Ki'ti's Story, 75,000 BC

by Bonnye Matthews

  While the activity surrounding Enut’s death was busily going on, the Others quietly slipped away from the cave to go to work on meat and skin preparation. The Others feared death and did not handle such times well.

  It did not take long for everyone in the cave to know what had occurred. Minagle had replaced Hahami-na in comforting Domur and she was joined by Aryna, Meeka, and Liho. Hahami-na was busy locating Enut’s small bag of personal tools. They would be given to Domur.

  Totamu took a soft piece of leather and went to the large gourd of water. She immersed the leather and made it wet. She twisted it tightly to remove most of the water and returned to Enut, washing her face off with care and tenderness. Her granddaughter! Death had a strange way of choosing people. Who’d have thought she’d outlive her granddaughter. But then she had outlived Reemast, Enut’s son. Totamu thought about Reemast. They had killed him, she was certain, and with reason. But she had no idea who had done it. Normally, she would have known. He had crossed a line that was uncrossable. It was really sad. Had they not killed him, he might have murdered Minagle or someone else. There was a difference between killing and murdering, she knew, but death was death.

  Totamu looked at her hands as she touched the hands of Enut. Her own hands looked so old. When, she wondered, had they lost their flesh? When had her veins become so large? When had she gained all those wrinkles in her skin? When had her skin defined the bones in her hands instead of the other way around? Her knuckles were huge. Her nails were broken and dirty. Normally, she had been careful to keep her hands clean. To prepare food and to stay healthy they had learned long ago, keeping hands relatively clean was important. Enut’s hands did not look old at all. In a wisp of thought, Totamu realized that while she’d fled the volcano, been busy around the cave cutting hair of those in the cave, and tended to administrative duties, she’d neglected herself.

  A few of the women in the cave came by to offer sympathy and assistance. Totamu didn’t want any of either but tried to remain civil. She ached but had a responsibility and would fulfill it to the best of her ability. Focus on the work was also for her a balm for her pain. She wanted to make it so that when the men came to take Enut to the place for her burial, all would be ready. They had no flowers. There was nothing to add to the grave to send with her. When they left their home place, they had left anything that wasn’t critically needed, even the red ochre for keeping skin in death. Totamu’s eyes watered again. Then she remembered that Enut had eyed the shells on her dress. Totamu used the sharp cutting tool and removed one of the shells from her dress. That would do very well to send with Enut as a token of their love. She took a piece of leather from her bag, folded the strip, threaded the strip through the hole in the shell, and pulled the ends through the loop. Then she tied the ends of the leather together and slipped the necklace over Enut’s head. That would do very well, she thought.

  Pechki came over and looked at what Totamu had done. The two women hugged.

  “You have done well, Mother. How can it be that I have lost a daughter and a grandson in just a few days?” Pechki’s eyes were reddening from crying.

  “Our People dwindle, Daughter. I do not know why this has to be. We do try so hard to take care of each other. Maybe it is time to join permanently with the other People to increase both our numbers? I have heard some talk, but in this case you and I, we have been hit hard with sadness. No one else seems to have become so sick. Look at that face. She seems to be sleeping, does she not? Just sleeping.”

  “Except, Mother, she is too still. Even in sleep we move. I remember when Nanichak-na’s wife died. That hit me hard, but not like this. This is terrible.”

  “Dear One, we NEVER expect to outlive our children and grandchildren. What am I doing here at my age when my granddaughter’s son is dead? No, we never expect the younger ones to leave first. It feels unnatural. But when I chase questions I cannot answer, I turn it over to Wisdom. There are things we never understand.”

  “Mother, your gift to Enut has not been unnoticed by me,” Pechki said as she fingered the necklace Totamu had made. “I thank you so much. There are no flowers that we can put in the place of departure for her, but this more than makes up for it.”

  They hugged again in silence.

  “Did Hahami-na tell you that I will mother Domur?”

