Remind me again why I came?”
“To keep me company.”
* * *
Several hours had passed since Ash and I returned from our pizza fetching mission. We hadn’t spoken to each other at all in that time, though every time I found myself wanting to discreetly look at him, he was already staring back at me. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of topaz blue. I could get lost in them in no time if I allowed myself to gaze for too long. The way he looked at me sent chills up my spine and made me feel like I was the only person in the room, despite the group that surrounded us.
I tried hard not to get carried away with how he made me feel. This was Ash London, Rock Star Extraordinaire, as he had put it, after all. Surely he was just being flirty because that’s what rock stars do. There was no way in hell I’d ever be anything more to him other than Tori’s friend he might flirt with occasionally. I wasn’t comfortable enough with myself and my own demons to be a random hook-up for him, so that was out. At best, we were destined to enter the friend zone.
I pulled myself away from him and back into reality. It was getting late, and I still wasn’t used to coming home to a big empty house. Too many horror movies over the years had made me overly cautious. Some of the others started to leave, while some began drinking and making themselves comfortable for the evening. It became apparent that this small get together was fixing to turn into an all-nighter. No one seemed to bother with helping Tori clean up, and I didn’t feel right not pitching in a little before I left. I hadn’t planned on staying longer than dinner and a little conversation, so I was a kind of eager to get going.
“I’ll help you clean up some before I go home,” I said as I started condensing the leftover pizza into one box.
“Thanks, but you don’t have to do that. It’s getting late. I don’t want you to be all paranoid when you get home.” She knew me and my irrational fears all too well.
“I don’t mind. I’d hate for you to be left with all this mess.”
I gathered up paper plates and tossed them in the trash as Tori sprayed cleaner on the counters and wiped them down. Only a few minutes passed when a noticeable presence took over the room. Even with my back turned, I knew it was him.
“I’m on my way out. Lila, why don’t you come with me so you don’t have to be alone on the train? There’s some pretty interesting characters on there this late at night. You might need me as a buffer.”
His offer to see me home safely was my dream come true and my worst nightmare all rolled into one. What if he tried to get me to come to his house or invited himself inside mine? What would I do if his flirting intensified and he expected way more from me than I could or would give him?
“You don’t have to do that,” I said, just barely shaking my head.
He leaned on the freshly cleaned counter and said, “I know I don’t have to. I’m trying to be a nice guy here for once.”
“Go ahead, Lila… I can finish cleaning up.” Tori nudged me toward Ash and the door. “I’ll probably leave the rest of it for tomorrow anyway. I’m sure with this crew plus alcohol, there will be more to clean up later.”
“Ok,” I said begrudgingly as I glared at Tori. “I will be calling you tomorrow,” I said to her as I walked toward the front door.
“Oh, I know…” she said as a wide grin spread across her face.
I stepped outside into the harsh cold. My teeth began to chatter almost instantly.
My nerves were heading into overdrive again as my hands shook slightly. I tried my hardest not to let my voice quiver like it tended to do when I was flustered. I think—I hope—I did a good job of hiding how nervous I was.
We walked swiftly to the subway station without saying much. It was far too cold to focus on small talk. Once we were on the train, he broke the silence.
“You know, I think I’ve seen you walk by my house a few times with a beagle.”
“Yeah? Well, I have to walk by there to take him to the park and to get to the subway.”
“So you do know where I live then?”
Shit. I’d said too much. “Tori told me. I had no idea you lived close to me.” Kudos to me for the save.
“Uh, huh. So you’re not the one I caught staring at me a few weeks ago? Who also happens to have a beagle you admitted you have just now?”
Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t think so.”
“Really? Could’ve sworn it was you,” he said as he reached over and placed his hand just above my knee.
Flinching, I pulled my leg away from him. As much as I wanted him to touch me, the thought of it terrified me.
Ash took his hand away from me and placed it on his own leg. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not you. It’s just a reflex,” I said, waving him off.
