But was it worth facing for the rest of her life?
“It could have been so much worse,” Jay whispered, his deep voice thick with emotion she didn’t expect.
Her heart warmed and expanded in her chest, making it hard to breathe past the lump in her throat. Because it was her nature, she tried to make Jay feel better, even if she had her reservations about the ongoing threat, something she had to face now and possibly in the future if she stayed with him.
“I’m fine. Really, I am. You, Caden, and Beck will all work to uncover the who and why. I wouldn’t want to be that guy. If he wanted to send a message, all he did was put three determined expert agents on his ass.”
Jay leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers. “I get my hands on him, he’ll wish he was never born.”
The sweet sentiment behind the deadly threat sank into her heart and glowed bright and warm in her chest.
They had a date this Sunday, but Jay never signed up for her to stay here the next few days.
Jay felt the shift in her, sat up, and stared down at her. “What is it?”
“You told my brothers you’d keep an eye on me, but that doesn’t mean I need to stay here. Give me about ten minutes to figure out how to get out of bed, another fifteen to get Adam up and ready to go, then you can take us to my place.” She pinched the T-shirt he let her borrow last night. “I’ll return this once I change clothes at my place.”
He glared down at her. “All done?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Great. Today, you can wear my shirt and anything else you need. You will lie around and rest, watching whatever you want on TV. I will feed you, by which I mean I’ll order you anything you want from the pizza place and deli I pay dearly to get delivery out here.” The embarrassed boyish grin made her smile.
“I take it you don’t cook.”
“Some. In dire circumstances. But I wasn’t expecting company, so the fridge is kind of bare. Unless you want cereal. I bought some for Adam, since I planned to feed him before day camp. He’s staying home today, too.”
Home. She didn’t delude herself that he meant anything by it. After last night, her heart wanted to latch onto something good with the possibility of great. But she needed to stop that train of thought in its tracks and center herself in reality, not fairy tale. The call with her brothers this morning and Jay’s fear this had something to do with them or him brought the danger in Jay’s life too close to home.
She spent far too much time worrying about her brothers. Did she really want to spend a lifetime with a man who put his life on the line every day? Would they have a lifetime? Was the possibility of a lifetime together worth the danger?
Would she regret letting a chance at happy go?
She and Jay had started this thing between them by enjoying the moment and not thinking about what came next. If she spent all her time wondering about what might happen, would she miss out on more of those wonderful moments with him?
Not just the sex, mind-blowing as it was, but moments like they shared this morning when he opened up to her about nearly losing her. Or the way he crawled into bed with her last night and just his presence alone comforted her and chased away the nightmares of what she’d been through.
Last night she’d been looking forward to their date on Sunday. This morning she woke up to the reality of being a part of Jay’s life.
“I lost you, sweetheart. What’s wrong? Is the pain too much?”
“Yeah.” True enough, but the swirling thoughts and emotions left her confused and dazed and a little scared. The pain would fade. She wasn’t so sure the pinch of regret would cease if she walked away from Jay now before she got in too deep and things got too dangerous for her and her heart.
Jay walked into the adjoining bathroom, ran the water, and came back with a filled glass for her to take the pain meds the doctor prescribed at the ER. Jay handed her the bottle from the bedside table. She read the label.
“What’s with the frown?” Jay sat on the bed beside her.
She pulled back one side of her mouth in dismay. “This is Dilaudid.”
“You were in a lot of pain last night. The tension in your body, the way you’re holding perfectly still, and the pain I see in your eyes tells me it’s not any better. You need that.”
She took one of the pills out and downed it with the water Jay handed her. “I just think the doctor could have prescribed something less powerful than this. It’s not like I broke a bone or had surgery.”
“I think he just wanted to be sure you were comfortable. You can barely move your neck. Every breath you take must hurt like hell with your bruised ribs.”
She shook the nearly full bottle of pills up and down. “All that is true, but he gave me a ten-day supply. People become addicted to powerful pain meds like this in less time than that.”
“Are you worried about taking them?”
“I’m more concerned that doctors hand out prescriptions like this when less powerful drugs taken for a shorter period of time would get someone injured like me through the worst of the pain the first few days until the body heals enough and the pain subsides.”
Jay nodded toward the bottle. “It’s part of the reason those pills go for big bucks on the street.”
“It’s why ordinary people who have never or rarely taken drugs end up dependent.”
“I’ve busted soccer moms buying pills with their kids strapped into car seats in the back of their minivans.” He didn’t hide the disgust in his eyes.
“Now that’s just sad.” Her heart broke for those poor kids—and the moms who probably wanted to be everything their kids deserved but found themselves sucked into addiction.
“I see sad every day. But nothing is harder than seeing the innocent people who are affected by drugs.” He sighed and his gaze dropped to the floor. “If what happened to you is because of me, I’m really sorry. You have no idea how much. I’d never want anything I do to come back on you. I know your brothers feel the same way.”
Unable to get up just yet, she placed her hand on his knee because she needed to comfort him in some way. She needed the contact. She needed to remember that he really wasn’t responsible just because he did a very necessary job that he loved.
