Dummy of a Ghost (Novella) (Ghost of Granny Apples)

by Jaffarian, Sue Ann

  “Well,” answered Frank, looking a bit sheepish, “we didn’t think we could, not even when your daughter called the other day and told us how much it would mean to Chris.”

  “But when she called this morning and told us what had happened, we couldn’t stay away,” added Patricia. She smiled at Kelly. “Your daughter can be quite persuasive.”

  Emma looked at Kelly with wonder. “Yes, she can be.”

  Behind the Mays, the ghosts of Doug and Shirley Pearson gave Kelly wide grins and two thumbs-up.

  The show was raucous and fun. Even the straitlaced Mays seemed to be having a good time, especially after a couple of cocktails. Chris was up next to last, and when he made his appearance on stage, he did a double take when his eyes flashed over this parents sitting up front. After a short stutter at the beginning of his act, Chris took off as if energized, and he and Mr. Butt-Ugly brought the house down with a nearly seamless routine.

  After all the contestants had performed, there was an intermission during which the judges would deliberate on the winner. During that time, Emma, Kelly, and the Mays went backstage to say hello, along with the trio of happy ghosts.

  “Mom. Dad. You came.” Chris put down the puppet and went to his parents. He stopped just short of hugging them. The three of them stood facing each other, awkward and unsure of how to make the first move, until Kelly gave Chris a bump forward. He nearly fell into his mother, who immediately wrapped her arms around him.

  “We’re so sorry, Christopher. So sorry,” she sobbed.

  When the embrace ended, Frank May held out his right hand toward Chris. “You were funny as hell, son. The star of the show. We’re so proud.” Instead of shaking his father’s hand, Chris wrapped his arms around his dad and squeezed. His father returned the embrace.

  Chris stepped back, looped an arm through Edgar’s, and drew him forward. “Mom and Dad, you know Edgar, my fiancé.”

  Another awkward moment, a longer one, then Edgar held out his right hand in invitation. Patricia May stepped forward. She didn’t take Edgar’s hand, but instead leaned in and kissed both of his cheeks. “Welcome to the family, dear.” She sniffed back tears. “Do you two need help planning the wedding?”

  “Now, that’s the girl I raised,” said Shirley. Both she and Doug stood close by, beaming.

  Granny floated up. “Look at that, a happy ending, just like in the movies.”

  Suddenly, Doug nudged Shirley. “Look over there, Shirl. Is that the guy who broke into Chris’s house?”

  Shirley looked in the direction he indicated. “It sure is. Don’t tell me he’s here to finish the job.” She turned to Kelly. “We have to talk. It’s urgent.”

  With a nod to Emma, Kelly walked several steps away and pulled out her cell, a tool her mother often used to disguise the fact that she was talking to a spirit. The three ghosts followed. Kelly held the phone to her ear and turned away from the crowd. “What is it?”

  “That man over there,” Shirley began, “the one with the dark hair talking to that Judy girl.”

  Kelly turned slowly until she saw him. “Yeah, I see him.”

  “That’s the guy,” Doug said with excitement, “who broke into the house. He’s the one who assaulted Chris and the snoopy lady.”

  “Are you sure?” asked Kelly.

  The two ghosts nodded. “We’d recognize him anywhere,” Shirley said.

  Kelly looked back at the Mays and her mother. They were chatting away like magpies with Chris and Edgar.

  “Granny,” Kelly said, “tell Mom what’s going on. I’m going over to Judy to find out who that guy is. Doug and Shirley, why don’t you come with me and get a closer look before we make any moves.”

  Kelly wandered over to where Judy Jump was standing with the man the ghosts had indicated and another performer, a man named Leroy who used a monkey puppet. Judy smiled as she approached. “Hi, Kelly.”

  “I wanted to come over and say congratulations on the great show.” She turned to the other performer. “Great jobs, both of you.”

  “Thanks,” said Leroy, “but it was really Chris who killed it tonight. If he doesn’t win, I’ll be shocked.” Someone waved to Leroy and he excused himself.

  “Chris really did do great,” said Judy. “Where did he get that new puppet from? It’s hilarious.”

  “That’s Buddy,” Kelly explained, “the puppet he used when he first learned ventriloquism. Edgar gave him a last-minute makeover yesterday so Chris could do the show.”

