She smiled to let him know he was forgiven.
“You like this place, don’t you?” He glanced around at the quaking trees.
She shrugged. “Come on in.”
He turned sideways to fit between two of the trees. Then he was standing in front of her. The copse was small, but she wasn’t nervous. She was more comfortable around David than around Marcus. With Marcus there was always the awkwardness of the relationship she couldn’t remember. She didn’t have to worry about that with David.
“I need to talk to you. Marcus doesn’t want me with the team, but—”
Maggie held her hand up. “David, if you’re here to try and get me to talk to the team about changing their minds—”
“I’m not. It’s not that.”
Maggie eyed him warily. “Okay, then what?”
“You asked me if there was anything I had felt since leaving the collective that I’d like to feel again—that would make me want to remain an individual.”
“Yes.” Maggie tried not to let her delight show. She hadn’t expected him to bring this subject up again.
“There is one thing I thought of. When I first came out of the collective—the first few minutes that I was Alone, I saw the sun come up. I’d seen it many times in my life, but for some reason when I was in the collective it never affected me the same way. It was bright and colorful, and…I cried. I’m not even sure why. I haven’t been touched by something like that since…since…”
“Since the last time you were an individual?”
David frowned. He seemed to struggle with himself, and when he didn’t respond, Maggie went on, hoping an explanation would help him.
“That’s exactly the kind of example I hoped you’d come up with. In a collective, no one can be higher than another in any sense. Don’t you see how wrong that is?”
“People ought to be equal.”
“No. People ought to be treated equally and given equal opportunities, but no two people are exactly alike. They exude their own kind of beauty—strong in some areas, weak in others, and just as beautiful for their weaknesses as for their strengths.”
David frowned, but whether because he was confused or simply didn’t agree with her, she didn’t know.
“When you saw the sunset, you thought it was beautiful.”
“Beautiful.” He said it as though he’d never heard the word before.
“Yes. You were seeing beauty—perhaps for the first time in seventeen years. It was the first time you had the ability to appreciate it in that long. Do you really believe that the sun should not be allowed to be beautiful simply because it’s brighter than the moon?”
David’s brow was furrowed again. “The moon is not as bright…but it’s a different color…more subdued…”
“Exactly. They are beautiful in different ways but equally magnificent in their spheres. Should they be punished and not allowed to show their beauty simply because they are not equal?”
A light of understanding came into David’s eyes, and Maggie’s chest swelled with satisfaction. This was what teachers must feel like when their pupils finally grasp a difficult concept.
“People are the same way, David. They ought to be allowed to show their individual beauty, no matter what form it takes. The collective robs them of that.”
David was staring at her levelly, his unreadable amber eyes never flickering from her face. She shrugged uncomfortably, not able to hold his gaze.
Then he stepped toward her. “I don’t like you going into this without me.”
“You mean the team?”
“No, I mean you, specifically. I told the team the first day I was here that you were the key to the prophecy, but I don’t think I impressed upon everyone the full extent of what I mean. None of you realize how much they want to find you, what lengths they’ll go to, or what they’ll do to you if they capture you.”
Maggie sighed, all semblance of peace long gone. “So why don’t you tell me?”
He took a deep breath, eyes searching the dirt for where to begin. “Maggie, you are the only thing standing between them and world domination—for all time. It’s not a matter of not telling them who you are. They’ll know you the instant they sense you. You will bring down the collectives. You’re too important to put at such risk.”
“And what happens, David, if they do capture me? What will they do?”
He pressed his lips together and looked away.
Maggie’s annoyance flared. “If you aren’t going to tell me everything, then why tell me anything?”
He still didn’t answer but looked distressed.
She decided to prod him along; maybe if she began the thought, he’d finish it. “The last time I was captured, they killed Colin and took my memories.”
David gave her a guarded look, but his face was unreadable, and he stared at her for several seconds before speaking again. “Maggie, I don’t think they did that.”
“What?”
“It’s not something they would do. They would have killed you or forced their way into your mind and taken over. It’s all or nothing with them—complete control or death. Why would they erase your memory and let you go?”
Maggie frowned. “They didn’t let me go. Marcus came in and got me.”
David shook his head. “Joan told me what she remembers about that.”
Maggie noted that David hadn’t asked Marcus.
“She said they were looking for you. Blindly. They stumbled into some random area of the ship and found you lying on the ground. From the way she described it, I think it was a storage space, not a place they would have kept you in captivity. If you were there, someone put you there, meant for them to find you.”
Maggie put a hand to her forehead. “But if they didn’t take my memories, then who did?”
“All I can tell you is that they knew who you were back then too. They would have tried to kill you. Maybe you fought back. Maybe it was something this Colin person did. Either way, you getting out of there was luck. It may not work that way this time.”
“David, why are you telling me all this? What do you expect me to do with it?”
He sighed then dug into a pocket on the outside of his pants. He pulled out a small, gold-colored ring. “This is a conduit. I took it from the collective. I want you to take it with you.”
