Love and Decay, Volume Seven (Episodes 5-8, Season Three)

by Higginson, Rachel

  Gunshots boomed from in the house in fast successions. A woman screamed at the top of her lungs while men shouted at each other in Spanish. My eyes widened as I finally glanced around and took in Raphael’s burning homestead.

  Diego leaned in and lowered his voice to a fierce command, “This attack is not for us. If we leave now, we might be able to survive.”

  “I don’t want to survive if that means going with you.” My voice was equal steel, equal stone. I would face whatever this was in order to avoid Diego’s plans for me.

  “Reagan, get down!” The familiar voice cut through every sound and I obeyed without questioning.

  Another explosion ripped through the air, blasting me in the face with heat and pain. I curled into a ball as bodies collapsed on top of me. Something sharp clattered over the top of my hand just as Diego’s heavy body rolled over my back.

  I didn’t think. I didn’t comprehend my moves. I simply let battle instinct take over and follow my will to survive.

  Even while the blast receded into burning flames that thrashed at the ground around me, I opened my eyes and found Diego’s knife lying on the ground next to me.

  Before anyone else could grab it, I closed my fingers around the handle and spun around to find him coughing up smoke and dirt. He had been laid out on his back with Adela unmoving at his side.

  An animalistic growl burst from my mouth and in another second I straddled his chest. Before he could regain the upper hand, I pressed my knees into his biceps and the knife to his jugular.

  I needed him to understand my message clearly.

  “Reagan,” he laughed, despite the blade at his throat. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  “I told you that I killed Matthias’s wife. I told you that I killed his son. I am not afraid of killing, Diego. You should be clear on this by now.”

  His black eyes narrowed. “And you think to kill me?”

  I nodded slowly, finally. “If you do not let me go and stop following me, I will not think it, I will do it.” I put pressure on the knife, causing a drop of blood to leak from the wound.

  He hissed his disapproval. “What if I told you I wanted to help you? We might have mutual interests.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I want Matthias dead. You want Matthias dead. We want the same thing.”

  I narrowed my eyes and tried not to grind my teeth. “You want to control the Colony. I want to leave all of this behind me. I want to get away from Matthias, from Raphael, from cannibals, from Feeders, from thirst and hunger and pain. And I want to get away from you. We do not want the same things. We want completely different things!”

  His dark eyes flashed with frustration. “Let me give you those things. Help me take down Matthias and you can have whatever you want. You can have your freedom.”

  I took a steadying breath and had to fight the desire to agree to his offer immediately. I had a soul. I had a moral compass. And if those things ever became blurred, I at least had enough life experience to know better. And yet…

  It seemed so simple. And Diego seemed so very confident.

  If all I had to do was help him take out Matthias, then so what? Wasn’t that what I wanted too? Wouldn’t that ensure my safety and the safety of those that I loved?

  Yes.

  But making a deal with the devil was just a pretty way to sell my soul. At the end of the day my ally would still be a terrible person.

  And what if he lied? What if he didn’t let me walk away?

  Then what?

  But I also couldn’t let him know that I had dismissed his offer as quickly as I was capable of letting it go.

  “And what about her?” I jerked my chin at Adela. She looked unconscious from where I sat. She must have hit her head when Diego fell.

  Any hint of kindness or understanding that had been present with Diego disappeared in a flash of fury. “No,” he growled. “Never. Adela is mine. She is mine.”

  “You can’t own people, Diego. That’s something we’re going to have to learn right now.”

  “You can own anything with the right amount of dinero.” His words were spat with violent conviction.

  “She doesn’t want you to own her.”

  “She doesn’t know what she wants,” he countered. His eyes drifted to his side where she lay unmoving. His mouth turned down into an angry frown. “You do not either.”

  “You don’t know anything about me. For instance, I know very clearly that I want you dead. I know without a doubt that I don’t want to go back to your village. I know Raphael will have to kill me before he gets me back in one of his cages. And I know that I would rather die than face Matthias again. See? I’m not so confused after all.”

  “Then acknowledge that you need help. Join with me. Let us take down Matthias together.”

  “So you can step into his place and assume all of that power? No way.” I shook my head and put more weight behind the knife. “Not a chance in hell.”

  He bucked suddenly and I slipped to the side. We wrestled each other for control of the knife. I moved slowly and without skill. Our fight was born from the need to control and survive. He used his strength, but I used my desperation.

  I thought for a minute I would be able to dominate him again, but his strength and nourished body was no match for mine. With a grunt I fell back on the hard dirt and coughed through the breath rocketing out of my chest.

  He scrambled to his knees and held the knife at my stomach, “Now you will listen to me.”

  A poignant click echoed through the crazy night, screaming over the sound of the crackling fire all around us. “Actually, if she doesn’t want to, I’m not going to make her.”

  Diego twitched at the feel of a gun barrel pressed against the back of his skull. “Your friend?” Diego asked dryly.

  I grinned at him from the ground, “Nelson!”

  “Good to see you, Reagan. Now get up so we can get the hell out of this place!”

  “Good idea.”

