Love Inc.

by Yvonne Collins

  I pick up the binoculars and watch Dad pacing around Glennis’s marble-topped island. For once he’s in a mood to talk. ‘It’s not fair,’ I say.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Syd says. ‘We lost the evidence to our highest profile case. That totally undermines our credibility anyway.’

  Syd throws herself down on the bench, gathering pillows in her arms. ‘Willem will never pay us now. So how am I going to pay for Dad’s video camera? It cost about a grand, and he doesn’t even know I’ve been borrowing it.’

  ‘I’ll pay for it,’ I say. ‘I’m the one who forgot to turn off my walkie, which tipped off the DJ.’

  ‘Making out with Brody wiped your memory clean,’ Kali says, grinning.

  ‘It was just acting,’ I say. ‘Addison and Viper were mostly just talking, so Brody decided to plant the idea. It worked, too.’

  ‘It didn’t look like acting to me,’ Syd says.

  OK, it wasn’t acting for me. But if it meant anything to Brody, where is he now? Surely he isn’t mad about Angel, who just happened to be in the right place at the right time to rescue me. Brody let me get carried off in the crowd and booted by strangers. I guess we didn’t pay him enough to take the hits for us.

  ‘I’m not into Brody.’ Maybe saying it out loud will make it true. I am not getting involved with a guy who doesn’t stand by me when the chips are down.

  ‘Sure you are,’ Kali says, picking up the binoculars to see what’s going on in the house. ‘You just don’t know what it feels like anymore. Oops.’ She quickly lowers the binoculars again and stuffs them into an overhead cupboard. ‘Looks like showtime. Remember, our only hope now is damage control, so we’ve got to pull together. If the jury senses we’re rattled, we’ll be grounded till college.’

  ‘That’s right,’ I say. ‘We need to show some remorse, while subtly reminding them that it’s their fault for screwing us up in the first place. Would we even be here if it weren’t for them?’

  ‘No, we would not,’ Syd says, sitting up. ‘So forget subtlety.’

  ‘Here they come,’ I say, sliding into the banquette beside Kali.

  Glennis is the first to enter the little trailer, followed by my parents, and then Syd’s. Charlotte insists on crowding in behind them but can’t get past the doorway. René and Dieter have the decency to stay behind in the house.

  My dad has obviously been elected jury foreman, because he’s the first to speak. ‘Zahra, I don’t know where to start. The sneaking around, the lying, the drinking … You’ve put yourself in so many dangerous situations.’

  I choose the one area I can refute. ‘Dad, I only had a few sips of beer and I hated it. I don’t know how you drink so much of the stuff.’

  Dad’s face turns an ugly mottled shade. Mom almost smirks, but recovers enough to say, ‘Zahra.’

  Glennis can’t wait for her turn. ‘Kali, I am so disappointed in you. I thought you’d matured a lot these past few months, and now I find your judgment is dubious at best.’

  ‘My daughter never had any,’ Syd’s dad says. I don’t know what I was expecting, but not this handsome, silver-haired man with a chiseled jaw and a mean streak.

  I wait for Syd to fight back, but she doesn’t. Fortunately, Violet steps in. ‘Brad, she hasn’t had much of a role model.’

  He scowls at her. ‘That’s for sure.’

  Violet turns the scowl on Charlotte. ‘And it’s going downhill from here.’

  ‘Stop,’ Syd finally whispers. ‘You’re embarrassing me.’

  ‘Embarrassing you?’ Brad says. ‘How do you think this makes me look in front of Charlotte? Why would she want to marry into this family?’

  ‘Marry?’ Violet gasps. ‘I don’t recall signing any divorce papers.’

  Charlotte reaches from the doorway to Brad. ‘Oh, honey, you know I can’t wait to marry you. I don’t care how crazy y’all are.’ She crushes Glennis and my mom into the walls and leans over to hug what she can grab of Syd, which isn’t much. ‘Don’t be too hard on your little girl. I was even wilder at her age.’

  ‘And look how that turned out,’ Violet says.

  If I didn’t feel so bad for Syd, I’d be laughing at my parents’ stunned expressions. I’m tempted to let it get worse, but then I see Syd’s hand reach under the table for Banksy, who’s still at the vet. I have to move things along.

  ‘We’ve been through a tough time lately,’ I remind them.