Maggie regarded it warily. “What’s it made of?”
“Gold. Fourteen karat.”
“Karl said only people with special training are allowed to use pure elements like that. They’re too unpredictable. I don’t think I can—”
“You can. Most people can’t control them because they don’t have the strength. You do. You’ll be fine. With the power you can wield through this, you can protect yourself and the team.”
“That’s not my job, David.”
“Make it your job, and get yourself home safe.”
Maggie looked up at him, and their eyes locked. She saw distress there and desperation. She saw something more than his wish to preserve her for the prophecy’s sake. His eyes were pleading, his hand thrusting the ring out toward her.
“You’re in danger, Maggie. Take it to keep yourself safe.”
In that moment when the cool breeze blew through the mountain foliage, a chill rolled down between Maggie’s shoulder blades, and it wasn’t a pleasant one. In that moment, she believed him utterly; not just that he believed it, but that it was something he knew and was trying desperately to warn her about.
She looked down at the ring he was holding out, wondering if even that would keep her safe now. Not knowing what else to do, she took it. It felt no different from an ordinary ring. She rolled the simple gold band around on her palm. It felt like a brick.
She’d assumed the conversation was over, but David stepped closer, their arms brushing, and when he spoke, his breath fell directly onto her face.
“Keep this in touch with your skin. Don’t wear it on your finger, but put it on a chain or something. Don’t let the te
am know. You’re right. They won’t let you use it. If anyone other than one of them recognizes you, attacks you, looks at you strangely, pull through the ring and lash out. Don’t hesitate.” He tilted her chin up to meet his eyes. “Do you understand?”
She nodded.
“I’ve experienced the kind of punishments the collectives dole out. I wouldn’t have that happen to you.”
He brushed his fingers through her hair before turning and striding away.
Chapter 22: Wind and Water and Scars
That night Maggie couldn’t sleep; her mind was reeling. After hours of staring at the darkness, she gave up on rest and threw her legs over the side of the bed.
The clothes she slept in were neither uncomfortable nor revealing, so she didn’t bother to change. Instead she stole out into the darkened hallway on bare feet, her long pajamas swishing as she walked.
The room directly beside hers was where Marcus slept. Despite the fact that there were no doors, she knew his room would be dark and he wouldn’t be able to see her go past, but she tiptoed on the other side of the hall anyway, feeling paranoid. After all, they would be going on a dangerous mission in the morning.
Once she was beyond Marcus’s room, she made her way through the twisting tunnels of the compound. All was dark and quiet, as most people were sleeping this time of night. There were always a few people up on patrol, but they wouldn’t be on the lower levels.
Maggie didn’t think about where she was going until she got there, but when she stood before the passage to the Canyon room, she knew she’d meant to end up there all along. She felt drawn to the spot for reasons she couldn’t explain.
Maggie found the conduit stone Joan had used as a lantern. After a month’s learning, doing simple things like producing light and using stones meant for specific purposes were coming easily to her. Cupping the round stone in her hand, she thought of light, and immediately a beam came from the rock, stretching out in front of her. It was dimmer than Joan’s had been, but she preferred it that way; it seemed cozier.
She made her way into the vacant cavern, holding the rock out in front of her. Unlike the last time she’d visited with Joan, a soft but constant wind was blowing through. It was strange, counterintuitive. She was deep in the mountain, but the wind was blowing as though she was standing on a mountaintop. She could see the precipice of the drop-off only because the ground she was on was a lighter darkness than the far bank. She felt drawn to that precipice but forced herself to stay several feet back. She had visions of being blown off into the emptiness, and when she shone the light toward the cliff, it looked foreboding.
Maggie sat on the same rock she and Joan talked on before and set the light down beside her. It went out, but she closed her eyes and envisioned bringing light from it. It was harder to do when her skin wasn’t actually in contact with the object. It took several tries, but finally a dull light came from the rock again. She made it stronger over several seconds, but it wasn’t as strong as when she was touching it. She pulled it into her lap with resignation. Would she ever be able to make this second nature?
Wondering what she was even doing here, she shone the light around the cavern, running the beam over the walls and turning in a circle. It jumped and dove as the rocks bubbled and caved in the natural formation of the mountain. The sound of the water from behind the far wall couldn’t be heard, drowned out by the soft moaning of the wind. The cavern was cool and dry, formed completely of dull, gray rock, and there was a man standing in the doorway.
Maggie jumped to her feet, dropping the light, which went out when it hit the floor. Her heart pounded against her rib cage, and though she tried, she couldn’t bring it back on.
“It’s me, Maggie.”
Maggie let her breath out in a whoosh at the sound of Marcus’s voice. She wished he would stop sneaking up on her like that.
His steps padded toward her in the loose dirt, and then his hand was on her arm. She could feel his breath on her cheek.
“Find the light, Maggie.”
She bent her knees, but his hand tightened on her arm, keeping her from crouching down.
“Use your mind. Find it, and imagine pulling light through it. You have to be able to do this.”
