Innocent Wife, Baby of Shame

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  She hadn’t quite made the journey to the pinnacle of pleasure when she felt him lose control, his body pumping hard for a moment or two as his low and deep groan of release came out on a whoosh of warm breath that caressed her neck.

  It was one of those moments Keira would have liked a little more time to prepare for. She had never known him to take his pleasure without ensuring her own first. She couldn’t quite make up her mind if he had done it deliberately to imply she was nothing but a vessel for him to assuage his physical needs, or if he had genuinely lost control. She hoped it was the latter. Somehow that would make it easier to cope with.

  ‘I am sorry,’ he said, stepping back from her, his expression shuttered. ‘That was not meant to happen.’

  She lowered her eyes as she tried to cover herself, her emotions see-sawing all over again. ‘It’s all right…It was my fault just as much as yours…’

  ‘Nevertheless I should not have allowed things to go that far,’ he said as he rearranged his own clothing. ‘I did not intend to make our reconciliation a physical one. This is not the way things are supposed to be between us. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, that’s all.’

  ‘I understand,’ she said and turned for the bathroom rather than meet his eyes. ‘I need to have a shower,’ she added, her offhand tone belying the true state of her emotions. ‘I’ll try not to be too long.’

  Patrizio raked a hand through his hair as he watched her leave, his skin still tingling from the contact with hers, the scent of her filling his nostrils until he felt as if he were breathing the very essence of her into his soul.

  CHAPTER NINE

  PATRIZIO was waiting for her as she came downstairs a short time later. She took each stair with deliberate care, frightened that she would take a tumble as that dark brooding gaze followed her progress.

  ‘Keira,’ he said, ‘I think we need to talk through some things for a moment before we spend the evening in the boys’ company.’

  Keira pressed her lips together, not sure she wanted a postmortem on what had happened earlier, so she disguised her feelings behind sarcasm. ‘It wasn’t a big deal, Patrizio,’ she said. ‘So you were a little trigger-happy. Maybe you need to sort that little problem out with your mistress. It’s really nothing to do with me.’

  ‘Damn it! It’s everything to do with you!’ he said. ‘I do not know how to deal with you. One minute you are sobbing like a child in my arms, the next you are practically begging me to make love to you. I am at a loss to know which woman I am living with.’

  Her eyes glittered as they met his. ‘You’re pretty good at sending out mixed messages yourself,’ she threw back. ‘I thought this was supposed to be a hands-off arrangement and here it is, day three, and you’ve had me up against the—’

  ‘Do not make me sound like an animal.’ He cut her off coldly, his jaw visibly tightening. ‘You were with me all the way and you damn well know it.’

  She gave him a little arch look. ‘Not quite all the way,’ she reminded him. ‘You’ve certainly lost your touch, Patrizio.’

  He ground his teeth and snatched up his keys from the hall table. ‘You are nothing but a cheap little slut. I will be glad when this farce is over with. If it wasn’t for the boys I would have been glad never to have seen or spoken to you again.’

  ‘You and me too, baby,’ she responded tartly.

  He led the way to the car, his expression rigid with anger and his coal-black eyes flashing with wrath every time they clashed with hers.

  They were well on their way to the boys’ school when he finally broke the stiff silence. ‘I hope I do not have to remind you of the importance of keeping our private feelings to ourselves. Jamie and Bruno are intelligent young men who will not be convinced of our reconciliation if we are shooting blistering looks at each other all evening.’

  ‘You don’t have to remind me,’ she said. ‘But it might help if you stop looking at me as if I’ve just recently crawled out from beneath a rock.’

  His mouth twisted scathingly as he briefly met her gaze. ‘I was thinking more along the lines of you recently crawling out of bed, but of course it’s anyone’s guess whose it might have been.’

  She tightened her mouth. ‘You’re a two-faced bastard,’ she said. ‘You get quite a kick out of throwing all those stones from that glass house of yours, don’t you?’

  ‘I have had several lovers since we broke up,’ he countered. ‘I have not denied it.’

  ‘And yet you think I’m a tramp for doing the same,’ she said. ‘That’s totally sexist.’

