Take Me On (Take Me Series Book 1)

by Summers, Stephanie

  They nodded and headed into the hotel.

  I found a place to sit down off to the side of the park away from the few people that were also there. It was near a fountain with very little water flowing due to the cold. The lovely yellows, oranges, and reds of autumn adorned the trees around me. It was quite breathtaking and made me a little homesick. Few places in the world could match the beauty of West Virginia in the fall. The monster storm had missed this part of Pennsylvania. Otherwise the leaves would probably have been gone already. I welcomed the serenity that surrounded me, though it also made me miss my Manny.

  My neighbor, Kathy, offered to watch him while I was gone. Her daughter, Danielle, had been begging for a dog, and she thought it’d be a good opportunity to test the waters. I felt like I’d cheated Manny since apparently it was a wasted trip as far as Ash was concerned. I tried to soak in some of the serenity and not continue on the downward spiral I was on.

  For whatever reason, most likely because he thought me a prude or a whack-a-doodle, he was done with me, and I was there on the false hope that he might want more. It was stupid of me to think he might want to get to know me after our failed make out session. Sure, we seemed headed for something more even before that, but I couldn’t help thinking that he was vulnerable and that’s the only reason I’d gotten a glimpse of what could have been. He had thrown me away like a broken toy, though I knew that’s probably not how he would see it. To him, I was probably just another fish in the sea that wasn’t willing to put out and nothing more.

  My train of thought was broken by a familiar voice and the sound of leaves crunching under heavy boots as someone approached.

  “What are you doing out here? Stalking me?” Ash asked as he grinned at me.

  “I believe I was here first, which would make you the stalker.”

  “You got me there.”

  Awkward silence.

  He dragged his large hand through his hair nervously as his other hand fidgeted in his jacket pocket. “Hey, I didn’t see you when I first got off the bus, or I would’ve stopped and talked to you. I didn’t know you would be here.”

  “It’s fine. You’re not obligated to acknowledge me.” I tried to hide the hurt in my voice, but I feared I hadn’t done a very good job. After all, he hadn’t said anything to me even after he looked right at me, so what was up with that?

  “Mind if I join you?”

  “Sure, go ahead.” I looked away from him as he sat down.

  “Is everything alright? You seem annoyed.”

  “I’m fine. Just dealing with some stuff in my head.” I focused on the ground and pushed at a rock with the edge of my shoe.

  “Wanna talk about it?”

  “No, I do not…”

  More awkward silence.

  “How have you been? I wanted to see you again before I left, but I was afraid you might think I was being pushy.”

  Scrunching my face up, I looked up at him like he had just told me the biggest lie I’d ever heard in my life. “Yeah, okay.”

  “What? It’s true. Maybe you need to get that bullshit detector of yours looked at. I think your switch is broken again,” he said with a straight face.

  I began to laugh. I tried not to, but I couldn’t hold it in. Not only had he remembered our conversation, but he’d used it against me.

  “There it is! There’s that smile I so rarely see.”

  “I smile all the time, thank you very much.”

  “Oh really? I haven’t seen you do it all that much.”

  “Well, half of the times you’ve seen me were under some pretty sad circumstances, and the first time doesn’t count. I was distressed, and I’m pretty sure I at least smirked at some point the other times.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” he said, waving his hand dismissively in my direction.

  “How are you doing?”

  “I’m surviving. You were right about the numbness going away. I don’t even want to be on the road right now. The last thing I want to do is get on stage like a giant tool, and act like I’m having the best time of my life.”

  “I’m so sorry, Ash. I really am. When you get back home, if you ever need to talk or just don’t want to be alone, you know where to find me.”

  “Thanks.”

  “By the way, you don’t have to come with us today. I won’t be offended if you don’t. I get it.”

  Leaning back, he hung his arm on the bench behind me and said, “I want to. It’s too bad we can’t go alone, but Tori seemed pretty excited about it.”

