“Safe not smart. And what if you never get over her?” she asks, tipping her head to the side.
“I don’t know what to do. I’m focusing on the shop right now which seems like my best course of action.”
“There’s more to life than business, Josh. There’s nothing I want more than for you to find the woman of your dreams.”
“Elle might not be that person, though.”
“No, she might not be, but you’ll never know if you don’t give yourself a chance to find out.”
We spend the rest of our time catching up and by some unspoken agreement keep the conversational topics of a lighter nature. I miss the time when I got to see my best friend every day, but we’re all adults now, with responsibilities.
Throwing money down on the table, I hold up my hand to halt Janny from pulling her wallet out. “Don’t even think of it.” My voice is firm. “You know there’s no way in hell, I’m going to let you pay for us.”
She smiles sheepishly. “I thought you might let the pregnant lady have her way.”
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” Taking her arm, I match my steps to her slower ones as we make our way outside and onto the sidewalk. We’re parked curbside about a block down the street and with the sun beating down on us so intensely, I’m concerned about Janny. “Do you want to wait inside while I go grab your car?”
She giggles. “I’m fine. Pregnancy isn’t as debilitating as you’re making it out to be. I move slower, but I’m still moving.”
“Just checking. I don’t want to get my ass kicked by Kyle for pushing you to do more than you should be. I can’t have him messing up my pretty face.”
“I think the danger of him punching your face ended a long time ago.”
“Yeah, dude loves me now.”
“I thought once we were engaged he wouldn’t be such a caveman about things, but he was. Then I thought the pregnancy would help lessen his need to ‘mark his territory’. And now, we’re going to have a baby together. Even if we didn’t end up married, we’d still be connected through our child. Nope,” she shakes her head, “still possessive as hell. Now we’re married, we’re tied in every way we can be and it’s still not enough. He barked at the valet parking guy the other night for looking at me. The poor thing was probably trying to figure out how I’m not tipping over with this big belly.” She rolls her eyes.
The sun is hot in the cloudless blue sky, beating down on us. “Come on. Who are you kidding? You love his possessive side. It’s not like you have to doubt how he feels about you. Hell, he’s put his life on the line for you. If that doesn’t say I love you, I don’t know what does.”
She grimaces. “He has and I hope we’re never in another such situation again.”
We stop beside the passenger side of her car. Opening the door for her, I hold her hand as she sinks down onto the warm leather seat.
She smiles up at me. “Thank you, kind sir.”
“Don’t mention it,” I say, closing her safely inside. I move to the driver’s side and slide onto the seat. “Where to, ma'am?” I ask, in my best southern drawl.
“It would be perfect if you can get me back to your place in the next five minutes.”
Frowning, I glance at her. “What’s the rush?”
“I have to pee,” she fidgets moving around on the seat.
“Thanks for the info I didn’t need or want,” I tell her as I pull out into traffic.
“Hey, there’s no such thing as too much information when your best friend is pregnant. You’re lucky I haven’t told you half of what I could’ve.”
“Good, please don’t tell me. You have a husband for sharing that shit.”
“And Elle,” she says.
“And Elle,” I echo, my thoughts immediately conjure up her alluring face. Her warm brown eyes never fail to draw me in, even when they’re only in my imagination. My chest spasms with longing. Craving her is a daily occurrence, a constant need, running through me like the blood streaming through my veins. I haven’t seen her since the grand opening, but the burn of the yearning I feel never seems to lessen.
“Where are we going?” Janny asks as I pull down a small side alley that leads around behind the row of brownstones Canvas is located in.
“I’m taking you in the back entrance so we don’t have to find a parking space.”
“Have I told you how much I love you, lately?”
Parking her car in one of the three assigned spots, I notice Sean’s shiny, black Mustang. He rents the third-floor apartment from me. Living above the studio is more than convenient.
“Next time you come by pull back here and park in this spot. It’s an extra one no one uses.” It’s the space for the tenant of the first floor, but since that’s Canvas it allows me a guest space to use.