  ‘Just how many lovers have you had?’ he asked as he parked the car in the staff car park.

  Keira frowned as she recalled her previous statement. She had made it sound as if she’d been flitting from lover to lover when nothing could have been further from the truth.

  ‘Having trouble recalling all their faces and names?’ he asked when she didn’t answer immediately.

  ‘Patrizio, I…’ she began, but just then she caught sight of her brother heading down the boarding house stairs with the housemaster, Mr Cartwright, and Bruno, Patrizio’s nephew, lagging a few steps behind.

  Patrizio sent her a warning look and got out of the car, shaking Mr Cartwright’s hand before greeting both of the boys.

  Keira hugged her brother, who patted her on the shoulder rather than fully return her embrace, but she could see the delight in his eyes.

  She turned to the surly-looking boy standing near Patrizio and offered her hand. ‘Hi, Bruno,’ she said. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Fine,’ he mumbled, barely touching her hand before shoving it back in his trouser pocket.

  ‘Enjoy your evening,’ Kent Cartwright addressed Keira and Patrizio and, turning to the boys, added soberly, ‘Remember what we discussed earlier, gentlemen. If this problem is not sorted out, Mr Tinson will follow through on his threat to expel you both.’

  ‘But that’s not fair!’ Jamie said, glaring at Bruno. ‘He started it.’

  Bruno’s lip curled insolently. ‘You started it by defending the behaviour of a common little sl—’

  Patrizio cut him off with a curt command in Italian, before turning to the housemaster. ‘My wife and I will sort this out, Mr Cartwright,’ he said. ‘We will have the boys back by ten p.m.’

  Keira felt her skin tighten with shame at the searing glance Bruno sent her when Patrizio wasn’t looking. She felt her face grow hot and her stomach began to churn as they got into the car. She didn’t know how she was going to get through the evening; her emotions already felt scraped raw and they hadn’t even left the school grounds.

  ‘Anyway, I bet this is all an act,’ Bruno said from the back seat once they were on their way.

  ‘What do you mean by that, Bruno?’ Patrizio asked, sending him a questioning glance in the rear-view mirror.

  ‘You’re not really back together,’ he said sulkily.

  ‘That is not true,’ Patrizio said, reaching for Keira’s hand and placing it on his thigh. ‘We are very much together, aren’t we, cara?’

  Keira moistened the arid surface of her lips. ‘Yes…’ she said. ‘Very much so.’

  Bruno’s tone was full of contempt. ‘You said you’d never take her back, not after what she did. I wouldn’t either. She’s a filthy little—’

  ‘Shut up, you idiot,’ Jamie said.

  Keira felt close to tears. ‘Please, boys…don’t do this…’

  Patrizio glanced at her and, with a muttered curse, turned the car into the kerb. He took her into his arms and held her close. ‘It is all right, tesoro mio,’ he said, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. ‘You are not to take any notice of my nephew. He does not yet realise the depth of our love.’

  She gave him a tremulous smile and took the handkerchief he offered, wishing with all her heart that he wasn’t acting. ‘I’m sorry…’

  ‘No, you are not the one who should be apologising,’ he said and, turning to his nephew, commanded, ‘Bruno, you will apologise
for insulting your aunt.’

  ‘She’s not my aunt,’ Bruno said with another scowl.

  ‘She is married to me and therefore is considered to be so,’ Patrizio said.

  ‘Yeah, well, how long is your marriage going to last?’ Bruno said with another curl of his lip. ‘You hardly made it to the first anniversary before she was—’

  Patrizio let fly with a string of Italian that made Bruno clamp his lips together, but the look he sent Keira was still full of contempt.

  The restaurant was thankfully close by, which meant the tension in the car lessened slightly with the change of scene.

  Jamie came to Keira’s side as they were led to their table, his expression concerned. ‘Are you OK?’

  She gave him a reassuring smile. ‘I’m fine, Jamie. It’s just all been a bit of an emotional roller coaster…you know…getting back together and all. I never thought it would happen.’

  ‘Yeah, well, neither did I,’ he said. ‘But thank God it has. I’ve been so worried about you. Everyone has.’