  “She is. She hasn’t been back for quite a while.”

  “Still… it’d be nice to see where you’re from without those two practically dry humping each other.”

  I laughed a little harder than I should have. “I guess we should head back and see if Tori and Matty are ready.” We stood up and walked toward the hotel.

  “So why did you think I was lying about wanting to see you again?”

  “Well, I just think after you share a bed together with practically no clothes on, you might be interested in getting to know them a little more afterward. I think we crossed some kind of a line with that one so I don’t really understand why you’d think I thought you were being pushy for wanting to see me again.”

  “I told you I respected you, and I mean that. I thought if I bugged you, you’d think I was just trying to fuck you, and I didn’t want to make you freak out again.”

  There it was, the big purple elephant with pink polka dots in the room. His avoidance of me was my fault, just like I’d suspected.

  “Yeah, about that… Maybe I should explain.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  I nodded as we continued to walk on in silence.

  Just after we entered the parking lot, Tori appeared. Her normally bright and cheery face had disappeared leaving a disappointed one in its place.

  “The guys can’t go with us. Matty just found out they have press to do today.”

  Ash scowled. “What? Why the fuck didn’t I know about this until now?” His fist balled at his side as his other hand pushed his hair back out of his face. His eyes darkened as his back stiffened just before he turned away from us, making him seem even taller than he already was. “Heads are about to fucking roll,” I heard him say as he turned away from us. Angry Ash was a scary sight and not one I ever wanted to see directed at me. Anger seethed through him. Stray people moved out of his way as he walked with purpose toward the bus.

  “That sucks. He was going to go, too.” I kept my disappointment at bay. I didn’t want to seem too bummed. It wasn’t like I was missing out on time with my husband like Tori was.

  “We can still go like we planned. I just really wanted to take Matty.”

  “Let’s just stay here. Paige isn’t home anyway. I wanted our visit to be a surprise, but when I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore and called, I found out she left yesterday to go on vacation with her mom. I don’t really want to go if she isn’t there.”

  “Are you sure? It’s up to you. We can do whatever you want.”

  “Let’s just stay here.” I smiled reassuringly at Tori. She wanted to spend time with Matty, and I could see that. I didn’t want to force her to go away for the whole day. I couldn’t imagine the interview or the appearance taking more than a couple of hours.

  Tori and I walked back inside and to our separate rooms. I was still so sleepy I couldn’t see straight. At least I could work in a much needed nap if I wasn’t going to be driving anywhere.

  * * *

  It seemed like we had just made it to Pittsburgh when it was time to leave. I’d managed to stay alone in my room most of the time and didn’t think the time would go by so fast. Everyone seemed really busy, and I didn’t have much to do but sit around and finish a little bit of work that I’d brought with me. Tori and I ended up spending some time exploring Pittsburgh while the band rehearsed earlier in the day. Other than that and dinner the night before, I didn’t leave my room.

  I hadn’t re
ally seen Ash since we’d returned from the park. I hoped maybe we would get a chance to talk, but it never happened. From what I could tell, the band had stayed fairly busy with press and rehearsals, though I didn’t know for sure since I’d barely left my room.

  That was the first time I got to see Ferrum perform live. I’d been to my fair share of concerts over the years, but this was something special. It’s a rare thing to see a person sing live and sound as good as or better than a professionally polished recording. Ash was one of those rare talents. Singing seemed so effortless to him, like all he had to do was open his mouth and the lyrics would just pour out.

  Bodies in the crowd moved and writhed with the music while they sang right along with Ash as if his words were truly their own. To see him interact with the crowd between songs was fascinating. He didn’t seem a bit nervous, and I admired him for that because there’s no way in hell I could ever go in front of an audience like that without suffering a severe anxiety attack.