“Sweet. No more driving around the block searching for a space. Or parallel parking. Have I told you how much I hate parallel parking?” she asks as I open her door.
I hold out my hand and help her to her feet. “Hell yes, I’m aware how much you hate it. Did you forget how many times I took you out to practice?”
“Oh yeah.” She laughs. “You were really patient with me.”
“I was trying to impress you into going out with me. That’s what did it, wasn’t it?” I flick a glance her way.
“No, it was your dancing.”
“What? You’re joking, right?” I raise an eyebrow. “Yes, but your dancing ability didn’t hurt your chances any.”
I slip the key in the lock and hear Janny gasp behind me.
“Shit,” she mutters.
Looking over my shoulder I take in her expression of surprise and the wetness running down her bare legs. “Jesus, you weren’t kidding when you said you had to pee.”
“Josh,” she huffs, “I didn’t pee. My water broke.”
Panic washes over me and then consumes me as I think about what this means. She’s having a baby. “I need to call an ambulance,” I babble, reaching in my pocket for my phone.
Janny places her hand on my arm. “Josh, calm down. I don’t need an ambulance. I’m going to change into some clean clothes and then I’m going to drive myself to the hospital.”
“Are you sure you have time for that?” I ask, my brow furrowed with concern for her and the baby.
“Yes. I promise, I’m fine. I’ve got a bag with extra clothes in the trunk. If you want to help me you can grab it for me.”
Snapping into action, I do as she asks. She’s on the phone with Kyle filling him in on what’s happening. “Calm down, honey. It’s all under control.” She rolls her eyes at me with a smile. I can hear Kyle’s excited tone from where I stand a few feet away. “No, I’m not even having contractions yet. Let me go change and I’ll meet you at the hospital.” There’s a lull in her side of the conversation, before she replies. “Josh will drive me,” she tells him, but her expression is a question aimed in my direction.
“Damn right, I will.” I step beside her and open the door, ushering her inside out of the heat.
“I love you too,” she tells Kyle and then ends the call. Blowing out a large breath she drops her phone in her purse and follows me up the staircase. “Show me to the nearest bathroom so I can change.” She grimaces and rubs her stomach. “By the way, I totally lied to my husband when I told him I’m not having contractions.”
“What?” I bark over my shoulder. “The bathroom is right here.” I set her bag on the floor inside.
She pats my arm as she passes by. “Calm down Josh. You’re not going to have to deliver a baby today.”
* * *
Three hours later and I’m still sitting in the waiting area, with no information of what’s going on. Staring down at my sketchpad, I try to concentrate on the tattoo I’m drawing, but my mind is all over the place. I thought working would help pass the time and keep me from worrying about Janny, but it’s not providing the distraction I’d hoped.
“Josh, what’s going on?” Elle breathlessly questions as she
hurries over. My eyes raise, tracing over the pink flush of her cheeks like my detailed pencil strokes on paper.
“Josh, please tell me what’s going on.” She lowers onto one of the uncomfortable blue plastic seats next to me, her hands clenched together in her lap.
Closing my sketchpad, I tuck the pencil inside and place it on the vacant seat to my other side. “I haven’t heard anything for a few hours now. I drove her here and Kyle met us. They took her away immediately, he followed along and I haven’t seen either of them since.”
“So, everything was okay when you brought her here?” she asks her voice laced with panic.
“Yes, her water had broken, but she was doing great.”
“Oh, thank god.” She closes her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. When her gaze reconnects with mine, she appears calmer. “So, what now?”
“Now, we wait for news.” I drum my fingers on my thigh and bounce my knee up and down repeatedly. All this sitting still is making me agitated. I’m worried about Janny, even though I’m positive she’s in great hands. If someone would come out and tell us what’s going on it would go a long way toward easing my mind.