“I usually can. You just scared me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. But anytime it’s necessary to be able to create light out of non-luminous objects, you’re probably going to be afraid, so it’s crucial to master this despite your adrenaline.”
Maggie knew he was right, even if she was a bit annoyed that he kept challenging her to do things she wasn’t completely comfortable with. She closed her eyes and tried to think of where the conduit stone was, tried to imagine the light beam again. She opened her eyes. Darkness pressed in from all sides. She tried again. Still nothing.
Marcus stepped behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. They were warm and large enough to encompass her entire shoulder, front and back.
“Reach out with your mind, Maggie.”
“I did.”
She could feel his patient smile as his breath came hot against her right ear.
“Don’t think of the rock for a minute. Think of the air. It’s cool and refreshing. It’s all around you. You can feel it flying past. Concentrate on it.”
Eyes closed, Maggie imagined she could see the air as it whooshed past. It was blue laced with white.
“Now,” Marcus continued, “where are the voids in the air?”
The most obvious was the ground. The air was all around her, but it wasn’t rushing under her feet. Next was him. He was standing close enough that she couldn’t feel the air on her back. He wasn’t pressed up against her, but she could feel the mass of his body behind her. She could feel its warmth, the way it displaced the air around it, the energy of his bodily functions, the beat of his heart.
For the first time understanding what it meant to cast her mind out, she did it, reaching farther. She could feel the far wall of the canyon. It was twenty feet thick and laced with mineral deposits. The canyon reached down for hundreds of feet. She couldn’t feel its bottom. She reached farther, trying to feel for its depth.
Marcus’s hands seized her around the waist and yanked her backward. Her eyes flew open, and she gasped. She had been leaning out over the edge of the cliff, looking down. He’d grabbed her just as she’d begun falling over. She hadn’t even realized she was walking forward.
Marcus spun her around to face him. There was still no light—she hadn’t gotten around to finding the conduit stone—but she could feel his breath on her face and neck. When he spoke, she realized his face was even closer to hers than she’d thought, only inches away.
“You’re finally grasping what we’re trying to teach you. More than just feeling what’s around you, you were exploring it, understanding it. That’s good. You just have to learn to root your feet to one spot. Explore with your mind, not your body.”
He was smiling as he said it; she could feel his mirth, but then he turned more serious.
“Now, find the light.”
Trying to ignore the fact that she was actually touching him now and could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, she felt again for the void in the wind. There was the ground, and then there was a small, round void near where she had been sitting. It was about the right size.
She felt movement from Marcus and realized he was nodding. “Good. Now, feel what it’s made of—the potential energy it houses. Imagine the elements, the very atoms coming together to produce luminescence. Imagine them clicking together like the ignition of a flame.
Maggie imagined exactly that, and the cavern was flooded with milky, fluorescent light. Both of them tensed, eyes shutting. The light was so bright that they wouldn’t have seen the cavern even if they could’ve kept their eyes open.
“Uh, okay,” Marcus said, “now tone it down before you blind us both.”
Maggie chuckled in spite of herself, and Marcus laughed with her. It took a f
ew seconds, but she brought the light down to a more humane spectrum. The light was no longer coming out of the rock on one side in a beam, but rather the entire rock was like a perfectly round bulb, emanating light from every part of its surface.
“You must have some kind of imagination, Maggie. Every time you successfully visualize something, everyone’s senses go into shock.”
She softly laughed again. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s amazing.”
They both realized at the same moment how close together they were standing. Marcus cleared his throat and stepped back.
“You know, you really shouldn’t be walking alone next to plunging drop-offs in the middle of the night. You could die.”
“Hey! If you hadn’t startled me, I wouldn’t have had to go looking for the light to begin with.”
A look of amusement stole onto his face. “Fair enough. Still, what are you doing down here in the middle of the night?” He looked around. “It’s interesting that you chose this place.”
“Actually, it’s not. Joan brought me here the first day I met her. She said I used to love it here.” Maggie sighed, letting her eyes run over what the light revealed. “I totally understand why.”
Marcus’s smile widened. “I never understood what you saw in this place. Why do you like it so much? Most people would find it…depressing.”
“I don’t know. It’s peaceful, I guess. It’s like—” Maggie turned toward the drop-off and crossed her legs, plopping down onto her backside in the dirt. “There’s all the possibility of hope but without any of the weight.”
“The weight?” He sat down beside her.
“The weight of life.”
Marcus sat close enough that their shoulders brushed, and when she looked at him, he was leaning slightly toward her. His face was inches from hers. His piercing eyes bored into hers, and she found she couldn’t tear her gaze away. He smiled and looked toward the precipice.
“Maggie, this place is completely solitary. No one lives down here, and it’s dark most of the time. Most people think it’s lonely and creepy. You find peace and hope.”
Maggie chuckled. She supposed it did sound crazy. “Well, I’m not saying I’d want to live here all the time. That would be lonely. But when I need the quiet…”
Persistence of Vision Page 21