The Accidental Witch

by Jessica Penot

  This time, I was silent. I couldn’t even imagine living that long. These days, it seemed like people could hardly bear living half a normal life. It was hard to imagine wanting to live forever or being able to stand living forever.

  “That must suck,” I commented.

  Fred laughed. “Most of the time, it does. It was a choice I made a long time ago, but it is too late to change now. I try to make the best of it.”

  “Okay. So now I know where I stand.” I said. “Are all spellcasters immortal or was I right? Is this secret special?”

  “I was taught this secret by my teacher and as far as I know, only she and I know it,” he said. “There are a few other immortals, a very few, but they don’t say how they became immortal. Immortality isn’t the kind of secret you share. My teacher wouldn’t have shared it with me if she could have helped it.”

  “Who was your teacher?” I asked.

  “She’s dead,” he said.

  “Did you kill her?” I asked.

  Fred didn’t answer.

  “Why did you come here? Why did they send you?”

  “The Guild sent me.”

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  There was a moment of silence. He was considering his answer. “I came because I’m the only one outside of the Church capable of this job. I didn’t want to come here. Your mother and I have a history and I wouldn’t go near her or her offspring willingly unless forced. Now that I am here, I know that it had to be me here. It is fate.”

  “Fate?”

  “There is something happening here that we aren’t seeing yet. I sense more magic than just yours in the events that have taken place and I believe that for what is ahead, you and I will have to work together. It is fate.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because if we are going to fight Abaddon, we will need to trust each other. He will try to seduce you and you will be tempted. He will try to convince you I am the bad guy. He will try turning us against each other. I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?”

  “As much as I can trust anyone,” I answered.

  “I guess that’s better than nothing,” he said. “Now we need to find an oracle. That is usually much easier said than done. Your local guild doesn’t by any chance have an oracle, does it?”

  “Yes,” I said. “But she hates being an oracle.”

  “They all do,” Fred said.

  The car turned and we drove back through the darkening town. If it was possible, Dismal looked even more faded. Windows were cracking and shingles were falling off of the houses. The trees were drooping and the streets were practically deserted. Everything was in decay. There was a little girl crying on the curb. Fred stopped and looked at the little girl. He didn’t roll down his window and kept a safe distance from her.

  I could tell by looking at Fred that something was wrong. He wasn’t sure what to do. In any normal circumstance, I would have leapt out of the car and tried to find out if she needed help. But I realized, in the fading town mired in the darkness of a demon, there might be more than meets the eye in a weeping four-year-old on the street corner. The girl might be more than she seemed. On the other hand, she might also be a girl who desperately needed our help.

  “Fuck it,” I said and I got out of the car and walked over to the girl.

  “Are you okay?” I asked her. The little girl looked up at me with tear-filled brown eyes. There was blood on her shoe. I knew the girl. She had been one of my patient’s daughters. The girl recognized me and ran to me. She practically tried to scale me.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Mommy won’t wake up,” the girl said.

  I looked back at Fred. Fred shook his head. I knew my house would be safe. It was a sacred place, which protected it from decay. The demons could enter, but they couldn’t drain. On the other hand, the girl’s mother might need help. I started toward the girl’s house. Fred jumped out of the car and grabbed me and shook his head.

  “It’s too dangerous now,” he said.

  The little girl in my arms began to sob. Her body trembled in my arms. Something was coming at us from behind me. I could tell that it was horrid from the look on Fred’s face. I turned slowly to see what was creeping up behind me.

  It wasn’t Abaddon, but it smelled like him. It was also covered in the same puke green slime that had encased the frog demon. This creature, however, had an almost humanish form. Somehow, that only made it more disgusting.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “One of Abaddon’s legion,” Fred said. “He’s growing more powerful if he’s able to bring his minions over.”

  Fred walked toward the creeping creature. He walked slowly. I stood behind him, watching him. He placed his hand on one of the tattoos on his arm and whispered something under his breath. A spark came from his hand as he walked. The spark seemed to slide down his arm and out of his fingers and as he walked, the current grew stronger. Finally, he reached out and pointed at the approaching monster, and lightning leapt from his fingers in a violent stream. It shocked the monster and the monster fell. It wasn’t dead, as demons can’t die since they have no soul, but they can be destroyed. It lay on the ground and Fred walked up to it and placed his hands on it. The demon screamed and dissolved into smoke.

  He stood in the darkness for a minute before he turned and began walking back. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his hands on it. He walked past me without looking at me and got back in the car. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed 911. I wasn’t leaving the little girl on the street and I didn’t care how bad things were getting. I told the 911 responder about the little girl and her mommy and then I got back into the car with the little girl.

  Fred started to drive away, but I stopped him.

  “We have to wait,” I said. “We have to make sure her mom is okay.”

  “The longer we wait,” he said, “the more of those things will come. It’s you they want.”

  “I know, but you seem perfectly capable of taking care of them,” I said. “I know you’ll protect me.”

  Fred smiled. “I didn’t think modern women said things like that.”

