by Sher Dillard
A sadness filled me. But, also a determination. I wasn’t letting her go that easily. Sometime, somewhere. No, this was going to take special action.
.o0o.
Sadie
I swear, he was everywhere. I couldn’t turn around without him being in the general vicinity. Each time my stomach would turn flips, back and forth, then churn at high speed.
The man just stood out. Taller, better looking, wide shoulders and narrow hips. The kind of man that drew a woman’s attention.
Believe me. I wasn’t the only one aware of his presence. More than one girl would be checking him out. Some of them weren’t so sly about it either. Another reminder of just how much of a fool I had been. The man must think I was a groupie. A stalker who couldn’t keep her legs shut.
Once I saw him outside my English lit class waiting for someone. My mind froze as I backed out of there. The last thing I wanted was to see him talking to some girl.
Every waking moment and half the night I had this recurring nightmare of bumping into him in the hall. He’d look down at me and slowly shake his head before brushing past me as if I was an afterthought.
When my classes ended I would scurry home, praying I got there without seeing him.
Of course, every time I did see him, my heart would flutter, and I would be reminded of how he made me feel. How his kisses took me to another world. How his arms wrapped around me made this world feel safe and secure. As if nothing could ever go wrong. Not as long as Jake Dawson held me.
Then I would remember that I would never have that feeling again and my soul would plummet to the deepest abyss.
And then, I didn’t see him. It was as if he had disappeared off the face of the earth. I had trained myself to be on the lookout. But now, he was gone. Days went by without Jake anywhere.
Was he okay? Was my first thought. Or had he been so disturbed by my stalking that he had left college? Surprisingly, the thought made me feel even worse. While it was bad enough knowing that I might run into him at any time. The thought of never seeing him again sent a bolt of pure misery straight to my heart.
“Get a grip, Sadie,” I said to myself. He is only a man. There will be others. But deep down, I knew they would never be enough.
When I came into our room I slumped against the door and sighed.
Jeanie looked up from her book and frowned. She had been doing that a lot lately. She would frown at me and slowly shake her head. As if I had a terminal disease or something.
I took a deep breath and pushed myself off away from the door as I tried to figure out what had become of Jake Dawson.
Chapter Six
Sadie
I changed into shorts and a T-shirt. It was going to be a Top-Ramen night. Jeanie and I were staying in and catching up on our homework. I was pretty sure Jeanie was doing it because she was afraid to leave me alone. Afraid I’d end up in the corner crying my eyes out.
Like I’ve said, she was definitely good friend material.
I’d barely gotten settled on my bed, legs folded under me, my Western Civ book open, when a sharp knock at the door made me jump.
Jeanie looked over at me as if asking if I was expecting anyone. I shook my head. It could be any one of our sorority sisters or it could be a serial killer for all I knew. More likely one of our sisters needing to borrow an eyelash curler or something ridiculous like that.
She reluctantly got up to answer the door. It was her turn. When she pulled it open, the space was empty. A cardboard box had been left just outside our door. Jeanie stuck her head out and looked both ways. Then glanced back at me and shook her head.
I shrugged. This was college, it could be anything.
She picked it up and shook it gently. “It’s to light to be a severed head.” Holding it up to her ear she again shook her head. “Nothing ticking.”
I laughed. “Open it.”
Jeanie studied the box then pursed her lips and shook her head. “I can’t. It’s addressed to you.”
She twisted the box to show me my name written in large letters across the top. Someone had wanted to make sure I was the one to open it. I gently took the box from her hands and frowned. It wasn’t from Mom or Dad. They would have put a shipping label on it. Besides, Dad’s handwriting was indecipherable. And Mom’s was neat, always in blue pen. This was large, strong and in black marker.
Bringing it up to my nose, I sniffed. Nope, just dry cardboard. I turned it over, examining it. Two feet square. The box was sealed by shipping tape. That plastic stuff that is stronger than an elephant on steroids.
