by Gus Leodas
“Thank you. Kim, you’re next,” Pilar said.
“Do you love Laura Johnson?” Kim asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“Then why do you want to hurt her?”
“I don’t want to hurt her or anyone else. I don’t approve what she did.”
“Are you talking about Senator Bender?”
I didn’t want to go in that direction. I hesitated and looked to Laura. Laura ignored me.
Kim said, “I appreciate your delay. I’ll note that your delay was to protect your loved one. We know the whole story. Judy Heller poisoned Senator Bender.”
“She was influenced by Laura.”
“We don’t agree with you.”
“Your prerogative isn’t it?” I said, annoyed again.
Kim looked at Pilar and nodded she had finished. Pilar looked at Alise as approval for Alise to begin her questions.
“How do you know Laura made her poison Senator Bender?”
“She told me.”
“Have you any proof, evidence?”
I looked at Laura staring at me. The room settled into a tense courtroom, now a kangaroo court.
“No.”
“We can conclude it’s your imagination?”
“You can conclude anything you want.” I fought with arrogance, my weapon.
“If you love her as you state you’d believe in her cause, be supportive. Does she look like a killer, so beautiful a person?”
“No, she doesn’t look like that at all. I prefer not to associate with the warmongering aspects. I have other causes like my future.”
“Yet you love her.”
“Yes, and I want her to share my future. I believe she’s learned a lesson and won’t look in that direction again. I’ll make sure she doesn’t.”
Alise nodded to Shaba. Shaba began.
“Adam if you love her as you claim why didn’t you marry her? We wouldn’t meet here if you did.”
“Where are you going with this maniacal questioning?”
“It is relevant to the committee. Your love for her may produce leniency. I will ask you again. Why didn’t you marry her? A husband can’t testify against his wife and won’t if he believed in her cause.”
“I did and still want to marry her. I will always want to marry her. She’s the one who’s putting marriage off.”
Shaba shook her head in dismay. “I’m sorry then. That’s bad, real bad.” She nodded at Jasmine. Jasmine knew the nod as her cue.
“We are nonviolent people by nature, but you have placed us all in serious jeopardy with your attitude concerning Laura’s so called actions. Nevertheless, you’re willing to have us abandon our beliefs to help mankind.”
“I’ll do anything to help you and Laura to help end the starvation crisis. I don’t object to any action or course taken to help the poor and the starving. I vehemently object to murder.”
“Let’s say I had my finger on a button to destroy an entire city. The button would detonate an enormous hydrogen bomb to obliterate the population in that city. You say you’re nonviolent and do not believe in killing. But if it were in your power to stop me from pressing the button would you kill me?”
“Yes. My killing you is justifiable.”
“You would call the act terrorism or murder, aren’t those your labels?”
“There are varying degrees. The example you proposed is different.”
“So you believe in selective and self-serving justice. You’re a hypocrite. Thank you. You have answered for me.”
She had a point. Asmir leaned forward addressing me.
“Do you know what country I come from?”
“India.”
“Correct. And do you know how badly my people are starving?”
“I know about India’s problem, almost as bad as Africa’s.”
“I never cared. I come from wealthy parents and always had it all. This organization opened my eyes to starvation and the inhumane way we treat the poor and the hungry. I want to solve that problem, to make the effort. I will take whatever measures necessary to end my country’s problem and to assure our work continues all over the world, and you’re a threat to our beloved leader.”
“I’m not a threat.”
“You’re not?”
“No. Although I disapprove Laura’s actions, I have no intentions to disrupt your organization. Nor do I intend to tell anyone or care what you do in your own countries. I hope you all succeed in your own way. It’s for the best for your people.”
“We cannot have Laura unhappy or threatened by anyone. We cannot afford to lose her.”
“What is it, a crime to disagree with her?”
“In this instance, yes.”
Asmir leaned back finished. Pilar addressed Laura.
“Laura is there anything you’d like to say to the defendant before we pass judgment?”
Laura’s face buried in a handkerchief. She shook her head saying, “I’m braced to accept the committee’s judgment. I will abide by its decision regarding the defendant.”
The whole scene was insane, surreal.
I was a defendant accepting the hearing as reality.
They could execute me in this desolate place, a victim of their madness. What have once nice people become? Those thoughts terrified me as I tried to appear calm in the chair. Should I try to escape? With that gun, an attempt would be deadly. Tao and Tomayo stared at me, defying me. Laura had turned her head away grieving as if it was my funeral. Appropriate I thought. Obviously, she abandoned me to this fraudulent hearing. How could she allow this to happen? Defiance will aggravate the guy with the gun. I wasn’t enthusiastic about the needle either. What was in it?
“We are ready with the verdict. Please rise to hear the sentence,” Pilar said.
I refused to rise, reluctant, and worried over the unknown punishment.
Pilar continued. “We offer a choice to honor the appeal Laura made on your behalf for leniency. We will be generous and considerate to minimize pain. We offer you three choices.”
Pain? Did she say pain?
“Go ahead. Let’s get this absurdity over with.”