  Everyone apart from Patrizio, Keira thought. He would have been happier never to set eyes on her again but here he was, acting as if she were the love of his life.

  ‘Cara, come and sit by me,’ Patrizio said, taking her hand and leading her to the chair next to his.

  Keira sat down and buried her head in the menu rather than meet the surly dark brown gaze of Patrizio’s nephew across the table.

  The meal was more of an ordeal than she could have ever imagined. The boys were like two snarling dogs circling each other, waiting to see who would lash out first.

  It didn’t help having Patrizio sitting so close to her that she could feel every contraction of his thigh muscles when he moved. Her belly quivered at the thought of how his body had felt inside her just an hour ago, her body still clamouring for the release she had not been able to achieve in that moment of madness.

  She sucked in a breath when Patrizio ran his hand up her thigh beneath the table, his fingers so close to where she still pulsed and ached for him that she was sure he would be able to feel it.

  ‘You are not eating, cara,’ he said with a glint in his eyes. ‘Or is it something else you are craving, mmm?’

  ‘Oh, please,’ Bruno groaned theatrically. ‘You’re turning me off my food.’

  Patrizio eyeballed his nephew. ‘You are nearly eighteen years old, Bruno. You are surely adult enough to understand how intimate relationships work. Keira and I have been separated for two months. It is to be expected that we will want to spend every moment together we can.’

  ‘Well, don’t let us keep you,’ Jamie said affably. ‘Unlike some people, I think it’s great you’ve finally sorted things out. Keira has been miserable the whole time you’ve been apart, haven’t you, Keira?’

  ‘Yes…yes, I have,’ Keira answered. ‘Absolutely miserable.’

  ‘Serves her right,’ Bruno put in with another look of contempt.

  Keira decided to stand up for herself and fixed him with a level stare. ‘I hope that you get through life, Bruno, without making any mistakes you will later regret, but the reality is you probably won’t. I made a stupid error of judgement and I’ve been paying for it ever since. I know it’s hard for you to understand and in a way I can’t help admiring you for being so loyal to your uncle, but I truly am sorry. I…I love your uncle…I have never stopped loving him.’

  ‘Funny way of showing it, having it off with some other guy,’ Bruno muttered darkly.

  Patrizio leaned forward but Keira put a restraining hand on his arm. ‘No, darling,’ she said. ‘Let me deal with this. I am to blame for what happened and I need to take responsibility for it.’

  ‘I do not want to see you upset,’ Patrizio said. ‘You have not been well lately. You have suffered enough.’

  Oh, how I wish you really meant those tender words, Keira thought in anguish as his fingers curled around hers.

  She turned back to Bruno, her hand still enclosed in the strength and warmth of Patrizio’s. ‘Bruno, I’m not expecting you to forgive me for what I did, but I am asking you to please keep Jamie out of it. Any animosity you feel should be directed towards me, not him.’

  ‘He thinks you’re innocent,’ Bruno said with a disdainful glance in Jamie’s direction.

  ‘She is innocent,’ Jamie said. ‘If she says she can’t remember what happened that’s because nothing happened. It’s her word against Garth Merrick’s—for all you know, he could be lying.’

  If only I were innocent, Keira thought. ‘Well, I’m not innocent,’ she said on the tail-end of a sigh. ‘I acted impulsively and wrecked several lives in the process.’

  Patrizio gave her hand a gentle squeeze. ‘You are forgiven, cara, I have told you this many times,’ he said. ‘Let us not waste time on rehashing the past when we have our whole future to look forward to.’

  Bruno rolled his eyes. ‘I still think it’s all an act to get us through the last weeks of school. I bet in six weeks’ time you’ll be at each other’s throats again.’

  ‘In six weeks’ time Keira and I will be going on a second honeymoon,’ Patrizio said.

  Keira only just managed to control her shock in time. She stretched her mouth into a blissful smile. ‘That’s right,’ she said. ‘I can’t leave until my exhibition opens but after that we’re going away together.’

  ‘Where are you going?’ Jamie asked.