“Will you open it already,” Jeanie said with her hands on her hips. The girl hated suspense.
I smiled to myself as I gently shook it again. Slowly drawing out the tension.
“Ahhhh,” she yelled.
“Okay, Okay. But who would be leaving boxes outside the door?
She frowned heavily. “If you would open it, we would find out.”
Setting the box on the floor, I used my nail to slit the tape and pulled the top open. The box was stuffed with fluffy gray tissue paper.
Who uses gray paper to wrap presents? I wondered as I slowly moved it aside.
Inside, at the bottom, a stuffed animal. A middle sized one. Not a giant like you win at the county fair. Not a small bean bag type either. Just an ordinary toy. Okay, now I was very confused. Pulling the paper out of the way, I lifted it up out of the box.
My stomach fell. Oh no.
“What?” Jeanie demanded, obviously keying in on my expression.
“It’s a wolf,” I said as I stared down at it, unable to believe what I was seeing. A gray wolf. A cute, adorable wolf. A combination of fierceness about its eyes with a hint of happiness in the set of its mouth.
“So?” she said with an exasperation in her tone that let me know I had better explain quickly or she was going to lose it.
I sighed heavily as my heart began to race. “It’s from Jake Dawson.” I knew it without any return address on the box. I looked down at the animal in my arms and had to smile. It would always remind me of him. In fact, I knew that after enough time had gone by I would name it Jake.
“How do you know?” she asked with a furrowed brow. “And why a wolf. I mean it’s cute. But I can think of cuter animals than a wolf.”
“That night, he mentioned that every woman secretly wants a wolf in her life.”
Jeanie laughed. “The man isn’t wrong.”
“But why send it to me?” I asked. None of it made any sense.
Jeanine pushed me aside and reached into the box, retrieving a small envelope. “Most gifts come with a note,” she said, handing over the envelope.
I tucked the wolf under my arm and took the note. I couldn’t dare think of setting the stuffed animal aside. Instead, I used an elbow to hold it in place while I opened the envelope and removed the card.
My heart raced as I turned it and read the one word.
Dinner?
I frowned. Why?
“Here,” Jeanie said as she turned the note, so she could read it. “Oh, the man is good. Intriguing, yet straight to the point.”
“What am I going to do?” I asked with that little whiney girl voice that I hate.
Jeanie looked back at me like I’d just landed from a distant planet. “What do you mean? You are going to go to dinner with Jake Dawson. What a silly question.”
My stomach fell to the ground at the thought of sitting across the table from him. Knowing what we had done. Knowing that I’d been so aggressive. That wasn’t me. He would be disappointed when he found out the true me. And once again I would be crushed.
“You don’t understand, I can’t”
She continued to frown at me and started to tell me how stupid I was being when another knock at the door interrupted her. She paused and raised an eyebrow.
“What could it be this time, a Red Riding Hood doll?” She asked as she went to the door.
Only this time. It wasn’t a box. It was Jake Dawson hi
mself. Dressed in a sports coat, a buttoned-down shirt, open at the collar and a bouquet of daisies in his hand. My heart jumped into overdrive. The man was gorgeous. Just eat your heart out delectable.
He smiled at Jeanie and gave her a quick nod, then looked over her shoulder and caught my eyes with his.
“How’d you get up here?” Jeanie asked with a deep frown.
“A combination of stealth and bribery,” he told her without taking his eyes off me.
She continued to frown. All the while my stomach tumbled over itself. He smiled that knee-melting smile of his and said, “I realized that you don’t have a way to answer my question about dinner. So, I thought I’d stop by and get it in person.”
I froze. A solid block of rock. My mind whirled. I didn’t understand. Why was he doing this? Was he worried about me telling people he had taken advantage of me? Ravished an innocent virgin.
“Oh, these are for you,” he said as he stepped into the room and handed me the bouquet of flowers.
Somehow, I was able to take them from him. But my eyes never left his as I tried to fathom what was happening.
