“He’ll probably check in again soon.” Dave took the turnoff for Jay’s driveway that wound away from the main road enough to make the property feel secluded but still had easy access for Jay to make the long drive into work.
She had no idea what took Jay away in the dead of night. She worried about him, too, today. Was he in danger?
Beck had spent years in constant danger undercover. Caden went on dangerous raids all the time. Jay was in charge. Did he spend his days at the office giving orders, or was he right beside his guys?
Right beside his guys, she answered her own question. Jay wouldn’t let others handle things or do anything he wouldn’t do himself. He couldn’t even let the cops handle the car accident. He had to be involved.
His dedication and devotion to his guys made her admire him, but it also made her worry about what life with him would be like. Easy enough to imagine, she lived it with her brothers. The constant worry, wondering if any minute she’d get that devastating call that they’d been hurt or killed. But because of that, she’d always valued the time they spent together. She tried to enjoy it and soak up all the good memories with them because she never knew if that was the last time she’d see them.
Maybe living that way with Jay would be stressful, but so worth it if they committed to living their lives like it could be taken away at any time.
Not a great thought, but living present in their lives had to be better than passively wandering through each day thinking there was always tomorrow and missing out on truly being in the moment.
Her mind went back to her and Jay and when they were first together, both of them thinking it a one-time thing they had to make perfect and last. They’d given themselves over to each other and the moment and it turned out to be such a gift. A memory to cherish.
They pulled into the drive in front of the house dappled in shade from the large trees. Again, she got that sense of comfort. Until she spotted the woman scowling on the front porch. While the house might say welcome, Jay’s mother had made it clear she didn’t want Alina in her son’s life.
“Wait in the car. Let me check things out before we go in.” Ever vigilant, Dave’s gaze scoped out every shadow and potential hiding spot around them.
“I don’t think that’s necessary. Heather Bennett is on the porch. I’m sure if there was some kind of danger, she’d be aware of it.”
“Still. Let me take a look. Otherwise Bennett will kill me.”
“Can I play Frogger on your phone?” Adam asked from the backseat as he yawned, waking up from his nap after the long ride.
She’d downloaded the game onto her phone this morning after Adam woke up, discovered Jay went to work and took his phone, and he pouted and asked her every three minutes, “When will Jay be home?”
She hoped soon because she didn’t want to spend too long alone with his mom.
Adam greedily stole the phone from her hand as she passed it back. Dave slipped from the car and made a circuit around the house, saying something to Heather as he passed from the front to the back. She waited on the porch, her arms crossed at her chest, eyes glued on Alina.
It took Dave an interminably long time to circle the house and make his way from room to room inside before he waved the all clear.
Dave grabbed their bags from the backseat. She put her hand on Adam’s shoulder and led him up the path to the front door. With his head bent, eyes glued on the screen, he didn’t pay one bit of attention to where he was going.
Alina sent Adam through the door, hoping he found his way to the couch without stumbling into anything.
“All this space to run wild and you let him play those games.”
“He likes them.”
Heather shook her head in disgust. “He’ll be addicted to that device and never play outside.”
“I’m the aunt, not the mother. It’s my prerogative to spoil him. Besides, your son is the one who hooked him on the game.” Alina took a calming breath and tried to be nice. “Jay had to go to work. Is there something I can help you with?”
“I know he left in the middle of the night.”
Alina tried not to read anything in her know-it-all tone, but she got the impression Heather wanted to tell her that she’d never keep him away from work and in her bed for long. Or maybe she was projecting her inner thoughts and doubts on Heather’s words.
“I thought Adam might like to help me feed the horses. I take care of things here when Jay is away.”
As in Alina had no business being here while Jay was at work.
“I’m sure Adam would love to help you. He can’t seem to get enough of the horses. He’ll work up a good appetite.” Evening closed in and she needed to get dinner prepped and cooking.
Heather tossed a lock of golden hair over her shoulder. “I’ll take care of dinner as soon as we’re done with the horses.”
As if Alina couldn’t handle either job. Well, she grew up on the family ranch feeding horses and cows at the crack of dawn. She’d shoveled her fair share of horse shit and she didn’t need any more from this woman about her abilities on the ranch or in the kitchen.
Heather snapped out, “There’s no Restaurant Run or Diner to Door around here.”
“Jay’s got some steaks in the freezer and a grill out back.”
Heather folded her arms at her chest. “And nothing much else in the house to eat. I’ll take care of dinner.”
“Jay’s been kind enough to allow me to stay here during this difficult time. I’d like to do my part.”
“You mean because someone tried to kill you.” Heather seemed to want to add herself to the list.
“Yes.”
“He’s got enough trouble in his life. He doesn’t need you adding more.”
Alina sighed. “It’s still not clear whether or not my accident had anything to do with someone associating me with Jay.”
“Why? How long have you two been seeing each other?”
She’d walked right into that one. No way in hell she discussed her relationship with Jay’s mother. For all the honesty she and Jay shared in bed both spoken by word and with their bodies, they still hadn’t figured out how to translate any of it into them day to day.
