by Avril Sabine
“Do you want to be left behind? The journey’s only going to get more dangerous. You didn’t cope that well today.”
“And being left behind will be safer?” Shadow asked dryly. She nearly cringed at the tone she used. Relief poured over her when Carson smiled. “Today was my first battle. It wasn’t what I expected.”
“So what do we do with you?”
“Are you still going to pay us?” Shadow demanded. The smile made Carson seem less intimidating. And now he knew she wasn’t a boy there was no need to watch her words around him. The relief of that almost made her light headed.
“Us? In case you haven’t noticed, we lost your brother today,” Carson said.
“Yes, but I’m going to get him back.”
“You don’t know where he is,” Carson pointed out.
“I do now.”
“Where?”
“In a fortress.” Shadow described her vision.
Carson stared at her.
“You know it.”
Carson shook his head. “Not personally. But it’s where we’re headed. Or at least, we hope it’s the place we’re looking for.”
“Then I’m definitely going.”
“I’ll expect you to follow orders. No more ignoring me like you did earlier today,” Carson warned.
“Sorry.”
“And you continue to play the part of a boy.”
Shadow nodded.
“And you stay by my side.” When Shadow opened her mouth to protest, Carson said firmly, “That’s not negotiable.”
Shadow sighed and nodded.
“How long do you think your mother will be able to keep your disappearance from your father?”
Shadow was startled by the sudden change of topic. “She probably kept it from him for two weeks, no more than three.”
“It might be enough,” Carson muttered. Then louder, “Fetch your blankets. You sleep in here from now on.”
“What? No!”
“That doesn’t sound in the least bit like following orders,” Carson said.
“Why?” Shadow demanded.
“Because we can’t afford to lose you. Whoever’s out there has to get through the entire camp before they can enter this tent.”
Shadow frowned before she nodded sharply. “You didn’t really want to leave me behind. You still need me. This was all to make me agree to your terms.” She headed for the exit.
“Shadow.”
She stopped, her back still to him.
“I couldn’t take you with us if you didn’t agree to follow orders. It would’ve been too dangerous. For everyone.”
She nodded and reached for the tent flap.
“I’ll inform the men you’re to be guarded as well as the king himself.”
Shadow ignored his words and returned to the fire where the cook silently handed her bowl of food back to her. She was angry again. She’d spent her entire life being ordered around by her Pa. How did she always end up being stuck with tyrants? She’d much preferred it when she’d been someone not worth noticing in the army. While the thoughts flew through her mind, she automatically ate, fuming at the latest drama in her life.
I’m going to kill Irlan when I find him, Shadow thought angrily. And I will find him. She refused to believe otherwise. He’s going to regret ever getting us into this mess. I’ll make sure of it. As she finished her bowl of stew, Shadow heard a single horn call and rose to her feet to join the rest of the soldiers. They made their way to where the sound came from to find Carson standing there, waiting to address them.
As soon as there was silence, Carson said, “It was a tough day today, but you all did well. We lost four men during the battle and I know they’ll be missed. We have another six men as well as the General and Irlan missing. We believe they’ve been taken to the fortress, we’re headed to, by means of a magic portal.”
There was grumbling in the crowd and threats of what they’d do when they got to the fortress. Carson gave them a moment and then held up his hand for silence.
“Now to the main reason for this talk. Some of you may have noticed Shadow has elf sight.” Several chuckles erupted from the soldiers she’d been with during the fight. “We certainly found out today that we need him around, which means we’re going to have to guard him well. I don’t want him wandering off anywhere on his own. Someone else will have to collect firewood. He’ll sleep in my tent and we’re doubling the night guard, but you have to remember you won’t necessarily see them coming. You might only hear them. So be careful. We’re getting close to the fortress. We should reach the pass tomorrow morning. They’re going to be trying extremely hard to keep us out of their territory. So what’ll it be men? Think we can take them on?”
There was a roar of agreement from the soldiers and as the sound subsided, one soldier called out, “They’d better look out,” followed by another soldier, “We’ll pull their fortress down one stone at a time if we have to.” There was a shout of approval at this comment.
Carson continued to stand in front of his men and smiled slightly as the bragging continued. When his eyes fell on Shadow he beckoned her to join him. She sighed. She wanted to be left alone. She could have kicked herself for all the complaints she’d made about being ignored. She remembered her Gran once saying ‘be careful what you wish for’. This would have to be a perfect example.
Chapter Twelve
“I want you to check the map again,” Carson said as soon as she reached his side.
“Which one?”
“Don’t be smart.” Carson turned sharply on his heel and disappeared into the tent.
Shadow followed him. She wasn’t being smart. She bit back her protest and took the map he held out to her. She unrolled the map and looked at the drawing she and her brother had made. “It’s different.” She looked up at Carson.
He nodded.
“How did you know?”
“I memorised it. It isn’t a great deal different, just enough to make me question if I remembered it right.”
“It’s one of your men, isn’t it?” Shadow asked
Carson shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Who?”
