Ruin of Stars

by Linsey Miller

  “And?” I shrugged, circling right. “How much am I worth? I’m Nacean, but I bet there’s much more about me that offends you. At what point does my life become worthy of caring about? You slaughtered a country and then kept on doing it once you found out a few of them lived. You threatened to start a war and get your people killed just to make sure you lived and Erlend stayed around. What’re you worth?”

  Riparian circled left, head slightly tilted and mouth barely open, like the words coming out of my mouth were a jumble of nonsense instead of Alonian.

  “I saved fifty thousand people by suggesting we lure them through Nacea instead of east,” she said slowly. Like explaining “sit” to a dog. “Nacea had only thirty-five thousand at the time of the last census, and ten thousand made it to Erlend. I will take twenty-five thousand deaths over fifty thousand every day until die.”

  How many Naceans would have been too many? How many Erlends too few? Where was the line?

  “Tonight, then,” I said in Nacean, “and then you’ll never take anyone else’s life at all.”

  I grasped my knife tighter and took off my mask.

  “What are you worth?” I asked again, revealing the list of names on the inside of my mask. I carved a line through hers and laid it on the ground. “Bargain with me.”

  “What do you want?”

  My family. Rath. Ruby.

  To have more happy memories than I had ghosts.

  I laughed. “I don’t want anything. I want nothing. I want you to be nothing. I want your memory to be a blank spot on our history. I want your legacy to be an ink smear on a blank page. There is nothing I want from you.”

  She dove to run around me. I leapt, catching her around the waist. We tumbled to the stones, my knees against her chest, and she drove her little knife into my arm. I knocked her arm away. The knife shuddered in the wound.

  I’d cut myself there once, to hide a ring and make deal—a little pain, a pretty payoff. But my arm didn’t hurt now.

  There was no pain in death, and there was only death in me.

  Lady, let my debts be paid. Let the world be better.

  No Rath to bandage my wounds now. Never again.

  “I’m your shadow, Lena de Arian. You made me. You made this death.” One hand holding the knife to her throat and one hand pulling her blade from my upper arm, I let the blood drip across her. Nacean blood on Erlend skin. “Our Queen sent me after you and didn’t put a price on your head because this is the only legacy you will ever have. You’re a tragedy. Nothing else.”

  A debt of blood repaid in flesh.

  She took a breath. “I—”

  And I slit her throat.

  Chapter Fifty

  Elise pulled me from the alley. I picked up my knife, arm aching. Her hands slid across my shoulders, my jaw, and wiped the blood from my nose. I let her help me to my feet and stumbled from the alley. Maud met us at the mouth of Riparian’s grave. She covered me in a clean cloak. Everything hurt.

  Everything always hurt.

  “One left,” I whispered. “One left.”

  Two stars, two titles—one granted by the Lady as a symbol of protection and one a secret name meant to hide a murderer.

  North Star.

  But I felt no better for these deaths.

  Just tired.

  They walked me back to the amphitheater. Moira, perched on the edge of the stage and showing Riparian’s ledgers to desperate onlookers, swayed with each word and breath, the quick rise of her chest too fast to be safe. I sat next to her.

  “They’ll catch up to the rangers by dawn,” Moira whispered to me as the crowd around us thinned. “And he’s still out there. Running.”

  Was this Nacea? Lost stars and tears and ashes?

  Or was this Erlend?

  Winter and Riparian were dead.

  But North Star still lived free.

  “What now?” I asked, but the rough drag of my voice was too soft to be truly mine. Had I always been this tired?

  “Nacea.” She coughed and wiped her face, wincing at her own voice. “We protect Nacea and Erlend. Lynd will rebel—the officers and low-born nobles won’t like us turning them over to Igna—but we have to keep control. We have to end this. Those here tonight will be on our side. They all lost someone to Weylin’s schemes.”

  Nacea.

  There were others out there. Whole families and friends and towns still breathing and living. Together. Digging their toes into this same earth. Snoring beneath the stars I couldn’t see. Unaware of the rangers racing toward them.

