“Please don’t think I’m judging you. I’m not. And maybe this is none of my business, so you can tell me to butt out if you want.”
His eyes went briefly from side to side. “Okay.”
“You say that you went into the collective after a girlfriend of yours was killed?”
“Yes.”
“Again, this isn’t a judgment, just more of an observation.”
He nodded for her to go on, and she did, thinking through every word before she said it.
“You say that living as an individual is hard and lonely, but I don’t think you’ve really lived as one.”
He frowned. He didn’t look angry, just confused. “Did, though. For seventeen years.”
“Yes, I know, but…life as an individual doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t want to be lonely. You want someone to care, to share your troubles. That’s exactly what being with another person is all about. Romantic relationships, if they are decent and fulfilling, expel the loneliness and give you a companion. I’m sure you cared deeply for this girl, and I’m so sorry for your loss, but…it kind of sounds like puppy love.”
His frown deepened. “What’s…the point?”
“That going into the collective was a rebound move. You did it because you couldn’t deal with the tragedy, not because you didn’t believe in individuality in general.”
He nodded slowly. “Somewhat true, but that…experience solidified…beliefs about individualism. Life is full of tragedy. Easier to deal with even the day-to-day stuff in a collective.”
“But that wasn’t day-to-day stuff. It was one tragedy. And I’m sure it was terrible, but it doesn’t happen every day.”
“Doesn’t matter.” David’s voice remained level.
“Why?”
“Because…have been in the collective for ten years and still feel exactly the same as when…went in—depressed, lonely, hopeless.”
“Yes.” Maggie had to force herself to speak slowly and not let her impatience get the better of her. “But that’s because you’ve been in the collective all this time.”
He frowned, tilting his head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“In order to overcome hardships, you have to deal with them. You have to wade through them and let yourself heal. By going into the collective, you were running from your problems. The collective stagnates you, keeps you from moving forward.”
“Wading through is exactly…negative aspect of individuality that…is the point,” he said. “It’s pain and heartache and anger and sadness. Why would anyone want to go through that?”
“No one wants to go through it, David, but we do because that’s how we grow. If you could live through the tragedy of your first love dying, get through it, heal, and come out on the other side, you would be so much stronger than before.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“In many ways I think you already have.”
David looked up at her, curious. “How?”
“You pulled away from the collective. Nat says most people, even strong individualists and freedom fighters, wouldn’t be able to do that. You did. Something of what your father taught you must still be there, just buried deep. David, will you do something for me?”
He frowned. “What?”
“Earlier, you said you couldn’t condone what the collectives were doing any longer, right?”
He nodded.
“But you won’t say I. Pulling away from them, especially when it meant great pain for you, because they were doing things that are immoral, was a good thing. It was heroic. You should be proud of that. Take responsibility for it. Say I couldn’t condone what they were doing anymore.”
David looked uncomfortable. He opened his mouth and worked it into different forms, but no sound came. Finally he hung his head. “Can’t,” he whispered.
“Yes, you can. David, you must. If you want to help us stop the collectives, to stop the terrible things they’re doing, you must become a person. I know it’s hard, but you must do it. Say I.”
He opened his mouth wide as if to say ahhh but then had a hard time forcing sound past his lips. It came out as more of a grunt than anything else.
“That was good,” she lied. “Try again.”
He formed the sound slowly. “Ahh-y-eee. Ah-ye. I.”
She nodded, the thrill of excitement running through her veins. “Now say the whole thing.”
“I couldn’t condone what they were doing anymore!”
As soon as he said it, his mouth fell open. David was looking at her as though he’d never seen her before. After a moment he looked away. She could see the wheels turning in his head. He was considering the arguments she made, considering this newfound speech. He looked back at her and frowned. He seemed deeply disturbed by something.
“But…would still be alone.”
“You mean I would still be alone.”
He nodded. “I am still alone.”
She shook her head. “Only if you want to be. The team is with you. Marcus is here. I know he’s angry with you, but he’s your brother. And as I said, it doesn’t have to be like that for individuals. Romantic relationships can be very fulfilling. They make life worth living. They chase away the loneliness.”
“You…speak from experience.”
The statement heated her cheeks and made her cough out a laugh.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Actually, now that you say that, I realize I’m a bit of a hypocrite to lecture you about this. I’m more the type to run from relationships.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I guess I just never found anyone it felt natural with, no one I really connected with.” She thought of Marcus, wondering for the millionth time what their relationship had been like.
David reached out and tilted her chin up toward him with an index finger. “Are you thinking of Marcus?”
She gave a little self-conscious laugh. Was she that obvious? “It’s just typical of my luck.” She shrugged.
“What is?”
“That the only fulfilling relationship I’ve ever had is one I can’t remember a thing about.”
He dropped his hand and laughed softly. After a moment, she joined him.
“You’re a surprising person, Maggie.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “Why do you say that?”