  Judy looked surprised. “But I thought the creep who broke in wrecked all the dummies.”

  “Buddy was in a closet.”

  The guy next to Judy laughed. “Kind of like Chris himself.”

  Judy shot him a hard look.

  “I’m sorry,” said Kelly to the man, “but I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kelly Whitecastle.” She looked him over. He was tall and slim with light brown skin, just as Snoop Dog and the Pearsons had described him.

  The guy shook her hand with a short, punctuated jerk. “Dave Loomis. Judy’s boyfriend.”

  “That’s the guy, Kelly,” Doug said. “We’re absolutely sure.”

  “Kelly,” Emma called. “Over here.” A couple of feet away, Emma stood aiming her phone at the group. “Come on now, you guys, pose nice,” she urged. “It’s a special night.” Judy, Dave, and Kelly grouped together and smiled for the camera while Emma took a couple of photos.

  “We’d better get back to our table,” Kelly told them. “Nice meeting you,” she said to Dave. “Good luck,” she said to Judy.

  “Aren’t you rooting for Chris?” asked Judy.

  “Of course, but I understand second prize is a thousand dollars and third is five hundred.”

  “You know what Dale Earnhardt said, don’t you?” asked Dave.

  Kelly shook her head.

  “Second place is just the first place loser.”

  “Then may the best ventriloquist win.” Kelly smiled and turned toward her mother. “And may you both get everything you deserve,” she mumbled under her breath.

  Back at the table, Kelly asked her mother, “Where are the Mays?”

  “They decided to stay backstage with Edgar while the winners are announced.” She looked at Kelly. “That was a wonderful thing you did, calling them.”

  Kelly shrugged. “I had to give it a shot. In this case, it took two shots. I know how I’d feel in Chris’s shoes.” Kelly looked the crowd over, then said to Emma in a whisper, “Doug and Shirley are sure that Dave, Judy’s boyfriend, is the one who attacked Chris and wrecked their place. And after meeting him, my gut is saying it’s true. They may think Judy’s their friend, but I think she’d doing anything in her power to win this contest, even eliminating Chris with violence.”

  “Ever hear of Nancy Kerrigan?” Emma asked. “Or Tonya Harding?”

  Kelly thought a minute. “Wasn’t Kerrigan an ice-skater?”

  “Yes, both Kerrigan and Harding were champion ice-skaters, even Olympians. When you were just a tiny baby, Tonya Harding’s husband hired a thug to break Kerrigan’s leg so she couldn’t skate. He didn’t break her leg, though, only injured it, and she went on to win silver in the Olympics. Harding competed in the same Olympics but lost. After that, her career did a big belly flop.”

  “Wow,” Kelly said. “By the way, good thinking taking that photo of us.”

  “Yes, once Granny told me what was going on I called the officer who took the report and sent him the photo. He’d given me his card yesterday. I let him know the guy who might have broken into Chris and Edgar’s and assaulted Ms. Doxson was here right this minute. Maybe if Ms. Doxson is up to it, they can show the photo to her. Otherwise, I’m not sure what we can do. We can hardly say ghosts told us he’s the guy.”

  “So what did you tell the cop to explain how you knew Dave was the one?”

  “I said he had a bad cut on his hand and was acting kind of guilty around Chris.” Emma shot Kelly a slightly sheepish look. “The last part I made up.�
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  “A cut? I didn’t notice that, and I shook hands with him. And how do you know his injury came from the break-in?”

  “I don’t, but it was worth a shot. It’s on his left hand,” Emma told her. She pulled out her phone and showed Kelly the photo. Kelly was to Dave’s right. Judy to his left. For the photo, Dave had put his left arm around Judy’s shoulder. Sure enough, his left hand bore a wide white bandage. “What’s his name?” Emma asked. “I didn’t get that before. I just gave them Judy’s name.”

  “Dave Loomis.”

  Emma punched the information into her phone and sent the text. “There, now the officer has a face and a name to go on.”

  The MC of the show came on and the audience hushed. All the performers and their puppets filed onto the stage. The third place winner was announced first. It was Leroy. He and his monkey puppet waved to the crowd and took a bow. Next came second place. The thousand dollars went to a woman named Lindsay Holm who performed with a vampire puppet. Finally it was time to name the grand prize winner. The music swelled, then waned. When it was silent again the announcer called out in a great shout: “Christopher May!”

