“I’ll just bet he wants you to take care of him.”
She held her hand out flat toward Adam happily shoveling Lucky Charms into his mouth in between video game levels. “Watch it. I like Noel. He’s built a successful business and gave me a shot when I had little experience.”
“He needed the money you brought to the table.” Of course Jay knew the background. Her brothers probably told him during some long stakeout.
She didn’t like his unintended allegation that she’d get involved with Noel—a married man. She didn’t think he really believed that, but let his jealousy show that he didn’t like Noel getting too close to her. “I keep things professional.”
“Let me guess, he sometimes crosses the line.”
“I’ve made it clear, we’re friends, but he can be overly familiar. That makes things uncomfortable for me. He’s never crossed the line, but he sometimes goes right up to it. I don’t even think he realizes it.”
“Yes. He does.” As a guy, Jay knew how they thought and acted.
She didn’t want to argue. She shouldn’t keep making excuses for Noel’s bad behavior either. “I believe in promises and vows. I would never do anything to jeopardize a relationship, especially when it’s vulnerable. Lee is sick. Noel is trying to cope and looking for understanding and comfort.”
“If he tries to find it with you again and won’t take no for an answer, I’ll be happy to drive the point home that you’re not interested.”
She tried to laugh it off, but Jay held her gaze, his serious and intent.
“Right?” Jay asked.
It took her a second to figure out what he meant. “No. I’m not interested in him. He’s practically old enough to be my father. His oldest daughter is only four years younger than me.”
“You don’t seem to mind older guys,” he pointed out.
She shook her head. “You are the only ‘older guy’ I’ve dated and Noel has several years on you. Look, I get it, the age thing reminds you of what happened with your parents and how that embittered your mom. I have older brothers. I know what they were like and what they liked when they were younger. I liked a lot of the same things you all probably liked. I thought a lot of their friends were hot. Back then, most definitely inappropriate. Now, I don’t see it as a big deal, and I don’t think you really do either.”
“So, we’re dating?” The humor in his eyes didn’t mask the seriousness in his tone.
She shook her head. “That’s what you pulled out of there.”
He waited for her answer.
“We have a date this weekend. So long as nobody tries to . . .”—she glanced at Adam—“you know.” For Adam’s sake, she left off, tries to kill me. “I’m looking forward to a little normal between us.” They’d hooked up a few times. That seemed too casual for what they shared but she couldn’t come up with a better description. Because of her “accident,” she was staying here for a few days. That didn’t make them dating. Did it?
Jay leaned on his forearms on the counter and stared over at her, none too happy-looking about her response. “Your brothers are a bigger concern than our age difference. But we are seeing each other. Exclusively. No pharmacists on the side.”
“I’m not an on-the-side kind of girl. For me, or the guy I’m seeing.” After what his parents went through, she didn’t think he was the cheating or seeing-multiple-women-at-the-same-time kind of guy either.
“I barely have time to see you, sweetheart.”
It seemed both of them couldn’t quite decide what seeing and dating really meant for them at this point. The physical part of their relationship seemed so easy. The emotional stuff, their wants and desires for everything else, they still needed to work out.
This time she gave him the scrunched annoyed face.
He leaned in and kissed her softly, pulled back just an inch, stared into her eyes, and whispered, “You’re all I want.” He sealed that promise with another soft kiss that in its simplicity left her feeling the warmth and sincerity of the perfect moment through her whole being.
He brushed his thumb down the side of her face and gave her one of his not-so-straight smiles. “Eat your breakfast, sweetheart.”
She stared down at her lightly toasted bread and over-medium eggs. “How did you know how I like my eggs?”
“That’s what you ordered the first morning of the wedding weekend.”
She glanced over at him. “You remembered that?”
“I remember all kinds of little things about you. I seem to be storing them up.”
“Can we go feed the horses now?” Adam pushed his empty bowl away, set the phone down, and blinked a few times from staring at the screen too long.
“Sure.” Jay pushed off the counter, handed her the fork beside her plate, and ordered, “Eat. I’ll take the kid for a walk to work off all that sugar he just ate.”
“You sure you don’t need your walker, grandpa?” she teased just to emphasize the age thing really didn’t matter.
He leaned into her ear, his big hand clamped onto her thigh, right near her hip, his fingers splayed wide. If he dipped his hand just a little, he’d touch the fire burning in her. “You know I don’t need a walker or even a little blue pill to show you just how young and fit I am. But if you need a reminder of the hours we spent together, say the word and I’m yours.”
Adam grabbed Jay by the arm and tugged. “Come on, Jay, you promised.”
“I always keep my promises,” he answered Adam, but said the words to her. An echo of what she’d said to him about believing in promises and vows. He kissed her on the forehead. “We’ll be back soon. You need anything, hit the call button on that panel.” He pointed to the intercom system by the back door. “I’ll hear you over the speakers in the stables.”
“I’ll be fine. After breakfast, I think I’ll take a shower and figure out what needs to be done next.”
“Take it slow and easy.”
“The pain med is kicking in. The more I move, the looser I feel.”