  It wasn’t Erlend that had ruined us. It was North Star, Deadfall, Riparian, Caldera, Winter, Coachwhip, and all the other folks who placed themselves higher than others. Who thought living equally meant taking a loss. Who viewed the world through a lens of Erlend worth and found us lacking. Who’d tried to reshape the world into their image so many times they’d nearly broken it.

  Had broken it.

  Had dragged dead souls back to life and left them confused and in pain to wander the land. Had let us die so they wouldn’t be devoured for their own mistake.

  No more.

  “Moira.” Her Nacean name stuck in my mouth, unfamiliar, awkward, and I knew that North Star was at fault for that too. But she wouldn’t mind. She’d understand. “What do you need your knife to do?”

  “I’m glad they’re gone,” she muttered. “I’m glad no Naceans will have to suffer in Weylin’s labs again.”

  I looked around; the only ones left around us were Elise, Maud, Adella, and the other Naceans.

  “They’re hanging the bodies of Nevierno and Lena from the city gates like Weylin did to deserters during the war.” Adella shuddered. “The whole city will know soon.”

  Moira wiped her face and looked around. The remaining people watched us, uneasy, and the few soldiers who’d come to see the commotion stayed on the outskirts. A few had been stripped of their weapons by furious Erlend onlookers shouting about betrayal. “I will take care of Lynd and Erlend if you will take care of Gaspar del Weylin.”

  “Gladly.” My dead were a part of me—the seven from auditions and the countless others I’d added since—and I had to make their deaths worthy. I had to put an end to this. “We end this now. No more war. No more shadows. Peace begins with us.”

  Not an end but a beginning.

  The tall Nacean who’d mouthed their name to me—Hal Avery—and nothing else, crouched next to us. “Moira, time to sleep.”

  “I know.” She nodded and nearly collapsed. Her gaze found mine. “I didn’t use Dimas, didn’t trust him, but I can’t do much else while bound to the shadows. This is Hal. Let them heal you.”

  “Nice to meet you, Sal.” Hal grinned, strained, but held out their hands palm up before touching me.

  I scowled, slumping against Elise behind me. “I don’t like runes.”

  “You need help.” Elise carded my matted hair. She sighed, breath warm at the back of my neck. “If I’d trusted you, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  “You thought she was better than she was,” I said. Just like I’d thought Our Queen was better than she was. “She gave you hope when you had none. I’m sorry I got up in arms about you trusting her.”

  “And I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.” Elise smiled, close lipped and tight. “I’m sorry no one—and none of us—are how we appear.”

  I grinned and nodded to Maud. “Maud’s always how she appears.”

  Nose scrunched up as she sneered, Maud glared at me.

  One bright spot among my bloody memories.

  “See?” I waved to her. “She’s always annoyed at me.”

  “You make it so easy,” Maud said. She helped Hal and Elise haul me to my feet.

  “One rune,” said Hal, “and then you can go on your way. Only one.”

  I nodded. They drew a Nacean word I didn’t know on the soft skin of the back of my hand, and their blood sunk into me with a shudder. The bruises of that hand began to darken and fade. Riparian’s
last wound stopped aching. I opened my mouth to thank them, but magic prickled in the back of my throat. I groaned.

  “Thank you,” Elise said for me.

  Hal nodded and gathered Moira up in their arms.

  “My quarters.” Elise hooked her arm through mine. “It has locks and plenty of space.”

  I leaned against Elise. “So I get to sleep in your bed?”

  The words barely made it past my lips.

  “Of course,” she said softly. “How else am I going to make sure you don’t run off to do anything dangerous before resting?”

  “Thank you.” The rough rub of her tired voice in my ears set my teeth on edge, and I touched her shoulder to make sure she was still there. My feet kept moving but my eyes fluttered shut.

  Elise led me into her bedroom and locked the door. I kicked off my boots and crashed on the bed. Elise laughed softly. Her fingers worked at my coat.

  “Come on,” she whispered. “No blood in the bed.”