  ‘Um…’

  ‘Paris,’ Patrizio said. ‘It is Keira’s favourite city, isn’t it, cara?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, returning his smile even though it made her jaw ache. ‘We had such a wonderful week there when we were first married.’

  Jamie glanced at his watch and diplomatically cleared his throat. ‘I hate to break things up here, but we’d better get cracking,’ he said. ‘I have a couple of mock exam papers to read through before lights out.’

  Keira inwardly sighed as Patrizio signalled for the bill. Their act in front of the boys was coming to an end but that didn’t mean the night was over.

  Not by a long shot.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘HOW do you think that went?’ Patrizio asked as they were driving back to South Yarra after returning the boys to the boarding house.

  Keira sank her teeth into her bottom lip. ‘I think Jamie believes it because he wants to,’ she said. ‘But your nephew is another story entirely.’

  ‘Yes, I agree,’ he said, frowning slightly as he braked at the traffic lights. ‘I am not sure how to convince him.’

  ‘Yeah, well, the second honeymoon in Paris was a stroke of genius,’ she said with a hint of sarcasm. ‘I certainly hope you didn’t mean it.’

  There was a pulsing silence, broken only by the sound of his fingers drumming on the steering wheel.

  Keira swung her gaze to look at him. ‘You didn’t mean it…did you?’

  His dark eyes met hers. ‘I have been thinking about the time frame on our reconciliation.’

  Keira felt her heart give a little jerky jump in her chest. ‘You’re not thinking of extending it, are you?’

  He turned back to the lights. ‘No, but I am concerned about what happens after the exams.’

  She moistened her suddenly dry lips. ‘What do you mean?’

  His gaze was fixed on the road ahead. ‘There will be speech night and the leavers’ dinner, big events that will be rather spoilt for the boys if we go ahead with our divorce as planned.’

  ‘So…so what are you suggesting?’

  ‘I am suggesting that we might have to be a little flexible on the length of our reconciliation,’ he said. ‘It will not hurt, a week or two either way.’

  She gaped at him in alarm. ‘What do you mean, it wouldn’t hurt?’ she asked incredulously. ‘It would hurt a lot!’

  ‘As usual, you are making a drama out of something that is really quite simple, Keira.’

  ‘It might appear simple to you, but it certainly doesn’t to me,’ she said. ‘I hated every minute of acting out a lie i
n front of the boys. In fact I even hated acting in front of Marietta over the past couple of days. I can’t help thinking she suspects something. I can’t imagine maintaining this pretence for the next six days, let alone six weeks.’

  ‘You will have to do it if I say so,’ he said with an intractable edge to his tone.

  Keira stiffened in her seat. ‘Are you threatening me?’

  ‘I am merely telling you that our mock reconciliation will be run by my rules and my rules only,’ he said.

  ‘You can stick your stupid rules,’ she clipped out. ‘I am not going to be bossed around by you.’

  ‘You will have to do what I say this time around, Keira, otherwise you will find yourself in an untenable situation.’

  She tossed her head, sending her wild curls bouncing. ‘I’m not even going to ask what you mean by that,’ she said. ‘I really couldn’t care less.’

  ‘That is because you are still intent on being a petulant child instead of a fully grown adult,’ he said. ‘I had no idea when I married you how immature you really are.’

  Keira felt stung by his criticism, even though she knew there was a lot of truth in what he had said. Their whirlwind courtship and marriage had not given her enough time to get to know and understand the stresses Patrizio had to deal with in terms of his life as a high profile businessman. She had resented almost from the start the way his work cut into her time with him, arguing with him and taking it far too personally when he was late or had to cancel a dinner date at the last minute. He had been patient with her at first, obviously trying to see things from her point of view, but in those last couple of weeks before the night of her leaving him she had felt his patience wearing thin. They had argued more than usual over silly little inconsequential things and many a time Keira had stormed out, threatening never to come back, never realising at the time that she would eventually do just that with such heart-wrenchingly devastating consequences.

  The car purred into the driveway of his mansion and Patrizio killed the engine and swivelled in his seat to look at her. ‘I think you should know that your parents came to me some months ago while we were still together. They were having trouble meeting their financial commitments.’