Truth and Solace

by Jana Richards

  “I’m so sorry, Luke.”

  Maggie reached across the truck’s console to cup his cheek. The years fell away like autumn leaves in a stiff breeze. All the emotions of that summer – the love, the excitement, the tenderness and especially the lightning attraction – rushed back, swamping her.

  Luke must have felt it, too. He reached for her, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck as he leaned toward her. The minute his lips touched hers, fire ignited low in her belly. Her body remembered his kiss, remembered the shape of his lips and the way they fit so perfectly against hers. But the kiss was new as well. This wasn’t Luke the shy, inexperienced boy. This was Luke the man and his kiss commanded, making her want more, so much more. His tongue ravaged her mouth until she wanted to cry out with the pleasure of it. He demanded an emotional response, and she gave it to him, pouring all her desire and all the love she’d once had for him into her kiss.

  And then he abruptly pulled away, breathing heavily, his eyes wide with shock. He turned away, avoiding her eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

  She needed a moment to grasp what he was saying. He was sorry he’d kissed her. Like he’d been sorry ten years ago when he’d taken her virginity and then left her.

  Embarrassment flooded her. She’d known this was going to happen. She’d told herself to keep her distance. How foolish she was for letting her emotions run away. How stupid to let her body respond to his kiss as if she were still a damn fourteen-year-old.

  She slid away from him and readjusted her seat belt while Luke put the truck into gear and turned it around. Soon, they were back on the main road heading to the lodge. As if the last few moments had never happened.

  Maggie wished she could convince her body and her heart they hadn’t.

  As soon as Luke parked in front of the lodge, Maggie jumped out of the truck without saying a word. She was angry, and he didn’t blame her.

  He never should have kissed her. But one touch and he couldn’t stop himself. She was soft and warm, and the remembered taste of her was intoxicating, like the finest California Syrah.

  But then the guilt hit him. His stay in Minnesota was temporary, and he had no business starting something with Maggie. He’d hurt her by leaving before, and he’d be damned if he’d do it again.

  Leaving Maggie ten years ago had been more difficult and painful than he cared to admit. It had taken him a long time to get over her. But he’d had no choice except to leave. At least, that’s what he believed.

  The jagged edge of guilt had eventually dulled to a bearable ache. He told himself they’d been kids, too young for any kind of lasting relationship. She’d only been fourteen, for God’s sake. Her grandfather had been right to be worried about her.

  But that didn’t mean Luke’s feelings for her that summer hadn’t been real.

  With a sigh, he turned off the ignition and made his way into the lodge. Better get to work.

  As he stepped inside the lodge, he met Ethan and Cam in the entryway. Ethan raised one eyebrow. “You look like a guy who could use a beer. Come on, I’ve got some cold ones in our cottage.”

  Luke shook his head and checked his watch. Three thirty-nine. “Isn’t it a little early for happy hour?”

  “Fine. You can call it a business meeting if it makes you feel better. I’ll show you the progress we’ve made on the new cottages in the last week.” Cam clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Ethan and I watched our mother struggle with cancer. We know how tough it is. I’m sorry.”

  Luke lowered his head and stared at his shoes before lifting his gaze back to Cam. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  Ethan grabbed a jacket from the coat tree near the door. “Come on. Let’s go.”

  They walked the quarter mile up a small hill to the new cottages. Luke was glad for the fresh air and exercise. The cold wind blew some of the anger and resentment from his head and eased his guilt regarding Maggie. At least a little of it.

  The two cottages Cam’s crew were working on were in the drywall stage. Once mudding and taping was complete, painting could begin. Finishing work could then take place – the flooring, tiling, cupboards and countertops, baseboards and mouldings. Soon, it would start to look like a place guests could enjoy staying at.

  “How long will it take to finish these two cottages?”

  “A couple of weeks, give or take. We’re installing a solar electric system in all the cottages with a backup to the power grid if we need it. That could take some extra time,” Cam said. “I wasn’t a fan in the beginning because of the extra cost in the installation stage, but I think solar’s going to save money in the long run.”