“Come on.” Adam tugged harder on Jay’s arm, though now it had turned into more of a game than anything as Jay didn’t budge an inch and Adam giggled and pulled with all his might.
Jay finally let Adam drag him toward the back door, but stopped when his phone pinged with a text message. Alina picked it up from the counter where Adam left it and held it out for Jay, but pulled it back close when she spotted the name that flashed on the screen in the alert.
“Who is Ginger?”
Jay snatched the phone from her, unlocked it, and read the message, absently saying, “Stripper name.”
“What’s a stripper?” Adam asked.
Jay didn’t respond. Alina didn’t know what to say or think about a stripper texting Jay.
“Care to share?” she asked Jay, waiting for him to stop typing a mile a minute and answer her.
“Code name for King while he’s undercover.” Jay finally looked up at her, then a smile split his face. “Why? Jealous?”
“If King’s undercover as a stripper, I won’t judge. It’s all in the line of duty, right?”
Jay’s eyes danced with delight. He didn’t buy her lame cover one bit.
“What’s a stripper?” Adam asked again.
Jay distracted him. “Get an apple out of the fridge for Willa and Blizzard.”
Adam dashed to the fridge eager to get the apple and go see the horses.
Jay sent off another text.
“Is everything okay? If you have to leave, we’ll be fine here alone.”
Jay studied his phone, but answered her. “You will not be left alone even if I have to go, but I don’t. King’s just checking in, giving me an update.”
“You look worried.”
“I’m always worried about my guys. King’s just out of jail and taking on a major assignment. He’s already made contact with his target but things with his mark are . . . complex.”
“How so?”
Jay didn’t answer at first, then he smiled
. “Women complicate everything.”
She rolled her eyes. “Get out.”
Jay took Adam’s hand and opened the back door. “Kicked out of my own house.”
“I can’t even go back to mine.”
Jay let Adam walk ahead and turned back to her. “I will find whoever hurt you and make sure they never do it again. In the meantime, for what it’s worth, I like having you here.” He closed the door behind him.
She sat at the counter with her perfect breakfast in his lovely home. “I like being here.” Maybe too much. Because though they’d shared a bed, they hadn’t shared much else. As close as she felt to him, she still didn’t believe this thing between them would really go anywhere.
But the longer she spent with him, the more she wanted it to.
Chapter Fourteen
Jay stared at his black home office window, seeing nothing but his reflection in the glass, his mind on the call that left him with nothing but unanswered questions.
He focused on the beautiful woman behind him and not his dark thoughts about what happened to her. She stood with her hand on him, her face slightly tilted down, dark hair falling over her shoulders, a slight smile on her rosy lips.
They looked good together. It both intrigued and concerned him. He wanted her with an intensity he’d never imagined possible. Lust for a beautiful woman came easily. But his feelings for Alina ran deep, like a river disappearing into a mountain, filling his cavernous heart. Uncharted territory. Scary. But every time he shined a light on it, it reflected through him, brightening his soul.
With the way he lived his life, working more than living, threats around every corner, sometimes coming too close, he didn’t know if it was fair or if he could hold on to her. But he wanted to more than he wanted to admit, because losing her meant more days alone, but now he’d really know what it was to be lonely for someone.
She gave him a reason to want to tip the seesaw of his life from work to personal and find a balance that made him happier. And kept Alina by his side. Because he found himself thinking about the future where he had someone to come home to, a reason to let the never-ending paperwork wait a little longer, the long, drawn-out missions that kept him gone for days go to someone else so he could attend Little League, soccer games, and ballet recitals.
The bruises and scrapes on her face, the brace around her neck, the stiffness in her body, reminded him how close he’d come to losing her. That desperate-to-get-to-her feeling rushed through him again even though she stood inches from him.
What would he feel if he actually lost her?
“Jay, are you okay?”
No, he wasn’t okay. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t sure how to get what he wanted, if he could make it happen, or how to make it happen. For a guy who’d gone after everything—school, training, the job—with single-minded determination and gotten everything he wanted, this uncertainty about Alina unsettled him more than he expected.
He wanted to tell himself it didn’t matter that much. Whatever happened, happened. But lying, especially to himself, wasn’t his deal. He didn’t know how it happened, but she mattered more to him than anything. And keeping her safe, making her happy, had become his number one priority.
He took her hand from his shoulder and kissed her palm, then pressed it to his cheek. He wasn’t okay, but couldn’t tell her that, so he deflected. “Is Adam down for the night?”
Alina pulled her hand free and spun his chair so he no longer looked at their reflection but up into her earnest face. “He’s asleep. Now, what’s wrong?”
Smart woman. He should have known she wouldn’t let him get away without answering her. Plus, he should have anticipated she’d read him better than most since he had no trouble letting down his guard around her.
“I was just thinking about us.”
“And that upsets you?”
He shook his head and tried to make her understand even if the things running through his mind didn’t make a whole lot of sense to him either. “The cops found the car that ran you off the road.”
“Great. Do they have a suspect?”
