Underestimated

by Jettie Woodruff

  “You, he read my email while I was in the shower.”

  “Is he gone for good or just gone?”

  “Dawson, please don’t do this. I can’t handle either one of you anymore. I’m ready to tell you both to go to hell,” I said walking away.

  “Jesus Christ, Riley. Did he hit you?”

  “What? No.” I said in disbelief. “Why would you say that?”

  “How the hell did you get that enormous bruise on your back then?”

  I didn’t know that I had a bruise. I couldn’t see my back, but I knew exactly what it was from.

  Dawson lifted my shirt a little in the back. “Shit, Ry. What the hell did you do?”

  “I fell on some rocks down by the beach,” I lied.

  “Do you want some ice?”

  “No. I didn’t even know that it was there. I’m fine.”

  “You can’t feel that?”

  “I can now that you pointed it out. Thanks a lot,” I smiled at him.

  He smiled back with his perfect white toothy smile. Son of a bitch. How can you be this in love with two men?

  “Did Drew know who you were?”

  “Oh, he knew alright. I made sure of it?”

  “Oh God, Daw. What did you say to him?”

  Dawson shrugged his shoulders and puckered his lips. Shit. Those damned lips. Okay. I was drunk, that had to be the beer talking, either that or I was seriously beginning to lose my mind.

  “Not much, just that he didn’t deserve you. I let him know that I knew all about his purchase, what he did to you. I made sure that he knew that I was the one there night after night when you woke screaming or crying because of him. And I told him that I love you and that I think that I am more stable and more of the man that you need.”

  “What did he say?”

  Dawson scratched his head. “He’s kind of weird. He said to give you a message and to tell you the quote, when you love something set it free if it comes back to you… you know the one.”

  I laughed. Oh, Drew, Drew, Drew. “Yeah, he is kind of weird,” I agreed.

  “He said he let you go so that you could make a go of it with me. Is that true, Ry?”

  I snorted. “Yeah, I guess so, that’s what he says anyway.”

  “You don’t sound like that is what you want.”

  “I don’t know what I want, Dawson. I am in love with both of you. I want you both.”

  “Well, that’s not going to happen. I’m not willing to share any more than he is.”

  “Yeah, that’s kind of clear.”

  “I think that you need to talk to someone, Riley.”

  “You mean a shrink?”

  “No, a professional that can help you with your feelings for him,” he replied.

  “My feelings for him?”

  “I don’t think your feelings for me are from Stockholm syndrome.”

  I laughed. I had to. I was now a case in Dawson’s eyes. “Stockholm syndrome is when you fall in love with your abuser. I didn’t fall in love with my abuser. I hated him. I fell in love with somebody totally different than that man.”

  “Ry, stop being so naïve. He did horrible, inhumanly things to you for six years. What makes you think that he isn’t going to flip and do it again. It’s obvious that the guys a nut case.”

  “You know what, Dawson? Just stop. You know nothing about Drew Kelley.”

  “I know that you’re getting pissed off and defending the bastard.”

  I shook my head, giving up. This whole thing was hopeless. “Did you come over for a reason?” I asked, annoyed.

  Dawson grabbed me and kissed me. I was shocked. I wasn’t quite sure where his abrupt behavior was coming from. His hands went up my back, and his lips dropped to my neck, my throat, my collarbone, and then my chest.

  That’s it. I’m getting a fucking vagina transplant.

  I was acting like the same maniac that he was, pulling his tucked shirt from his pants, and unbuckling his belt. What the fuck was wrong with me? He lifted my shirt over my head, and I removed my shorts on my own. I swear my vagina overpowered my brain sometimes. Dawson pulled me to the back of the couch and entered me, sending my head back with some sort of preposterous whimper.

  “Oh, God you feel so good,” Dawson murmured. I couldn’t reply. He felt good too, and I was going to come. Shit. I was going to come.