  I shifted till she could pull my coat free, and there was a rustle as cloth hit the floor. Elise settled next to me.

  My legs dangled over the edge, and for a brief, panicked moment, all I could think of was shadows crawling from the dark beneath. I pulled myself fully onto the bed and buried myself beneath the blankets. My heart calmed as soon as I covered my head.

  The metallic, stinging scent of ink burned up my nose. I sighed. Safe.

  Leon. Perrin. Shea. Hia. Sal.

  North Star. Deadfall. Riparian. Caldera. Winter.

  One more.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  “We have a problem.” Moira’s voice snapped me out of sleep. “You’ve had two days. We have work to do.”

  I jerked up, tangled in the blanket, and blinked till the world righted. Two days and I still felt raw. I hadn’t even wanted to wait. “What’s it?”

  “Weylin.” Elise sat next to me, hand taking mine. “He contacted Our Queen.”

  “About what?” I rubbed my face and picked the gunk from my eyes. “How he got his court killed and fled his city?”

  “No, it was before you even got here. About how he’s still got control of the largest army on this continent and also has a bunch of shadows working for him,” Moira said. “About how, if she doesn’t sign over control of the northern lands of Erlend to him officially and withdraw her troops from the seceded holdings, he’ll kill every Alonian and Nacean here.”

  Of course he did. “How do you know this?”

  “A friend of yours was found freezing to death this morning.” Moira turned her head to the doorway. “He said he was hunting Dimas Gaila.”

  I peered around her.

  “Nice to see you alive.” It was Roland, road weary and nose nearly frostbitten but still breathing. He grinned at me.

  “You too.” I nodded to his plain clothes. “Scouting?”

  “Got a note a little while ago instructing every scout to grab as many folks as they could and get out of Erlend.” He shrugged, the bandage on his arm crinkling, and gestured to Elise. “Lady de Farone explained what happened.”

  I took the moment to glance around—Elise’s quarters were mostly bare, save for my neatly folded and cleaned clothes in the corner. Elise, Moira, Adella, Roland, and I were the only people in here. Moira was sitting, knees shaking against each other. I sucked on my teeth.

  “So,” I said, “what’s the downside here? Who cares if they make a deal?”

  Elise squeezed my hand. “Because it’s a wartime treaty.”

  “Because Weylin had Dimas draw up a treaty days ago—using runes.” Moira flinched as she spoke. “It is magically binding, and once your queen signs it, she and Weylin will be bound to uphold it, politically and magically.”

  Elise collapsed next to me. “So we’ll have peace, but he will still be the hero, alive and living out his days in tranquility.”

  Still a king. Still able to plot. Still able to write his own history.

  “Is there a chance she won’t sign it?” Moira took a deep breath. “It would shift the borders. She’d be trapping scouts and soldiers and you all and whoever else is here, in Erlend under Weylin’s rule. He could try all of you as traitors.”

  “What’s the alternative?” I threw off the blankets and stood, spine cracking and ash crumbling from my grimy skin. I wanted to run, hunt, have North Star bleeding beneath my blades. “Shadows and soldiers and a war she fears Igna couldn’t win? If she thinks the shadows are on his side and more could die from the war than could die up here right now, she’ll sign it. Wouldn’t you?”

  Moira nodded.

  “She’ll sign it.” I buried my face in my hands. History was endless—less dead if she signed. She would kill us all to save Igna. Hundreds of thousands of people would live if she signed it and only a few hundred would die. She’d weigh those lives, not with worth like Riparian had when given the option of letting a few Erlends die to save all of Nacea, but she’d still weigh them. She’d justify them as a better exchange. “We can’t get word to her, can we?”

  The shadows were out saving the Nacean settlements. We had magic but barely any knowledge of how to use it outside of violence. We had only us.

  “Not fast enough,” Roland muttered. “Our line of communication is cut off at the border—we can get in quickly but out only slowly.”

  “The queen of Igna will sign it,” Moira said slowly, stepping to me with each word. “You may be her Opal, but you are and always will be Sallot Leon, and Gaspar del Weylin must pay for his crimes against Nacea. Against us.”