“Choice number one, the fastest method. You go for a walk in the woods with that gentleman,” she pointed to Tomayo. “He’ll shoot you in the back of the head as you’re walking. You won’t know when he’ll fire. It is quiet out here. No one will hear the shot – an unfortunate hunting accident.”
I was struck dumb. The incredibility slumped me in the chair, aghast. “Are you crazy? That’s murder!”
“I asked you to stand. Please rise.” Fear energized my body. I stood. “The doctor will explain choice number two. I believe you know Doctor Soom.”
Doctor Tao Soom approached me.
“The hypodermic needle contains a new drug, an amnesic agent. The drug blocks out memory for a short period or causes temporary amnesia. The drug will erase what you know about this organization. It’s experimental. The drug will erase the past three or four months of your memory. Then I’ll give you a saline injection to restore selective memory. The drug may last longer. It is difficult to control and the saline may not work. When it’s over you will no longer remain a threat. But the dosage may destroy your brain cells and make you a vegetable for life. With this, at least, you’ll live.” My eyes expressed the horror. “Do you understand?” asked Tao.
Pilar prodded in a louder voice. “Please answer the doctor.”
“Oh, er…I understand.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Pilar said. Tao returned to his place. “Desiring to be lenient we have another alternative for you.” Pilar addressed Laura. “Laura, I know this is difficult for you but please stand next to the defendant. It may help his decision by being near the one he loves. After all, we are civilized and want to make this as easy as possible for him.”
Laura stood, put the handkerchief in her purse, and came distressed to my side. She turned and faced the committee without looking at me.
“Laura,” I pleaded
in a whisper. “What have you done to these people with your schemes? You can’t let them do this to me.”
“You’ll make it worse,” she whispered. “It’s out of my control. Be quiet!”
I recoiled and straightened from the unexpected growl.
“Madame Chairperson,” Laura said, “I have another suggestion the committee should consider. I know he must pay a penalty for silence. He has a ravenous appetite for sex and castration will be worse than death to him. This is cruel and unusual punishment but better than death or becoming a vegetable.” She turned to my horrified expression. “I’m trying to save you.”
I looked at her incredulously.
“This is a nightmare! Have you all gone insane?”
“Laura,” Pilar responded. “We shall consider that, a humane option. But first…” Pilar’s mood was somber and serious as she nodded to Kim.
“Kim, would you please go out and bring him in. He’s waiting in the backyard.” Kim left.
I tried to read in each face, who was coming? Who waited outside? What was this alternative? How much worse or better could it be? I looked at everyone around the room again. All faces looked perilous as if the next choice meant impending disaster, the worst.
I could feel it in the air.
I could sense the horror.
I looked at the door.
Waiting.
The door opened.
Kim came in followed by a tall man in his fifties with a gray suit and blue tie holding a Bible. Is he going to give me last rites? No wonder they’re all dressed up. They’re going to my funeral.
My palms sweated. I considered fleeing from this madness and chance escape. The menacing gun kept me glued in place – maybe later at first opportunity. I will never surrender without a fight.
The tall man waited for a cue to act.
Pilar looked at Laura. Laura looked at Pilar.
Pilar began to grin. Laura grinned, then Shaba, then Alise and Kim, and Jasmine and Asmir, and Tao and Tomayo. Kim smiled harder and covered her mouth.
I was confused.
What the hell are they laughing at the sadistic bitches.
I turned to Laura to ask about this freakish thing. She smiled. She tucked her arm beneath mine and kissed me, and trying to restrain from laughing.
Pilar stood and spoke in a loud voice.
“Adam, your next choice is that you marry Laura Johnson!”
“Wooo-weeeee!” shouted Shaba. “Wooo-weeeee!”
“This is Reverend Seaman. Reverend, please proceed with the rehearsal,” Pilar ordered.
Joy spread among the women, Tomayo, and Tao. Pilar called to Tomayo.
“Tomayo put the water pistol away and get the champagne.”
Alise hastened to the tape and stereo console, selected a cassette and put on the wedding march.
I stood stiff as a scarecrow, astounded, serious.
Laura hugged me and laughed.
“Come on. You deserved that scare for walking out on me like that. Since we don’t have a license this is a rehearsal of our wedding.”
“Adam,” said a jovial Shaba. “You should have seen your face when Tao described the drug’s effects on your brain. If you were black you would have turned white.”
They all laughed.
I wasn’t amused.
“We planned this last week,” said Laura. “We rehearsed last night, and why we were able to be serious and why I had you fly up this morning. Did we convince you? Did you like the castration part? I loved it.”
But their mirth waned as my anger became evident.
The reverend looked bewildered.
The others turned confused as their smiles faded.
I pushed Laura away from me, avoided the others, and headed towards the door without changing expression. The anger increased and stabilized, bristling in my eyes.
“Adam, what’s the matter?” asked Laura. “Come on. Lighten up. Where’s your sense of humor. It was all a joke from friends. I thought it was a good idea, a unique way for us to get married, and memorable.”
I stopped and turned to them.
“A joke? You scared the shit out of me and you call that a joke? You people call terror a joke? Your cause nearly killed me in Washington. Damn near killed me! I don’t find that funny.”
The smiles vanished.
