by Avril Sabine
“Sorry.” Shadow dropped her head so her hat shaded her face. Anger started to burn in her. She wanted to yell at him that none of this had been her idea. She reminded herself she had to fade into the background. She’d already drawn more than enough attention to herself for one day.
“Not good enough. You’ve put everyone in danger with this deception,” Carson said harshly. “If you’d been at the front instead of your brother we wouldn’t have been caught unprepared.” Carson turned to the soldier who came over to him. “What?”
“We lost four men and three horses,” the soldier said. The soldier named the men they’d lost. One of them was Morell.
“See they’re buried.” As soon as the man retreated, Carson turned to stare at Shadow. “Because of you and your brother four men lost their lives.”
Shadow swallowed hard, unable to think of anything to say. Her anger instantly evaporated, replaced by guilt. She’d only known one of the men who’d died, but she still felt terrible. She hadn’t thought their lie would end in deaths. A hidden pass. That was all they’d thought they’d needed to find. Hidden armies was something else altogether and the General hadn’t warned them of that danger. Maybe her Pa had been right not to trust him.
“Well? Haven’t you anything to say,” Carson demanded.
Shadow shook her head. She had to force herself not to give into the tears that started to burn the back of her throat and make her eyes feel heavy. She couldn’t believe how quickly everything had changed. She knew the journey was dangerous. All travel was dangerous with bandits found all over the country, but this was worse than bandits. Men were dead because she and her brother had tried to play at being soldiers. This morning she’d been excited by her progress. Now she felt like a kid playing make believe. She wasn’t a soldier. She had no clue how to be one.
“You’d better have something to say for yourself when your brother gets back. I won’t accept this silence then.” Carson turned and rapidly strode to the camp the soldiers were setting up.
Chapter Ten
Shadow stood there, not knowing what to do. She didn’t want to join the camp and have to answer questions, she wanted to go home. There’d been good times. Times when her Pa had actually treated them like he enjoyed having them around. Times when he hadn’t needed a drink to face his demons. They might not have been often, but it hadn’t been all bad. Not as bad as facing archers. Not as bad as watching men slaughtered and unable to do anything about it.
“Hey, lad.”
Shadow spun as a hand landed on her shoulder. She saw Iain standing over her. Lad? Was that meant to be a promotion from kid?
“Come and have something to eat. You did good today. Real good directions an’ all. We’re proud of ya,” Iain said.
“Four soldiers died.” Shadow’s words wavered.
“Soldiers always die. We live with that knowledge. Those archers could have wiped the lot of us out. They didn’t. We sent them running. Come and eat,” Iain said.
Shadow shook her head. “I don’t think I can.”
Iain laughed. “Well, if ya going to throw up, make sure ya use a bush away from camp.” With a last clap on her shoulder, he returned to the camp.
Shadow winced. Her stomach churned and she breathed through her mouth trying not to think of what Iain had said. It hadn’t been a problem until he’d reminded her of her urge to throw up earlier.
“Captain wants you.” A soldier joined Shadow.
She looked up at the soldier. He pointed to where Carson was. Five men were mounted on horses, another man held two horses, one of them Shadow’s.
“Hurry up. He’s in a mood,” the soldier warned.
Shadow nodded and hurried over to Carson who was giving orders to a soldier. She tried to ignore the rolling sensation in her stomach. She waited for him to finish speaking and turn to her. She stepped back at the look he gave her.
“Mount up. None of them have returned. We need to find the General,” Carson said.
Shadow stood motionless, the words echoing in her ears. She saw Carson’s lips move, but couldn’t hear his words over the roar in her ears. Irlan was missing. They had gone after archers and hadn’t come back. Her brother! Missing!
Carson grabbed her by the shoulder and shook her hard. “Get on the horse. Now!”
Shadow blinked. Her body felt like it was miles away. She forced one foot in front of the other and took the reins from the soldier. As she swung into the saddle, she saw Carson mount. She couldn’t lose her brother. They had to find him.