  Elise’s quick inhale broke me. “That’s a war crime. Even if it’s right, you’ll be put on trial. She’ll execute you to appease the other nobles and keep peace, to make sure they don’t view it as Igna breaking the treaty and reason enough to attack.”

  Like Ruby.

  Rodolfo da Abreu, the dead war criminal—dead and disgraced before he even turned twenty.

  “I’ll do it.” I cracked my spine and yawned, stretching out the sore muscles of my arms. Hal’s rune had healed the worst wound in my arm, but I still ached. “I’ll kill him before he signs the treaty.”

  I would be her blade.

  Elise opened her mouth. I shook my head.

  “I became Opal to end Erlend, to avenge Nacea, but it’s more than that. All this killing is just killing if I don’t leave the world a better place. Weylin and his arrogance don’t belong in this world anymore. People need to see the old world die. They need to see the consequences followed through.”

  Ruby would’ve understood. Emerald and Amethyst too. Somethings had to be done.

  “There is a debt.” Moira met my gaze, the red light of the evening sun spilling across her feet, the reds and golds of a new day swallowing the snow-crowned mountains out the window behind her.

  I bowed my head. “And debts must be paid.”

  “Remember,” Moira whispered, “you are Nacean, Sallot Leon, and Nacea made no deal.”

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  I wasn’t just Nacean though. Sal, Twenty-Three, Opal—each part of me was of Igna. I couldn’t give it up. Me being Nacean wouldn’t stop folks from lashing out if Our Queen’s Opal slaughtered anyone with whom she’d come to an agreement.

  It would be a war crime.

  Wasn’t like the treaty was under false pretenses—not at the time he sent it, anyway. They thought Weylin could go to war if Igna refused and thousands would die for no reason.

  I had to kill him before Our Queen was forced to accept the deal. After that, we’d have time to figure out what to do to keep the next ones in charge from pulling the same thing.

  But if they got it signed, Opal would have to die. Because I would kill Weylin, war crime or not.

  “The places they were holding Naceans, they’re safe?” I asked while Moira checked my wounds and prepared me for traveling through snow. My mind was spread too thin, too many new people and places and words I couldn’t keep up with. My skin burned with it. Even clothes were unbearable. The dim
lights too bright. The dinner conversation deafening.

  It was all too much. I needed to go.

  I needed North Star.

  “I know a bit about what is happening through the shadows we sent. They are for now, but they’re weaker this far from me. They’re not like the original shadows, and the soldiers will realize that soon enough. It’s here that’s an issue. The nobles are trying to step up and fill the spaces and take over what North Star was doing. I can only scare them into submission with magic so many times before they realize I’m not as skilled as the feared mages they remember. We need Erlend to surrender fully.”

  No matter what end it came to.

  If folks learned that attempting to slaughter entire populations different from them was bad for all of us, they’d stop, but they’d not learn if nothing happened to Riparian and Winter. And if it was after a deal, they’d call for blood but my point would stand.

  North Star didn’t get to strong-arm his way into peace after leading a life of violence.

  His idea of peace was still violence—erasure of their crimes.

  I would not let him go unpunished.

  “It’s finally stopped snowing.” Elise touched my arm, fingers gripping the sleeve. It had started snowing after Winter and Riparian’s deaths, and it hadn’t stopped since. Even if I’d known how to ski, it would’ve been near impossible for me to survive traveling. I’d had to wait.“The passes won’t be cleared out until dawn. You still have some waiting to do.”

  I glanced at her, the hitch in her words clear.

  We have time to talk.

  It began with silence. Moira left, Hal came and went with a nod to me, and Maud had brought the food, smiled when I asked where it came from, then left the milk rolls when she took the plates. I tore one apart while Elise took a seat on the edge of the bed. She sighed.

  “I might’ve overreacted.” I offered her one of the rolls and paced a bit, getting used to walking again, working the uncomfortable sore of sleeping too long from my limbs. “Back in Hinter.”