  “Harper’s vision for the lodge was to be environmentally sensitive and sustainable, and I think we’ve achieved that,” Ethan said. “And that concludes the business portion of this meeting.”

  They walked back to the first cottage, the one they’d passed on the way to the construction site. Luke stopped for a moment and examined the façade. “Is it my imagination, or does this cottage have a different vibe from the ones currently under construction?”

  “It does,” Ethan said. “Harper built this one and the one next door a couple of summers ago, hoping she could attract guests with something a little more modern than what was available at the lodge. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out the way she’d planned.”

  “She purchased the plans online,” Cam said. “They’re nice, but generic. I changed the siding to match the other cottages so we’d have a more cohesive look.”

  “They look good,” Luke said. He turned to Ethan. “So you and Harper are living in this cottage?”

  “Yeah, for now, anyway. Maggie’s in the one next door.”

  “If the grand opening attracts as many visitors as I’m hoping, we may need these cottages to accommodate them.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Ethan said as he opened the front door. “We’ve been looking for someplace to rent or buy around Minnewasta, but there’s not much available. Eventually we want to build a house, either on property the lodge owns or somewhere nearby. I’m waiting for Cam to finish the cottages so he can design something for us.”

  Cam laughed as he pulled out two cans of beer and a soda from the fridge. He handed the beer to Ethan and Luke. “So you’re serious about me designing a house for you?”

  Ethan accepted the can of beer and opened it with a pop. “Who else would I trust to build it?”

  “I’m building it, too?”

  “Naturally.”

  “I’ll be happy to design your house. But I’d like to see the property first.”

  “You’ll see it as soon as we do. We’ve spoken to a real estate agent. She’s keeping an eye out for us.”

  “What about you, Cam?” Luke popped the lid on his can. “Where are you living?”

  “Me and Scarlet and my daughter Tessa are living on an small acreage a mile and a half outside of Minnewasta. We’re renting it right now, but we’re in the process of buying. The house is a basic three-bedroom bungalow, but it’s got a great workshop and a fair bit of land. If I ever finish all my projects for Ethan, I’ll either add on to the house, or build a new one.”

  “I can see from the cottages that you’re a talented builder.”

  “Thanks.”

  “He’s also a talented furniture designer. He makes items from reclaimed wood. We used headboards he made in the two completed cottages. You’ll have to get him to show you his workshop.”

  “I’d like that,” Luke said. He nodded at the soda in Cam’s hand. “I thought you said it was happy hour. You’re not keeping up.”

  “I don’t drink – anymore,” Cam said. “I’m in AA.”

  Luke wanted to kick himself for his careless statement. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Don’t worry about it. Joining AA was the smartest thing I’ve ever done, aside from asking Scarlet to marry me. Besides, some of the best people in Minnewasta go to AA. Just ask Reese.”

  Luke set his can o
n the counter a little harder than he’d intended. “Reese is in AA?”

  The grin left Cam’s face. “I’m sorry. I assumed you knew. I wouldn’t have said anything otherwise.”

  “No, Mom’s never mentioned it.”

  Thinking back, he remembered that whenever Reese and his mother were in California and he offered them wine, Reese would always decline, saying he wasn’t a wine drinker. He hadn’t thought anything of it. Why wouldn’t his mother mention something as important as her husband’s alcoholism?

  “Reese is a great guy. He’s helped me through some rough patches. I don’t know where I’d be without him.”

  “I’ve never seen him drink, ever,” Ethan said. “I gather he’s had his drinking under control for years.”

  If his mom died, would Reese turn to alcohol again? One more thing to worry about.

  “I have nothing but respect for Reese. We grew up with an alcoholic father who never accepted any responsibility for his alcoholism. He blamed everyone but himself for his problems. Our father was a mean, angry drunk. He was especially hard on Cam,” Ethan said.

