Radiant

by Elizabeth Hayley

  Derick cleared his throat, trying like hell to remember what he’d wanted to tell her since that day in his apartment. He’d practiced it a thousand times on the flight here, although the last thing he wanted was for it to seem rehearsed. It probably was a good thing that right now, he couldn’t think of anything other than the way Siobhan’s blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight. Somehow they looked clearer than they ever had.

  “I believed in you, Siobhan,” Derick began. “I still do. But at some point, you stopped believing in yourself. And I didn’t want you to lose hope. That’s why I bought your paintings. I was trying to buy you time so you could keep pursuing your dream.” The words came out much faster than he’d meant for them to, and they weren’t the ones he’d prepared.

  Siobhan lowered her gaze. “You tainted it.”

  “What?”

  She raised her head slowly again, her eyes locking with his. “My dream. The excitement that comes with having sold my first painting…I’ll never get that back. I know that because when I sold my first one here, I didn’t feel much of anything.”

  Derick’s face fell. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. You were upset, and I thought I had the power to fix it. So I did. Or I tried to.”

  Siobhan sat back, tucking her hair behind her ear and then folding her arms across her chest. “Do you want to know what I wished for that day?” she asked.

  “What day?” Derick’s voice was low. Soft.

  “That day at the Empire State Building.” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “I wished I could start making a career out of something I love.”

  Derick averted his gaze out the window before forcing it back to her. She looked nearly as hurt as the last time he’d seen her.

  “That wish came true. Too bad it cost me way more than a penny.”

  Derick sighed heavily. “I’m so sorry, Siobhan. I need you to know that.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “That’s why you flew five hundred miles? To tell me you’re sorry?”

  “No.” His voice was calm, but there was a firmness to it. “I flew five hundred miles because even though I told you that one day you’d run and I wouldn’t come after you, that isn’t true. It’ll never be true, Siobhan. Not when you love someone the way I love you.”

  She inhaled a shaky breath but didn’t say anything.

  “No relationship’s perfect. You have to know that. Not ours. Not anyone’s.” One corner of his lip turned up into a small smile. “But we’re great together, and I think you know that, too.” He paused, giving her time to take in his words. “So give me one more chance. Please. Give us one more chance.”

  “Derick, I—”

  He reached across the table and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She didn’t pull away from him. That was something. “I don’t want an answer right now. I don’t deserve one. Just think about what I’ve said.”

  Then he slid a card across the table to her. “This is where I’m staying. I’ll be here through Tuesday. Promise you’ll think about it?”

  She glanced at the card quickly before shoving it into her purse and looking back to him. “Okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll think about it.”

  Chapter 6

  Painting. It was the only thing Siobhan was becoming more sure of as she sat in her small studio and allowed her emotions to pour onto her canvas. One didn’t have to be Freud to figure out that the deep blues and purples her muse was preferring today were in direct relation to the dour mood she was in.

  The looming buildings she was painting could have been from any city. There were no defining characteristics, and even she didn’t know if she was depicting Detroit or New York. Maybe neither. Maybe both. She realized that she didn’t know either city well enough to render an accurate drawing of any of its well-known buildings.

  And that was the real crux of the problem. How was she supposed to know where she belonged when she didn’t let herself get completely attached to any place? She had always known what she wanted, but she was at a complete loss as to where she would find it.

  It was all like a jumbled-up science experiment. Art was the control, the only constant in her life. She had hypothesized that her career would thrive in New York, but she’d been wrong. So she’d had to adapt and change the climate to one that would encourage her talent to grow. What she hadn’t anticipated—what she supposed no one ever anticipated—was the variable. And her variable was Derick.

  She stood and looked out of her studio window. She liked what she saw—liked this city much better than the one she’d left. The hustle and bustle below her was hurried yet less frantic than the traffic she had endured for five months. Or maybe it was just the new Siobhan who was less frantic.

  What sat in front of her was a future. There was no room for the past in what she was creating in Detroit. Especially when that past was tumultuous and painful.

  Quickly rinsing her brushes and putting away her supplies, Siobhan hardened her resolve. She grabbed her purse and hurried down to the street to hail a cab. She didn’t need the card Derick had given her to know where to tell the driver to go. She’d looked at it enough over the thirty or so hours since he’d given it to her. “MGM Grand Detroit, please.”

  The man pulled out into traffic, and Siobhan practiced her speech during the drive. She had to be calm but firm. Derick had to understand that she meant what she was saying, and the only way to make sure of that was to be unaffected and confident. So as she rode up in the elevator to Derick’s floor, she told herself that she’d go inside, sit him down, and rationally explain how she felt.

  Holding her head high and shifting her shoulders back, she knocked on the door. Derick opened it almost immediately, and the sight of him in dark-rinsed jeans and a tight white T-shirt caused a rush of fury to flood through her. How dare he always look so fucking perfect when she was a goddamn mess?

  And then he had the audacity to smile that dazzling smile that always left her a little breathless. Or at least it used to, before she’d decided she hated him—which she had just done in that very moment.

