The Good Guys Chronicles Box Set

by Eric Ugland

  Reward for success: Gold, renown, and land.

  Note: quest already accepted by party leader, cannot refuse.

  Penalty for failure (or refusal): Loss of title, loss of family, loss of everything except your worthless behind.

  Perfect. No pressure.

  Again, I wanted to talk to Cleeve, or even Nikolai, about the quest, and about this walk across the freaking lake, but it just didn’t seem like they’d warm to that at the moment.

  Our break over, we resumed our hike, going deeper into the canyon.

  Chapter 60

  The hours passed, and the sky darkened. Nikolai called a halt, and we transformed the rafts into platforms. Everyone was quiet. An exhaustion permeated the group. Cleeve, in particular didn’t look so great.

  It took a little bit of scrounging along the cliff edges, but we managed to find some wood and a wide flat rock to get a small fire burning on Teela’s raft.

  Cleeve waved me over, and so I waded through the water to go sit on his converted raft/platform. I thought he’d wanted to talk to me, but it seemed he was content to just sit with me.

  Small waves lapped at the platform. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine being back with Eona. It was much more pleasant to think of the beautiful goddess flirting with me than to focus on reality. The walls of the cliff were somewhere in the realm of one- to two hundred yards away, and I could no longer see the shores of Saumiers. Nor could I see anything on the other end of the lake. I feared we’d be completely out of sight of land soon, because the walls surrounding the lake were shooting off in opposite directions. For the moment, though, I figured we could probably make a break for the cliffs should something horrific slurp out of one of the holes.

  “I fear it is time we begin speaking about some of the things you need to know,” Cleeve said softly. I had to lean in to hear him.

  “I was going to ask you about the heraldic achievement,” I said. “Two things, one, what’s the animal?”

  “Our family charge is represented by the bandersnatch.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You are unfamiliar with the animal?”

  “Never heard of it.”

  “It is an uncommon creature of the Empire, and likely beyond. A renowned predator, it is legendary in its fighting, said to feel no pain, and to resist death until a fight has completed.”

  “A bandersnatch.”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay,” I said, “cool. Two, mine is incomplete.”

  Cleve nodded. “Just the family portion, right? A hollow shield with our name below?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When you are head of the family, the leader, you will receive a crest at the top—”

  “But the centerpiece? The, like, text or whatever said I needed to do something worthy of the family to get it.”

  Cleeve nodded.

  “What’d you do?”

  “I was fighting with the Legion, and we were attacked by a rock troll. I managed to score the killing blow after it had laid out nearly all those under my command. That is when the Indicium flared. But as far as I know, defeating enemies is not the only means to completing the achievement. There are plenty of stories about what our family has done in the past. But bear in mind: there are only two members of this family remaining, so ’tis hard to know much beyond what has been written in journals or whispered down through the generations.

  “There are a few different levels of the heraldic achievement. The base is what you have. It signifies you are a member of the family and offers few benefits beyond being a member of the family. Once you have earned the centerpiece, you will unlock more benefits, which have been gifted upon our dynasty by our ancestors. The next step is to unlock the wings. I unlocked the wings when I earned the dukedom, so I suppose it is done by adding something significant to the family. Supposedly there are other levels as well. If you ever have the honor to see the Emperor’s Heraldic Achievement, you will understand that compared to him, I have only unlocked the bare minimum.”

  “And we’re the only two left?”

  “Yes. If you die childless, my family dies with you.”

  “But who were, uh we?” How did we get down to just two of us?”

  Cleeve smiled, rueful. Then he laid down on his raft, looking up at the darkening sky. “To know that is to know the stories and legends of the Coggeshall family. There might be but a grain of truth amongst all this, you know…”

  “A grain is better than nothing. I’d like to have some modicum of knowledge of, you know, who my family is and whatnot. You know, now that I’ve got a family again.”

  “You make an excellent point, Montana,” he said, smiling. “Our family has long been in the Empire, yet only minor landed nobility at our height. We were knights in the early days, and we were given a small tract of land within a barony, something which was taken away through treachery four hundred years ago. Our family and the Legion has been tied together since time immemorial. We like to say that the day the first Empress stepped onto the battlefield, her standard was held aloft by a Coggeshall. There have been six Legion commanders who were Coggeshalls. I was determined to follow their footsteps, and I was in line to be the 54th. Until, well, until what happened happened. I was removed at that point. It was no longer safe for me to remain in the Legion.”

  “Because you might die. And then the Emperor dies.”

  “Exactly.”

  “But then why aren’t you, I don’t know, in some chill pleasure palace near the capital?”

  “Because, for a man like me, that is more dangerous than being here.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “The court has become a vile place, full of scheming, corruption, and murder. If anyone knew the Emperor could be killed by killing me, they would spare nothing to arrange my death. Here, I am unknown. A lowly caravaner, trying to make a quick run across the Northlands before winter. I am not a target here. And as long as Nikolai is around, I doubt much will prove deadly.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Look at him,” Cleeve said.