  “Get away from her,” Nelson growled at Diego. When Diego didn’t immediately move, Nelson shoved the barrel of his large gun into the back of Diego’s head. “Now,” Nelson growled.

  Diego shook his head in a disappointed way and gave me a cocky grin. “This is a mistake, Reagan. You’ll die without my help.”

  I scrambled to my feet and jumped away from Diego and his manipulative offers. “I’d rather face the cannibals again than take your help. So I guess we’re on the same page.”

  “How will you survive this land?” he questioned. “How will you flee from Raphael? How will you stay hidden from Matthias? You need me. Admit it.”

  “She doesn’t need you, Diego. Although thank you for your offer.” Another man stepped from the house. He was an older gentleman and clearly American.

  I glanced nervously at Nelson, but he nodded confidently. “He’s with us, Reagan. It’s okay.”

  “Ah,” Diego sneered. “The man of Christ. Meddling as usual.”

  I had no idea what that meant, but the new guy smiled benevolently at Diego and raised a beer bottle with a rag stuffed in the top. “I’m not in the business of meddling. I’m in the business of saving souls, my son.”

  Nelson lunged forward and grabbed my wrist, yanking me next to him. The man pulled out a lighter and lit the rag on fire.

  He stared at Diego with a cold, calculated smile and finished by saying, “Just not yours.” The old guy tossed something at Nelson. It sailed through the residual smoke from all of the explosions, landing in Nelson’s outstretched palm. Nelson’s long fingers closed around it before I could figure out what it was. I was about to ask, when the new guy suddenly shouted, “Heads up!” and chucked the bottle at Diego’s armored vehicle.

  Nelson took off running before the bottle ever hit the ground. He jerked me along with him and in another second I knew why. The bottle shattered against the car and erupted in an explosion. The force of it pushed with screaming heat against my back and forced
me to stumble.

  Nelson’s grip never loosened and he miraculously kept me on my feet. We ran as fast as we could. I didn’t know what I thought he would look like if I ever saw him again, but I had imagined he would be in worse shape than he was. His feet carried him swiftly over the hard-packed ground and he appeared fully energized.

  He also knew exactly where he wanted to go. I was still trying to wrap my head around how he had gotten here.

  And where was Haley?

  I stumbled to a stop when Nelson did. He grinned down at me and dangled a set of keys in front of my face.

  “Stop showing off,” Vaughan snapped. He stood at the bars and my head whipped back and forth between the keys and the cage.

  Nelson let go of me long enough to unlock the cell door. Vaughan pushed through his aggressive cellmates, all anxious to escape this hell hole. Vaughan threw his arms around me and crushed me against his chest.

  “I thought they were going to kill you,” he bit out against my hair. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

  I sputtered as I tried to breathe through his tight hold and wrapped my arms around his narrow waist. My body started to tremble. A tremor of relief rocked through me first and then a full-blown earthquake. I was instantly sick to my stomach and if Vaughan hadn’t been holding me up, I would have collapsed.

  “We have to keep moving,” Nelson barked.

  Vaughan swiveled his body so that he still held me, but could grip his brother’s face in his hands. “I never thought I would see you again either.” Vaughan shook Nelson’s head roughly. “It’s good to see you, Brother.”

  Nelson sucked in a steadying breath and let his forehead drop to Vaughan’s. “It’s good to see you too. I didn’t know if you would still be alive by the time I got back.”

  Explosions sounded in the background, interrupting this private moment. Bodies fled the cage and bumped into us on their way to escape. The surrounding cages of people screamed out their desperation for freedom, they wanted us to open their doors as well.

  “Where’s Page?” Vaughan demanded.

  Nelson swallowed roughly, “I’ll explain later.”

  “And Haley?” Vaughan asked.

  “Safe,” Nelson promised. “Alive.”

  The tension that coiled around my heart loosened. I inhaled fully and blinked away relieved tears. Haley was alive.

  Haley was safe.

  “Let’s get you back to her then, yeah?” Vaughan grinned.

  “And then we’ll go after Page,” Nelson added.

  “Without a doubt.” Vaughan stepped back from me and I gathered whatever remained of my courage and willpower.

  We moved from cage to cage, only unlocking the ones with people we cared about in them. We found Tyler next. Vaughan didn’t wait for her to step through the cage. He shoved through the crowd of hysterical slaves and elbowed them out of the way. She was in his arms in the next moment. Her feet didn’t even touch the ground as he crushed her to his chest. When he finally set her down he cupped her face with his hands as if she were a fragile bird. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks and he placed the gentlest kiss to her dry lips. My heart ached for them and for my own loneliness. I was suddenly, sharply jealous of this blooming relationship they had. It hurt to watch them. It killed me.

  Next, we went after Harrison and King.

  “King thought you were dead,” Harrison announced.

  “I did not!” King shoved Harrison from behind and in his weakened state, Harrison nearly toppled over. “I never said that,” King told Nelson.

  Harrison snorted. “He bet me ten bucks.”

  “Thanks for having faith in me,” Nelson grumbled.

  There was no more time for chitchat. Vaughan took off running for our last cage. Hendrix. Finally Hendrix.