  “Yes, he did. That is wonderful because I know she wants to be free to join with Manak and he wants her. That’s the only way to do it.”

  “So you’re not opposed?”

  “Mother, how could you ever think such a thing?”

  “Pechki, I long ago learned that people have wide varieties of opinions and you can never be absolutely certain where another’s desire is unless you ask, and even then you don’t always know for certain. Do you want to finish cleaning her up? The rag is here.”

  “Of course, Mother, thank you.”

  A few of the Others had been getting the morning meal going. It gave them something to do when they were at a loss to grieve as the People were grieving for someone they didn’t know.

  Domur continued to wail and it was unnerving some of the cave inhabitants. Finally, Hahami-na walked over to Domur, and he made her stand. He took her to Totamu. “You have lost a mother,” he said as if making a pronouncement, “But you have also gained a mother,” he said while taking her right hand and putting it in the hand of Totamu.

  She looked into Totamu’s eyes and her wailing became silent with only tears falling as understanding pierced through her pain. She had wept for loss of a mother, certainly. She had found Enut with her eyes oddly splayed and wide open and her mouth open and her jaw hanging oddly. Domur realized her mother was dead. By tradition, daughters who were not yet women were passed to the mother’s sister when the mother died. Manak was Likichi’s son. Having Likichi for mother would have made Manak and Domur ineligible for joining. Domur’s wailing was two-fold. She had lost a mother and expected to lose her choice of future husband. The Winds of Change had all but taken her will to live. When she realized she’d been passed to a new mother two generations removed from Likichi, Domur realized that she and Manak had been spared separation. Her relief was enormous. With her relief came her silence.

  Totamu smiled wryly at Hahami-na. “We should have done this sooner.”

  “Yes,” he agreed with a shrug, and left to go outside to help Mootmu-na and Nanichak-na. He needed to expend some energy after what he’d experienced.

  When Hahami-na reached the grave site he found that the two had made a lot of progress. All the ash had been removed and they had dug an area with the digging sticks. The larger bones, scapulas from various large animals, were being used to scoop the chopped up earth to the side.

  “Any quieter in there?” Nanichak-na asked while looking carefully at Hahami-na to see whether it appeared that he had need of comforting.

  He nodded. Realizing that there was not much need for him there, he asked, “Have you seen any stones that would be useful in protecting the grave?”

  Mootmu-na stood up straight. He put his hand to his head in thought. “There are some stones in the back of Cave Sumbrel. Back there where the women put the skin stretchers. There aren’t many rocks, but I estimate there are enough for good protection.”

  Hahami-na lowered his head and turned to Cave Sumbrel. “Be right back,” Mootmu-na said to Nanichak-na. “I want to send Slamika to help his father. It will give him a chance to participate.”

  Nanichak-na nodded and smiled wistfully. What a sad day, he thought.

  When Mootmu-na arrived at the home cave, he found Slamika kneeling on his sleeping mat, sitting on his feet, bent over with tears still falling from his eyes. He stooped down and put his hand on Slamika’s shoulder. Slamika looked up with red rimmed eyes. There was an emptiness about him. Olintak was beside him but had not been able to comfort him at all. She was distraught because she could not reach him. Mootmu-na looked into her eyes trying to tell her this would pass.

  “Your father needs
you, Slamika,” Mootmu-na said quietly. “He is gathering protection stones from Cave Sumbrel and is bringing them to the grave site which is downhill. You can find it from Nanichak-na’s scraping and digging sounds. Here, let me give you a hand up,” he added.

  Slamika didn’t want to do anything but grieve, but he also would not have dreamed of failing to respond to a need of the People generally, certainly not his father’s need specifically. So he gave his hand to Mootmu-na and got up and went to put on his booted garment. He walked outside to the privy and then headed to Cave Sumbrel. It was a grim day. Even when Wisdom returned color to the land these days, all was gray, he thought.