  “I was angry with him for a lot of years, but I’ve recently come to terms with my feelings,” Cam said with a sigh. “When my daughter was born, I swore I wouldn’t make her life the hell my father had made mine, so I went to AA. She saved my life.”

  “I hope that when Harper and I have kids I can be as good a father as you,” Ethan said.

  Cam clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks, E.”

  Luke’s respect for Cam grew. Overcoming an obstacle like alcoholism was an amazing accomplishment. And ending the cycle of abuse was even more amazing.

  He wondered which was worse – growing up without a father or growing up with an abusive, alcoholic one. He was certain both left scars.

  “My father didn’t care enough to stick around. Maybe you know him. He’s back in Minnewasta now. Jerry Fields.” He told them about his encounter with Jerry and his family.

  “Yeah, I’ve met him. We joined the local Chamber of Commerce around the same time. He seems like a good guy but then, he’s not my dad.” Ethan paused to sip his beer. “I can’t begin to explain why Jerry wasn’t around while you were growing up. You can’t change anything about the past, but you get to choose what your connection with him is going to be in the future.”

  Ethan had a point. Luke could choose to ignore Jerry for the rest of his life, or he could salvage some kind of relationship with him.

  Jerry Fields hadn’t been part of his growing up, but he’d helped his mother financially and he seemed eager to get to know him now. He supposed he had to give him some credit. But that didn’t mean he was going to give him a prize for father of the year. Not even close.

  Besides, he had more important things on his mind right now, like getting the lodge in shape for the grand opening.

  And dealing with his mother’s illness.

  He pushed that thought from his mind, not wanting to think about the cancer that was ravaging her body. He lifted his beer can. “I propose a toast. To fathers and sons.”

  “And fathers and daughters,” Cam added.

  Cam and Ethan clinked their cans against his. As nasty as their father might have been, at least they’d known him. He’d never been given that opportunity.

  He downed his beer and wondered if the chance for a father-son reunion had already passed.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Maggie hid out in the kitchen, needing the comforting surroundings to soothe her bruised heart. She heard Luke leave the lodge with Cam and Ethan and sighed in relief. For a little while, at least, she wouldn’t have to hear how sorry he was that he’d kissed her.

  To hell with his apologies and to hell with him.

  She pulled cookie sheets and bowls from her cupboards, preparing to indulge in her favorite form of stress relief – baking cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. Everything but gingerbread.

  She rolled her eyes, knowing that omitting Luke’s favorite cookie was childish. He probably wouldn’t even notice. Damn it.

  After gathering her ingredients from the fridge and the pantry, she threw butter and sugar into the mixer and pulsed until a ball of buttercream formed. As she added vanilla and eggs for the chocolate chip cookies, some of the tension eased from her shoulders. There was something therapeutic in the simple act of baking.

  Scarlet entered the kitchen and sat at the counter. “Hey. What are you making?”

  Maggie stifled a pinch of annoyance. She’d needed to be alone for a few minutes, until she could process her feelings. Apparently, that had been too much to hope for. “Cookies.”

  Scarlet waited a beat, as if she expected her to say more. Maggie was sure she heard her sister sigh before she spoke again. “Cameron and I have finalized our guest list. There’ll be forty people for dinner, including the bridal party. Did I tell you Cameron asked his nephew Drew to be a groomsman? He’s going to be paired with you.”

  Maggie wanted to groan. Drew had made his interest in her crystal clear last summer at Harper and Ethan’s wedding. But it was an interest she didn’t return. “Wonderful.”

  “Come on, be nice. Drew’s a good guy, and he has a big crush on you.”

  “He’s too young for me.”

  “Only by three years.”

  Maggie removed the bowl from the mixer and added chocolate chips. Sometimes she felt a hundred and four instead of twenty-four. “In boy years that’s at least twelve years of maturity.”

  Scarlet laughed. “Drew’s a nice young man from a good family. You could do worse.”

