by Gus Leodas
Laura expected me to come back then running into my arms. The elevator started and wheezed. She saw the top of it through the round window; waited for it to stop. The elevator continued up.
Laura encased in gloom and wetness from her eyes. She couldn’t move, unbelieving I had gone. She remained there a pathetic figure. For the first time in her life, she felt alone and rejected.
Laura shuffled to her apartment, closed the door, leaned against the frame and then wept until her feet rushed to the sofa where she lay and cried until tear ducts emptied. She had concluded I would never leave her, and always love her no matter what she did.
She lay in her empty world for what felt like eternity. Then she picked up the phone and dialed. The other end answered.
“Hello,” said a happy singsong voice.
“Alise, this is Laura.”
“Your ears must be buzzing. We were about to call you.”
“Is Shaba there?”
“In all her glory and splendor. The queen of the Congo will be happy to talk to you. Hold on, I’ll get her.”
“No, wait. Ask her to get on the extension. I need to talk to you both. I have a serious problem. Better yet, I’ll come over. I need to punish Adam and need your help.”
If a personal hell exists, I experienced it the next several days. Instead of going to work on Friday, I sat at bed’s edge still groggy suffering from my decision, as enthusiastic to rise as an eight-hundred pound man asked to run a marathon.
I stayed in my apartment, unshaven, refusing to answer the phone that rang several times including middle of the night. I also shut the answering machine. The caller was Laura. I avoided speaking to her, refusing to hear her voice fearing I would weaken again when it came to her.
After all my thinking, the twisting and turns, torture and anguish, my decision reduced to a simple statement. Even if she did have an affair with Judy, maybe she lied and eventually tells me the truth…so what? How important was it if true? The decision evolved down to a simple premise, the simple questions and meat of the matter – How much did I love Laura? What was forgivable and unforgivable? Can I forgive regarding Bender and Judy? That was difficult to accept. The depth of my love for Laura was no different from Alise’s love for Ali. Again, how much did I love her?
I needed to be with her.
Period.
Hard as I tried, labels like weak or strong were irrelevant when it came to Laura. When I arrived at that conclusion, I compromised and called her. I had to try to accept her cause, and bury and suppress my opposing principles. I had weakened again.
It was Sunday night, ten o’clock – one hell of a long weekend to make a full circle. When she answered the phone, I tried to appear cheerful.
“Hi. You still want to go to away?”
“Adam! Oh, honey, I’m so happy to hear your voice. I tried to reach you several times. I’m sorry I upset you so.”
“Forget it. How are you?”
“Better, much better now. How was your private weekend?”
“I thought only of you,” I admitted.
“What have you concluded?”
“I never want to go through another weekend without you.”
“Good. I owe you a weekend and you owe me one. Let’s make them up next week. Let’s see how nice making up is. Where?”
“Anywhere, as long as we’re alone. What do you suggest?” I asked.
“How about pitching a tent over my bed?”
“No, no.” I laughed although that was always my idea of utopia. “All you have is sex on the brain. Shame on you…a nice girl like you talking sex. Let’s get away, a new change of geography.”
“I have a perfect place. Asmir and Jasmine rented a house in the Catskills, and very secluded. How does that sound?”
“You have a date.”
“I’ll pick you up at the airport on Saturday. My car needs a long drive. You should take off the following Monday then we’ll have three days.”
“Excellent idea.”
“I’m happy you called.”
“I love you, Laura.”
“Not as much as I love you. I was scared I was going to lose you. Don’t do that again to me.”
I found that ironic because I weakened first.
“I promise. I won’t.”
“We’re set for Saturday?”
“Sure. Why don’t we make it Friday? I can come up, sleep over then we can leave first thing in the morning.”
“I prefer you come up Saturday. Okay?”
I wasn’t about to push for answers that could lead to friction. I trusted whatever her reason. “Whatever you say.”
“It’s nothing mysterious, but convenient for me on Saturday. I have a million things to take care of Friday. Talk to me about anything. I need to hear your voice.”
We talked for an hour, never mentioned Bender or Judy Heller, principles or causes or anything to dampen our hunger for each other’s voices. We talked about our families. Laura’s parents and two brothers and families lived in the Los Angeles area, my parents and two sisters and families in the Albany, New York area.
During the week, we talked for hours. She talked more. On Wednesday, she admitted her affair with Judy Heller. I felt like an iron pipe smashed my head. The subject became easier to admit over the phone than in person was. Although distressed, I valued her honesty.
The coming weekend meant spending quiet days with Laura and Mother Nature; secluded, private – in the Catskill Mountains.
You can guess what I planned to be doing much of the time.
BOOK OF THE SORORITY
‘My punishment is greater than I can bear’.
Genesis 4:13
Laura encountered the Saturday morning traffic on the Grand Central Parkway as she neared LaGuardia Airport. A few minutes later, she saw me waiting by the shuttle’s main entrance. The blue Mustang maneuvered between cars, cabs, and buses towards the entrance as I approached her. I heaved the overnight bag in the back seat. We kissed with rushed yearning to avoid delaying traffic and the wrath of an advancing police officer for stopping in a restricted zone. I leaned back and admired her as she concentrated on leaving the terminal area.