Carson sighed wearily. He turned away and picked up one of the goblets that Shadow had found that long ago day when Carson and the General had tested Irlan for elf sight. “I don’t know.” He took a drink from the goblet before putting it down.
“I can’t help you,” Shadow said.
“What?” Carson looked over at her sharply.
“Find the man. I can’t help you. Unless I see him doing magic, I won’t know who it is.”
“I hadn’t planned to ask.”
“What do you want to do about the map?” Shadow asked. “Why would they alter it after they knew I’d be able to see it?”
“It was done while we were out chasing your brother,” Carson said.
“So they didn’t know?” Shadow asked.
Carson shrugged. “Who knows? Get your gear. It’s time to call it a night.”
“Do you think they’ll try and change it back?” Shadow asked.
“It might even have been one of the archers sneaking in while we were gone.”
Shadow sighed. “How are you meant to know?” Frustration filled her voice.
Carson grinned. “The joy of being a Captain. Everyone’s life is in your hands and you don’t know if all the swords you’re guarding will be with you or against you.”
Shadow smiled back at Carson. He looked so different when he smiled, younger and carefree, more like the age Irlan had told her he was. She regretted her earlier anger at him. She hadn’t realised how difficult being a captain must be. Her smile faded. “I’m with you,” she said softly.
Carson stared at her solemnly. Silence filled the tent. “Thank you.” The silence dragged out again. “Get your gear, Shadow.”
“What about my training?”
“I won’t hold you to that.”
“Why? Because I’m not a boy?”
Car
son shrugged.
“I want you and Iain to continue to train me.” She met his gaze, determined not to give up when she’d come so far. So she’d been extremely squeamish in her first battle. She’d get better at this. Look how she’d improved with the crossbow. She could now hit the target more times than she missed.
“Tonight?”
“Yes.”
Silence filled the tent again. Carson nodded. “I’ll have a soldier move your gear. As soon as you finish with Iain, I’ll continue to teach you.”
Shadow smiled, a sense of victory filled her. “Thank you.” She hurried outside before Carson could change his mind and quickly found Iain. The older man was surprised she wanted to practice, but he patiently stood beside her and occasionally instructed her. Once she was finished, instead of joining the other soldiers seated quietly at the fire, Iain stayed with her while she gathered up the bolts. Handing the bolts back to Iain, she glanced around for Carson. He stood in front of his tent, his hands on his hips as he surveyed the camp. He looked towards Shadow as she continued to watch him and then strode towards her. He waved back the two men he’d set as guards on Shadow and led her into the trees.
Shadow widened her stance when Carson stopped in a clearing and turned to face her. He beckoned her forward and she attacked. She missed, spinning to face him, ducking as his fist came at her, landing on her forehead with little more than a tap. Five times she attacked him before she stopped, hands on her hips and glared at him.
“I know I haven’t improved that much. By now I’d have landed on the ground at least twice.”
“You improve a little every day.”
“A little I’d believe. I must have improved way more than a little to still be standing. You’re treating me like I’ll break. If I haven’t after the amount of times you’ve landed me in the dirt, I’m not likely to now.”
“Fine.” Carson beckoned her forward again.
Shadow attacked, she felt her foot go out from under her and the ground coming up to meet her. At the last second, Carson caught her. She stared at him, their faces inches apart. “Fine?”
“I can’t do it. I’ve been trained from birth not to hit a lady. To protect them.”
“I’m not a lady.”
Carson straightened, pulling her with him, her body against his. He ran a hand down her side, slowing over the slight curve of her waist hidden by her shirt. “This tells me different.”
“Captain-” she couldn’t continue when she met his eyes. Words evaporated. She tried to think, but she’d never had someone look at her like that before, not even Elrick.
Carson closed his eyes and let her go. He turned his back on her. “I’m sorry.”
She forced herself to focus. “You said you’d teach me. I’m still waiting.”
Carson turned back to her. “Tenacious, aren’t you?”
Shadow frowned. “That doesn’t sound complimentary whatever it means.”
Carson laughed. “Like a dog with a bone. Stubborn.”
“Oh. Well, sure, if it’s important.”
“Why is it important for you to learn to fight?”
Shadow stared at him. Why? She didn’t really know herself. But every time she got a little better at what she learned, it felt good. Like a spark igniting in her. As if for years she’d lived in a world of death, doing the same each day, dying a little more. As if everything she did had no worth. “So I can live.”
“We’ll protect you.”
Shadow shook her head, trying to find the words. She reached out and touched his chest. “In here. Live. Everything else I’ve done has been waiting for death.”
Carson placed his hand over hers when she started to draw it away. “I’ll teach you. But maybe we should stick with drills for now.”
Shadow nodded and when he let her hand go, pulled out her dagger. She moved into position and smiled when Carson glanced at her feet but didn’t kick the inside of her boot. The smiled stayed in place even when he moved her hand slightly. She mimicked the movements Carson made, feeling like she was doing a type of dance. Deadly but graceful.