  I looked at Nikolai, who was busy fighting with his bedroll and raft, trying to find a way to keep himself from rolling in the water during the night. It wasn’t the most impressive display of a man’s prowess.

  “No,” Cleeve said. “Use the spell I know you have.”

  With a little mana-fueled will, I cast life-form identification.

  Nikolai

  Human

  Lvl 51

  I blinked a few times.

  “How much can you see?” Cleeve asked.

  “Name, level, race.”

  “Not Choice?”

  “No. Would that tell me more?”

  “Likely. But that ultimately depends on if you know what it means.”

  “What is it?”

  “Elite Thingman.”

  “Thingman?”

  “The Thingmen are soldiers sworn to the Emperor—”

  “I thought the Legion—”

  “Please do not interrupt, Montana.”

  “Apologies,” I said, and I couldn’t help but add, “Father.”

  He smiled. “The Legion swears to the Empire. The Thingmen swear only to the Emperor. They are usually the best soldiers of the Legion. They receive better training, better equipment, and exist only to protect the Emperor, his family, and his desires.”

  “So they’re bodyguards?”

  “They are a small army. They accompany the Emperor when he accompanies the Legions into battle. And they fight on the front line. They are occasionally sent into battles between lords, when the Emperor decides to take sides. The Legion is only to be used against enemies of the empire, which can include things within the Empire, but is never to be used against Imperial citizens. The Thingmen have no such rule. In fact, they have very few rules. Thingmen are regarded as heroes or monsters across the Empire, depending, I suppose, on your interactions with them. Legion are almost universally seen as heroes of the Empire. The E
mperor also has bodyguards, but those are trained differently — they are not soldiers. And naturally, there is always an Imperial hirð, usually quite substantial in size.”

  “And Nikolai was a Thingman?”

  “Yes. He was a Legionary first, then a Thingman. The Emperor assigned him to me to protect me when I was forced to retire from the Legion.”

  “And you have no hirð, right?”

  “Not many do,” Cleeve said with a grin. “You are special in that regard.”

  “Cleeve,” Teela called out. “Dinner.”

  Cleeve patted my leg, then reached out for my arm. I helped him to his feet, and we went and ate a dinner of stewed something or other.

  The Lutra bickered back and forth quietly, but when I asked what was going on, they just smiled at me, and ate their stew. I had a feeling they weren’t happy with the food they got. They did offer to take watch, seeing as they’d spent most of the day snoozing while I pulled them along.

  Nikolai had them take two of the three watches, and Teela was given the third. The sky turned black, the stars came out, and the lake reflected the gorgeous sky above. It was a moment of supreme beauty. I fell asleep feeling pretty damn good about my new life.

  Chapter 61

  Sleeping in the middle of a lake is odd. Not bad, per se, but odd. While there weren’t tons of waves, certainly not large ones, there was just enough movement to make sleep a real challenge. I’d be drifting off, and then a small set of waves would crash-lap against the supports. Somewhere in the middle of the night, I sat up, no longer tired enough to fight for sleep, and no longer willing to just stare up at the sky.

  Skeld stood on the edge of my platform, leaning a bit on his spear.

  “Morning,” he said, not taking his eyes off the water.

  “Is it?” I asked.

  He pointed up. “Largo is past mid-sky. So technically morning.”

  I looked up to see that least one of the moons was past the midpoint of the sky.

  Another set of waves lapped against the platforms.

  “There,” Skeld whispered, pointing into the darkness.

  A little mental push, and I got my dark-vision going. The colors of the world disappeared into a sharp, high-contrast black and white. Water rippled from one of the deep holes nearby.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “No idea. But we are watched.”

  “I don’t want to presume too much—”

  “You cannot offend me,” Skeld said. “I am part of you. That is a burden the hirðman accepts.”

  “Yeah, still, how, I mean, you guys are water creatures, right?”

  “As you are people of the plains.”

  “Have you explored this lake?”

  “No. Never. My clan was of the rivers to the north and east of Saumiers. One winter, we went hungry. The famine continued, and we were forced to retreat towards the city and more formally join the Empire. This was when the clan was taken. Some managed to escape, but our clan was severely depleted by the slavery of the Agachnern. We did not have the chance to explore this lake before. So I apologize — I cannot say what is here.”

  “Curious about it?”

  “A little. But I cannot imagine this is the time for exploration.”

  Bit of truth in that.

  I was going to argue that there was always time for exploration, but that’s the moment something breeched the surface in the nearest deep hole. It was gentle, just a massive shape coming out of the water. A gargantuan eye opened up, and stared over at us. Something huge and curious.

  “Uh, any thoughts on that?” I asked Skeld.

  Skeld shook his head. I noticed his fingers were gripping much tighter around his spear.

  I couldn’t help myself though. I pulled the giant boots on and stepped into the water. I moved as quietly as possible, more focused on not waking my comrades up as opposed to not scaring away the giant creature.

  It seemed content to watch me approach. The giant eye focused on me.

  I stopped a fair distance away. and just looked at the thing. I tossed a little identification magic towards the creature.

  Unknown

  Level [Unknown][Unknown]

  Well, I thought, thanks a pant-load, Chet.

