Baby Love Lite

by ANDREA SMITH

  The velvet covered bottom was crooked. There was a small satin ribbon along the bottom edge of the oval shaped jewelry box. I grasped the looped ribbon and lifted it up there was a stack of handwritten papers underneath the false bottom.

  I pulled them out and looked at the cursive writing on the lined steno-pad paper. They were in order by date. It looked like someone had been keeping a diary in a steno pad and had torn these pages out.

  I sat down on the floor of the closet and started to read them.

  October 20, 1989

  Matthew convinced me to go to some high class cocktail party at the Hotel D’Iberville tonight. He said I might meet a rich bachelor. I should've known not to believe him!

  I met a very handsome young judge there. His name is Preston Tylar. He’s 28!! We talked and talked. I went to his room with him thinking we were just going to continue talking. How stupid I am! I drank champagne with him. I liked the way it tasted and the way it made me feel.

  I didn’t mind it when he kissed me at all! He was a very good kisser. He told me that he wanted to make love to me. I told him that I was a virgin and didn’t believe in casual sex. He laughed and said that I was playing my part very well - ???

  He kissed me all over and his hands got underneath my clothing. His lips and tongue went to places on my body I didn’t know existed!! He made me feel good but I knew it was wrong. I said no to him but before I knew it he'd pushed himself inside of me. It hurt like hell! When he finished, he kissed me all over my face and my neck and whispered how sweet I was. He saw the bloody sheets and then he looked at me and saw my tears. He pulled me into his arms and said he was sorry! He said he thought I was a prostitute!! I cussed him out good!!

  He drew me a bath and I soaked in it for a long while. He said he would get me home but I didn’t want to leave him for some reason. I was confused and ashamed to some degree because some of the stuff he'd done to me felt so good. I'm a horrible person!!

  I told him I wanted to cuddle all night but not to get any ideas about repeating his animalistic behavior with me! He did as I said. I fell asleep with his arms around me. During the night I woke up and I knew that I needed to feel the good part of him again. I rolled over and I kissed him on the lips. He woke up and was confused but then he started kissing me back. His lips moved all over me. He undid my robe and kissed my breasts.

  He went lower still and made love to me down there with his mouth and his tongue! I didn’t know a man could bring that kind of pleasure. My hands found him and touched him there. He called me his sweet Marley. I asked him if it would hurt like before. He said it probably wouldn't so I told him to go ahead with it. He asked if I was sure. I told him that I was.

  He told me that I needed to relax to let him in. He kissed my neck and my face.

  He whispered sweet things to me telling me how beautiful and perfect I was. He entered me slowly and gently and it didn’t hurt. He pulled me to him and told me to tell him if it hurt and he would stop.

  He went in and out of me and it felt wonderful. I told him that it felt good and that he pleasured me. A wonderful warm feeling was building up inside of me and I moaned because it was so intense.

  He asked me if I wanted him to stop. I begged him not to stop! He kept on and the feeling got stronger and stronger. I pulled him so very close and cried his name out. He moved faster and faster and then he cried my name out and kissed my lips as he emptied his seed into me.

  We curled back up and went to sleep making no mention of what we'd done. I asked him to drive me home in the morning. I was embarrassed to look at him after what I’d let him do to me and the way that I had liked it.

  He apologized again on the way home. He said that he wanted to see me again. He wanted to make sweet love to me. He told me that he was getting married and that he wished he could get out of it. My heart broke when I heard that! I asked him flat out if he was still going to get married after what we'd done together last night. He said that he had to but he still wanted to be with me. I told him I didn’t roll that way!

  October 25, 1989

  Preston Tylar has been sending me flowers every day! He calls on the phone nearly every day too! I cry at night in my bed thinking about how I let him ruin me! I don't take his calls even though Matthew wants me to.

  I hate Matthew for what I now know he is! I hate that my own sister hadn’t warned me about him and the kind of monster that he is. I know what he makes Maggie do! He won’t do that to me! I'll see him dead first!

  October 30, 1989

  Preston Tylar came to our house this evening! Matthew called me downstairs and told me to go into the parlor. He shut the door behind me! Preston came to me and hugged me tightly. He gave me his business card and said if I ever needed anything to call him. I could reach him at his office number. He gave me two beautiful blue velvet jewelry boxes. One had pearl earrings in it and the other one a pearl drop necklace. He said that they belonged to his grandmother and he wanted me to have them.

  I’m not sure why. He leaned down and kissed me ever so sweetly, pulling me against him tightly. I could even feel him get hard down there. He said he was getting married soon but that he would never forget me. He whispered "I love you sweet Marley into my ear. He left stopping on the way out to say something very quietly to Matthew that I couldn’t hear. He jabbed his finger into Matthew’s chest and then left. Whatever he'd said shook Matthew up good.

  I went upstairs and told Maggie about it. I collapsed across my bed and cried. Maggie was getting ready for one of her “dates.” She said the best way to get over one man was to get another one underneath you as soon as possible! I don’t ever want to have my heart broken again but I'll never be the way Maggie is! I guess I love Preston Tylar.