  Mootmu-na prepared to return to the glade, but turned and asked Amey to bring him some meat for Nanichak-na and himself, maybe Hahami-na and Slamika as well. She quickly placed plenty of meat in a woven basket with a lid and handed it to her husband. “Be safe,” she whispered.

  “And you,” he whispered back.

  Ki’ti had been hiding on her sleeping mat. She did not remember ever experiencing death. Oh, People had mentioned that Reemast was probably dead, but she hadn’t seen him. Others had died when she was too young to remember. She’d seen Totamu tie a leather strip under Enut’s chin to the top of her head. It kept Enut’s mouth from hanging so grotesquely. But Enut still didn’t look right and it frightened her. She sat on her mat with her covering cape-like over her head holding Ahriku in her arms tight to her chest. She noticed Wamumur approaching and was alarmed.

  “You have your first assignment, Little Girl,” he said. “When we go to the grave site today, you will tell the first story.”

  Ki’ti was startled. “Now?”

  “You know the story, don’t you?”

  “Yes, Wise One,” she replied. “I must go outside.”

  “I’ll accompany you. Come on,” and with that, he held out his hand. She took it and headed for the privy. Ahriku bounded to the cave entrance and the opportunity to relieve his bladder.

  “Will the Others be there?” she asked, curious.

  “Yes, but they don’t know our language well enough to follow the story. Don’t worry. This is something we have to do. And I assign you to do it.”

  “Yes, Wise One.”

  “Now, go take some food and review the story in your mind web.”

  “Yes, Wise One.”

  “Little Girl, are you well?” he asked. Her answers were not typical.

  “Yes. This morning had me frightened. That is all.”

  “There is no need for fright,” he stated flatly.

  She wanted to reply flippantly, but bit her tongue. “My understanding hasn’t caught up with my responsibility,” she said, having thought out what she considered would be an appropriate reply.

  “Well thought out,” he complimented her. “But that’s not what you were going to say.”

  “You see into my mind web?” she asked quite daunted.

  “Only sometimes,” he said. “You did well.”

  Ki’ti felt a sense of relief. For days she had felt under attack. A compliment was a welcome respite. She realized, too, that she hadn’t fooled him. But she had held her tongue. For perhaps the first time in days she was proud of herself, realized it, and wondered how anyone could ever kill pride. She ruminated. Is that what it would be like to be an adult? Would she forever be forcing herself to speak appropriately instead of from her first thoughts? She didn’t want to grow up if that’s what it meant, and then she realized that would be something never to say aloud. Wamumur would strike her if she did. She finally knew that. That thought was contrary to the natural way things were; it was contrary to the health and well being of the People; and it was probably not true, if she really examined it. She realized that for a moment, she had permitted herself to believe a lie of her own making. For the first time in her life, she felt alone, really alone. Chilled. In the midst of all these people, she felt terribly alone. But she also felt enlightened. Her punishments were to keep her from believing lies she’d created for herself. She went to the sitting place where she had gone through the stories. She shut her eyes and began to tell the story in her mind.

  Wamumur was sitting on the rock staring at the floor. Ki’ti put her hand on Wamumur’s arm and asked, “Wise One, do you ever feel alone when there are many people around you?”

  He touched her head and smiled, “Both Emaea and I know that feeling well. It comes with being Wise One.”

  Mootmu-na, Nanichak-na, Hahami-na, and Slamika all stood at the grave site and ate the meat that Mootmu-na had brought back. There wasn’t a scrap left. None of the men had realized they were hungry, but the food helped. Hahami-na and his son returned to the cave to bring more protection stones to the grave site. It did appear that there were just enough of the stones to keep Enut’s body safe from any animals that might come later to try to dig her up.

  Mootmu-na looked up as the two men went to gather rocks. Hahami-na put his arm around Slamika, something that was certainly permitted but rarely done among the men after a male child entered puberty. Mootmu-na smiled broadly, gesturing to Nanichak-na to look, when he saw Slamika tentatively and then strongly place his arm around his father. It was good.