One of the other soldiers with them sounded the horn three times and then they moved out. Shadow was glad her horse followed the others with no encouragement. She wasn’t certain she could remember what to do, her mind still spun with images from the earlier fight.
Oh Irlan, she thought, what have you gotten yourself into now? She should have known better than to agree to a plan her brother had come up with.
They rode through the trees and followed the signs the men had left.
“Any hidden archers?” Carson demanded of Shadow.
She snapped out of her thoughts and glanced around. Her brother was in danger. She had to focus. Who was she kidding? They were all in danger. Seeing nothing, she shook her head.
“Speak up, damn it,” Carson cursed. “And keep looking.”
Shadow gathered her scattered thoughts. She tried to tell herself her brother would be fine, but there was a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her otherwise. She glanced around, certain she could feel someone watching them. No one was visible. The dark depths of the forest could have hidden an army, even without the use of magic.
“It’s bloody creepy in here.” One of the soldiers glanced around nervously.
“Sound the horn again,” Carson ordered.
The soldier carrying it put it to his lips and sent out three loud calls. Only silence came back. They rode on, single file through the trees. Carson led, Shadow followed behind him and the other five soldiers followed Shadow.
“We’re not going to find them alive,” the soldier behind Shadow said.
“We are,” Shadow snapped at him and turned on her horse to glare at him. He shrugged in answer.
“Keep moving,” Carson ordered.
Shadow turned forward and gasped in surprise. She didn’t have time to say anything, barely had time to think. Only react. The archer had already pulled the string back and soon the arrow would be released. While all these thoughts were going through her mind, she urged her horse forward enough to lunge at Carson. As she collided with him, she said, “Arrow.”
They both tumbled to the ground. Carson let her slight weight throw him from the saddle at her warning. The soldiers following behind them jumped from their horses and hid behind trees for safety. The arrow that had been aimed at Carson hit a tree trunk with a loud thunk.
Carson pushed Shadow off him and jumped to his feet. He took the crossbow from his saddle. “Where?” He demanded of Shadow who stood beside him.
Seeing the man draw back his bow again, Shadow pulled Carson behind a tree. She quickly described the man’s position, amending it as he moved slightly to the left and readied another arrow.
Carson let the bolt fly from his crossbow and the man called out in surprise as the bolt found its target. Shadow watched as the magic hiding him evaporated. He tried to pull back the string on his bow, his legs faltered under him. Five other bolts thudded into him now his magic was gone and the bow and arrow dropped uselessly from his fingers. He dropped first to his knees and then hit the ground face first.
Shadow stood there, stunned. She hadn’t watched any of the archers die after the first couple in the earlier battle. It was too unsettling. Carson grabbed her roughly by the arm and shook her. Shadow looked at him, her hat having fallen off when they’d landed on the ground.
“Look around! Are there any more?” Carson demanded.
Shadow stared at him, his words not making sense.
Carson shook h
er again. “Archers? Are there any archers?”
Shadow glanced around then looked back at Carson. She shook her head.
“This is why they don’t allow women in the army,” Carson hissed under his breath. He bent and picked up Shadow’s hat and shoved it at her. He turned to the men moving closer. “Keep behind us.”
Shadow put her hat on and stared at Carson. She opened her mouth to speak to him, then closed it again. She stepped forward uncertainly. She began to doubt she’d heard the comment right. Surely he hadn’t told her he knew her secret. A rush of anger filled her. She bet even the first time a man saw battle he felt the same.
Propelled by anger, she moved forward. There were no archers around, but neither was her brother. That thought started to weaken her and she pushed it from her mind. She made herself move to where the dead archer was, the grass around him turning red.
“Shadow! Stop!” Carson ordered.
She ignored him and kept moving through the thinning trees. She heard Carson curse and hurry after her. Trying not to look at the archer on the ground, Shadow stepped past him and stumbled into a clearing. A hand on her shoulder spun her around.