Minutes pass, the silence stretching out until neither of us knows what to say. The longer we avoid speaking the more awkward it feels. Running my hands through my hair, I tug on the disheveled strands frustrated. When did having a simple conversation with Elle become so arduous? Thinking back, there isn’t one moment in time standing out as the catalyst. Feelings I’d never had for her developed slowly over time. Maybe it was because Janny and Kyle found each other. Was she a convenient substitute once I knew Janny and I were through for good - a way to make myself feel less alone?
Turning, I carefully study her as she leans her head back against the dull white wall. Her long dark brown hair billows around her making a soft pillow. Her eyes are closed and her furrowed brow has me wondering if our proximity bothers her. Is she lost in similar thoughts about me? Does she wonder what could be if we only gave in to the urge to be together and opened ourselves to the possibilities? I don’t often let myself muse over what ifs or what could have been. Life is what we make of it here and now - in the present moments. Looking at Elle, sitting beside me, I’m unequivocally sure she’s not a second choice or a stand in for anyone.
She’s the only choice.
Reaching my hand out, I touch her arm and let my fingers move up and down her bare skin in a slow caress. Her eyes flash open and lock on mine with surprise. “Don’t worry, Janny and the baby are going to be fine,” I tell her, reassuringly.
She nods and her lips move into a small close-mouthed smile. She remains silent, but her eyes appear glassy with tears.
Sliding my hand down to her forearm, I gently pull until she uncrosses her arms. I take her hand in mine, giving a slight squeeze to her fingers. When I rest our connected hands on my thigh, my thumb slowly rubs over her smooth skin, reassuringly.
Both of us remain silent. Neither wanting to be the one to end this peaceful truce we’ve found through our simple connection.
I’m not sure how much time passes as we sit there contentedly enjoying one another’s company. We don’t need words to converse. Words only muddle things for us. If only we could live in a silent world speaking through actions. Our bodies certainly know how to communicate. Remembering how perfect she felt in my arms, how sweet she tasted on my lips is detrimental to my sanity. Don’t think about it.
“Guys,” Kyle’s deep voice calls out.
My eyes snap open and I notice him standing in front of us, smiling from ear to ear.
Elle leans forward, slipping her hand from mine and literally waits on the edge of her seat for what he’s about to tell us.
Rubbing both hands over my face, I sit up. “How’s Janny?” I ask. My concern for my best friend is at the forefront of my mind.
“They’re both great,” he answers with a grin. “Congratulations, you guys now have a niece, Lily. She’s perfect, like her mom.”
Elle shrieks excitedly. I jump to my feet, shaking his hand and pull him in for a hug. “Congratulations, man. I’m relieved it all went well.” I step back as Elle launches herself into Kyle’s arms.
“Congratulations, daddy. I can’t believe I’m an auntie. I love the name Lily; it’s perfect.” The two of them part and Kyle still has a grin plastered on his face. I don’t think he’ll be losing it any time soon.
“I need to get back to the room. I told Janny I’d come out and update you guys. If you want to wait around a little while you should be able to see them. Or you can come back later.”
Glancing at the round clock on the wall, I notice the time. “I’m going to cut out of here soon, but I’ll be back tonight or tomorrow at the latest. I have a few tattoos scheduled so I need to head to the studio.” Patting the front pockets on my faded jeans, I find Janny’s keys and pull them out. “Here, I forgot to give these to you earlier.”
“Yeah, my mind was definitely on other things. Are you sure you don’t need her car?”
“I already made arrangements for a ride. I can drop it off at your house tomorrow if you need me to.”
He takes the keys from me, pocketing them. “Thanks, I might take you up on your offer. I’m gonna get back to my girls.” He flashes us a blinding white grin.
“Please congratulate Janny for me and tell her I’ll visit as soon as I can.”
“Will do, man.” We bump fists.
“I’m staying. There’s no way I’m leaving before I see my niece,” Elle informs him with a wink. “Come grab me, when it’s okay for me to visit.”