“Yes,” Jeanie said when I forgot how to talk. “Yes, she will go to dinner with you. And she thanks you for the flowers. Or at least she will.”
Her curt glance broke me out of the spell. “Yes, thank you,” I said to him as I caught a whiff of fresh flowers.
“Where are you taking her,” Jeanie asked, again saving me from my stupor.
Jake continued to look at me, his eyes trapping me in place like a frightened rabbit. “I was thinking of Georgina’s over on Sixth Street?” He said with a questioning tone, as if not really sure I had accepted.
“Oh, that is nice. Italian food is so romantic.” Jeanie said as she glanced at me again and shook her head. Obviously, I was failing miserably.
I took a breath, but nothing came out. I swear I had forgotten how to talk. Or more accurately, my brain had forgotten how to form words.
Jake looked at me, his brow narrowing in doubt. “Is that a yes?” he asked me.
Still, I lacked the ability to speak. Instead, I did the only thing I could do considering the situation. I slowly nodded. His face lit up with a large smile that made my legs wobble. Our eyes locked and we were lost in our own separate world for a moment.
Jeanie looked at him, then me, then back at him. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Out,” she told him as she started to push him to the door. “Come back in an hour.”
He sighed heavily then smiled again as if he’d just been granted a reprieve from the hangman’s noose. “An hour. Yes, I can come back in an hour.”
Jeanie continued to shake her head until she had him outside and the door shut. Turning, she studied me for a long moment as she frowned while biting her lip.
“What?” I asked, finally remembering how to talk.
She sighed heavily. “We have an hour to make you sexy yet stylish enough for Georgina’s. This isn’t some pizza parlor.”
“Listen Jeanie …”
“Shower,” she said, pointing to the bathroom. “We don’t have time for discussion. I’ll start assembling possible outfits while you get ready. And don’t forget to shave the important parts.”
I swallowed hard as I felt myself blush. This was so not ending up with Jake and I sleeping together. No, this was just him wanting some closure. He probably felt guilty and thought that by taking me out it would make it all right.
Who knew with boys? They thought in strange ways sometimes. Saw the world from a different perspective.
The next hour was a mad rush as I tried on a dozen different outfits but not before I put his flowers in a tall glass on my bedside table. Besides the outfits, I tried different hairstyles. Up, middle-up, down. Finally, I settled on the down. It was the way I wore the night we met.
After the last effort with the dresses, my favorite tartan skirt, Jeanie slowly shook her head. “No, it says college chick, not a sexy woman. No, we don’t have a choice. It is a bit of a cliché but I think we are going to have to go with my little black dress.”
My heart jumped, Jeanie did realize how important this was.
When I slipped it on, I felt as if I was putting on a silky piece of armor. In that dress, I could take on any man.
“Here,” she said as she handed me my black heels.
Jeanie stepped back and examined me with a large smile. “The poor bastard. He’s never going to stand a chance.”
My heart swelled with the first hint of hope. Was she right? Did I have a chance of making Jake like me? Or was this just another chance for him to take me to bed.
And if so, would that be so bad? I wondered. No, I couldn’t do that. Hop into his bed any time he beckoned. Of course, I couldn’t blame him for thinking that ways since that is exactly what I had done the first time. Well, to be honest, I had done the beckoning.
A sharp knock at the door had us both jumping. Jeanie held up a hand, silently telling me to calm myself. Then she ran around frantically gathering up all the dresses, bras and panties strewn throughout the room. Once they were stuffed out of the way, she opened the door.
Jake filled up the doorway. His broad shoulder taking up half the space in the world. In his hands, a box of chocolates. I couldn’t help but smile. The boy was pulling out all the cheesy stops and I loved him for it.
He wasn’t afraid of looking uncool. No, not Jake Dawson, the man didn’t know the meaning of uncool.
His eyes slowly traveled over me as he examined every curve. I was reminded of our time together when I stood before him naked and he had looked at me. Why did I feel more nervous now?