“I thought this was going to be a casual, relaxing weekend.”
“It will be. What makes you think different?”
“You’re dressed to go out for an evening.” She wore a champagne color dress.
“I want to look nice for you.”
“You look nice to me in rags.”
“If it’s making you uncomfortable I can change into something else.”
“We are going to that house in the Catskills, aren’t we? All my clothing is no better than what I’m wearing.” I wore faded jeans and a blue shirt.
“You’re dressed perfect.”
I opened the glove compartment looking for an absent road map. “Do you know how to go?”
“I have directions. What time is it?”
“Ten-fifteen. You should get a GPS.”
“Someday. I’d like to arrive by twelve-thirty.”
“Is there food at the house? Shall we stop and shop?”
“Plenty. Jasmine overstocked. Should we need anything, we’ll drive into the nearby town.”
Laura crossed RFK Bridge and headed for New York Thruway in moderate traffic. She turned on to Route 17 then swung north on Route 42 towards the Catskill Forest Preserve. Just before Grahamsville, she turned into an unpaved road on the other side of a deserted railroad siding. The dirt road soon changed to paved and we followed its winding course through a forest for about a half-mile. The pine scent dominated.
“This is Daniel Boone country, Laura. Are you sure this is the right road?”
“This is the only road after that siding. We should reach a wooden bridge soon. And…there it is. We take the right fork after the bridge.”
Dirt and gravel covered the right fork. I craned my neck expecting to spy the cabin. I saw the structure and my mouth dropped at the unexpected. The hou
se was an old, charming, large two-story house with a wraparound porch. That’s not what surprised me. The five cars did – Cadillac, Mercedes, Lexus, Lincoln and a Toyota.
“What is this? I thought we were going to be alone.”
She didn’t respond.
She looked serious and I noticed. I grew suspicious. Why did she say a private weekend? Why was she dressed? Why were people here?
“What’s going on?”
She parked the car, shook her head, and opened the door.
“Come along and leave the bags.”
I became annoyed – another unexpected curveball from Laura’s never ending bin of surprises. Why must she always be different? What is she up to now? I left the car with trepidation and probed for signs of life. The locale was quiet as the sun streaked through trees and thick foliage and glimmered on a large pond to the right. The pond hardly rippled reflecting surroundings through a fine dust layer. Birds chattered somewhere. A wild turkey with six offspring in single file marched through the woods on the left. The white house’s green shutters and windows needed painting.
Laura reached the three wooden steps to the porch. I remained by the car surveying as if standing in a minefield. She opened the squeaking screen door. A gash in the lower left hand corner was about four inches long, closer to five.
“Adam, come on.” She waited for me, annoyed. Bothered with Laura’s attitude change, I approached the cars and probed inside. The Toyota had a turned over sign on the dashboard, and that was curious.
I climbed the steps wary to cross the threshold. She held the door for me.
“Is this a surprise, somebody’s birthday?”
“No. Go ahead in,” she ordered.
I stood at the doorway hesitant to go in until my eyes adjusted to the inside. The first cautious step felt heavy. I saw no one. A wooden winding stairway led upstairs. To the left was a dining room with Vermont furniture and to the right a spacious living room. Laura led into the living room. No one there either. I entered suspicious. The room’s furniture was rattan with flower pattern seat covers; floors were polished oak; windows, clean with drapes hung neat; a faint scent of a fragrance candle.
The furniture arrangement struck me as strange. By the fireplace were six chairs behind two abutting long tables and a solitary chair in the middle of the room. The other furniture abutted walls and under windows.
Laura closed the door and watched my confusion and curiosity. Another door led to the kitchen and a third to the family room, the tables between the closed doors. I turned to Laura.
“Why so mysterious?” She didn’t answer. “Where’s everybody whoever they are? What are you concocting this time?”
Laura remained mysterious as she approached the sofa against the wall and sat. For the first time I felt uneasy with Laura – distrustful. What was she up to? I approached, sat next to her, and noticed the sadness in her eyes. I grasped her shoulders and twisted her body towards me.
“What is this? What are you doing? Why do you continue as a challenge, determined to drive me to drink?”
Expressionless, she said, “Go and sit in the chair, now. You’re wasting time.” The order was a firm command. She pointed to the solitary chair in the middle of the room.
“What the hell for?”
“Don’t be difficult. Go and sit then I’ll tell you.”
I didn’t know what to think. What was her game? What was going on? Reluctant, I left for the chair and sat, minus a dunce cap.
I spread my mocking arms. “All right.” I slapped my knees. “I’m sitting. What now? Who owns all those cars? Is someone here? Are we waiting for someone, or this chair is where I spend my quiet weekend?”
“Don’t act sarcastic. They belong to hunters. Sometimes they park their cars here and go hunting.”
“It’s not the hunting season. That’s in the fall.”
“Then they must be fishermen. There’s a lake nearby about a half-mile away.”
“How terrific!” I slapped my knees again. “A crowd on a secluded weekend amidst a public parking place, and it looks like a wealthy one. Will you please tell me why I’m sitting here like a dunce? Did I fail in something? Do I get a dunce cap? What? Give me a damn answer.”