“I’ll do that.” He spins around, hurrying back to his family. My chest tightens with happiness for them and if I’m honest with myself I can admit there’s some feelings of envy intermixed too. He has what I want...someday.
Elle slams into my chest, surprising me. Her thin arms wrap around my back and mine do the same without conscious thought, closing her in tight. “I can’t believe we have a niece,” she says, her voice muffled against the faded cotton of my t-shirt.
Running one palm up and down her back while the fingers of my other hand move up to cradle the nape of her neck. Her silky tresses tease their way through my fingers and I fight the urge to wind them around the long length until I can tug her head back and claim her lips as mine.
She raises her face. Is she cognizant of my thoughts?
Resting her chin on my chest, her coffee colored gaze flecked with golden embers captivates me. Full pink lips taunt me with every passing second. Every inhale and exhale is synced, our hearts drumming out each longing filled beat. The rest of the world is forgotten as we breathe each other in. We’re connected on a level I’ve never experienced before and as much as I fight my feelings for her, she’s in my veins...burning...pulsing...throbbing.
Exquisite torture. That’s what Elle Johnson is to me.
How do I resist when she’s everything I want?
Pulling her closer, my head lowers. She rises on her toes, fingers pressing on the back of my neck, urging me on. The heat of her breath on my face makes my stomach tighten with desire. Her lids lower as I press my lips to hers. So fucking warm and soft, I want to be connected with her forever. Mouth moving under mine, she’s as hungry for my taste as I am for hers.
“Josh.” Not now, goddamn it. “Josh.” Fuck. Talk about bad timing.
Elle pulls away, abruptly and raises a hand to her lips. Her eyes go wide like a teenager caught kissing when she notices who called my name.
“Liberty.” My eyes swing in her direction and watch as she studies Elle before looking at me.
“Are you ready to go?” she asks, without apologizing for interrupting us.
Glancing at the clock, I realize I need to leave now or I won’t make it in time for my first client. “Yeah, I am.” I want to speak with Elle, but I don’t have time to say everything I need to. Besides, this isn’t the time or place for the conversation we should have. “Will you be here later?” I ask, Elle.
/>
Her shoulders move up and down in a shrug. “I’m not sure.”
“I’ll see you tonight or tomorrow.” I stare at her wanting her to realize how much I’d like to see her.
“Maybe.”
Chapter Twelve
Elle
Affecting indifference around Josh isn’t easy. Each time we’re near one another he chips away at my resistance until I want to catapult into his arms and declare my love for him. When his lips were on mine, I made the decision to throw caution to the wind. Consequences be damned; I wanted to give us a chance.
Then reality once again reminded me in the cruelest way possible I had lost my opportunity. Liberty. Great. I didn’t want to know her name. It was bad enough knowing she exists and means something to him. And, she’s even prettier than I remembered with her light blonde hair and blue eyes. She’s bright like sunshine and I’m dark like mud. It’s impossible to miss the contrast between us and seeing her was the perfect reminder of my place in Josh’s life. Or should I say lack of a place?
“Elle,” Kyle calls my name, interrupting my contemplation. “You can visit now.” He flashes me a smile. I rise to my feet, following, letting myself be encircled by the sheer happiness pouring out of him.
“Janny’s a little tired, but she’s doing great. Lily is sleeping like an angel.” We walk along one beige hallway, before turning down another. He stops mid-way in front of doorway. I notice the white board on the wall outside the room says McKenzie and I smile. My best friend is married and now a mother too. I never would have imagined this scenario. Not in a million years and yet it’s perfect. Janny is right where she belongs and I couldn’t be happier for her.
“Are you ready to meet your niece?”
“Are you kidding? I didn’t think this day would ever come.”
He ushers me into the room before him. I can’t hold in my smile when I see Janny holding baby Lily in her arms. She’s a natural at this.
Janny glances up as I approach, a smile ghosting her lips where they rest on the cluster of blonde hair on Lily’s head.
The Complete Quake Series Page 59