  Dad shakes his head to get himself back on track, but decides to skip the rest of his lecture. ‘You girls are lucky we’ve decided to be lenient. Your business is officially closed and you’re all grounded for a month.’

  ‘That’s lenient?’ I ask. ‘What are we supposed to tell all the people who need our help?’

  ‘That’s your problem,’ Dad says. ‘You’ve got half an hour to sort everything out here. René’s offered to drive you home.’

  Verdict delivered, my parents slip out the door. Glennis follows, and I hear her ordering bath products from Mom. At least someone’s profiting from this.

  Syd notices Charlotte’s hand, and says, ‘Is that an engagement ring?’

  Holding it out, Charlotte beams. ‘Isn’t is gorgeous? Two full carats.’

  Syd’s eyes are swimming when she looks up at her father. ‘You drain my college fund, you couldn’t spare a dime for Banksy, but you could afford two carats for Charlotte?’

  He brushes this off. ‘We’re engaged, Sydney. It’s a symbol.’

  She throws the only thing she can at him – a pillow. ‘My friends raised five thousand dollars for me. That’s a symbol.’

  Brad grabs Charlotte’s left hand and leads her out the door. ‘One day you’ll understand, Sydney. People come before pets.’

  Violet pats Syd’s shoulder. ‘Don’t worry about him, sweetie. It’s a midlife crisis and it will pass. I hope.’ Stepping to the door, she says, ‘Can you catch a ride with Zahra? I’m going to run home.’

  ‘Run? It’s the middle of the night, Mom.’

  ‘I know, but I’ve got to get in shape. If I can’t get your father back, I’ll make him regret losing me.’

  ‘You don’t want him back,’ Syd says.

  But Violet is already gone, jogging off into the night.

  Kali offers up her own brand of comfort. ‘I bet if I found someone great for your mom she’d turn back into Jennifer again.’

  Syd shakes her head. ‘I’m stuck with Violet until she gets her head on straight. No one else can do that for her.’

  ‘Besides, Love, Inc.’s out of business, remember?’ I say.

  ‘The way I see it is that it’s only a business if money changes hands,’ Kali says. ‘It doesn’t mean I can’t bring a few people together on the side.’

  I can’t help smiling. Kali loves her work so much she’ll do it for free. I plan to put my efforts into The Sweet Tooth instead. I’ll start by signing up for that pastry course and take it from there. ‘We’re still going to be friends, right?’

  ‘Friends?’ Syd says. ‘We’re framily.’ Kali comes at her with outstretched arms, and Syd raises her hands. ‘That doesn’t give you hugging rights.’

  I’m surprised to see Mom sitting on the couch when I get to Dad’s apartment. They’re drinking tea and talking, something I haven’t witnessed in months.

  Unfortunately, they’re talking about me. I try to sneak past, but Mom stops me with a ‘Zahra.’ This one means, ‘We aren’t done with you yet.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘We sent you for counseling so that you could learn coping skills from a licensed therapist. How did that translate into opening up your own therapy business?’

  ‘Entrepreneurship runs in the family,’ I say. ‘Besides, I’ve helped a lot of people with their problems. The whole business grew from satisfied customers recommending us to others.’

  ‘We’d make you return every penny if you hadn’t donated all of your profits to Sydney’s dog,’ Dad says.

  I flop into a chair. ‘See? Love, Inc. mad
e me a nicer person.’

  ‘Don’t push it,’ Dad says. ‘Four hours ago, we picked you up from an illegal all-night party in the middle of nowhere, with boys we don’t know. Some of those thugs scared me.’

  ‘You’ve gotta get out more, Dad. You used to love concerts.’

  ‘Zahra,’ Mom says, ‘this is no time for jokes.’

  For a couple that can’t live together, they sure remember how to sing the old duets.

  Mom continues. ‘What really hurts is that you’ve been lying to us about where you’ve been spending your time and what you’ve been doing.’

  ‘I didn’t lie,’ I say. At least not often. ‘I told you I was with Syd and Kali. Maybe I left out the details, but you didn’t care enough to ask.’ My voice wobbles, and I fight hard to steady it. ‘You think you’re the only ones going through a tough time.’

  My parents look at each other, and I can see I’ve struck a chord.