“Reflex? I would ask, but I don’t think you’ve known me long enough to really tell me about it. Am I right?”
“You would be correct.” I nervously dragged my hand through my hair and looked away.
“What made you come here? To New York?”
I was thankful for the subject change and happy that he was intuitive enough to know there needed to be one. “I was raised by my grandmother, and she died earlier this year. I decided to move somewhere new for a fresh start. Too many memories back home, and I don’t have any other close family, except for my dog, and I figured I could just bring him with me.”
“I’m sorry to hear your grandmother passed. I understand what that’s like. I was really close to my grandparents growing up, and they’ve both been gone for a few years now. My mother died, too, and I don’t get to see my dad too often. He lives with my brother on the other side of the country.”
I looked over at him as he concentrated on the sign above the window across from us that indicated which stop was coming up. His jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed as a brief moment of grief washed over his face at the mention of his family. I felt awful for him. I knew exactly how he felt. Edie wasn’t my mother, but she might as well have been. My own mother decided I would be better off with my drug addicted father while she lived her life. He tried. He really did, but ultimately I ended up with Edie, and she became both of my parents. Fighting back an onslaught of tears, I wasn’t ready to be so openly emotional in front of him, especially when I wasn’t entirely sure what, if anything, he wanted from me.
“I’m sorry for you, too.” I reached for his arm to comfort him, and unlike me, he did not flinch when I touched him.
The transfer and rest of the ride was silent, but it didn’t feel awkward and I found myself starting to relax. We had bonded over deceased family members, or maybe I was just tired and my inhibitions had loosened. Either way, I was enjoying being with him. My mind ran away with us—what it’d be like to go on tour with him, what it’d be like to go on a date with him, what it’d be like for him to sing to me or write a song for me, what it’d be like to… well, I wasn’t ready to go there just yet, even in my mind.
He wasn’t at all what I expected him to be like. I guess I thought he’d be obnoxious or loud or some larger than life stereotypical rocker bad boy, and when he wasn’t, it shocked me. I liked that softer side of him.
As we walked closer to his house, he offer
ed a suggestion. “We should take my car the rest of the way to your house. It’ll at least get us out of the cold for a few minutes.”
“I can make it on my own from here. It’s only a few more blocks.”
“It’s not a big deal. Let me drive you. I’d feel better if I knew you got home okay.”
I looked toward his driveway where a gorgeous black Lexus IS 350 with tinted windows was parked. Even under the moon light, I could tell how nice the car was. Though I had seen it from afar, I’d never been close to it. I couldn’t recall ever having the opportunity to ride in a Lexus, as they were not a common make of car in my small inner circle back home.
Ash opened the door for me and waited for me to get in. Once I was safely inside, the door slammed shut and seconds later he was on the other side of the car. His door opened, and he squeezed himself between the seat and the steering wheel. He really was tall. I guessed he was at least 6’5” if not taller.
The seat instantly began to warm my butt, and I was happy to be out of the bitter cold. A few minutes later, we arrived outside my house after I showed him the way. Ash exited the car after putting it in park. He was at my door pulling on the handle in seconds.
The door opened, and he waited patiently as I unbuckled the seat belt and turned to step out of the car. A huge hand, palm up, ready to assist me lingered mere inches from my face. I was quite capable of exiting a car on my own, but I was dazzled by the chivalry. Edie would’ve been impressed. She always said men didn’t pay as much attention to the little things they could do for a woman to make her feel special. Well, just maybe, this one did pay attention.
He followed close behind as I walked to the front door, making me feel safe from any danger that might be lurking. For a split second I thought about asking him inside so I could make sure there were no psychopaths waiting to kill me, but I feared he might get the wrong idea about what I wanted and decided against it. I also had no desire to have him think I was some kind of crackpot who was afraid of her own house.
Take Me On (Take Me Series Book 1) Page 5