  I came and went. Dawson was still driving in and out of me. What I mean by I went is, I wanted more. I wanted the kinky fuck that Dawson wasn’t going to give me. I wanted him to bend me over the couch and finish in my ass. I didn’t act on my sudden need. I let him finish, and we were finished, no, spanking, no oral, and no backdoor, just raw sex. It was good, don’t get me wrong. Had it been six months ago I would have been satisfied with that. By the time I had landed back in Drew’s tangled web, I was getting used to the love making with Dawson, and had stopped fantasizing about the fucked up sex that Drew and I had.

  Dawson spent the night. We made love again after going to bed. I was gratified once again, and felt like I was right where I belonged as I lay naked in his arms. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. It felt right when I was with Drew, but damnit if Dawson didn’t feel right too. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was going to buy a car the next day and do some traveling. I was going to find my mother and lay that one to rest. I had so many questions for her. I wanted to see her and put that part of my life in the past. I knew that I would have one chance and one chance only. I would never see her again after this. I didn’t want to ever see her again. I drifted off to sleep with soft kisses to my forehead from Dawson. He did love me, and I loved him.

  I was just getting ready to have another amazing orgasm the next morning. Dawson should have been at work two hours ago. I wouldn’t let him out of my bed. My amazing orgasm was interrupted by someone ringing my doorbell. It was only eight in the morning. Lauren was at work already, besides she would have just unlocked the door and walked in anyway.

  I pulled on a pair of shorts, a bra, and a t-shirt. Dawson dressed and came out with me.

  “I’m coming,” I yelled at whoever was blowing up my doorbell.

  “You would have been if you would have stayed in bed with me,” Dawson said behind me. I looked over my shoulder and smiled. I still planned on doing that.

  My mouth dropped when I opened the door.

  You have got to be kidding me.

  There was a man holding a clipboard with a car waiting in my drive to pick him up. Just in front of his ride was my new ride, a beautiful BMW X6 M.

  “I need you to sign for your new car, Mrs. Kelly,” the man smiled. I was sure by the smile on his face that his Monday morning commission made his day.

  “My car?” I asked. I knew it was a dumb question. I knew that Drew had arranged to have it delivered to me.

  Dawson walked up behind me and looked out too. He didn’t speak, and I am sure had I had eyes in the back of my head, I would see bulging eyeballs and an opened mouth.

  “Yes, ma’am. The paper work is complete. I just need a signature that you have received it.

  I signed the X on the clipboard.

  “Riley!” Dawson scolded from behind me.

  I turned and shrugged my shoulders. The man thanked me and asked if I would like a demonstration.

  “No. Thank you.”

  I walked out to the car, hopping like a bunny as the sharp gravel penetrated my bare feet.

  Holy fucking Hawaii.

  This car was fucking hot. No, hot doesn’t even come close to describing this car. It was sophisticated, striking, elegant, and I swear it had its own personality. I can’t even describe the color of it. Its official name was nightfire metallic red. That’s what the window sticker said. It also had an msrp of one hundred and twenty two thousand dollars. The black porosus crocodile leather was the softest leather I had ever felt. It barely felt like leather at all. The dash looked like something from a sci-fi movie and the GPS was outrageous.

  Dawson sat in
the passenger seat, still speechless as he looked over the window sticker at the massive amount of standard and available equipment that this thing had. It had it all.

  “Ry, you can’t accept this. Do you have any idea how much this guy spent on this thing?”

  Yeah, not a penny, it’s my money.

  “Drew’s not really the type to take back a gift,” I said, running my hands over the indulgent steering wheel. I was in a luxury trance. I could so see me driving this car on my adventure.

  “Riley, are you serious?”

  “What Dawson? I told you that I was going to find my mother. He didn’t want me driving the Civic that far.”

  “How far? Do you know where she is?”

  “Yes. Drew found her for me.”

  “Oh, well thanks for discussing this with me.”

  “I just found out two days ago, Dawson. We haven’t really discussed anything.”

  “Let me come with you. I will get the week off, we’ll go see your mom, and spend the week together.”