  Maggie stopped folding in the chocolate chips to give her sister the evil eye. “Did you come into my kitchen to pimp me out or is there another point to your visit?”

  Scarlet put up her hands in surrender. “Okay, I get it. No more trying to fix you up. But you and Drew are still going to be together in the wedding party.”

  Maggie rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

  “I actually wanted to talk to you about the dinner. You’re in the wedding party. You shouldn’t have to cook as well. I was thinking we should get Miller’s Golf Resort to cater.”

  “Over my dead body.” She slapped her spoon onto the stainless-steel countertop, splattering cookie dough over the pristine surface. “I managed the food for Harper’s wedding. Wasn’t it good enough for you?”

  Scarlet blinked at her. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated to make all the food again. But hey, if you want to be a martyr, be my guest.”

  “I can handle it.” She gritted her teeth, trying to tamp down her anger and frustration. “Even if you don’t believe in me.”

  “I never said that. What the hell is the matter with you?”

  Harper entered the kitchen. “What’s going on? I could hear the shouting from my office.”

  Scarlet pointed at Maggie. “She’s being ridiculous. You talk to her.”

  Harper picked up the spoon, swiped a bit of the dough from the counter with her finger and stuck it into her mouth. “Making cookies?”

  “Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.” Maggie used a small scoop to slap small lumps of dough onto the sheet.

  “How did your visit with Abby go?”

  Maggie’s hand stilled over the cookie sheet. “It was…”

  Her throat closed with tears and sorrow washed over her, not only for Abby, but for the tangled mess her relationship with Luke had become. How had a bond once so beautiful turned into something to be sorry about? Fresh humiliation swamped her.

  “Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Scarlet circled the counter and wrapped her arms around her. “I forgot you went to see Abby today. Forgive me.”

  She sniffed against Scarlet’s shoulder. “Nothing to forgive. I’m sorry, too.”

  Harper silently rubbed her back while she drew comfort from Scarlet’s embrace. She blew her nose with the tissue Harper offered her.

  “What if we plan the dinner together and buy the food?” Maggie dabbed at her eyes. “I can prepare as much as possible i
n advance, and then Miller’s staff can put the finishing touches on the meal and serve. It’s basically what I did for Harper’s wedding.”

  Scarlet brushed a tear from her cheek. “That would be perfect. I want you to have some fun, too.”

  “Thank you.” Fresh tears threatened, but she pushed them back. Her sisters were the two people in the world she could most count on. She’d let herself forget that for far too long.

  “I was thinking,” Harper said. “We need to decorate the lodge for the wedding.”

  “The lodge is pretty already. It doesn’t need anything, other than some flowers,” Scarlet said.

  “Remember how pretty the tent was for your wedding, Harper, with the lights and the flowers and the gauzy ribbons? Scarlet did all that.” Maggie made herself smile for them. “We can’t let her show us up. We have to do something spectacular for her wedding.”

  “You got that right.”

  “You two aren’t competitive at all, are you?” Scarlet grumbled, but her grin told them she really didn’t mind.

  “The wedding is three weeks before Christmas. What does every house need at Christmas?”

  “A Christmas tree?” Maggie said.

  “Right,” Harper said with a nod. “I haven’t had a Christmas tree since Grampa died, but this year I want a great big, huge pine from our property that we cut down ourselves.”

  “We can decorate it with Grandma’s old ornaments. You said you boxed them up, didn’t you?” Scarlet asked.

  “Yeah, they’re in the spare bedroom of our cottage along with the boxes of Mom’s and Grandma’s photo albums. I’ll get Ethan to bring them to the lodge,” Harper said. “I haven’t gone through all the Christmas ornaments or the albums. To tell you the truth, I’ve been afraid to. Too many memories.”

  Scarlet nodded. “We’ll tackle them together. It won’t be so hard that way. And let’s get some new things for the tree, too. We’ve been looking back for too long. Let’s look forward for a change.”