“Jay suspects that someone saw us together when he picked up Adam at my place. They may have assumed . . .”
“Yeah, well, it won’t last. None of them last once they discover he’s got another love that takes all his time.”
Alina had enough. “I’m not one of them. My brothers are DEA agents. I know the time, dedication, sacrifice, and heart it takes to do the job. If nothing else, I understand Jay in a way that none of them ever did, because I’ve seen firsthand the triumph they felt with the success of a big case and the devastation when things went wrong.”
Alina could only guess at the memories that clouded Heather’s eyes. Some from Jay’s work. Others from her husband working for the sheriff’s department. She wanted to project her experience and ultimate outcome on Alina. But it didn’t have to be that way. Alina didn’t have to resent Jay for doing his job. Jay could find a balance that worked for both of them. Right?
“I’ve known Jay for a time, but we’ve never really been friends. After what happened to me the other night, he was a very good friend. To me. And to my brothers for looking out for me while they’re away. I appreciate all he’s done to keep me and Adam safe. I understand you’re looking out for him. I am, too.”
She and Jay had been honest with each other. That’s the best she could do to set up their relationship on solid ground. It was a hell of a lot better than spending weeks flirting, dancing around each other, trying to figure the other one out without actually being direct and open because they were too busy guarding against rejection and hurt.
She and Jay had already acknowledged to each other the obstacles in their path, their reservations about this thing working, and decided they wanted to go forward because the feelings between them were too strong to ignore, the pull too forceful to fight.
Together, everything felt right. Apart, they only longed to be with each other.
She couldn’t explain it and didn’t want to even try just to appease Heather. All she wanted was a chance to see if she and Jay could build a lasting future. And that was between them, and no one else’s business.
“I’ll tell Adam you need his help. Dinner will be ready soon.” She walked past Heather to the open door.
“He needs someone willing to make him the priority, because his life will dominate theirs.”
She turned back and looked Heather in the eye. “We all need someone who lets us be us and accepts and understands and compromises when it’s necessary.”
“You’re too young to know it takes a hell of a lot more than that to keep a relationship together.”
Yeah, it takes a hell of a lot more than cheating on your husband to get his attention. She kept that nasty comment to herself. Arguing with Jay’s mom wouldn’t do her or him any good. She’d let her actions speak for themselves, because that’s what would show Heather and her and Jay that their relationship worked.
And work it would be with Heather’s disapproval and her brothers’ overprotective, overbearing interference.
Heather’s frown deepened. “Acceptance and understanding and compromise break down when the other person is never around.”
Yeah, that’s when relationships fell apart, or could be built up stronger when both people put the work in to keep it together. Because that’s the thing about relationships, you have to work on them. Sometimes it was just minor repairs. Other times a full-on rehab. If you let it all fall apart and rot away, sometimes there wasn’t enough left to salvage.
She’d learned that watching her parents and brothers and in her own relationships. Though she’d been focused on school, she’d attempted a couple relationships in the hopes of building a home when the other person wanted an apartment. She wanted something permanent. They’d wanted something they could get out of easily and move on to something newer and more their style.
Sucky analogy, but she didn’t want to be someone’s temporary place to crash. She wanted to be someone’s home.
Jay had built the house. He needed someone who wanted to stay and make it a home.
She wanted a chance to see if they both fit here without everyone else in their lives interfering.
“Heather, your argument is that this won’t work because I’m too young for him and he’ll never be around. It kind of makes him out to be the bad guy, and he’s not.”
“Of course not.”
“So if you want him to be happy, you might encourage the one woman he’s brought here to see what a good man he is and that doing his job doesn’t mean he cares less about me.” She’d have to remind herself of that as they moved forward. Especially on those nights he faced danger and she slept alone wondering if he’d come back to her.
Heather eyed her, one side of her mouth twitching. Maybe to hide a smile, or simply to not frown and cause lines. But then she surprised Alina with, “You might be all right.”
Alina gave Heather a nod that she’d take it and walked into the house. She may not have convinced Heather she was the right woman for Jay, but she’d gotten her to concede to back off and give Alina a chance.
Chapter Seventeen
Jay pulled into the drive after a long day of chasing down leads, trying to get forensics to hurry the hell up and print the note King gave him, and find one tiny speck of evidence of who hit Alina’s car. He came up empty on all counts. Frustrated and annoyed, even the drive home hadn’t eased his mind or the tension aching in his shoulders. But one look at his lit-up house and knowing Alina was inside waiting for him loosened all the knots and made it easier for him to, if not let go of, then at least push to the back burner what he didn’t get accomplished today.
Alina was still in danger. Maybe. And that maybe unsettled him.
Fear ate at his gut that something might happen to her. It fed his raging desire to find the bastards who hurt her and eliminate them.
He slipped from the SUV, checked the drive and distant property for any sign he’d been followed, spotted nothing, and made his way up the walkway.
Dave popped out from around the corner of the house and met him on the porch. “Everything’s quiet here. Your girl’s cooking up something that smells amazing. Your mom, on the other hand, is stirring up trouble. She doesn’t like your girl.”