  “I need you to leave and never come back,” she said.

  That hadn’t been at all what she’d practiced, but it still captured the gist of what she was going for. And it had the added bonus of wiping that smile off his face.

  However, as it turned out, she preferred the infuriating smile to the crestfallen look that replaced it. Siobhan had never been a mean person, at least not on purpose. And hurting Derick made her chest ache in a way she had never felt before. She sighed and relaxed her rigid posture. “Can I come in?”

  Derick nodded and stepped back from the door.

  Siobhan walked into the living room and then turned to look at him. “I meant what I said, even if I wish I’d said it differently. This is a fresh start for me. I can’t bring old drama into a new opportunity. It’s not fair to me, and it isn’t fair to you, either. Because no matter how much I’d try to hide it, if things failed out here, I’d blame you for it.”

  Derick’s brow furrowed. “How would your failure be my fault? Especially since all I’ve ever wanted was for you to succeed?”

  “I didn’t say it would be your fault. I said I’d blame you for it.”

  “But how does that make any sense?”

  “Because I already blame you for New York. It’s not your fault I wasn’t successful there. Logically I know that I didn’t give my art the time and energy it needed. But the emotional side of me blames you for it. Because you were the reason I didn’t have more time and energy. And you were also the reason I had to leave.” She sighed heavily. “But the truth is, even before you came into my life, I didn’t have enough time to devote to my art. Bills and rent took priority.”

  Derick plopped down on the couch and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked up at Siobhan with clear frustration. “But that’s what I was trying to give you: time. I thought that if you sold your paintings, you’d be able to devote more time to your art because you wouldn’t have to work so hard.”r />
  Siobhan sat in a chair across from him. “When your app first took off, did you have to work hard to keep it going?”

  “Of course.”

  Siobhan widened her eyes, willing him to see her point.

  He waved a hand at her. “That’s not the same thing. I was working hard on my business. You were working hard on about four different businesses, and none of them was your passion.”

  “But it was still hard work,” Siobhan said, her voice getting louder. “I would’ve been able to look back on it in ten years and say I did everything I could to make myself successful. I would’ve been proud of the journey, even if I didn’t end up where I hoped I would. But then you swooped in and paved my path in gold when I never asked you to.”

  “So you’re mad at me because I stole your chance to call yourself a starving artist? Sorry to ruin your street cred, Siobhan.” Derick stood and stalked toward her.

  “God, you’re really such an asshole.”

  “I’m also clearly a masochist. Because despite your rejecting me at every turn, I can’t let you go. Do you want to know why that is?”

  “Not really,” she muttered, even though she definitely wanted to know.

  He continued as if she hadn’t said anything. “Because even though I have everything any reasonable man could want, I’m not content with it. And I never will be, because the one thing I don’t have is you.” He paused for a moment, letting his stare hold hers. “You’re the only thing I’ll ever want, Siobhan.”

  The words hit Siobhan square in the chest, but her pride wouldn’t let her show it. “I never asked you to want me.”

  “No shit. You’ve never asked me for anything. God forbid you should accept help from anyone, even though you desperately need it.”

  She stepped into his personal space. The anger radiating off both of them was incendiary. “The only thing I need is for you to leave.”

  He bent down slightly so his eyes could burn into hers. “What about what I need?”

  Those words were like a bucket of ice-cold water and caused her to jerk back a few steps. As Siobhan processed them, she realized how true they were. Even though Derick’s actions had been misguided, he’d only ever had her in mind when he did them. But what had she ever done for him?

  Even after realizing this, her stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to tell him what he needed to hear. “What do you want me to say, Derick? That you deserve better?” It hurt her to say the words. Because even though they’d been said sarcastically, there was some truth in them.

  And as she watched a change come over Derick’s face, she understood that he knew she meant them. He closed the distance between them. “God, how can you still not get it?” Putting a thumb under her chin, he tilted her head up so she was forced to look at him. “There is no better than you.”

  And before she could respond, his lips were on hers.

  Chapter 7

  Siobhan wasn’t giving in. She wasn’t. But he was so warm, and his kiss was so intoxicating, and his scent was so familiar that she couldn’t pull away, even though her brain was yelling at her in warning.

  “Siobhan…” he murmured as he nipped her earlobe. “You know you want to.”

  “You have no idea what I want.”

  He hoisted her up and walked her over to the nearest wall, which he pressed her against as he continued his assault with his mouth. “I think I know exactly what you want.”

  She was not proud of the moan that escaped her or of the way her legs were wrapped like a vise around his hips.

  “See?” he said, and she could feel his smile against her neck.

  “God, of all the hot men in New York, why did I have to fall in love with the most annoying one?”

  Suddenly, those words, which she hadn’t meant to say, brought Derick to a screeching halt.

  “Why are you stopping? I told you that you didn’t know what I wanted.”

  She began pushing against his chest, but he kept her pinned against the wall with his hips as he grabbed her wrists with his hands and pinned them, too. “Stop pushing me away, and say that again.”