  After the show was finished, fans were greeted, and all the equipment was packed up, Tori grabbed my hand so we wouldn’t get separated and led me away from the dwindling chaos. We pushed our way through the crowd outside the bus. Tori banged on the bus door, and the driver, Leon, opened it for us. As we entered the bus, several rude comments about us being sluts and nothing but filthy groupie whores were hurled our way. I knew people could be judgmental, but for fuck’s sake Tori was Matty’s wife. She didn’t deserve that and neither did I. A slut bunny, I was not. I felt it best to ignore the haters and breathed a sigh of relief once the door closed behind me.

  Stepping up into the bus, my breath caught in my throat at what I saw. I knew it wasn’t going to be as bad as a shitty Greyhound bus, but I never expected it to be so nice either. Large leather bench seating with high cushioned backs lined either side of the front of the bus. A large, flat screen television hung on the front wall. The floor appeared to be a dark colored hard wood and the walls were deep crimson. A bar/kitchenette area with chrome appliances was situated on the left just past the seating, and on the right side, there was a table large enough to seat six people comfortably. Behind that I could make out what appeared to be six bunks. There was a door behind all that, too. Tori showed me where the bathroom was located, but warned me not to use it if I didn’t have to. She thought it was disgusting and apparently it wasn’t well ventilated. Note to self: use the restroom inside the venues or at rest areas, not on the bus.

  After only seeing twelve bunks and noticing the amount of crew and band members from both Ferrum and the opening band trickling onto the bus, I wondered where exactly I would be sleeping. The crew had their own bus, just like the opening band had their own, but it seemed like maybe some of them that were closer to the members of Ferrum traveled on this one instead. My anxiety worsened as I realized maybe I would be sleeping on the crew bus instead of the band bus, and I doubted it was anywhere as nice as that one. I seriously need to take a nerve pill if I’m going to get through all this and keep my sanity.

  Not knowing where to go or what to do, I sat down and observed the happenings around me. Ash, Matty, and Dax, who had brought along a girl he’d met at some point after the show, all arrived about the same time, and it was getting close to time to leave. Once again, I was the invisible woman to Ash as he walked right by me without as much as a look in my direction. I didn’t understand why he seemed so into me one minute, and then not so much the next. It was mind numbingly frustrating.

  A lanky guy with long, stringy hair, who had been watching me since I’d gotten on the bus, sat down beside me and introduced himself.

  “Hi, I’m Craig. I don’t think we’ve met,” he said as he held his hand out to shake mine. Being the polite person that I am, I shook his hand but quickly pulled away. His other hand, holding a bottle of whiskey, tilted toward me and offered me a swig.

  “Hi, Craig. I’m Lila, and no, thanks,” I said, putting my hand up.

  “Lila.” He paused as if he were savoring the way my name tasted on his tongue before taking a gulp of the whiskey. “I like that name. You look like a Lila.”

  I smiled politely at him, and averted my eyes. I didn’t have much interest in talking to him and had hoped he would just leave me alone. That’s not how my luck seems to run though so I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t go away.

  “So are you here with anyone in particular?” he asked, his arm snaking along the cushion behind me.

  I knew what he was getting at, and I wasn’t impressed. “I’m here with Tori,” I said rather sternly, leaning away from him. I wasn’t there to be someone’s bed mate for the night or hour or however long it took before they got tired of you.

  “Cool, cool. This your first time? On a tour bus, I mean.”

  Ash had coincidentally placed himself directly across from Craig and me after re-emerging from the back of the bus. He sat at a weird angle that afforded him the ability to look out the window with his left ear conveniently pointed at this Craig guy and me. Funny how he seemed to take notice now, and I was no longer invisible. I toyed with the idea of flirting with Craig to see if I could get some reaction out of Ash. That wasn’t me, though, and I knew I would feel painfully awkward, and it would send the wrong message to Ash.

  “Yes.”

  Craig began to laugh and said, “Word of advice, don’t fall asleep too soon!”

  Ash’s face whipped toward us. His lips set into a hard, straight line as his brows furrowed over his slightly narrowed eyes. I knew he was listening…

  Quickly looking away from Ash, I said, “Okay. Why?”