“Here, I’ll take those,” Jeanie said as she pulled the chocolate box from his hands. “Payment, for letting you borrow my dress,” she said to me with a smile.
Jake smiled back and said, “Jeanie, you are a genius. I will get you a case if you let her keep that dress.”
I smiled as my insides curled up. He liked what he saw.
“Shall we?” he asked as he held out an arm.
Swallowing hard, I glanced at Jeanie, silently thanking her. As I walked past, she leaned in to whisper. “Don’t forget to speak occasionally. Let him know you have half a brain.” She then whispered even quieter. “I’ll be gone for the night if you want the place to yourselves.”
I tried not to gulp as I fought not to think that far in advance. Right now, I was concentrating on making it to dinner without blurting out a thousand questions.
As I slipped my arm into his. He smiled down at me. Okay, two thousand questions. I could live on that smile for weeks.
Chapter Seven
Jake
She was gorgeous in the gut-wrenching way that made a guy rethink every aspect of what he knew. The dress highlighted her curves perfectly. Her hair fell in silky waves down her back. Her lavender perfume pulled at me. The soft click of her heels, the way she kept glancing up at me with those large doe eyes of hers and my heart was lost.
The woman was too sexy. I know, I had never thought that possible. But, I hated the idea of any other guy seeing her. A possessive passion had taken up permanent residence in the bottom of my gut. I know I wasn’t supposed to feel that way. Believe me, I had attended enough sexual harassment lectures. But that didn’t change the fact that I would kill anyone who tried to hurt this woman.
As we walked down the stairs an awkward silence hung in the air. It was like I was in high school all over again. That prickly tension where both of us were too nervous to even speak.
Why? I wondered. What was it about this woman that made me feel like a gawky teenager. A stage I had put behind myself a long time ago.
This is too important I realized. That was why I was nervous. If I said the wrong thing I might lose her before I ever had a chance. And with the way I felt, that could not be allowed to happen. No, I told myself. Everything must go perfectly.
When we stepped out of the house we were greeted with a brisk autumn breeze. The air was filled with
the scent of pine, pumpkin spice, and a hint of approaching winter.
Sadie shivered. My heart jumped. Was she having second thoughts? Then the goosebumps on her arm let me know she was probably freezing. That dress didn’t offer a lot of protection from the elements.
“Here,” I said as I draped my sports coat over her shoulders.
She looked up at me with a thankful smile, making me feel like I had just conquered a hoard of barbarians. I swear I could have moved half a mountain at that very moment if she but asked.
.o0o.
Sadie
Of course, the man was gallant, I thought as I tugged his jacket tight around my shoulders. When he wasn’t looking, I pulled it up to take in a deep breath, savoring that delicious smell of leather and sandalwood.
The night was brisk with a hint of coming winter as we walked towards the restaurant. Why had he asked me out? He’d already had what guys wanted. Sex without demands or questions. Why hadn’t he moved on to any of the other dozen girls waiting in line?
No, don’t do that, I told myself. Just enjoy the evening. You are with a strong, handsome, intelligent, kind man. A man who was also gallant, I reminded myself. Enjoy it. I knew it wasn’t forever. Just dinner. I would deal with the sense of loss tomorrow. Tonight, I would just enjoy myself.
As we walked, my churning stomach fought with my fluttering heart. Jake smiled down at me and my very core caught fire. Oh, this was going to be a long night if he kept smiling at me that way.
When we reached the corner, he took my hand to help me across a rough patch of street. My heart jumped as I mentally checked if my hands were sweaty. Obviously, they weren’t too bad because he didn’t let go when we got to the other side.
Okay, fluttering heart was winning.
When we got to the restaurant, I reluctantly slipped off his jacket and gave it back. All the while, it felt like I was giving away a treasured possession.
He nodded his thanks as he slipped it on then pulled the door open for me. His hand gently rested on the small of my back as we stepped in. I had to close my eyes for a second as I felt the electricity from his touch travel through my entire body.