  Siobhan jutted out her chin. “You don’t know what I want.”

  His grip on her wrists tightened, not to the point of pain but to make it clear that he meant business. “This is your opportunity to give me what I need, Siobhan. Please. Give it to me.”

  She wanted to keep fighting with him. She wanted to get down and walk out of that hotel room and never think about Derick Miller again. But that was never going to happen. Because as she stared into his light-brown eyes, she knew that she’d think of him every day, just as she’d thought about him every day since she’d left him, even though she hadn’t let herself admit it.

  Derick Miller hadn’t just tainted her art, he’d tainted her happiness. It was now completely and utterly dependent on her being with him. She’d been a fool to think differently.

  She pulled her arms down, hoping Derick would release them. He did. Placing her hands on his cheeks, she gazed deeply into his eyes. “I love you, Derick. And despite the fact that you’re completely infuriating, I probably always will.”

  He slid his arms around her waist and held her tight. “I love you, too. And I’ll never stop.”

  She rolled her eyes and said, “I know.”

  “I’m glad we’ve made that clear,” he said. And then his mouth was back on hers. There was no pretty way to describe what he was doing. He was devouring her.

  His hands slid down to squeeze her ass and pull her toward his erection.

  She groaned at the feel of him. “Too many clothes.”

  He put her down long enough for them to rip the clothes off each other. Then he hoisted her back up and slammed her against the wall.

  Sliding her hand into his thick hair, she pulled on the strands as he bit and sucked on her neck.

  This wasn’t going to be gentle makeup sex. This was going to be a savage reclaiming.

  Her free hand scratched down his back as the steady grind of his hips pressed her spine into the wall. They’d both be wearing each other’s marks the next day.

  She shifted up so she could slide herself down on his rock-hard cock. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as she seated herself on him fully. Their skin was damp and hot as they breathed together for a moment before Derick dipped his knees and then thrust up into her.

  He buried his cock deep into her before retreating and repeating. Her breasts bounced with the movement, causing her nipples to graze the hair on his pecs, making the oversensitized buds zing with ecstasy.

  Moans and gasps filled the room, and Derick pumped wildly into her. She wasn’t going to last much longer. She’d missed this too much. Missed him too much.

  “Oh, Derick, I can’t…you’re going to make me come.”

  His breath was hot on her ear as he said, “Do it. Come all over my cock.”

  The words were probably the hottest she’d ever had said to her, and they caused her orgasm to hit her suddenly. The pleasure seemed to be coming from everywhere: her neck as Derick sucked on her skin, her nipples as they rubbed deliciously against him, and her clit as it pulsed when Derick’s cock thrust deeply into her.

  Her entire body was taut with her release, quaking with satisfaction. She kissed him everywhere she could reach, as he continued to pump into her. “Yes. Feels so good. Want you inside me, Derick. I never want you anywhere else.”

  His hips bucked a few more times before his rhythm became erratic. Thrusting hard one last time, he came inside her. He continued moving, letting his cock empty completely before he pulled back enough for them to get some cool air on their skin.

  They kissed lazily for a few minutes as they slowly let their bodies come down from the high they’d just experienced. Finally, Derick stopped kissing her long enough to look into her eyes. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

  Siobhan smiled. “I may need more convincing,” she said as she pulled his lips back to hers.

  Chapter 8<
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  Sliding an arm around Siobhan’s body, Derick let himself feel the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept peacefully beside him. God, he’d missed her.

  He opened his eyes and smiled as they settled on her. The look on her face was relaxed, content. And for the first time in more than a month, he felt that way, too.

  His gaze drifted farther down, taking in the smooth skin on her chest. He moved his hand up to run his thumb over a few red marks he’d put there the night before. A part of him hoped he wouldn’t wake her. But another part—which was currently hard and pressing against Siobhan’s warm thigh—had different plans.

  “I love you,” he said softly in her ear as he trailed kisses down her neck to her breasts. From the moment he had first seen her in the Stone Room, he’d known he would never get enough of her. Although she’d been the one to trip, it was Derick who had fallen.

  Eventually, she began to stir, although he suspected she’d actually been awake longer than she let on. “I love you, too,” she said.

  Derick looked up to see her eyes still closed and a smile on her face. “Say that again.” He’d given the same directive last night, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t think he’d ever grow tired of hearing it.

  This time she opened her eyes and brought a hand down to tangle in his hair as he slowly moved up her body to hover directly above her. “I love you, Derick. I meant it when I said it last night.”

  “I know you did. I just like the sound of it.”

  She gave him a slow, innocent kiss on his lips. “You do, do you?”

  Derick nodded and leaned in to nibble just below her ear. “Yup. You know what else I like the sound of?”

  “What’s that?”

  “You coming underneath me,” he rasped. “Or on top of me. Or in front of me. I’m not picky.”

  Siobhan giggled. Whether it was at his words or what he was doing to her neck, he wasn’t sure.