by J. S. Scott
She watched as Micah started to laugh. Although she couldn’t hear him, she could certainly visualize his amusement.
“Stop! It’s not funny!” She’d just shared one of her deepest fears, and he was laughing?
He grasped her shoulders again, still grinning. “Tessa, you’re willing to go out in front of millions of people and skate, but you’re afraid of a few women? And very nice women at that.”
“You don’t understand,” she said glumly.
“I do. I know those fears are very real to you. But you have no reason to feel awkward. You focus on what you want to understand, and ignore the rest. You won’t feel awkward or lost. These women want to be your friends. More than likely, they want to know what your relationship is with me. Don’t listen to a thing they say about me.”
His words made her smile just a little. “It’s awfully arrogant to think that all they want to do is talk about the men in their lives. Sarah is a physician with a remarkable IQ. Kristin is a medical professional. Mara is a successful businesswoman. And Emily is a business manager. Don’t you think they have a lot more to talk about than men?”
“Nope.”
Tessa rolled her eyes at him. “I’m sure they do,” she replied adamantly. “Now do you want my help packing or not?”
“No reason to pack,” Micah answered. “I have everything I need at home and on my jet. But I could use your help in the bedroom.”
Tessa saw the heated look in his eyes, knowing exactly what he wanted.
“Why?” She shot him an innocent look.
“Come with me and I’ll show you.” He held out his hand.
His expression was both mischievous and passionate, his eyes beckoning.
Tessa couldn’t have refused even if she wanted to, which she didn’t. Even if it was only for a few days, she wouldn’t be seeing him or feeling him for a while.
She reached out and let him take her hand.
CHAPTER 16
“So we all have to know. Are you banging Micah or what?”
Tessa thought it was strange that although her world was silent, she could almost imagine the voices of all of the women around the table trying to talk at once. The question had come from Mara, and her friend had tapped her arm before she spoke so Tessa could look at her. It had been that way with all of the women tonight, each of them tapping her forearm if they had a question for her or something they wanted to tell her. Way different from what she’d feared, Tessa found she was actually enjoying the boisterous table of females and their nonstop chatter. It wasn’t awkward at all because the women were savvy enough to signal her discreetly so she wasn’t excluded from the conversation.
Tessa didn’t catch everything, but she was part of the conversation.
Every set of female eyes at the table was looking at her expectantly, curiously. Although she knew they were interested and teasing, Mara’s question put her in a difficult situation.
She opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it, not knowing what to say.
Happily, she was saved when Homer got up from his place beside her on the floor and put his muzzle on her purse and laid a paw on her thigh. It was obviously a sign that her phone was buzzing.
“Excuse me a moment,” she told Mara with a nervous smile as she patted Homer and then reached into her purse to pull out her phone.
She’d been waiting for Micah to text and tell her he’d arrived at his penthouse in New York. As expected, the message was from him.
Micah: I’m home. Are you talking about us guys yet?
She smiled, hating to admit he was right. The group of women did talk a lot about the men in their lives, but it wasn’t their only topic of conversation. It was obvious that they were all madly in love with their guys, so the conversation about them came up naturally.
She answered.
Tessa: Do all men think all we talk about is them?
Micah: Pretty much.
Tessa snorted quietly, wanting to burst his bubble, but she needed to ask him a question.
Tessa: They’re curious about my relationship with you. Mara just asked if I was banging you.
Micah: Hang on a minute.
She waited, wondering what he was doing. Maybe he hadn’t actually reached his penthouse yet and was busy with other things.
Tessa startled when Mara reached out and tapped her arm. She looked up and saw that Mara was laughing, her face flushed with merriment as she turned her phone toward her.
“Read it,” Mara requested.
Leaning over the table, Tessa could see that Micah had taken the moment he’d asked for to text Mara.
Micah: Tessa isn’t banging me. I’m banging her . . . every chance I get. Now leave the poor woman alone and let her eat. She’s going to need her energy when I get back to Amesport.
Tessa was still gaping at the message on Mara’s phone when hers buzzed again.
Micah: Took care of it.
She typed a message back quickly.
Tessa: I can’t believe you just did that.
Micah: Why? It’s true.
Tessa: But now all of your family will know.
Micah: They know anyway. I just made it official. If you don’t want to say any more, then don’t.
Tessa: I wasn’t sure what to say.
Micah: Say anything you want. We Sinclairs tend to be blunt.
Tessa: You don’t care that they know?
Micah: Nope. I plan to be banging you for a very long time. Maybe I’ll even let you bang me.
Tessa: I doubt it. You’re too bossy.
Micah: When I get back, I’ll try to let you be the boss. Okay, not much, but I’ll try it once.
Tessa snickered, thinking about Micah’s dominant tendencies and the probability of him letting her take control.
Tessa: Promise?
She wasn’t surprised when there was a long hesitation before he answered.
Micah: I promise to try. Right now I’d do just about anything to have you naked. I miss you already.