He shrugged. “Suppose—I suppose…I made a lot of assumptions about you, about who you’d be, based on the prophecies and what…I know of the collectives’ plans and how you fit into them.”
Maggie frowned. “What do you know of that?”
“Yes, what do you know of that?”
The voice came from behind Maggie and made her jump. She turned to see Doc standing in the middle of the room with Marcus at his shoulder. She’d been so intent on her conversation with David that she hadn’t heard them enter. She wondered how long they’d been standing there. For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to meet Marcus’s eyes.
“What do…I know of what?” David asked.
“You said you knew about the collectives’ plans for Maggie and how she fit into them.” Doc spoke casually with no challenge in his voice, just a simple inquiry.
Marcus was another story. He stood at Doc’s shoulder glaring lightning bolts at his brother.
“It sounds,” Marcus said, “like you know more than you’re saying.”
David’s posture slumped. “I suppose…I do. And…I will tell you, but none of it relates to this mission. If you succeed and pull down the collectives, none of it will matter anyway. Suggest you focus on your current task. We can talk about the specifics of my memory afterward.”
After a moment, Doc nodded. “I suppose that logic is sound.”
Marcus said nothing, but after a pause he gave Doc a grudging look, which Maggie took to mean he didn’t intend to challenge it further.
Doc stepped toward Maggie and David. “David, Marcus came to get me because he thought you might need medical attention.
Are you in a lot of pain?”
David shook his head. “Hardly any at all.”
“Good. Then if you’ll give me a moment, I’ll see to Maggie first. That way she can be on her way to dinner. I understand Nat worked you hard today, Maggie. You need to eat.”
Maggie shrugged but got up to follow Doc into the next room. At the last minute, she turned back to David and lowered her voice.
“I understand you think our way of life is hard, but isn’t there anything you can think of that would make it worthwhile to stay out of the collective? Any feeling you’ve had that you’d like to feel again?”
He didn’t answer, but she hadn’t expected him to. After a moment, she put her eyes on the floor, still avoiding Marcus’s gaze, and followed Doc into the other room.
“What’s going on, Doc?”
“I need to hook you up to a transponder.”
“What’s that?”
“The team will be connected to each other and to me through a system of transponders. We will all be aware of each other’s locations and vital signs. That way if anyone is captured, the rest of the team will be able to feel their way to them. If anyone is hurt, the team will know it and find them to lend help.”
Maggie frowned. “Did we have this technology last time?”
“No. If we had, you wouldn’t have been with the enemy for so long. This is a technology that very recently fell into our hands. Before when you went missing, we had to search blind.”
“Just started opening up all the doors on the ship to see if I was inside?”
Doc smiled. “Something like that. This time we’ll be more prepared and better equipped to go in. I’m hoping that that will spell success for us.”
Doc had what looked like an all-metallic wrist watch in his hands. He was holding it between his palms, concentrating on it intently. She knew he was channeling energy into it that she couldn’t see.
“Doc,” she said after a moment’s silence, “how long were you and Marcus standing behind us?”
Doc gave her a tight smile. “Not long. Though I feel I ought to tell you that before we entered, we stood in the corridor and listened for some time.”
Maggie threw her hands up. It wasn’t that she’d said anything particularly personal, but it had been a private conversation. One in which she’d talked at length about romantic love only to find that a man she’d once had a romantic relationship with—and, once again, couldn’t remember!—was standing outside the door listening. It was just…kind of embarrassing.
Doc chuckled softly. “I apologize if we invaded your privacy, Maggie. It was unintentionally done, uh, at first. But you made a good case. I think David understood what you were saying. That’s more progress than the rest of us have made with him.”
He finished what he was doing with the transponder. “Here.” He fastened it like a watch on her wrist with a delicate silver chain and clasp. “This records your vitals and transmits them to the other transponders the rest of the team will be wearing. If they need you, they can simply follow the waves to the source of transmission.”
He tightened the transponder until it was snug but not uncomfortable. “There. Now go with Marcus to dinner.”
Chapter 21: The Question of Memories
Maggie stood on the mountainside just outside the cargo bay entrance to the compound, letting the cold wind blow her hair back over her shoulders. Marcus and David were arguing behind her.
“But you may need me, Marcus,” David said. “Karl said it: I’m a wealth of information. If you get into a tight spot, I may be the only hope of getting you out again.”
Marcus was shaking his head. “We’ve been over this, David. You’ve only been with us a few days. We don’t trust you yet. Maybe it’s harsh, but there it is. If you want to prove your loyalty, stay here and lay low. Let us do this mission. We can all get better acquainted when we return.”
“But I—”
“No, David. This discussion is over. It’s not like it was my decision alone. The team has decided.”
The rest of the team remained silent with heads lowered. It was true that they had come to a unanimous decision to leave David behind—there was too much potential for him to double cross them when they were behind enemy lines. It felt like a personal argument, so everyone was staying out of it and letting Marcus take the lead.