  ‘Zahra,’ Dad says, ‘maybe we have been caught up in our own concerns, but that doesn’t let you off the hook. You girls were getting paid to take revenge on people you’d never even met.’

  Mom nods. ‘Did you think about the example you’re setting for your sister?’

  For the first time, I feel slightly ashamed. I know how my sister copies me. ‘We only took the job if people deserved it.’

  ‘You’re not in a position to make that judgment,’ Dad says.

  ‘If it makes you feel any better,’ I say, ‘my role was mostly to help people to get along better.’

  ‘And what qualifies you to do that?’ Mom asks.

  ‘Lots of practice.’ I’m too tired now to be tactful. ‘I tried running interference between you guys for years before you split.’

  Dad looks surprised. ‘If that were true, you’d know that it takes more than a quick chat to get people back on track.’

  ‘Talking usually works. You’d know that if you’d gotten counseling yourselves, instead of sending me into therapy. I tell my clients to listen to each other instead of tuning out.’ Realising that I’m on the verge of shouting, I take a deep breath, and glare at Mom. ‘Plus, I tell them not to jump right into another relationship.’

  ‘I haven’t,’ Mom says. ‘Your uncle saw me kissing Xavier goodbye. I was thanking him for his work. But I wasn’t ready for the relationship he wanted.’

  Dad gives me a sheepish look over his teacup. ‘I’m sorry for taking out my frustrations on you, Zahra – and I should have apologized a lot sooner.’

  He picks up a folder from the table and presents it to Mom. ‘This is a joint effort.’

  I lean over her shoulder and see that my rough work for the Yasin Valley line that I ‘accidentally’ left open on the kitchen table has evolved into a gorgeous, professional design. Watery ripples of turquoise and aqua spread out from the center of the page as if a single drop of water had just hit the surface and the paper were liquid. The words yasin valley appear at the bottom of the page in a simple blue font. The effect is contemporary, clean, and calming.

  ‘Perfect,’ she whispers. ‘How did you know?’

  Dad smiles at her. ‘I know you.’ He reaches out to take her hand, and Mom doesn’t pull away.

  Within seconds they’re so engrossed in a discussion of cardboard weights and recycled paper that I can slip out unnoticed. It’s not exactly romantic, but it’s the first time in ages they’ve had a pleasant conversation.

  So maybe Mediator Girl isn’t a total waste of space after all.

  Our meeting room in the church basement has never looked better. Kali asked Dieter if we could turn our last session into a graduation party, since our grounding means we have to miss the event of the season. It’s Hollis’s annual Valentine’s Day bash on Saturday, and much to our surprise, we all found invitations in our lockers. Fletcher, apparently, did not. Another blow after being kicked off the Maroons – permanently.

  With Lauren’s help, Kali brought in fresh flowers, balloons, and an iPod docking station. Syd made the happy graduation banner that stretches across one wall. Beneath it is a long table covered in food everyone brought. The only reminder of our therapy sessions is the pile of folding chairs in the corner.

  Dieter opens his final sessions to friends and family to prove that we have a support system – or should. It’s a bold move with our group, but for the moment, everyone appears to be behaving themselves.

  Despite the fact that her dad brought Charlotte, Syd is smiling. That’s because Banksy’s leash is back in her hand, where it belongs. Other than a couple of shaved patches and the bulge on the side of his neck where the pulse generator for the pacemaker sits, Banksy’s his old self. ‘I almost didn’t recognise you, Z,’ Syd says. ‘That’s some outfit.’

  I spin to let my friends appreciate the splendor of my royal blue silk sari. The material wraps around my waist several times, is gathered at the front, and then swoops up and over my left shoulder. ‘It’s a gift from Nani,’ I say. ‘Check out the embroidery.’

  Kali and Syd lean in to examine the tiny gold thistles, a nod to my Scottish roots.

  Across the room, Nani gives me a little smile before returning to her conversation with Syd’s dad, who’s working his way through a large serving of her curry. Nana is doing his part by keeping Violet entertained.

  ‘I thought you and your grandparents were still at war,’ Syd says.

  ‘Mom mediated a settlement,’ I say. ‘She showed Nani my Social Studies paper. I got an A+ on it, and I guess it got Nani thinking about our situation, and how she doesn’t want to be as judgmental as her father was. So she had a talk with Nana and then they apologized, and I apologized, and here I am, wrapped up in a sari.’ I look over at my sister, who’s wearing a regular salwar kameez. ‘Saliyah’s so jealous.’