Carson stared down at her angrily. “Didn’t you hear me? I gave you an order. Every soldier must follow them instantly.”
Still angry, Shadow shrugged his hand off her shoulder. She was sick of taking orders, sick of being quiet and sick of fading into the background. She had pushed herself for weeks and all she’d gotten was more demands and being yelled at. She turned to look around the clearing. What she saw made her knees buckle. “No!” The word was wrenched from her and she ran forward. Dropping to the ground she pressed her hands against the soil. The anger that had driven her vanished and left her barely able to hold herself up. She wanted to throw herself onto the ground.
“What is it?” Carson demanded, having run across the clearing with her. He looked down. There was nothing for him to see.
“Captain?” One of the soldiers said from the edge of the clearing.
“Keep out of the clearing. There’s enough targets in here,” Carson ordered.
Shadow swallowed the sob that tried to escape, unable to stop the tear that threaded it’s way along one cheek. She felt Carson crouch beside her. A finger on her chin lifted her face so she looked at him.
“What can you see?” Carson asked softly.
“The marks of a magic portal,” Shadow whispered.
“A magic portal? The kind you need two wizards to use?”
Shadow nodded. “My brother went through here. I can feel it.”
“Where does it lead to?”
Shadow shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Then mount up. We can’t stay here,” Carson ordered.
“My brother went through there.” Shadow stared at him, wondering if she’d misheard.
Carson rose to his feet. “We can’t help him. Nor can we help the General or the six soldiers that were with them.” He started to turn away.
Shadow leapt to her feet and grabbed his arm. “My brother’s missing!”
“I’m down to twenty men. I don’t have time to look for him. There are more important things to do. Surely you didn’t think you were going to a ball? There are no musicians here and I’m afraid ball gowns would be in the way. If you don’t want to be left behind I suggest you find your horse and get moving. I won’t wait for you. Kid.”
Shadow watched as Carson strode back to his men. She was torn. The mark on the ground was all she had left to show where her brother had been. The army was her only way out of the mountains. She turned and dropped to the ground. Resting her hands on the mark left behind by the portal, she closed her eyes. Beneath her fingers she felt a strange hum and glimpsed a fortress high in the mountains. All around it lay snow. Archers manned the battlements and the ground leading to it was completely open. Eighty feet from the fortress a forest started, snow capped pines standing to attention.
“Shadow!”
Shadow’s vision wavered and disappeared and she looked up to see one of the soldiers holding the reins of her horse. She rose shakily to her feet, uncertain of what had happened. Her Gran on her Ma’s side used to have visions, but surely she couldn’t be twice cursed. Elf sight was enough of a problem without that too.
“Are you coming? The Captain said if you don’t hurry up we’re to leave you,” the soldier warned.
Shadow took the reins. “Thank you,” she said softly.
The soldier nodded and mounted his own horse.
The return journey to the camp was made in silence. As soon as they reached camp, Carson stopped and looked around. Every man watched him.
“The General’s been taken through a magic portal. There’s no sign of the men who went with him. They may have been taken too. We break camp first light. We still have a mission to complete and anyone not ready gets left behind.” His eyes fell on Shadow.
Her shoulders straightened and she glared back at him. When he turned his horse away, Shadow slumped in her saddle again. Oh Irlan, what am I going to do without you? She felt like screaming, or maybe crying, or throwing something. She didn’t know how she felt, she was still half dazed by everything that had happened that day.
“Going to hop down? Or were ya planning on sleeping in the saddle so ya don’t get left behind tomorrow?” Iain asked from beside the horse.
Shadow gave him a weak smile before she dismounted.
Iain took the reins of her horse. “There’s stew if you’re hungry. I’ll take care of ya horse.” Iain shook his head when Shadow opened her mouth to argue. “Do as ya told. Need ya wide awake tomorrow so ya can watch our backs. Ya look half beat.”