  Um…that wasn’t going to work.

  “Dawson. I am going to get away from you and Drew. Can you give me that and try to understand?”

  “Yeah, sure, Ry. I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later.”

  “What? Now you’re pissed off?”

  “Not pissed off, fed up.”

  “What the hell, Daw?”

  “Nothing Ry. You go wherever it is you’re going since you think running away by yourself is going to fix your problems. Riley loves Dawson. Morgan loves Drew,” he stated and slammed the door.

  “Riley loves Dawson. Morgan loves Drew,” I repeated his words out loud to my new car. He hit the nail right on the head. I was giving myself a split personality.

  I jumped when the phone in the car rang. Where the hell was it coming from? How the hell did I answer it? I finally figured out that I only needed to push the little phone button on the steering wheel.

  “Hello,” I said, looking like an idiot trying to figure out where I was supposed to be talking.

  “Do you love it?” Drew asked.

  “No. I freaking hate it. You idiot.”

  Drew laughed which made me smile. I loved his laugh.

  “You’re such a liar. Tell me how you really feel.”

  “I love it. I can’t believe that you did this. How did you pull this off so fast?”

  “Money talks, baby.”

  “You’re not supposed to be talking to me, remember?”

  “Yeah, yeah. I won’t talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Can I go in and make coffee and call you back?”

  “Yes, but make sure you call me back. I want to hear if this car is as sleek as everything I have read about it.”

  “It is. I’ll call you in a few.”

  Chapter 22

  I started coffee, went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before calling Drew back. I know, I shouldn’t have been calling either one of them, but I just couldn’t help myself. I missed him. I walked out to the deck with my coffee and cellphone.

  “Hey gorgeous,” Drew answered.

  “Hey,” I smiled.

  “So? What do you think?”

  “You already know what I think. It’s amazing. I can’t wait to take off in it.”

  “I knew you would love it. When are you leaving?”

  “I was going to wait until Friday, but I think I need to go now.”

  “I met your boyfriend last night,” he stated.

  “Yeah, I heard. I’m kind of stunned by that. I would have loved to have been a fly on the dash of that car.”

  “It’s fucking dark in Maine. I mean spooky ass dark. I was scared shitless. I was thankful to take the ride offer.”

  I laughed. I could just see Drew walking down my road looking over his shoulder for something to jump out at him.

  “Where did you go?” I asked.

  “To the airport. So let me guess. He came right to your house as soon as he dropped me off, didn’t he?”

  I ran my fingers through my long hair and looked up to the sun with closed eyes. Of course we were going to go there. I give the fuck up. “Yeah, he stopped by,” I tried.

  “Did he spend the night or just stop by?”

  “Does it really matter? You told me that you were going to step out of the picture so that I could see if it was him that I wanted. How am I supposed to do that if I’m not around him?”

  “So he did spend the night. You fucked him too, didn’t you?”

  “Really Drew?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I won’t bother you anymore. You drive safe, okay.”

  “Drew,” was all that I was able to get out before I heard the silence and looked to see his name blinking on my phone.

  Fuck…

  I wasn’t going to have to worry about choosing. They were both pissed off now. Fine, I was better off. I could go anywhere I wanted to go. I wouldn’t live in Misty Bay or Vegas. They could both go to hell.

  I went straight to my room, packed a bag, and got into my new car and headed south. I stopped at the coffee shop, had a cup of coffee and a pastry with Starlight before heading out.

  “I wish there was something that I could do to help. I hate it that you are going through this, Ry,” Star said, sympathetically.

  “I’ll be fine, Star. I have had a life that tends to make you pretty strong. I’ll get through it, one way or another.”

  Star hugged me and told me that if I needed anything to call.

  I put in the address for Rodanthe, North Carolina. I didn’t even groan when the robotic voice told me that I would be driving for almost fifteen hours. I was actually looking forward to it. I hoped that neither Drew nor Dawson called. I listened to Lauren and Levi on my satellite radio all the way until they signed off, and then changed it to an oldies rock station. It brought back memories of living in West Virginia.