  Confetti fell from the rafters. Music blared. The crowd thundered with applause, shouts, and whistles. Chris, clutching Mr. Butt-Ugly, fell to his knees as Edgar and the Mays dashed onstage to swarm him with hugs. Kelly’s face hurt from grinning. Her hands stung from applauding. She glanced over at her mother to see tears of joy coming down Emma’s cheeks. Even Granny, Doug, and Shirley were clapping and jumping up and down. Doug and Shirley the puppets may have been sidelined, but the Doug and Shirley who really mattered had been here to see Chris’s triumph.

  During all the excitement, Kelly’s eyes roved across the other performers’ faces. Most seemed the same—disappointment for themselves mixed with appreciation for the winner. Judy’s face was hard and her brows knitted. Just offstage, Kelly saw something else—something Judy didn’t see: uniformed officers.

  Chapter 14

  “So, you ready to go back to school tomorrow?” asked Phil as he settled against the railing of the porch at Emma’s cabin in Julian.

  They’d just returned from Phil’s ranch across the way, where Phil’s Aunt Susan and Uncle Glenn had hosted a huge dinner to say good-bye to Kelly. Emma’s parents had driven down to Julian with them on Friday and had stayed behind at the ranch house to play cards with Susan and Glenn.

  “Yes and no,” answered Kelly truthfully. “I love school and living in Boston, but I’m always sad to leave home, especially Julian. I love it here.” She sat in one of the four large rockers on the wide porch and moved gently back and forth. To her left Emma sat in another chair. To Kelly’s right two other rockers moved in rhythm, occupied by the ghosts of Granny Apples and her husband, Jacob. The mountain night air was cool, and except for the ghosts, they were all bundled in jackets and held mugs of hot cocoa.

  “Julian will be here when you come home again,” said Granny. “It will always be your home. It’s in your blood.”

  Emma quietly conveyed Granny’s words to Phil. “So true,” he agreed. “Just like the ghost thing.” He took a sip from his mug. “Speaking of which, whatever happened to Doug and Shirley?”

  “After the police arrested Dave and Judy,” Emma said, “and Chris and his parents were reunited, Doug and Shirley decided to move on to the other side permanently.”

  “Too bad,” said Granny. “I liked them.”

  “I liked them, too, Granny, but they felt what they were called here to do was done and they weren’t needed any longer.”

  “You mean looking after Chris?” asked Phil.

  “Yes,” answered Emma. “And Edgar doesn’t have to worry anymore either. Frank May looked into the guy who had threatened him years ago. He died in a prison fight about two years back.”

  “So he didn’t write that note or make those calls?” asked Phil.

  Kelly shook her head. “No, it was all Judy Jump,” she explained. “She knew Edgar’s story and used it to try to scare him and Chris, giving a plausible reason for the vandalism so no one would look closer to home. When Dave failed to get to the Doug and Shirley puppets twice, Judy set it up to make sure both Edgar and Chris were out of the house. It was even her idea to go somewhere where they could take Pugsley along.” Kelly laughed. “The only thing she didn’t count on was Snoop Dog. Chris and Edgar never told her about their nosey neighbor.”

  “By the way,” Emma said. “I stopped by the hospital yesterday to see Sylvia.”

  “Sylvia?” Kelly asked.

  “Yes,” Emma said with a smile. “I’ve been granted permission to call her Sylvia. I also met her niece Josephine. Josephine and her family are Sylvia’s only living relatives and they live near Oxnard. When Sylvia is well enough she’s going into a retirement home near them. Josephine told me they’ve been trying to get her aunt to do that for years. Sylvia’s fighting it, but the doctor is insisting that she can’t live alone anymore. Chris and Edgar have offered to pack up the house and look after it until it’s sold. They’ve been by several times to visit her in the hospital.”

  Phil took a long drink from his mug and wiped his moustache. “Did you tell the guys about Shirley and Doug the ghosts?”

  “No,” answered Emma. “Doug and Shirley decided they didn’t want them to know, especially since they weren’t sticking around.”

  “What about the other ghost? The one under the tree, the murdered guy?” he asked.