  “Normally,” I said, “we don’t, but until I know what I’m doing, I’ll gladly take your protection. That was amazing, by the way. Can you teach me that?”

  “It is up to The Guild to decide on your teacher,” he said.

  The little girl began to cry again and I held her. “It’s all right,” I said. “The police will be here soon. You’ll be safe.”

  I could hear the sirens in the distance.

  “We need to leave,” Fred said.

  The power in the houses around us flickered and went out, leaving us in complete darkness. Fred shifted nervously in his seat. The sirens grew louder. The car died. The darkness around us grew. Abaddon’s smell filled the car. I set the girl down in the seat next to me and tried to see what was happening outside the window.

  The police pulled up beside our car and I drew in a deep breath. Fred didn’t look relieved, but I did. I took the girl’s hand and got out of the car with her. I spoke with the officers and explained what had happened. The girl told the officers about her mother. The officer thanked me as the ambulance pulled up. The EMS staff ran into the girl’s home. They brought the girl’s mother out on a stretcher. I took a deep breath. She was alive. Thank God she was alive. I smiled and the police took the girl and smiled at me. As the ambulance pulled away, the officer told me not to worry. The girl’s mother had just passed out drunk.

  I couldn’t have been happier. I was grateful for normal problems, the kind of problems I had dealt with at the hospital. Drunks who passed out, leaving their children unattended suddenly seemed like a happy problem. It was something I could fix. The girl’s mom would be on the psych floor tomorrow. If I still worked at the hospital, I would help her. I missed those days. Drunk mothers seemed a lot easier than stinky old demons and their snot-covered legions.
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  I went back to the car. The engine had started and the lights were back on. Fred gave me a caustic glance and drove away.

  * * *

  Fred wanted to go straight to Diane’s, of course. It was late, but Diane was a night owl. I wouldn’t normally have done this to her, but this was an emergency. Diane lived in a house in the tiny, historic district pressed up against the square. It was a cute house made of red brick and surrounded by flowers. It was quiet, but the lights were on.

  We knocked on the door. It took a few minutes, but Diane finally opened the door. She didn’t look too good. Her usual radiant beauty had faded. Her hair hung limply around her face and she had bags under her eyes. She was wearing old sweats and a grubby T-shirt. She invited me in with a forced smile.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked when I saw her. “Are you and the bartender still good?”

  “Oh, yeah,” she said without enthusiasm. “No, we’re fine. I just don’t feel very well. I took the day off today.”

  I looked at Fred. “She isn’t normally like this. What’s wrong with her? Is it Abaddon? Is he doing this?”

  Fred nodded.

  “Who’s your friend?” Diane asked.

  “This is Fred. He’s helping me with a mistake I made.”

  “Oh.” Diane fell onto the couch.

  “How’s the baby?” I asked. She was so thin, I couldn’t imagine her being pregnant. It was the wrong question at the wrong time. Diane started to cry. Her tears were weak, but the emotion behind them was real. I sat down next to her on the couch and put my arms around her. I held her and let her cry into my shirt.

  “Everything was going so well,” she said. “I don’t understand what happened. This is not what I saw. This is not what I saw. The baby just fell out. It just died. Everything is going wrong. It’s not just me. It’s like the entire town is cursed.”

  “The town is cursed,” I said.

  “What?” she answered.

  “It is cursed and I need your help,” I said.

  “Cursed?” she asked.

  “We need your help,” I said.

  “Of course,” Diane whispered. She seemed to be having difficulty even speaking.

  “We need your help as an oracle,” I said.

  She sat up a little and looked at me with eyes that lacked all luster. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know.”

  “I messed up, Diane,” I said. “The reason you’re feeling like this. The reason you lost your baby. It’s all my fault. The reason everyone is feeling like this is because I kind of, accidentally, summoned Abaddon, the giant, stinky, demon general of Hell.”

  Diane laughed like a drunk woman and fell backwards onto the couch.

  “Can you help?” I pleaded.

  “I should hate you now, shouldn’t I? I wanted that baby so bad. I should hate you.”

  “You should,” I answered.

  “I can’t hate you,” Diane wept. “How can I hate you? I’ll help you. I’ll help you however I can.” Diane stumbled and fell over. She caught herself and her tears melted into a kind of hysterical laughter.

  “Are you drunk?” I asked.

  “I felt so shitty,” she said. “I took a muscle relaxer or two to ease the pain.”

  I looked at Fred and he shrugged.

  “Fred has a question for you,” I said.

  “Sure,” she answered.

  Fred sat down across from my fading friend. He put his hand on her shoulder to steady her. She smiled at him.

  “You’re cute,” she said.

  “I am here to consult the oracle,” he said.

  Diane suddenly sat up and her eyes darkened. The drugged silliness faded and her face became almost serene.

  “What question do you bring the oracle?” she asked.

  “How do we banish the demon Abaddon from this world?” Fred asked.

  Diane stood up and raised her chin. A cool breeze passed through the room and the lights flickered. For a moment, it almost seemed as if Diane was glowing.

  “You must find the Phoenix,” the oracle answered in a voice that was completely not Diane’s.