  December 3, 1989

  I took a home pregnancy test today. I’m pregnant with Preston’s child. I made the mistake of telling Maggie and of course she went straight to Matthew! Maggie wants me to tell Judge Tylar but I won’t do that. I won’t disrupt his life. I promise that I'll love this child with all of my hear t though! I hope boy or girl it’s as pretty as its daddy! Preston Tylar is so handsome!!

  July 1, 1990

  I saw in the paper today that Preston James Tylar was appointed as a federal judge in Baton Rouge. His picture was in the paper. He's so beautiful. His wife was standing next to him.

  July 14, 1990

  My beautiful baby girl was born today! She was born behind a veil which Miss Trinity says is a sign of good favor from the Lord! I'm so happy because I was afraid God would be angry about me having a bastard child. Miss Trinity gave me directions on how to preserve the caul. She said to keep it intact for good luck going forward. I want to go back to Mississippi. I hate Matthew. Maggie hates him too! I want out of New Orleans. Maggie and I are both tired of Matthew’s bossy ways.

  He's not crossed me at all since Preston said whatever he said to him that day we said good-bye. I don’t trust him though. He's way too shady. Maggie is afraid of him big-time.

  July 17, 1990

  I’m calling my baby Tylar Jamie Renaud. She's so very precious. I'm breast feeding her and she takes very well to it. She sleeps in bed with me. I don’t want Matthew near her! Maggie bought her some diapers. Matthew told me that I had to sign up for welfare benefits. I’m so ashamed…

  July 21, 1990

  I took Tylar to the doctor today. We got the medical card for her. Matthew made sure I signed up for food stamps also. The doctor says that she's a very healthy baby. I'm going to make sure that she stays that way! I’m getting out of here as soon as I can find a way to do it! Maggie says that Matthew will hunt us down and kill us if we try to leave. Let him try!

  That was the last paper in the stack of my mother’s notes. I felt the tears streaming down my face. My poor mother. Why had she been too proud to call my father? If she had, she'd be alive today, I was sure of it. I folded the notebook papers back up and put them in the top dresser drawer. I'd make copies of them in Trey’s office.


  I wanted my father to read them. I smiled as I recalled my father had left out one important part of the story: the part where my mom had awakened him during their only night together wanting more. Did he think my knowing that would somehow make me think less of her? Dad needed to understand how I rolled.

  I finished up cleaning out all of the closets before Jean was ready to leave. I paid her and said that I'd see her on Thursday. Preston was ready to eat so I got some of the pureed food out to see how she did with it. I'd made some banana mixed with rice cereal.

  She loved the taste of it, ready for more each time she took a spoonful. She even made the “Mmmm” sound. She finished a small jar and I cleaned her face up. Trey called while I was still nursing her. I grabbed my phone from the coffee table.

  “Hey you,” he said, “I miss you.”

  My butterflies swirled as I smiled into the phone. “I miss you too,” We'd spent a great week together under less than desirable circumstances. We always managed to get through it.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Just giving Preston a little ‘num-num’ before her afternoon nap. I’ve been cleaning out closets all morning.”

  “You didn’t get rid of any of my stuff did you?”

  “Of course not, honey,” I lied. I was beginning to see that Trey was a bit of a hoarder when it came to his clothes.

  “I found something pretty interesting in my closet?”

  “What? More of those damned sex toys that Gina bought for you?”

  “How'd you know they were in there?”

  He's obviously snooped in my closet!

  “What did you find?” he asked anxious to change the subject.

  “One of those blue velvet jewelry boxes had a false bottom I discovered when I knocked it over. There were diary notes in it that my mother had written.”

  “Really?” he asked, genuinely interested.

  “Yeah - it was kind of surreal reading them. They’re about when she and my father had their night together; about being pregnant and about me being born.”

  “I’d like to read them,” he said.

  “I want you to read them. Hey, have you ever heard about babies being born under a veil?”

  “That’s a new one to me,” he replied.

  “Well, apparently, I was according to my mother’s notes. At least, that’s what the mid-wife or witchdoctor told her at the time,” I chuckled. “I think I'll look it up online.”

  “Okay, baby. I'll see you this evening then. What’s for dinner?”

  “Turkey croquets,” I replied.

  “Tylar, next year can we please get a smaller turkey?”

  CHAPTER 39

  I'd scanned my mother’s handwritten notes and saved them as a .pdf file. I attached the file to an email and sent it to my father. I texted him that he had an email from me with an attachment that he needed to read. I asked him to call me after he'd read it.

  Our landline rang at 8:30 p.m. that evening. It was Dad.

  “Tylar,” he said his voice full of emotion, “where did you find those notes?”

  “There was a false bottom in one of those blue jewelry boxes you gave to Mom. I found it by accident the other day when I was cleaning my closet. I'd no idea those were in there. They look like pages she'd torn out of a notebook.”

  Perhaps this was her version of a diary. Maybe she'd wanted to hide those pages since they were rather explicit. Speaking of which -

  “Dad, it seems as if you left something out when you talked to me what happened the night you met my mother.”

  He cleared his throat clearly uncomfortable I'd brought it up.

  “Tylar,” he said with a heavy sigh, “I just didn’t want you to think your mother was anything but a sweet and innocent girl who I violated that night. It was my fault.”