Tessa’s heart skittered and she fumbled as she typed back.
Tessa: I miss you, too. I think Homer does, too.
Before they’d left the guesthouse, the canine had come trotting into the living room with one of Micah’s running shoes and dropped it at her feet, giving her a questioning look. He seemed to be asking for Micah, and the action had made her both laugh and sympathize with the dog.
Micah: Have fun and text me when you get home safe.
His fear for her safety warmed her heart.
Tessa: I hope you have a good trip.
Micah: I’ll know tomorrow when I can get back.
Tessa: OK
She stuffed the phone back into her purse with a happy smile. When she looked up, she realized all of the women were watching her.
Mara turned the phone her direction again. “Spill the details,” Jared’s wife insisted.
Emily was sitting next to her and tapped. “We want to know. Is it serious? I didn’t think Micah would ever settle down.”
Then Sarah tapped. “How did you two even meet?”
Kristin tapped. “Why did he buy all that property outside of town? Is he staying?”
Tessa answered all their questions one by one, telling the women that her relationship with Micah wasn’t serious, and she shared the story of how she’d originally walked into the bathroom by accident and saw him naked. She laughed and said it was lust at first sight. Then she told Kristin she wasn’t entirely sure about the property, which was true. She explained that Micah didn’t intend to build the property up, and that he was just building a few vacation homes for himself and his brothers.
She’d known all of the women since they were kids except Sarah—most of them were around the same age—so it was no secret to everyone except Dante’s wife that Tessa had once been a figure skater, and Tessa watched as Kristin quickly and briefly explained the situation to Sarah as she told the rest of the women about why she and Micah had spent so much time together. Everyone wa
s incredibly supportive when she told them that Micah was helping her prepare for an Olympic skating reunion.
“That’s fantastic! Why didn’t you tell me?” Mara asked, her fist pumping the air in excitement. “I want to go.”
Emily nodded enthusiastically. “Me, too.”
“And me,” Kristin joined in.
“We can catch a ride with Mara and Jared,” Sarah added after she tapped Tessa on the arm to let her know she wanted to join the group.
Tessa’s heart clenched with emotion. “You’d all fly to New York just to see me skate? I’m not as good as I was ten years ago,” she warned them.
“Of course we want to go. And you’re still going to be amazing. You don’t forget those kinds of skills,” Mara explained.
“That’s what Micah said. He’s the one who talked me into skating again. He was right. I did want to skate, but I was afraid to try.” She paused before adding, “Thank you. I’m touched that you all want to go. Really.” Her voice cracked, and Tessa felt overwhelmed by the support she got from every woman sitting at the table.
She was casual friends with Emily, Mara, and Kristin. She’d met Sarah, but she didn’t really know her. She’d never really reached out to any of them, afraid to try to befriend them because she felt so much different from these women. In reality, she wasn’t different at all, and her imagined problem with communication had been just that: fear that they wouldn’t accept her and that she wouldn’t be able to really fit into their world.
“Why wouldn’t we want to go?” Mara said, looking at Tessa questioningly. “You’re our hometown Olympic champion and our friend. This is a pretty big deal for you.”
Tessa looked around the table at the four women.
It was never them. It was me.
Tessa had been afraid to reach out to any of them because she’d been terrified that they’d brand her as different, avoid her because she had changed. She lived in a world without sound; they didn’t. The truth was that it didn’t seem to matter to them that she was deaf. The only person who had considered it was her. These women had always been willing to be her friends. Tessa had been the one to distance herself.
She’d stayed close to Randi because her friend had just barged back into her life without an invitation. The rest of them had allowed her to keep a comfortable distance after Tessa had lost her hearing, because it was probably what they thought she wanted. She’d always been invited to go places with them, encouraged to join them for lunches. It was she who had rejected them.
Even now, every one of them was willing to still support her, still considered her a friend. “Thank you,” she said to Mara, then looked around the table. “Thank you all for wanting to be there.”
Sarah tapped her arm. “We are going to be there. I’m sorry I never recognized you. I was never allowed to watch much television as a child, and certainly not any kind of sports. Then I was busy with medical school and my residency. If I’d been a normal person I probably would have known.”
Tessa answered, “Most people don’t recognize me. I used my full name of Theresa when I was skating, so people don’t really even connect the name.” She sensed that there was a story behind Sarah’s claim that she wasn’t normal, but all she knew about Dante’s wife was that she was a good doctor, and had a way-higher-than-normal IQ. Maybe Sarah had been treated differently, maybe she’d felt out of place, too.
Sarah caught her attention as she questioned, “Have you ever tried cochlear implants? Kristin said you got meningitis and didn’t get treatment quickly enough to stop the hearing loss. It’s not my area of specialty, but I’d think you’d at least be a possible candidate.”
Tessa nodded, the failed implant not as uncomfortable to talk about as it used to be. “I had one, but I got an infection and it had to be removed.”
“That happens sometimes, but it’s very rare. You could try again,” Sarah told her, squeezing her forearm in support.