  “I might just have to dick face you if no one else beats me to it.” He playfully elbowed me. I turned full on toward him with my arms crossed.

  “Excuse me?” I didn’t know what that fool was talking about but I had no desire to have a random stranger’s dick anywhere near me, let alone my face. There was no way in fuck I was falling asleep anytime soon.

  “There won’t be any of that,” Ash said coolly as he leaned forward.

  “It’s tradition, man!” Craig smiled widely seemingly in an effort to thwart whatever he thought might be coming next. Coincidentally, he removed his arm from behind me.

  “Not for a female guest of mine.” We hadn’t really spoken since the park, but apparently I was there with him. Not bad for an invisible girl.

  “Sorry. She didn’t say she was one of yours. I thought she was with Tori…”

  “Excuse me—again—but what the hell does dick face mean?” I ignored the “one of yours” comment, like I was a thing to be used and tossed away instead of a person, but then wasn’t that common place for rock stars?

  Craig turned to me and said, “Dick face is something that happens to the first couple of people who pass out outside of their bunks, usually from alcohol. After they’re out, we draw dicks on their face, among other things, with a sharpie. They wake up none the wiser the next day with all kinds of horrible stuff drawn on them. It’s pretty juvenile, but we all get a good laugh out of it.”

  Ash’s jaws clenched and his body stiffened. “Yeah, and that won’t be happening tonight.”

  “Hey, boss, you don’t have to worry about me. I get it, but you know it won’t be a guarantee that no one else will.”

  “Lila, you can sleep in the back room in my bed so no one is tempted to bother you,” Ash said. His eyes never left Craig though he was addressing me. “And you know what else?” His voice grew louder for everyone to hear. “Anyone else who thinks they’re going to be disrespectful to any guests on this bus can fuck off back to the crew bus.” A silence fell over the group as Ash looked around at the non-band member stragglers. You could probably hear a pin drop, you know, if one had actually dropped right then. “I don’t want to hear that you were drunk or high and didn’t know any better either. Guests are off limits. Don’t be a bunch of fucking jerk offs.” In an instant, I was bathed in his massive shadow as he stood up and walked toward the back. Craig left the bus entirely at that p
oint. Probably a good move on his part.

  Tori hurried over and sat down close beside me and whispered, “What was that?”

  “I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me,” I whispered back. “You’re the one that has experience with this kind of stuff.”

  “Not this kind of stuff. I’ve never seen him get so pissy about it before. He usually thinks it’s pretty funny when it happens. The only time he didn’t think it was funny was when it happened to him. I told you he’s into you…”

  CHAPTER 16 – ASH LONDON

  Fucking jerks. I was absolutely fucking appalled that anyone would think it was funny to treat my guest that way. She wasn’t one of the nameless girls that ended up on the bus almost every night with one of us ass clowns. I know she wasn’t really there because of me, but still, it wasn’t right. She should have been with me, and maybe she would’ve been if I’d went to see her even one of the times I wanted to after the night we spent together or while she spent hours upon hours in her hotel room alone. I managed to convince myself again that I didn’t deserve her, and that she didn’t deserve the problems that went along with being my girl.

  On the surface, I was pissed at Craig for being a dick, but I was more pissed at myself for not paying much attention to her before then. I had to remove myself from the situation before I did something stupid like kick Craig’s ass and get sued or wind up in jail for the night.

  I kept myself busy cleaning up the back room. There wasn’t much of a mess, but I didn’t want her thinking I was a fucking slob so I picked up what little bit of clothes I had lying around and threw them in a laundry bag. A couple of empty food containers littered the couch, and I quickly tossed them in the trash before taking one last quick look around to make sure it was up to my standards.

  Once I was satisfied, I opened the door and poked my head out. “Lila? Could you come back here, please?” The crowd that had been gathered just a few minutes before dispersed from my earlier outburst, and I barely had to raise my voice to get her attention.