Tears came to Pilar as she reached out and held Shaba’s arm tight.
Shaba turned somber.
Alise turned off the music.
The negative boomerang effect brought regret.
My distressing response hit as an invisible slap on every face. My unexpected reaction was painful and received hard. Alise sat with a heavy heart. Kim hid her face with both hands to hide her tears as she looked out behind open fingers. Tao and Asmir hugged her with mutual consolation. Tomayo stepped closer to Pilar. Jasmine didn’t react, waiting for the drama before her to unfold.
My vented anger subsided as I glared at Laura.
“Your cause is stronger than your love for me, becoming obsessive and destructive. You’re not the person I thought or want you to be. I tried…I wanted to forget what happened with Bender and Judy, to set aside my principles. I cannot. Goodbye and to hell with your cause, and your outrageous and sadistic prank.”
I turned abruptly, hesitated then hastened to the sofa and opened Laura’s white purse. I pulled out the car keys then strode out of the room and house slamming the screen door behind me.
I didn’t rush away from the house.
Once outside, I walked outraged down the porch steps to the car. I didn’t hear the birds, or feel the warm sun or focus on the tranquil surroundings. My anger was all consuming, unforgiving. I needed to escape.
I opened the Mustang’s trunk, removed, and placed Laura’s luggage roadside refusing to look towards the house.
I never thought it possible that I would initiate the separation.
The relationship was over and knew I wouldn’t go back to Laura although doubt lingered as I sat behind the wheel. The doubt suspended my mind for ten seconds massaging the residue of pain I will have for losing her. I started the engine and shifted to turn the car around. In the middle of the turn, Laura ran from the house with wet eyes waving a brown purse for attention.
“Adam, wait! Wait!” I stopped, hoping she could find a way to unravel my stubbornness or firmness, as I preferred to call it. She raced to the car. “Adam, don’t do this. What’s the matter with you? Why must you act this way? You’re ruining this day. Come on! It was a joke.”
I refused to look at her tears. “I didn’t ruin anything. You did.”
“I thought you wanted to marry me.”
“I did.”
“And you…you don’t anymore?”
My knuckles whitened as I gripped the steering wheel for self-control. I needed to be firm.
“No more.”
“You can turn off your feelings for me so easily?”
“No. Walking away from you is the most difficult and painful act I will ever do. I can’t stay.”
“Can’t you forgive me? Inside was a practical joke. Why are you difficult? Please, Adam, reconsider.”
Impatient, I opened the door and jumped out of the car, grabbed her by the shoulders, and shook.
“No! Unforgivable! I was terrorized in there. Humor did not exist in there.” I banged the car’s roof with my fist several times to expel anger. Then I shoved her away and got in the car slamming the door.
“I’m sorry. We all regret it. I thought a mock committee hearing would be perfect to punish you for rejecting me last week. I didn’t expect you to react this way. Neither did our guests. They were all concerned about the hearing but I assured them you’d take it in good humor. That is why they agreed. They’re all sorry and embarrassed. It’s my fault. Please forgive me and them.” She leaned in and tried to hug me as she kissed my face. “Don’t do this to me, Adam. You’ll hurt us both if you leave.”
“Get away from me, get away.”
&nb
sp; I looked at her coldly, both hands gripping the wheel.
Stunned at my firmness, her eyes flared.
Her face stiffened with an anger that ascended her mind to a retaliatory response level. A violent plateau to answer my contempt and rejection of her, her friends, and her cause; a response whose seeds germinated when she heard me start the engine; a response emanating madness with the unacceptable reality that I was going to leave…to walk out on their rehearsal prank and her life. Her anger grew and flushed her face.
“Hold it, Adam. Open the trunk. You didn’t take out all my things.”
“I emptied the trunk.”
She whacked my shoulder and screamed, “Open the goddamn trunk!”
I have never seen her face in rage, crazed, or was it sudden hate to reciprocate a rejection. Did she already cross the line solving solutions by violence, a point of no return?
I pushed the trunk release, the trunk unlatched.
She rushed to the rear and opened the trunk. Unseen by me, she reached into the brown purse, pulled out a small round metal case and hid it behind the spare tire. She closed the trunk, returned, held me, and threatened.
“Don’t you dare leave! Don’t you dare do this to me! Don’t you dare!”
“Let go. You belong with them, not with me. They’re your future not me. If it’s any consolation, I won’t say anything about you people. You no longer exist. I don’t care anymore what any of you do or plan to do. Good riddance.”
She released her hold and stepped back, outraged but defeated.
“You’re wrong, Adam. I want you in my future. You are my future.”
“Maybe next week, next month or next year…I’ll call begging to see you again. Today I’m closing the book on our life together. I’m done, overcooked.” The words had difficulty leaving a choked mouth. “I loved loving you. I truly did.” My eyes wet. “I loved loving you.”
“You’re unreasonable. I apologize for the unfortunate joke that alienated you and embarrassed me with my friends. Our friends. Your response is outrageous, alien. Isn’t there anything I can say?”
“Say? Like what? That you love me? That’s the joke. Not what happened inside.” The words came with tears. “Goodbye, Laura. I’ll garage the car. Get a ride home.”