Tessa saw the kindness in Sarah’s remarkable violet eyes as the two women locked gazes across the table. “Scary thought,” Tessa answered simply.
“I understand. Especially after everything that’s happened to you. But the odds of it occurring again are pretty low. It might be worth the risk if that’s what you really want.”
“I do want it,” she shared with Sarah frankly. “It’s only fear that’s held me back.” She wasn’t going to try to use the excuse of expense, because the money it would cost wasn’t the real reason she wasn’t trying to get the implant again. Pure and simple—she had been terrified of another loss or failure.
“Understandable,” Sarah replied. “I think I’d be afraid to ever try again, too.”
All the women nodded emphatically around the table, agreeing with Sarah’s statement wholeheartedly. The solidarity and support of her emotions made Tessa want to cry.
How long had she needed validation?
How long had she needed to hear that she wasn’t wrong?
How long had she needed to pull her friends closer instead of keeping them at a distance?
How long had she felt alone and isolated?
Too. Damn. Long.
Tessa took a deep breath and asked, “I want to look into it, Sarah. Can you help me? I’m not sure what the medical protocol is if I’ve already had one implant that had to be removed.”
Sarah smiled at her. “Of course. It isn’t your fault it failed, so I wouldn’t think it would be an issue for your insurance company, but I’ll check everything out. I have a colleague in New York who is considered one of the best in the country with this procedure. I can contact her. Maybe you can see her while you’re in New York City?”
Tessa nodded jerkily. “Yes, please. I’d like that. I had it done in Boston last time. I think maybe having it done somewhere else would help. I don’t exactly have great memories of Boston. I’d rather not go there.” Not only had she lost her hearing in Boston, but she had too many bad memories of Rick to be happy about going back there. This would be a new beginning for her. She wanted to start it in a new place.
“I’d be happy to set it up,” Sarah told her with a smile.
Mara tapped Tessa’s arm. “Now that we have the medical stuff taken care of, let’s hear more about you and Micah. Are my cousins going to start moving to Amesport permanently? I’d love that.”
Tessa laughed. “Don’t get your hopes up. You know how Micah rolls. He always needs the next adrenaline rush. But I think he’s pretty happy in New York. He loves his company, and his passion is making extreme sports safer.”
Emily tapped her arm. “Does that scare you? The crazy stuff he does?”
Tessa thought for a minute before replying. “I care about him now, and I won’t say that I wouldn’t worry about him if he was doing something dangerous. But his passions are part of who Micah is, and he’s a good man. I wouldn’t want to change him. Besides, I went skydiving with him, and I loved it.”
She looked at the shocked expressions around the table and added, “What? You think a deaf woman can’t skydive?” Tessa was determined that she’d get her certification to go solo someday, even though Micah didn’t seem too keen to have her jump out of a plane unless she was attached to him.
All of the other women were shaking their heads, as though most of them wouldn’t even think about jumping out of a perfectly good plane.
Funny, she’d thought the same thing until she’d met Micah. Maybe she’d had a dream that someday she’d be brave enough to try, but everybody had dreams that would never be fulfilled. When it came right down to it, Tessa wasn’t sure if she would have really jumped with anybody except Micah. But after that experience, she could totally understand why he loved the adrenaline rush.
Their food arrived and all of them dug into their plates enthusiastically. Tessa slipped Homer a few pieces of chicken from her lo mein noodle dish, even though she knew she shouldn’t. He rewarded her with a worshipful doggie expression that made her chuckle.
The women managed to keep chatter
ing while they ate, and the evening was over so soon that Tessa couldn’t believe that it was already ten o’clock when they left the restaurant. They all hugged like they didn’t reside in the same small town, and Tessa relished every minute of it. Physical contact was her bond with other people, and it felt good to feel this close to these women.
After everyone made sure that Tessa had their numbers in her phone, she beckoned Homer to jump into her little economy car. He took up the entire passenger’s seat, and he was watchful as she walked around the vehicle and got into the driver’s side.
“I’ll bet all that girl talk wasn’t much fun for you, was it, boy?” she said to Homer as she stroked his silky head. “Let’s go home. I’ll find you a real treat.”
The canine leaned over and licked her cheek before settling into his seat.
Tessa laughed as she started the car, thinking how pivotal the night had been for her. Not only had she bonded with four women she admired, but her dog seemed content just to be with her, too.
Her life had begun to change so much, so many of her fears so much easier to face because she realized that much of her anxiety was self-inflicted. They were her insecurities, her self-doubt.
“I’m done with all that,” she shared with Homer as she pulled out of her parking spot and headed back to Randi’s old home.
Years ago, she’d sworn that she was going to find herself again. Now she felt like maybe, just possibly, she was going to figure out exactly who she was for the very first time.
She drove home content with her epiphany, because she was pretty sure she was going to like the person she dug out from underneath her frightened, deaf exterior. Hopefully, she’d like that woman very much.