To his utter disgust, they had nothing worth a damn. “No. The car had been reported stolen this morning when the owner woke up and discovered it missing from the driveway. The cops located it with the GPS tracker. It had been abandoned behind a strip mall about six blocks from where the accident occurred. No prints. They wiped the inside clean.” Which to him seemed more calculated and professional than some random accident that scared the unknown driver into ditching the car so he wouldn’t get caught. “Nothing left behind but the damage from the accident.”
“Okay.”
“There have been no threats to your brothers or me. No one has contacted us or the DEA claiming responsibility.” The frustration building inside him came out with his tight words. “There’s no chatter on the streets about someone trying to take you out for retribution for . . . whatever. As far as we know, no one in your life is angry with you and wants to hurt you.”
“Jay, sometimes the simplest answer is the right answer. Someone stole the car, took it for a joyride, and got a bug up their butt and hit me.”
“That was an eighty-thousand-dollar car. It takes skill to jack an SUV with all the bells and whistles. They’d have done so to take it to a chop shop and earn some cash. Not to joyride and . . . what? See what it’s like to nearly kill someone for the hell of it!” His heart thrashed in his chest, blood pounded through his veins, along with his rising anger and frustration.
“Shh.” She touched her fingertips to his lips to stop him from yelling even more. “You’ll wake Adam.”
He pulled her hand away, stood, and walked to the tall windows, still seeing his reflection and not the dark night. He didn’t like the desperate look in his eyes. “Damnit, Alina, don’t you get it?”
She placed her free hand on his back and rubbed it up to his shoulder. “Someone stole the car so they could hurt me, ditch it, and not get caught.”
The words spelled out his worst nightmare. Not some random act, but a cold, calculated attempt to kill her.
Why?
Because of him?
The thought tightened the knots in his stomach and clenched his heart so hard it hurt to breathe. With no outlet to take out his aggression, he let his fury fly with the fist he sent into the window frame. The pain in his hand was nothing compared to the rage still consuming him.
Alina took her hand from him and stepped back. He felt the loss of her touch like a dying man in the desert misses water. Then she surprised him, spinning him around, hooking her arm around his neck, pressing her body against his a split second before her mouth landed on his and she kissed him. Not sweet or soft or even hungry, but with a purpose to make him pay attention to all she said without a single word.
She had his attention. And possession of him with her arm wrapped around his neck. Chest-to-chest and hip-to-hip, she gave herself over to him and still managed to convey that she had no intention of letting him go.
She slowed the kiss, then brushed light kisses against his lips, one after the other, as his breathing steadied and his muscles loosened but he didn’t let go his hold on her either.
Foreheads pressed together, their eyes closed, she sighed out his name. “This is not your fault. I know you will find out who did this and why. You will stop them. And no matter what happens, I know, with you, I’m safe.”
His eyes flew open and he stared into the crystal-clear granite of hers and knew those words held the strength and conviction he saw in the blue-gray depths of her eyes. Somehow he’d earned her trust despite the fact she’d been hurt and what they’d shared up until now had been a series of lust-fueled encounters with an underlying current of what could be if they only gave in to their deepest desire to connect with that kind of passion on another level.
“I want . . .” He didn’t know how to put it into words. “So much. I want you to be safe. I want this to not be so complicated. I want you. Do you
get that?”
Her hand slid from his hair to the side of his face. She held him still and stared into his eyes. “It’s not complicated. I want you, too.” The decision made shown in her eyes.
She’d been struggling with the same questions and misgivings he had about starting a relationship, but somehow it had not only started but they were in the thick of it and committed to each other.
He never expected it to happen like this.
“I thought relationships started off slow and built into something unbreakable and lasting. That feelings grew stronger over time. I never thought it would burst inside of me like this and just be.”
Her words knocked him off-kilter but righted everything inside him at the same time. She didn’t say it outright, but that had been a straight-up declaration of love.
And now, nothing about them scared him.
Everything became clear. He didn’t need to do anything, say anything, make some kind of magic happen. “It just is between us.”
The same kind of relief her words gave him softened her eyes as his words sank in for her.
For a split second he was like, Okay, we’re on the same page, now what? Then she smiled at him and her whole face lit up and that new feeling living inside him took over and he kissed her. He fell back on what brought them together and let that spark ignite a fire.
Before, he focused on the need to have her. Now he wanted to show her how much she meant to him because acknowledging it had set something free in him that he needed to share with her.
It seemed like one move, undoing her bra and pulling it, the sling, and her shirt off over her head. Her pained squeak and the bruises across her chest reminded him to be gentle and that taking her on his office floor wasn’t the best idea. He tossed away the bra, sling, and shirt, kept kissing her, dipped and slid his hands around her bottom and picked her up off her feet. She followed his lead and wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked out of the office with her wrapped around him. He couldn’t see where he was going, didn’t need to, since he knew the house so well. He followed his need and the hallway down to his room, kicked the door closed, hoping the noise didn’t wake Adam, and laid her out on his bed, trailing kisses down her chest and belly as he stood and pulled her pants and panties off her legs.
Tempted by Love Page 11