Doc stepped forward. “What he says is true, David. You must understand our reasoning. Try not to take it personally.”
“I do understand your reasoning, and I’m not taking it personally. I know you don’t trust me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I ought to be going with…you. If anything goes wrong, if you’re detected or captured, I may be your only hope. I know how these people think, how they run things. Can…you afford to leave me behind?”
Doc gave David a sympathetic smile. “We are confident that our team is well-rounded and can deal with any contingency that arises.”
David opened his mouth, but Doc put up a hand.
“Please. Your argument is sound. It is true that you might be a great asset to us, but you could also be a major liability. We’ve decided we will go as a team and nothing more.”
“But you aren’t well rounded. Deceiver is still vacant…the team is vulnerable.”
Doc cocked his head to the side. “Do you have the Deception ability, David?”
“I…no, but—”
“Then what difference does it make?”
For the first time in half an hour, David seemed to be out of arguments, but he looked deeply frustrated.
“David”—Doc put a hand on his shoulder—“you have given us more information than we’ve had in”—he waved a hand around—“in Marcus’s lifetime. If this mission works the way we hope it will, we will owe our success almost exclusively to you. Be content with that.”
David didn’t answer. He didn’t look content, but he didn’t argue again.
“Now.” Doc turned to the team. “We should be on our way by morning. The vehicles are being loaded up. It won’t be a difficult journey, but it will be a long one, so I suggest everyone stretch their legs for as long as possible before we leave. Perhaps go through a mental checklist one more time and make sure you have everything.”
Everyone went in their separate directions, and Maggie sighed. She had been through her “mental checklist” at least six hundred times in the past twenty-four hours and didn’t need to go through it again. Anything she didn’t have was long forgotten already.
She wished they could just leave. She’d been practicing with Nat for three days and had made great strides. The team was right; even she was impressed with how quickly she’d learned under Nat’s tutelage. With just a bit of time and concentration, she could control her flow of energy fairly well now. Of course, she was not at all convinced she would have either luxury if caught in a battle with a member of the Council or the Traveler.
All the time cooped up, practicing for a fight that didn’t seem real had made her stir crazy. The adrenaline built and built but had nowhere to go.
To make matters worse, everyone was worried about the Tracking team that had been sent out. Dillon had led a team of himself and three other Trackers out to find Nat. Marcus explained that they had neurological abilities that allowed them to trace the abilities of others, like a hound dog on a scent. Using certain abilities left a signature, and the Trackers could focus on it and follow the path of the person they came from.
Doc had told Dillon what to look for—what abilities Nat had—so that Dillon could feel for them and use their signature to track Nat. Normally, the Seekers would have been consulted to find out what general location Nat was in, but Doc knew where he was and told Dillon, so the Seekers weren’t needed.
What Doc hadn’t counted on was that Nat was coming to Interchron and was already almost there when the Tracking team left. He wasn’t worried, because he knew Dillon would feel Nat’s abilities close by, and while they might make a superfluous circuit, they would undoubtedly
make their way back to Interchron in a few days.
It had been over a week since the Tracking party left, and there were still no sign of them. The Seekers couldn’t feel their neurological signatures anywhere nearby, and though they didn’t voice it, Maggie knew the team feared the worst. There was nothing they could do, though, except wait and hope.
And they couldn’t wait for word of Dillon to leave on the mission to the island. Dillon wasn’t part of the team, so there was no point. They would head out without knowing his or the other Trackers’ whereabouts. They could only hope that when the team returned, Dillon would be there waiting for them.
It would take two days to get to the coast. From there they would take a watercraft of some sort to the island where the Council and the Traveler resided. Apparently the team had a watercraft somewhere along the California beach. They hid it so the collectives wouldn’t find it, but it was there when they needed it.
Once they reached the island, the real danger would begin.
The best Scanners could map out a place from far away. Several such talented people lived at Interchron, including Doc. But it didn’t matter. The island had a shield around it that was impenetrable to Doc’s scans. Doc said it felt like a void in the ocean. It was a Concealment of sorts, as the ships had before. This time it was Concealing the entire island, though. If David hadn’t shown them where to look for the void, they wouldn’t have known the island was there.
Until they got inside the shield’s barrier and could properly scan the island, they wouldn’t know what they were up against.
Maggie walked to a small stand of trees she was fond of. Half a dozen aspens grew close together in a near-perfect circle, creating a small, shaded cocoon of space. The sound of the wind through the aspen leaves was like nature’s lullaby. She always felt peaceful here.
Inside the copse of trees, she leaned her head back against the thickest one and shut her eyes, willing the weight to leave her chest. It worked. Sort of. As long as she didn’t think about a single thing going on in her life, she felt pretty peaceful.
“Maggie.”
She jumped.
“Sorry,” David said. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
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