  ‘So all’s well that ends well,’ Kali says.

  ‘I haven’t told you the best part yet,’ I reply. ‘Nani and Nana are moving back to Pakistan! But they’re going to visit regularly, so it’s the best of both worlds. Nana and Dad had a man-to-man chat, and I guess they sorted things out. Plus, Dad says he’s fully open to whatever my mom wants to do about getting back to her roots.’

  It’s too early to say whether Dad and I will be moving back home, but it looks promising. My parents have spoken every day since Love, Inc. got busted, and not just about Saliyah and me. Dad’s been helping Mom get her products on the shelves in time for spring promotions. They even had dinner at Mama Fu’s to discuss marketing strategies. An early dinner – they don’t trust me on my own for long yet.

  ‘With any luck they’ll soon be embarrassing you as much as Glennis and René are embarrassing me right now,’ Kali says, tilting her head toward the buffet table, where René is feeding Glennis a spoonful of his classic chocolate mousse.

  ‘They do make a great couple,’ I say.

  ‘Speaking of great couples,’ Kali says, ‘I’m having Caleb over for dinner, which you’ll be catering, Z. You owe me for matching you up with Brody.’

  ‘It’s not a match if we aren’t together,’ I say. ‘But I’ll make your dinner anyway.’

  Violet joins us, wearing a long, formfitting skirt with platform shoes and a low-cut blouse. ‘Excuse me, girls, do you know that gentleman?’ The man she points to bears a resemblance to Simon.

  ‘I think he’s single,’ Kali says. ‘Do you want me to see what I can do?’

  Violet declines. ‘You’re out of business, sweetie. I’ll handle this one myself.’

  ‘I can’t watch,’ Syd says, turning away.

  I pull Kali and Syd into a corner. ‘I have something for you.’ I pull two envelopes out of my purse. ‘Keep a straight face.’

  They gape anyway as they peek inside. ‘How much is in here?’ Kali asks.

  ‘A lot,’ I tell her. ‘Syd’s is double because I put in my share. It’s my first deposit toward replacing your dad’s video camera.’

  ‘Did you rob a bank?’ Kali asks.

  ‘I gave Willem the footage of Addison and V
iper, and he paid in full. Bonus and all.’

  ‘But how?’ Kali asks. ‘The camera was totaled.’

  ‘After I pulled out the memory card,’ I say. ‘I ejected it while we were running to the car, but I didn’t want to say so in case it got wrecked when I fell. It broke Willem’s heart, but now he can save his grandmother’s ring for someone who deserves it.’

  Kali hugs me. ‘Z, you’re a genius!’

  ‘Impressive save,’ Syd agrees. ‘But why did he pay the bonus when we didn’t come through with showing the video?’

  ‘A lucky break,’ I say. Minutes after telling me to air the clip, Willem started to regret it. Although he was hurt and furious with Addison, he decided he didn’t want to go that route. Unfortunately, he couldn’t reach any of us by phone. When I told him what happened, he was relieved.

  ‘My only worry is that the DJ could use that footage,’ Syd says, ‘since it did get downloaded onto his laptop.’

  ‘It’s all good,’ I say. ‘Addison told Willem that she deleted it.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have to pay for Dad’s camera,’ Syd says. ‘Equipment destroyed on a Love, Inc. mission is a company responsibility.’

  ‘We’ll settle up later when there aren’t so many eyes on us,’ Kali says.

  I take another envelope out of my bag. ‘Here’s the money we owe Luke and Brody.’

  Kali puts her hands behind her back. ‘Deliver it yourself. Now’s as good a time as any. He hasn’t taken his eyes off you since he got here.’

  Brody catches us staring, but continues his conversation with Saliyah. As usual, she’s managed to corner the cutest guy in the room. In a couple of years she’s going to be a handful, if she doesn’t find a better role model than me.

  Three sharp claps draw our eyes to the front of the room. ‘As I tell my participants,’ Dieter begins, ‘group therapy is a journey of hard work and self-discovery. But leading that journey is a learning experience for me too. This group has been particularly enlightening. I discovered that a lot of support was taking place outside this room. Certain participants probably helped each other more than I could help them.’