Great. Just what he needed, his mother sticking her nose in his relationship. “What happened?”
“I didn’t hear all of it, but the gist seemed to be her age and your job add up to disaster so she should get the hell out now.”
Jay huffed out his frustration.
Dave slapped him on the shoulder. “For what it’s worth, you can have a life outside of the job. Caden and Beck do. I don’t see why you can’t work it out with their sister.”
Dave had promised to keep quiet about Jay and Alina until they made their relationship public. “Maybe we can, if they don’t kill me first.”
“She held her own against your mom. She’s taken over your kitchen and the barbecue. That’s a good sign.”
“I have her under guard at my house. It’s not like she can leave.” Something in Dave’s eyes alerted him to trouble. “What?”
“I, uh, took her to her place today to get her things.”
“You what? Anyone could have ambushed you there.” A rush of unwarranted panic shot through his system. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
“That I know what I’m doing.”
Jay couldn’t deny that. It’s why he’d handpicked Dave to protect Alina.
“I had the local cops sit on her place before we got there. If there’d been even a hint of a threat, I’d have aborted and brought her back here. Even you admit the car accident doesn’t scream cartel. They’d have shot her in the head and been done with it. Maybe you’re too close to this to see that.” Dave really meant he was too close to her to think objectively.
Probably.
Jay nodded, because Dave spoke the frustrating truth.
“I take it you have no new information.”
Jay sighed. “Absolutely, fucking nothing.”
Dave cocked his head toward the door. “Then go have dinner. Joey’s here for the night shift and walking the property. He’ll check in later. I’m out of here.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Dave waved a salute and headed to his car parked behind the barn.
Jay walked into the house and stopped short in the entry, inhaling the scent of a home-cooked meal. The dining table was set for four. The fridge closed in the kitchen a second before Alina stepped out holding a bottle of his favorite beer and looking tempting as sin, her hair falling in soft waves past her shoulders, a sultry smile on her lips and lighting up her eyes.
“Welcome home.”
He dropped his messenger bag at his feet, hooked his arm around her waist, pulled her body against his, and dove in for a kiss he needed like a heroin addict needs his next fix.
She tasted sweet and a little tart, like a good white wine. He dove in for more and found himself lost in memories of them tangled in the sheets and around each other. He wanted to drag her to his room and lay her out in his bed and spend the rest of the night feasting on her, but a buzzer went off in the kitchen reminding him she’d prepared dinner. For him. It touched him deeply and spawned a lifetime of dreams of him coming home to her just like this.
Adam was around here somewhere. They weren’t alone, but he wanted desperately to spend some quality one-on-one time with her.
He kissed her one last time, long and deep with a sultriness that he hoped left a mark on her and made her want everything he wanted later.
He reluctantly broke the kiss and stared down into her pretty blue-gray eyes and softly traced her bruised cheek with his thumb as his fingers slid into her silky hair. “How are you?” He dipped his gaze to the brace around her neck. She’d taken off the sling.
“I
’m fine. Much better actually.” Her eyes narrowed and studied his face. “How are you?”
He didn’t have the words to tell her what it did to him to come home and find her here waiting for him with a meal and her welcoming smile. “I’m much better, too.” Better than he’d been ten seconds ago. Better than he’d been in a long time.
“Is something wrong?”
“Everything is right.” That ambiguous answer only sparked confusion in her eyes. “I’m happy to see you. Though I can’t believe you talked Dave into going to your place when I told you to stay put.”
“Adam and I needed clothes.”
“I would have picked them up for you on my way home.”
“That’s completely out of your way. You left in the middle of the night and worked more than a full day, plus you spent hours on the phone and at your computer after dinner last night.”
“That’s the job.” He wanted that to be clear. His job wasn’t nine to five. It was all the time.
“I know.” She handed him the beer.
He took a long pull. She picked up his bag and set it beside the door to his office. He watched her, watching him. “What is it?”
“This is strange, right?” Her gaze slid from him to the set dining table, the kitchen beyond him, and down the hall toward the room they’d shared last night.
“I was actually enjoying coming home to a beautiful woman and a home-cooked meal. It’s been so long since I walked in the door to someone waiting for me, I can’t remember the last time it happened.”
“It’s not even a little weird having me here . . . living in your house?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but technically, you’re staying here, not living here. Maybe that makes you feel a bit better, but . . .” He didn’t know if he could, or should, say the rest. Not when this whole thing felt tenuous and new and yeah, scary.
She wrapped her arms around her middle. “But?”
The abrasions on her face, the brace around her neck, the bruises across her shoulder and chest he couldn’t see now but were burned into his memory, reminded him why she needed to stay at his place. “But I’m happy you’re here and safe.” True enough, but he’d copped out on admitting the real truth: he wanted her to stay. For how long, he didn’t know. He didn’t have a deadline for her to go. He simply wanted her to be here with him, so he could hold on to the comfort and joy he felt when he walked in the door and saw her standing there waiting for him.
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