About to end the nonsense by rising, I sat surprised when the door from the kitchen opened.
Pilar deLorenzo appeared in the doorway serious and silent, dressed formal…like Laura.
Confused, I turned to Laura, who stared at the floor. Pilar approached the tables and chairs and sat towards the middle.
“Hello, Pilar,” I greeted. “Nice to see you again.”
Pilar ignored me. Laura remained solemn. As soon as Pilar sat, the door opened again and Shaba entered wearing diamond jewelry, dressed expensively. She sat next to Pilar. She didn’t look at me so I didn’t say hello.
The door opened again. Alise framed the doorway, looked at me as if she hated me, and sat next to Shaba. She, too, wore diamonds, and expensively dressed. I looked at Laura for answers. Laura remained distant, as I sat like a dummy, baffled. I thought it best to keep quiet and allow the ‘charade’ to unfold.
Why cold shoulders from all?
The door opened again. Kim entered and sat next to Alise. Then the family room door opened. Jasmine entered and sat on Pilar’s other side. Shortly after, Asmir, dressed in an elegant Indian outfit came in and sat next to Jasmine.
All wore serious expressions.
Then the main door to the room opened. I turned. I didn’t recognize the well dressed man who closed the door and stood as a guard. Tomayo deLorenzo stared at me.
Turning to the family room door, I saw Dr. Tao Soom wearing a white medical smock and holding a hypodermic needle, enter the room, and sit in a chair under the window.
I grew nervous, uncomfortable. All doors to the room were closed. What’s going on? What’s with the needle? All the women wore their Achilles Hearts. I couldn’t stand the mystery any longer and had to say something, anything to confront their cold and alien attitudes.
I wasn’t a stranger.
“I’m delighted to see you all again, but I have never met the gentleman.” I looked at Tomayo.
Pilar responded. “Mr. Adam Churchill his identity is irrelevant to this committee hearing.”
“Hearing? Committee hearing? What is this nonsense?”
“I advise you to accept this hearing as serious. You know about committee hearings. Your work exposes you to them. This is a committee hearing. No different from those familiar to you. I’m the chairperson.”
I stood, defiant. “I don’t know the game, but I’m no longer playing.”
I turned to head towards Laura. The gun Tomayo pointed at me immobilized me. Tomayo waved the gun suggesting I sit. I did, no longer a game. I tried to calm my racing heart and gain mind control before the unknown overwhelmed me. I was in trouble, didn’t know why, and needed to think clearly.
“Why are you all here?” I asked Pilar. “You’re interfering with my weekend.”
Pilar replied. “And you are interfering with our future. This committee knows of your activities regarding certain action undertaken by Laura Johnson. You know those events. We know you disapprove and are aware of our association, what our symbol stands for, and its aims in the areas of hunger and poverty. The problem is this organization cannot afford an outsider knowing its personal achievements. Many questions may arise about accomplished deeds. In essence, you are a threat. Our purpose today is to decide on a solution. You stated to Laura that you would have her arrested for her own good. For her good, we cannot allow that. We must protect our cofounder and leader. We have questions and like your Senate hearings, we will take turns asking them. We want prompt answers. Forgive our haste, but we have an important function to attend after this business concludes. Please be considerate with prompt answers.”
“And if I don’t answer promptly what will happen?” I answered a bit sarcastic.
Pilar leaned forward and looked at me sternly. “If yo
u encumber the working of his hearing, we will shoot you and bury you in the woods, or take you to the lake and sink your body with weights in the deepest part.”
Pilar looked towards Tomayo.
I glared at the gun.
“You’re crazy! If you’re serious, you’re all insane!”
None stirred or spoke. They were serious. I couldn’t believe they had turned into monsters – another Laura disaster. She poisoned their minds.
“The questioning will be brief, unlike your longwinded hearings,” Pilar said.
“What happens if I answer all your questions promptly?” My question had arrogance.
“Then we pass judgment on you sooner. You will receive your sentence faster.”
“Sentence?”
Pilar answered, “You’re an obstacle to our cause. Yet, we will show fairness by offering options. You select the sentence of your choice.”
“This whole thing is mad.”
“Shut the hell up Adam!” Laura hollered. “You’re wasting time.”
That settled it for me. This was no game.
Pilar began the questioning.
“Are you aware of the organization Laura belongs to?”
“I already told you or did you tell me?”
“Answer the questions without arrogance.”
Terrorized by the gun, I had no choice but to let this ‘hearing’ unfold. Rebelling and defiant with them, I believed, would be futile. “If you mean the one with the Heart you all belong to? Yes.”
“Do you subscribe to its aims and goals?”
“If this is a hearing. Shouldn’t I have a lawyer?”
“You’re a lawyer. Represent yourself. Don’t waste time with trivia. Do you subscribe to its purpose?”
“I think ending starvation and hunger is an excellent aim and a commendable effort worth the time. I don’t subscribe to anything else beyond that.”
“It is never the intent of this organization to deviate from our stated goals.”
“I’m an attorney, bred in law. I disagree with you. I can’t condone Laura’s actions, and you sure as hell are trying to terrorize me here.”