  “Only she can banish him. She will show you the way.”

  “The Phoenix is dangerous. Is there any other way to banish the demon?”

  “Do not question fate, priest,” the oracle said. “Everything that is meant to be, must be. You must find the Phoenix. She is the only one who can help you.”

  CHAPTER 7

  BINDING RUNES

  Diane fell to the ground like some dead thing. I ran to her and lifted her off the floor and Fred helped me move her to the sofa. I held Diane and stroked her hair and Fred went to the kitchen and began making some kind of potion. The scent of Magnolias filled the house. Fred returned from the kitchen with a steaming cup of tea.

  “Help me give this to her,” he ordered.

  I lifted Diane’s head up and held her mouth open. Fred poured the steaming hot mixture between her pale, pink lips. Diane sputtered and she managed to keep some of the liquid down and the rest flowed out and down her chin. Fred gave her more and Diane opened her eyes. She grabbed the cup and drank deeply, like someone dying of thirst. Diane sat up and wiped off the potion that had spilled onto her chin. She looked alert. She looked like herself again. Well, she looked like a messy, tea-sodden version of herself.

  “Shit,” Diane said. “What happened?”

  “A lot,” I answered. She looked at Fred.

  “Who the hell are you?” she asked.

  “He’s Fred,” I said. “The Guild sent him.

  “I remember now,” Diane said. “You used me as an oracle.”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Oh, God,” Diane said. She put her hand on her belly. “I remember. It was like a dream, but it wasn’t, was it? I lost the baby?”

  I nodded.

  “Hell,” she whispered. “I knew it was too good to be true. I knew it couldn’t last. I know my future. Fate doesn’t change. How could I expect more?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  Diane smiled and straightened her hair.

  “That’s life,” she said sadly. “This too shall pass.”

  “It will,” I answered.

  “Damn,” she said grabbing her head, “what the hell is going on around here? It’s like this entire town is possessed.”

  “It is,” I said. “I summoned a demon. Fred is helping me get rid of it.”

  Diane looked up at Fred with an expression I hadn’t seen before. It was something resembling fear. Her eyes narrowed. She knew something about him I didn’t. Her eyes passed over his face and then went down to his arms. Fred had taken his jacket off to make the potion and the tattoos on his arms were exposed. Diane studied the symbols.

  “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?” Diane said and she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into her bedroom.

  “What the hell is going on? What’s an immortal doing in my living room? What are you doing with him?”

  “Immortal?” I asked.

  “They’re spellcasters that sold their souls for immortality. There are like ten of them in the world and none of them are good news. “

  “Fred seems nice enough,” I said.

  “His name is Fred! Are you kidding me? His name is not Fred. The only other immortal I’ve met was your mother and she almost killed me trying to enslave me for my power!”

  “What? You never told me that,” I said.

  “I didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t want you to know how weird your mother is. You had such hope she’d be nice and normal,” Diane said.

  “But you are telling me now because now is a good time to freak me out? Now? I have an ancient toad demon destroying the town and some sort of immortal warlock in the guest bedroom and now you figured was the best damn time to tell me my mother is a fucking freaky evil immortal witch!”

  “No.” Diane calmed down. She took a deep breath. “No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. She’s not evil. Well, she’s not that evil.
She’s just scary as hell and so is Fred, or whatever his name is. I just think you should be careful with him. He’s dangerous.”

  “Really?” I said pretending to be ignorant. “He looks like a dork.”

  “They all do,” she said. “Witches and warlocks with that kind of power don’t advertise it. They’ve been alive so long, they can’t keep up with the fashion. Hell, my grandmother can’t even keep up with fashion and she’s seventy. How much harder do you think it would be for someone that’s over a hundred? What’s he doing here again?”

  “He’s helping me with the toad demon,” I said.

  “That’s why I feel so shitty, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. Do you need me to go with you? Having an oracle with you is always useful. I could help with the toad demon.”

  “I don’t think so. You said, while you were an oracle, that only the Phoenix could help us. I think that means we have to find my mother. Fred says my mother is the Phoenix.”

  “I’m going with you. I’m not leaving you alone with that guy and your mother. I’ll never see you again or when I do, you’ll have already been turned into one of them.”

  “Why would they turn me into one of them?”

  “Immortality is long and lonely. Only a very few witches can survive the process of becoming immortal. You could survive. You are stronger than either of them.”

  “How do you know all this shit?”

  “I’m an oracle. I know everything and I’m coming with you.”

  “Okay.”

  Diane and I stepped back into the living room. Fred was sitting on Diane’s sofa looking at her copy of Style magazine like it was one of Plato’s dialogues. He had a puzzled look on his face that was almost comical. He stood up when we entered.

  “Diane is coming with us,” I said.

  Fred looked at both of us for a moment and then nodded. “We’d better hurry. The decay seems to be spreading.”

  We all piled into Fred’s rented Honda. It was already midnight. This wasn’t how I imagined meeting my mother for the first time. I had been picturing this moment my entire life. I imagined finding her and her giving me some explanation as to how she had always loved me but had never been able to see me.