Shadow nodded and took her bowl from her saddlebags before she made her way to the campfire. She watched as the cook ladled stew into the bowl and gave her some dry bread to sop it up with. She moved to a stump not far from the fire to enjoy its warmth, but it seemed wrong to sit and eat. Her brother was missing, she was stuck with an army and they’d been attacked by archers. Eating seemed too ordinary a task, but she automatically spooned up a mouthful.
“Captain wants to see you after you’ve eaten.” A soldier came to stand beside her. “In the General’s tent.”
Chapter Eleven
The soldier was gone before Shadow could answer. The food she’d swallowed felt like rocks in her stomach. Shadow glared after the soldier. “Great,” she muttered. She sighed, worried about why Carson might want to see her as she stared at her food. Eat with the worry of what Carson would say hanging over her? Not likely. She rose to her feet.
“Don’t go wasting that,” the cook snapped.
Shadow looked over at him. “I’ve got to see the Captain.”
“Eat first,” the cook ordered.
“I can’t.”
The cook scowled at her. “Bring it over here. I’ll put your bowl near the fire to keep it warm. You might be hungry after you’ve seen him.” When Shadow was about to head to the tent, he said, “His bark is far worse than his bite. He’s a fair man.”
“What if he has no reason to be fair?” Shadow asked.
The cook grinned. “Then I guess you’d better take cover.”
Shadow gulped. “That’s what I was afraid of.” She walked slowly to the tent and stared at the flap she was meant to enter. What did he want? Was he going to tell her he didn’t want her with the army anymore? How would she survive alone in the forest?
“Oh for crying out loud,” Carson said a moment before he pulled the flap back. “Get inside and stop hovering.”
Shadow stepped hesitantly into the tent. She glanced around and saw it was set up the same way it had been the first night she’d been inside. It was hard to believe that was nearly two months ago.
“Anything you want to tell me?” Carson demanded.
Shadow looked up at him. He was taller than her brother and more solidly built. The anger almost poured off him in waves. She couldn’t have spoken if her life depended on it. Well, maybe my l
ife does, or Irlan’s, she thought as she recalled the fortress she’d seen that afternoon.
“I’m waiting!” Carson said impatiently.
“Where’s the fortress?” Shadow blurted out, then cringed at the expression on Carson’s face.
“The what? What are you talking about? I want to know about the deception you and your brother pulled. If he is your brother.”
Shadow nodded. “He’s my brother.”
“Why? Why tell us he had elf sight? Why dress you up as a boy?” Carson demanded quietly.
Shadow swallowed hard. He definitely knew. “How’d you know?”
Carson smiled slightly. “I know what a woman feels like when she’s lying all over me.”
Shadow went bright red and looked away from him, ignoring his chuckle. “Our Pa is Gil Morgan.”
“What! Are you mad? Do you think he’s going to be pleased his kids ran off with us?” Carson demanded.
“He doesn’t exactly know where we went,” Shadow said. “We asked Ma to keep it from him as long as possible.”
“He’s one of the best trackers there is. Do you think a little problem like not knowing where you’re planning to go would stop him?” Carson demanded.
“He won’t follow us,” Shadow protested.
Carson gave her a look of disbelief. “How well do you know your father.”
A look of shock crossed Shadow’s face and she groaned. “Oh no. He’ll follow us. We’re his and we left without his say so.” Her hands covered her face. “What a mess.”
Carson pulled her hands from her face as he shook his head. “What’s your name?”
“Shadow.”
Carson looked surprised. “That’s not a name to give a girl.”
“My Pa was angry when he named me,” Shadow muttered.
“How old are you, Shadow?”
She smiled slightly, finally able to answer. “Seventeen.”
He nodded and stared at her quietly for a moment. “What are we going to do with you?”
“You’re not going to leave me behind, are you?” Panic edged through Shadow.