“This is not your fault. Bad men do bad things. You’re one of the good guys. So before you start taking responsibility, let’s wait and find out what really happened. For all we know, it was an accident or some asshole went all road rage on my ass because I was daydreaming about the way you like to kiss your way down my thigh and driving too slow.”
The under-the-breath chuckle didn’t light up his eyes. “You don’t believe that.”
“I don’t not believe it either. I don’t know what to think.”
“Any new details come back to you?”
The replay went through her mind again. She wanted to stop it, but couldn’t. The fear washed through her with a cold chill as she relived the jarring surprise when he hit her the first time. The realization that he was coming back for more set off another bolt of terror. When the car rolled, she’d feared it was over. Then the car stopped and she jolted back into place in her seat and the world spun . . . and a light flashed.
She stared up at Jay who held her trembling hand protected in his warm ones. “He took a picture.”
Jay rocked back with the news. “Are you sure?”
“I saw the flash right before I passed out. He’s just a dark figure sitting in the front seat of the car with the phone held up. And the flash goes off. I’m sure. He took a picture.”
“Why? He didn’t send it to your brothers or me as a threat. The DEA hasn’t gotten anything.”
“Maybe for insurance purposes?”
The ridiculous suggestion made Jay glare. “He fled the scene of a major accident.”
“He freaked and fled?”
Jay growled. Actually growled. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Not until the drugs wear off, because they have obviously muddled your m
ind. I’m going to check on Adam and get you some coffee.”
“My hero.” She desperately needed a caffeine kick, and despite Jay’s comment about the drugs wearing off, she needed them to kick in soon to stave off the throbbing pain. And after her conversations last night with those affected by prescription drug abuse and the doctor prescribing her a highly addictive painkiller, she needed to think about how best she could serve her community and help keep dangerous prescription drugs off the streets and out of the hands of vulnerable people.
Chapter Thirteen
The squeal of high-pitched laughter drew her to the kitchen along with the smell of coffee. Jay left her lying in bed and hadn’t yet returned with the promised caffeine fix. She wouldn’t mind staying there for the rest of the day, but she wanted to see Adam, call in sick to work, figure out a plan to get some clothes from her house, and get the ball rolling with her insurance company for the car accident. She needed a new car. But she’d start with a rental for now.
She didn’t remember much of the house beyond the spacious entry, but she found the rest of the place as clean, neat, and orderly as Jay’s bedroom. All the wood furniture gleamed as shiny as the wood floors. Jay kept the decorations and color scheme simple. Off-white area rugs anchored the rich, brown leather sofas in the living room and the farmhouse table in the dining room. Wrought-iron chandeliers and table lamps gave the place a rustic feel, but the simple clean lines in the furnishings gave a contemporary feel without making the place seem sterile. The rich wood added warmth. And so did the small touches, like the horse photographs on the walls, the massive stone fireplace with the chunky mantel covered in family photos, silver candlestick holders, and white ceramic pots filled with fake greenery that looked like a live mounding plant. On the dining room table sat a bowl of red apples she’d bet were made of wood but looked edible.
“Hey, you should have stayed in bed.” Jay stood in the kitchen doorway, his hands braced on either side of the doorframe. He looked good enough to lick in worn jeans and a black T-shirt that stretched across his wide chest and around his biceps.
“I would have if you delivered the promised coffee.”
“Sorry, I got sidetracked with Adam and a bowl of Lucky Charms.”
That made her smile. “It gave me a chance to see the house.” She pointed to the dining room on the right. “That antique mirror over the buffet is gorgeous.” Distressed by time and use, the flaws and black spots gave the simple oval mirror character, which complemented the black metal frame worn to silver on part of the edges. “Did you take the photographs?”
“My mother.”
“They’re great. Your horses?”
He pointed to the chestnut in the entry. “Scooby. My childhood pal. I lost him about ten years ago.” He waved his hand toward the white horse standing in front of a dark barren tree in a snow-covered field. “Blizzard. She’s out back in the pasture with Willa. Adam wants to feed them apples after breakfast.”
“Sounds good.” She went to him, hooked her hand around the back of his neck, and brought him down for a kiss because she couldn’t move her neck. He came willingly, brushing his lips over hers, then sinking in for a long press of his mouth to hers, his eyes still open and staring into hers.
She placed her palm on his face and swept her thumb over his cheek. “Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary. I don’t need a reason to kiss you.” He finally released the doorframe and wrapped his arms around her back in a loose hug.
“No, thank you for last night, for taking care of me, letting me borrow your clothes, holding me through the nightmares, just being you.”
“You look good in my clothes.” He smiled and stared down between them at the too-long T-shirt and the pair of cutoff sweats that, even tied at her waist, still hung low on her hips and draped to her shins.
“I look like an elf in your clothes, but they’re comfortable and smell like you.”
His eyes smoldered. “You make it hard to remember you’re hurt, the kid’s in the kitchen, and I can’t take you back to bed right now.”