  “Not a murdered guy at all,” Emma explained. “It turns out his name is Sid and he’s the spirit of a very old man who expired recently. He and his wife used to live in Chris and Edgar’s house many years ago. He wanted to visit it one last time, then got confused and didn’t know how to cross over. Granny did the honors of escorting him to the over side.”

  “That’s right,” Granny said with a jerk of her chin. “I got him back on track. His wife was waiting for him.”

  Kelly got up from the rocking chair. “I’m beat,” she said with a yawn. “As much fun as it was, all this ghost-busting is exhausting. And we have to be out of here early tomorrow to get to the airport on time.”

  She leaned over and kissed Emma good night. Then went to Phil and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for a great visit, you guys.” She turned to the ghosts. “Night, Granny and Grandpa Jacob.” Both ghosts gave her a courtly nod before she left.

  Phil took the rocker next to Emma. “She never mentioned Nate all weekend. Everything okay?”

  “Yes and no,” Emma told him, keeping her voice low. “She broke it off with him Thursday night.”

  “I didn’t know that,” said Granny, getting up and coming over to stand in front of Emma.

  Emma nodded. “Yes, Kelly decided as much as he likes Nate, he isn’t the one for her and that she wouldn’t be able to find someone else if she still had that connection.”

  “Huh,” said Phil. “That was a very mature decision on her part.”

  “I’m not surprised,” said Granny. “I never saw her eyes sparkle when she was around him. Not like yours.”

  “Mine?” asked Emma, confused.

  “Yeah,” said the ghost. “When you’re around the cowboy, your eyes light up, even when you’re mad at him. Same as me for my Jacob over there. And your mother for your dad. Kelly didn’t have that spark for Nate, even though he’s a good guy. And he didn’t have that spark for her. They are both better off this way, sad as it is.”

  Emma conveyed Granny’s explanation to Phil.

  “So, fancy pants,” he said to Emma when she was done, “I make your eyes sparkle, do I?”

  Emma leaned over and kissed him soundly. “You know you do, cowboy.”

  After another kiss, Phil looked over at Jacob even though all he saw was a moving rocking chair. “How about that, Jacob? And all this time I thought it was the ghosts giving her that shimmer.”

  Keep reading for a special excerpt from Sue Ann Jaffarian’s next Ghost of Granny Apples Mystery …
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br />   GHOST OF A GAMBLE

  Coming in paperback April 2014 from Berkley Prime Crime!

  The light fixture was as common as a rock. A simple white metal cylinder recessed into a textured, plain white kitchen ceiling, it beamed soft light down onto the counter below without fanfare or embellishment, like the billions of light fixtures like it around the world.

  Emma Whitecastle peered up at it and saw nothing unusual. The baby, however, thought it the greatest attraction since peekaboo. His face blossomed with joy and he dissolved into a fit of giggles each time he looked up. From his seat in the bouncer, the child waved his pudgy arms and legs like a turtle trying to right itself and jabbered happily at the ceiling. His laughter was infectious and Emma couldn’t help giggling along with him.

  If you didn’t count Oscar, her ex-husband’s midlife crisis son from his midlife crisis bimbo second wife, it had been a long time since Emma had seen a baby up close and personal. Even with Oscar, she’d kept her distance, given the family dynamics. Emma looked down at the little boy in the bouncer and thought about her own child, Kelly, and how she’d been a sweet, good-natured baby like this. Kelly was now in her third year at Harvard.

  “He’s sure a happy little fella.” The comment came from Granny Apples, who watched the child from a few feet away.

  Emma nodded without acknowledging the presence of the ghost of her great-great-great-grandmother, instead keeping her eyes on the little boy dressed in pint-size jeans and a green T-shirt covered in orange giraffes.

  “What’s his name again?”

  The question was not aimed at Granny, but at the woman standing behind the counter on which the baby’s seat rested. The counter jutted out from the wall like an arm, separating the cluttered but cheerful kitchen from the eating area that housed a well-used wooden kitchen table.

  “Nicholas,” the woman replied. “He’s about seven months old.”

  Nicholas giggled again and bent in half, grabbing his feet in his little hands in a form of infant calisthenics. When he let go, his face beamed upward, as if searching for approval. He still wasn’t looking at Emma. Nicholas only had eyes for the overhead light, communicating to it with smiles and baby babble.