  I thought about my cousins that I hadn’t seen in years, my dad, who wasn’t my dad after all, and my grandma who passed away when I was only sixteen. I thought about my friends from school, which was really only Julie Waybright. She was as poor as me, and was just as much of an outcast as I was. She got herself pregnant when she was fifteen and had two kids living on welfare by the time she was eighteen. I wondered how she was, and hoped that she wasn’t another statistic, popping out kids and living with an alcoholic.

  For some stupid reason, I reprogrammed my GPS and headed right to my old hometown. I wasn’t sure why. It was going to add eight hours to my destination, but what the hell. I had time. I wouldn’t stay. I just wanted to drive through, just for old times’ sake, not that the old times were pleasant but still.

  I stopped and got a hotel in New York around nine at night, taking a pizza with me. I know I said that I hoped that Drew or Dawson didn’t call, but I was surprised that either of them hadn’t. Weren’t they worried about me or wondered where I was? Of course, they both did think that I wasn’t leaving until the next day. I still couldn’t believe that one of them hadn’t called. They didn’t, and when I checked my phone at seven the next morning, there was nothing from either of them. I know, I know, that’s what I wanted. Whatever.

  It only took me four hours to make it to my old roots. Not a lot had changed. It looked as poor and rundown as it had the day I was forced to leave. It almost made me happy that Drew had bought me. I bought me. I laughed, saying that out loud. I turned down the old dirt road to the trailer. It was abandoned. The aluminum had been ripped off, probably for scrap, and the windows were all broken out. I’m not sure why, but I parked my expensive car in the drive. I looked around, nervously. This wasn’t the place for a female in a fancy car to be poking around. The closest house was barely visible from our old trailer. I didn’t see anything that warned me not to go in, so I got out, locked the door with the two beeps, and walked up the old steps.

  “Fuck,” I called out when my foot went through the rotten plywood on the little porch. It hurt. I felt the burn up my calf from the wood scrape. Of
course my shoe had to fall underneath when I tried to pull it out of the hole. That should have been enough of a warning to get back in my car and get the hell out of there, but determined me had to go in. Once I retrieved my shoe, I walked along the edge of the porch so that I didn’t fall through again.

  I pushed the door. It was hard to push because it was weathered and warped. It looked like some local kids had been using it for a party pad, but not recently, I didn’t think. There were ashtrays running over, beer bottles, liquor bottles, decomposed food, and empty packs of condoms strung about.

  The same table, couch, and wood stove were still there from when had I lived there. I walked into the kitchen and opened the cabinets. Our mismatched dishes were still in the cupboards. It was like my dad had just left and left everything behind. I wondered where he was. Did he die? Did he move? I walked back to mine and Justin’s bedroom, and it too still had the same old mattress thrown on the floor. My old dresser that wasn’t much of a dresser when I used it was still in the corner. I got excited when I saw it.

  A couple of days before I was to leave with Drew Kelly, I placed a square tin in the back, underneath the bottom drawer. It was one of those tins that you get cookies in at Christmas. I think the local church had dropped it off for my brother and me one year. I slid the dresser out and screamed to the top of my lungs. A hiding cat jumped out with a squeal and darted right under my legs out the door.

  Jesus H Christ…

  My heart was now beating out of my chest. I swear it was. I held my hand on the corner of the nasty old dresser and held my chest, trying to regain my bearings. What the hell was I doing there? I pulled the thin sheet of wood from behind the dresser and there it was, just where I had left it. I picked it up and beat it on top of the dresser to knock the mice shit off of it.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Awwww,” I let out a blood curdling scream. There went my heart again. I turned to see a big burly man with a beard clear down his chest. His head was wrapped in a rebel flag do-wrap, and I could tell that he had long hair in a ponytail hanging down his back. His arms were covered in raunchy girl tattoos that were clearly unprofessional.

  “ Bobby?” I asked.