She laid her forehead against his chin and pressed her aching body to his rock-hard one.
Jay combed his fingers through her long hair to the back of her neck and held her close. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“Yes. And no. I’m still off after last night.”
“It’s understandable. Plus, you haven’t had your coffee.” The teasing in his voice made her grin.
She pushed back and stared up at him, appreciating his attempt to lighten her mood and that not everything between them had to be about sleeping together. He’d been a real friend last night. And so much more when he turned on that tender side and spoke from his heart. She didn’t mind the protective streak either. Much. Though she had a feeling he’d try to dictate her movements over the next few days, if not longer, and they’d butt heads about it for sure.
He took her hand and led her into the kitchen. Adam sat at the breakfast bar off the marble island staring down at Jay’s cell phone. He moved his finger over the screen, his face scrunched, gaze serious.
She went to him, kissed him on top of the head, and glanced at the screen. “Frogger?” The old-school game held Adam’s attention as he tried to move his frog across a river of logs and turtles.
“Aw, man! I lost again.” Adam took a huge bite of cereal and started over.
Jay handed her a mug of coffee and held up a loaf of multigrain bread. “I can make you toast and eggs.”
“You’re sweeter than you look.”
He shook his head, fighting back another grin, then went to the fridge to get the eggs. He moved with intention and precision. The job made him purposeful. He remained aware of her and Adam behind him, glancing over his shoulder from time to time, even giving her a questioning eyebrow raise when she continued to stare. She just smiled sweetly and enjoyed the view. Tight ass, broad back, strong arms, and big, competent hands.
Her purse lay on the breakfast table. Jay must have brought it in from his car early this morning. She snagged it and sat at the bar beside Adam. Her phone only had ten percent left on the battery, but it would be enough to call in to work.
The phone barely rang when Noel picked up. “Are you okay?”
The desperation in his voice froze her in place and stopped her heart for a few beats. “Uh, I’m fine.”
Jay turned from the stove and gave her an are-you-serious face.
“Actually, I was in a car accident last night. How did you know something was wrong?”
Jay pinned her in his intense gaze.
“Uh, well, y-you’re ten minutes late for work. You’re never late.” True, but ten minutes didn’t warrant the amped concern in Noel’s voice.
“I’m really sorry, but I won’t be in today.”
Jay’s eyebrow shot up again.
“I won’t be in tomorrow either,” she added before Jay made another face at her.
“How badly were you hurt?”
“I actually got off lucky with just some scratches, bruises, and a sprained neck.”
“Oh God, I’m so sorry.” The depth of emotion touched her but also seemed over the top.
“Are you sure you don’t need me there so you can be with Lee?” This time she didn’t even look up to see what kind of face Jay made at her.
“No.” The word snapped out too quickly, like he wanted to keep her away from the store. “You need to rest. I can take care of things here. Don’t worry, I will take care of them.” Odd wording, but she let it go, chalking it up to the stress Noel was under with his ailing wife and covering for her.
“If you’re sure.”
“Stay home. It’s for the best. When you come back, I’ll have everything back to normal.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Oh, sorry, I’m distracted. My mind is all over the place this morning with everything going on.”
“Noel, if it’s too much for you . . .”
“I can’t believe y
ou got hurt. I can fix this. I will. Take care. Be safe. I’ll see you Monday.”
She dropped her hand from her ear and stared at the phone, wondering what the hell happened. Noel didn’t sound like himself. He wasn’t making sense.
“I think the meds are messing with my mind.”
Jay set her plate of food in front of her and laid his hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s probably just me.”
“But?”
“It’s almost like he knew something happened.”
Jay tensed beside her; everything about him went on alert. “What do you mean?”
“Granted, I’m not usually late to work, but when he answered, he seemed overly upset that I didn’t show up on time. As if the only reason I’d be late was because something terrible happened.”
“Something did happen.”
“Yes, but why assume the worst?” She tried to reason it out in her mind and came up with the only answer that made any kind of sense. “His wife has cancer. He tries to hide how much he worries about her and what might happen. I guess he’s transferred that concern to me as well.”
Jay’s eyes squinted. “He’s as concerned about you as he is his wife. Something you want to share about that?”
Damn investigator radar for the details people leave out. “You’re annoying sometimes, you know that?”
Unfazed, he gave her shoulder a soft squeeze. “Spill it.”
“He’s kind of got a thing for me. We’re partners in the business. We spend a lot of time together. He’s lonely.” That got another eyebrow raise. “His wife is sick. His girls are away at college. He’s kind of alone and looking for . . . I don’t know, companionship.”
“Uh-huh.”
She didn’t like that “Uh-huh” one bit.
“Just because your wife is sick doesn’t give you the excuse to go looking for love somewhere else. She needs him. He should be with her.”
She liked his when-things-get-tough-you-stick-together attitude. She admired that about him. “I agree. I’m just saying that he’s dealing with her stuff and his own. I get the sense he feels like all the attention is on her—rightfully so—but he wants to be taken care of, too.”
Tempted by Love Page 10