  I decided it’d be a good idea to use the spell some more, see if I might be able to add a little oomph to it.

  The eye dropped, and the water splashed about a bit.

  I almost took a step closer, but watching the water, I noticed bubbles and movement. Then a tentacle shot straight up out of the water, arching up and aiming straight for me.

  With no eye to see me, I easily dodged the blow.

  The massive tentacle hit the water and then the stone ground hard enough that the world seemed to shake. Waves rippled out across the water.

  I hopped up to my feet, soaking wet, and looked at the slimy bit of mucus-covered muscle. It pulsated, and I could tell it was just about to start reaching out to find me. Sure enough, it swung low along the surface, sweeping along just above the water. I leapt over the tentacle, and as soon as I hit the ground I sprinted away.

  “LEFT!” Skeld shouted.

  I dove to the left, watching as the tentacle went underneath me.

  I got to my feet as fast as possible, rushing to get out of the creature’s range.

  I chanced a look over my shoulder, and saw the tentacle high in the sky.

  It came crashing down, and I swear the tip sliced right down my back. I ran until I hurdled the raft, sliding to a stop on the other side.

  The tentacle felt around for a little while longer before giving up, sliding back down into the depths below. A moment later, the eye popped back up and looked around.

  I flipped it off.

  It seemed not to care, but it definitely realized we were out of reach. Finally, it too disappeared below.

  I stepped on my platform, pulled off my boots, and my chainmail hauberk fell off.

  There was a rip all the way down the back. The tentacle had been just as close as I’d imagined.

  “What in the absolute darkened fuck did you do, bumpkin?” Nikolai barked out.

  Everyone was awake.

  “Just trying to, uh, win some hearts and minds.”

  There was a barely suppressed chuckle that I was pretty sure came from Lee.

  “Perhaps, since you appreciate watching fish so much, you should take the rest of the watch?”

  “Fair enough,” I said.

  Everyone grumbled at me, which was also fair. Slowly, they went back to sleep.

  I sat there, a bit grumpy. And very wet. And rather unarmored. I felt foolish. Skeld sat down next to me.

  “Still curious about the lake?” he asked.

  Chapter 62

  The following day was a slog. We were up and moving by daybreak, but the weather quickly turned against us. Rain fell in great sheets and the wind whistled through the canyon, whipping the shallow water into white-watered caps. We had to lean against the wind to make any forward progress.

  Midway through the morning, and without talking to me, Nikolai tied Cleeve’s raft onto mine so I was pulling both. Then he lashed Cleeve’s pack onto my raft. Nikolai and I were the only ones who weren’t breathing hard as we walked into the wind. It wasn’t long before I was pulling all the rafts, as well as all the gear. Ragnar and Skeld kept themselves busy making sure I didn’t get tangled up in all the various lines streaming out behind me.

  When we stopped for lunch, Cleeve looked like shit. Ashen-faced and sallow. He laid down on the raft without bothering to convert it to its platform state. Nikolai seemed worried.

  I watched the raft bob up and down with Cleeve on it. A little water occasionally splashed up on it, but the thing floated well enough.

  As we sat and ate, I noticed Cleeve drifted off to sleep. Nikolai was about to bark his orders out, yelling at us to get back to the slog, but I held up a hand. Naturally, he glared at me as if I had just violated his mother. But, I pointed to Cleeve and made th
e universal sign for sleep, then tried to suggest through sign language that we let Cleeve sleep while I pull him through the water.

  “Are you suffering a fucking fit?” Nikolai hissed at me. “Just say what it is you are trying to say.”

  “Let him sleep,” I said. “I can pull him.”

  Nikolai looked at me, then over at Cleeve. He nodded once, curt.

  “Have your men walk alongside,” Nikolai said, “to keep it stable.”

  A small hand wave to Lee and Teela, and we got going, heads down into the wind once more.

  As the lake opened up, things got even worse. The wind picked up, and the rain seemed to be going sideways. It stung when it hit my face.

  Cleeve didn’t wake for hours, sleeping fitfully on the raft until late afternoon. He groggily called for a stop, confused at what was happening. Nikolai went over to the man. They had a hushed conversation, and after a moment, Nikolai told me to keep going. The storm didn’t slack at all through the daylight hours. Somewhere in there, Cleeve fell back asleep.

  We stopped at dusk, and did some eating of terrible travel food that made me long for airplane food.

  Nikolai walked around to everyone and chatted with them, doing his best attempt at a little morale boost. But when he got to me, I didn’t get that.

  “How is your energy level?” he asked.

  “Fine,” I said, which was mostly true. The day had been long, cold, wet, and windy, but it really didn’t seem to have too much of an effect on me.

  “How long do you think you can pull this all? The gear and Cleeve?”

  “How about you tell me what’s going on with Cleeve?”

  Nikolai looked over at the older elf, and shook his head. “He is sick.”

  “With what?”

  “Perhaps flux, perhaps Agno’s Fire—”

  “Could a spell help? I could—”

  “No,” Nikolai hissed, his hand grabbing my arm. “No magic in the open. You hide that.”