  Hendrix stepped from his cage and immediately embraced Nelson. Nelson’s chest heaved with a sudden sob. Harrison, King and Vaughan soon joined them, making a manly version of a group hug. They stood there for long seconds, wrapped in a private Parker moment.

  My head was a constant loop of consequences for myself or what it would be like for me to lose one of these people that I loved. It was sometimes hard to fight beyond my own selfish fears to think about what the Parkers had been through over the last couple days. I hadn’t fully thought about what Vaughan and Hendrix had been through as they watched Nelson and Page get loaded into that truck. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything beyond my own grief.

  I hadn’t thought about what it was like for Nelson to leave his family behind in order to stay with Haley. I had been constantly choked with my fear for Page and Haley, but I hadn’t been able to comprehend what it would be like for these five protective, loyal, generous men to lose their little sister and Haley’s baby.

  This moment was just a small picture into what they went through emotionally. And it shattered me. It left me breathless and hollow.

  When the boys finally let each other go, Hendrix was in front of me before I could take another breath. The air around him vibrated with intensity. His eyes glittered in the darkness. He didn’t touch me. He didn’t do anything but stand there and look at me.

  Under different circumstances, I would have probably called him out for acting weird. But tonight… after everything we had been through… I understood him. I knew that he needed to stand there and convince himself that I was still alive. He didn’t want to touch me because he thought I was going to disappear. He couldn’t make himself make this moment real just in case it wasn’t.

  I knew that he felt that way, because that was how I felt.

  My heart pounded in my chest, fast and punishingly. There had been a part of me… a large part of me… that had thought I wouldn’t get this opportunity again.

  I thought I had wasted it. I thought I had let it get away from me. I thought I had lost him.

  And what was worst of all… I realized I hadn’t fought for him.

  It had taken me too long to get here, to realize that I wanted him and nothing else. There wasn’t a thing in this world that could tempt me beyond this man.

  But he didn’t know that. He didn’t know I still loved him or that I would die without him. He didn’t know that I was tired of fighting myself and the demons that haunted me. I was exhausted from guilt that I couldn’t carry on my own. I was tattered and raw with aching for him.

  I was battered and bruised from denying myself him.

  I didn’t know if he still wanted me like he used to. I didn’t know if we could ever have what we had before.

  But I was finished fighting my feelings for him.

  He didn’t say anything to me and my fierce resolve turned into something like embarrassment. He seemed pissed.

  Beyond pissed.

  He was infuriated. And all of that intense rage and unbridled fury directed itself toward me.

  My chest tightened and my stomach flipped beneath the force of him. I didn’t know whether to burst into tears or fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness.

  “We have to go,” Nelson shouted over the increasing sounds of chaos.

  Someone pushed by me, shoving me forward. Hendrix’s hands shot out to catch me. His unforgiving fingers grasped my forearms and held me upright. His blue eyes cut down to mine and flashed with something incomprehensible.

  I couldn’t read his thoughts or even begin to interpret what he was thinking. He was more of an enigma today than he had ever been.

  “We’re going,” he repeated to me. “You ready?”

  His deep voice rumbled through me, while his touch burned into my skin. I couldn’t think beyond his touch. Beyond his look.

  Beyond him.

  “Yes,” I whispered weakly.

  Approval for my answer tilted his lips in the smallest shadow of a smile. “Then let’s go.”

  My feet started to move with him until I remembered something critically important. “Wait,” I huffed, gathering my senses that Hendrix seemed capable of scattering with only a heated look. “
Wait, I’m not ready.”

  He turned to look at me over his shoulder and I felt his emotions skyrocket with frustration and fury. He opened his mouth to demand an explanation, but I already had one for him.

  “Adela,” I blurted. “We can’t leave her.”

  “Adela?” His brows drew together in confusion. For a moment I wondered if he even remembered her. We’d been through so much over the last few days. She hadn’t been with us for long.

  “Hendrix, Diego will take her again if we don’t save her. And if Diego doesn’t get her, then Raphael will. We have to help her.”

  He spun around until we were face to face again. “No, we don’t. I’m beyond any more of this Good Samaritan bullshit, Reagan. I’m done with it.”

  “Hendrix-”

  His long finger jabbed in my face, “And you’re going to get over it to. We are not here to save the world. We just need to survive. That’s it. That’s enough for us.”

  He was right. I knew that he was right. I glanced around at the mayhem we’d created. Small fires burned sporadically while people in every state of despair fled this horrific place. But where could they go? The desert was as dangerous as Raphael.

  Gunshots crackled near the house and the Zombies had been awakened. Their unearthly shrieks rent the night air, punctuating our desperate situation.

  I didn’t care about these people. As heartless as that made me, I could not force myself to care about what happened to them. Maybe it was my recent experience on the floor of my cell or maybe my heart had finally shriveled down to nothing.

  It didn’t really matter though because I couldn’t find the energy to care what happened to these strangers. I had to get the people I knew, the people I loved, the people that meant more to me than anything else to safety.

  And also Adela.

  Instinct prodded me to go back for her. I couldn’t even tie the internal warning to empathy or concern. This was bigger than feeling.