* * *
Shadow stared at the two men who’d followed her around since she’d stepped outside the tent the next morning. She growled in frustration before she turned and looked around the camp. Spotting Carson, she strode towards him, her eyes never leaving him once. As if he could feel her glare, he looked up. He stopped when he saw her coming. The two men he’d ordered to guard her continued to follow her.
“I need to talk to you,” Shadow said through gritted teeth.
“I’m busy.”
“Now. Alone,” Shadow snapped, still keeping her voice low.
Carson sighed. “It better be important.” He moved towards the fringes of the camp after telling the men who followed Shadow to wait. “Now what?” he demanded when they were out of earshot.
“I can’t get a single moment to myself,” Shadow complained.
“I warned you last night. We can’t afford to lose you. Now if you’ve finished complaining?” He started to move away.
“Don’t you dare move from there. I need time without someone following me.”
“Why?”
“Because!” Shadow looked away and felt her cheeks turn pink.
Carson chuckled as he realised what Shadow was getting at. “Fine. I’ll take you to the bushes.”
“I’m not going with an audience.”
“I’ll turn my back.” Shadow opened her mouth to argue and Carson said firmly, “It’s me or the two I set as your guard.”
“Argh!” Shadow glared at him in frustration. “Fine!” She headed for the trees and when she found a sheltered enough place, she stood, hands on her hips. “Turn around.”
Carson smiled before he did.
Shadow grumbled under her breath as she squatted behind a bush. “I’m going to kill Irlan myself when I get a hold of him,” she muttered as she pulled her trousers up. She strode past Carson without looking at him.
Carson walked beside her. “Let me know next time you need a private moment. We can’t have anyone else guessing you’re not what you pretend to be.”
“Hmph,” was all the answer Shadow gave him before she strode to her horse and started to saddle up. Anger felt much better than the fear that coursed through her every time she let it evaporate. Her emotions were still raw from yesterday. The anger was a good way of keeping herself together. Especially after the dreams she’d suffered last night.
Carson motioned to the two men to continue to watch her and returned to his own tasks. Shadow watched him move away. She sighed. She should have thanked him. Life was far too complicated. It had been much easier to remain silent.
The soldiers had their horses saddled quickly and were back on the trail leading through the mountains. Shadow rode behind Carson and watched everything. After yesterday, the slightest sound drew her attention, and whenever the forest grew quiet, that made her more nervous. Her horse skittered as if her emotions put her mount on edge.
Carson glanced back at her. “Loosen the reins a little.”
Shadow glared at his back for a moment, but did as he ordered. Then she returned to scanning the area.
The trees on their right soon gave way to a sheer cliff face and the trees on the left started to trickle away to a few as the trail narrowed and the left became a steep drop. Every minute they travelled the drop became steeper. Shadow looked above her nervously, unable to clearly see the top of the cliff wall. She couldn’t see any of the slight glittery glow that meant magic so she turned her attention ahead of them. And there it was, the shine of magic she searched for.
Chapter Thirteen
“There’s magic ahead,” Shadow warned Carson.
“Might be the tunnel through the mountains,” Carson said.
“From back here I can’t tell. It might be an army waiting for us,” Shadow said gloomily.
“That wouldn’t be much good to them. They’d be in the same position as us. Single file on a p
ath with a long drop on one side,” Carson said.
“And that makes me feel so much better,” Shadow muttered.
The soldier behind her heard and said, “At least we’d take them with us as we went over.”
“Great,” Shadow muttered.
“Are we there yet?” Carson asked Shadow.
She looked back up the path. “Nearly.”
“An army?” The soldier behind her asked.
“No, Roper,” Shadow answered him.
“Pity.”
Shadow ignored Roper’s comment, glad there wasn’t an army ahead of them. “Stop,” she told Carson as the glow of magic came up beside her.
Carson held up his hand and bellowed out, “Halt!” His order travelled down the line. “What is it?” he asked Shadow.
“The pass.”
“Where?”
Shadow urged her horse forward.
“Shadow?” Carson stared.
“What?”
“I can’t see you. Only your horse’s rump, which is sticking out of rock.” He dismounted and patted the cliff beside her horse. “It’s solid rock.”
“No it’s not.” She reached back outside.
“Your hand looks like it’s poking out of solid rock.” Carson took a hold of her hand and touched the wall again, this time plunging through. “Bad news. I can only get through when I’m holding your hand.”
“And that’s bad because?”
“You can’t hold everyone’s hand,” Carson said.
“Maybe I won’t have to. What if everyone along the way holds hands? Maybe that’d work,” Shadow said.
Carson nodded and let go of Shadow’s hand. He mounted his horse, wrapped the reins around the saddle horn and reached out to take Roper’s hand. “Let your neighbour know. This is how we have to enter the pass. We can’t get through otherwise.” Carson turned back to the wall. “Shadow?”
“Yes.”
“Take hold of my hand so you can lead us all through,” Carson said.
Shadow’s hand came through the wall and she clasped Carson’s hand.
“We’re ready,” Roper said.
Carson nodded and turned back towards Shadow.