  Back in the cave, Wamumur took his right foot and nudged Ki’ti’s foot. She looked up, pride over her assignment for the day vanishing.

  “What have you forgotten?” he asked.

  She felt the fear from earlier creep up her spine. What had she forgotten? She mentally walked through her mind web from the time she encountered him that morning to the present. Then she realized he’d told her to eat.

  “I’m not hungry,” she blurted out, and then realized she shouldn’t have said that. “Forgive me, Wise One.” She lowered her head.

  “Eat,” he insisted and left her to go to talk to Emaea.

  She got up and went to find something to eat. Ey saw her and fixed her a bowl of food. She handed it to Ki’ti who took it and thanked her. Ki’ti was not hungry but she dutifully ate what was in the bowl. Noticing that Wamumur’s back was to her and that Emaea could not see her, she did share some with the dog, unaware that Totamu and some in the cave noticed.

  Hunters and women who hadn’t already departed left for Cave Sumbrel to continue working. They couldn’t spare time since getting provisions for the season of cold days was critical in light of the meat’s coming from the ashfall. Along with the strips, the men also were curing meat in the form of smoked legs. Legs were hanging in the cave with fires underneath the smoke hole. The drying strips were off to the sides. They would be there for a long time. Some of the drying strips were ready to take back to the home cave for storage in the nice, cool, dry room in the lower level away from the flowing water. Women had carefully swept the future storage room clean, which included the ceiling, walls, and floor. The room was huge. The young girls who had been gathering sticks were given the task of taking the dried meat to the cave and placing it carefully where they had been told to put it on mats. None of the hunters had gone looking for meat because they felt they should attend the departure of Enut.

  The men had dug down to a level of about four feet. The sides were caving so they tried to scoop carefully. Then Mootmu-na helped Nanichak-na climb out of the hole, and Nanichak-na gave Mootmu-na a hand to help him out. The work had been beneficial to both of them. They headed for the cave with their tools and the bowl. They would bring the tools back later when it was time to cover Enut’s body.

  The women who tended the children noticed the tools when the men returned to the cave. Mitrak jumped up since Shmyukuk was nursing Ey’s infant. Mitrak would alert the hunters and the women at the other cave that the grave was ready and it was time to gather there. She put on a booted garment and headed to Cave Sumbrel.

  Wamumur walked over to Ki’ti. “Little Girl, I do not want you feeding the dog from your food. You know that. I should punish you. I should also punish you for trying to get by with something I don’t want you to do when my back is turned. Both are not good.�
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  Ki’ti hung her head. Would this never end? She wondered.

  He continued, “What I will do and this is certain. If you feed the dog again away from the other dogs, you will have to make him stay with the others. If he refuses to stay, I will break his neck. Your friend will be gone. Is this understood?”

  “Yes, Wise One.” She lowered her head horrified. She knew he was serious.

  “You will never have an unobserved moment again in your life. Get used to it. If I don’t see you, many other eyes will. When you disobey me, you put the People at risk. It is as if you lied. To lie is to try to fool People and yourself. It is also to steal, to steal an identity, a thing, an opportunity that is not yours. A Wise One holds to truth only. The People know that. They depend on it. Your life must be an example of Wisdom, not corruption. Nothing else but Wisdom. I will hear of your doing things that I have told you not to do, if you try to do things secretly. Don’t try. You will become Wise One.” He hit his left palm with his right fist hard. “I do not want to strike you for doing things that are not good. But I will.” He did another hard palm strike. “If necessary, your former experience will be nothing compared to what is possible. Is this understood?”

  “Yes, Wise One.” Her voice was very low, but he heard her. Once she had seen several men in turn beating Reemast within an inch of his life when they saw him squeeze to death baby birds he’d found in a nest. They didn’t kill him but for a long time he’d been badly hurt. She suspected that is what the Wise One meant. It frightened her.