  “I don’t think my mother felt violated for very long, Dad,” I smiled. “You had to find some comfort in that, right?”

  “I did,” he replied. “I also found comfort in the fact that she loved me. I'm in despair knowing this now and wondering why she wouldn’t have come to me for help and protection. It’s my fault she’s gone,” he said his voice breaking. “I’m the reason for everything bad that's ever happened to you, my darling daughter.”

  “Dad, please.” It was upsetting to me to hear his self-loathing.

  “I’m sorry, Tylar,” he said his composure having returned, “Is Trey home?”

  “Yes, he’s right here, why?”

  “I need to speak with him about something. Could you put him on?"

  What the hell could he tell Trey that he couldn’t tell me?

  “Trey,” I said taking the phone into the living room. “It’s Judge Tylar for you.”

  Trey gave me a strange look and took the phone, “Your Honor?”

  Trey was listening intently to everything my father was telling him. He gave an occasional nod with a spoken "I see" or "I agree." The conversation then shifted to something different.

  “That's perfectly fine with me, sir,” he said. “I'll make their flight arrangements. There's a matter of accommodating the baby though.”

  My father must've said something in response.

  “Yes, that's wonderful. I’ll have Tylar get back to you just as soon as the arrangements have been made. I'll tell her, sir. Good night.”

  I was glaring at Trey wanting him to spill the gist of the conversation.

  “Don’t give me the hateful look, Tylar. Your dad wanted to talk to me. He wants you and Preston to visit. Must be a kind of old-fashioned guy who still thinks the man rules the roost.”

  “Don’t worry. I'll set him straight about our roost when I’m down there, now what'd he say?”

  “He's certainly moved quickly on all of this. Search warrants are being served as we speak by federal authorities to search Matthew Renaud’s home, vehicles, phone records, confiscate his hard drive and any other software communication device in his possession or in his name. Along with that, a search is being done on the vehicle that Maggie had and ditched which was impounded to find any traces of Matthew’s involvement in Preston’s abduction.”

  “Why couldn’t Dad just tell me that?”

  “Honey, I think he also wanted to see if I had a real issue with parting with you and the baby for a few days to come and see him. It’s actually kind of sweet. When I asked him about accommodating the baby he said that he'd already had a room furnished as a nursery for her and his housekeeper would serve as a nanny at your whim.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Sweetheart, you do know that you father is a millionaire several times over right?”

  “Do federal judges make all that?” I asked surprised.

  “They make a nice living, baby, but your father’s wealth also comes from the estate of his deceased wife. She came from a very prominent family and was an only child so when her parents died, she inherited, big time.”

  Something bothered me about all this. I'd believed that my father had fallen in love with my mother. I also felt that the fact he'd told her he couldn't get out of his impending marriage pointed toward something else. I recalled her diary entry where a month or so before I was born he was appointed as a federal judge. I needed to understand the politics of this.

  “Trey, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure. Baby."

  “I just need to know something about how things work with appointments to federal judgeships, Supreme Court appointments that sort of thing?”

  “I’ll tell you what I know; the rest will be strictly my opinion on the matter.”

  “Did the fact my father was engaged to a woman who came from an extremely wealthy family help him get that appointment to the federal bench?”

  “It’s a little more complicated than that. Federal Judges are appointed by the President as openings occur. Unlike Supreme Court justices they don’t require approval by both parties. They're appointed for life. I guess my short answer is that, it's possible if your father’s wife�
�s family had a lot of political clout that might have served your father well in getting that appointment. It doesn’t mean that there were any payoffs or bribes. I would doubt that very much. His district isn’t one that would have key legislation crossing it.”

  "I'm looking forward to this trip to Baton Rouge." I needed to see how my father rolled.

  Trey got on the phone making arrangements for next week. Gina was due to move in this coming weekend and I needed to be here to help her get settled and referee any arguments that might ensue between her and Trey. It was as if Gina was psychic. My phone chimed right then and it was her.

  “Hey, Girlfriend,” I said when I answered.

  “Tylar, I'm so pissed!” she yelled into the phone.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked wondering what the hell was up.

  “Tristan and I just had our first fight and it was a fucking doozy!”

  “Is he down here?” I asked.

  “Of course not,” she snapped. “We had a fucking argument on the phone. He isn't ‘allowing’ me - did you catch the operative word there ‘allowing’?”

  “Yes,” I replied rolling my eyes, “Please finish.”

  “He isn't permitting me to rename my club ‘The Shady Lady’ just like I'd planned for months!”

  “Well, did he give you a reason, Gina?”

  “Yeah. He said it wasn’t fucking conducive to the type of atmosphere he was trying to portray with adding the dinner menu during the weeknights. I suppose he doesn’t think it’s classy enough.”

  "Can't you two come to a compromise?"

  “Compromise? Compromise? He's so freaking bull-headed, Ty! He must have some of that Hot Nazi shit running through his bloodline!”

  “How did you leave it between you two?”

  “He said we'd discuss it when he’s back next week. Then - and listen to this girlfriend - he says ‘end of conversation, Gina’.”