A Is for Abstinence

by Kelly Oram

  Her tone was angry, accusing, and it hurt my feelings as much as it pissed me off. “Oh, and like dating you is going to be a picnic?”

  Val flinched, so I tried to pull back my temper. “I want to have sex with you,” I admitted. “More than anything.” At her surprise, I held my hands out and shrugged helplessly. “I want to take you into your bedroom right now and do things to your body that will have you screaming my name in ecstasy. I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life. I hate that I can’t touch you. I hate it.”

  Val pulled her hands free and took a step back—a step away from me. “But…” Her eyes fell to the bracelet on my wrist. “You’re already abstaining. You gave up sex on your own.”

  “I gave up casual sex,” I clarified. “I gave up sex with strangers. I’ve abstained because I haven’t had anyone I really cared about. I don’t want making love to be meaningless anymore. But if I’m in a committed relationship, that changes things.”

  She looked stunned.

  “I’m sorry, Val, but I happen to think sexual intimacy is a vital part of a relationship. I can admit now that sex is special and that you should wait until you care about someone to be with them, but I will never understand why you have to have a marriage stamp on it first. I’ll definitely never agree with it. I still think you’re making a stupid choice. Waiting for marriage is pointless.”

  Val’s eyes filled with tears. I didn’t want to hurt her, but she needed to know how I felt. I had to be honest. I was going to struggle with this, and she needed to know that.

  “Then what are you doing here?” she asked. “If you hate it so much and you think I’m being an idiot, then why come back? Why ask me to be in a relationship?”

  That was the question of the hour, wasn’t it? “Because you’re worth it.”

  I stepped toward her again, and when she tried to back up I kept moving closer until I had her backed against a wall. She turned her head away, but I pulled her chin up and forced her to look into my eyes. If there was ever one thing I wanted her to understand, ever one thing I needed her to believe, it was this.

  “I’m willing to make the sacrifice because I think you’re worth it. I’m not going to like everything about you, and you’re not going to like everything about me, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make this work.”

  Val shut her eyes against more tears. As much as I hated that I was the cause of her sadness, I thought she looked beautiful with the water tangling in her lashes. A drop escaped and fell down her cheek, and I wiped it away with my thumb.

  “We have something special,” I said in a low voice. “I can feel it. I think you can, too. So I am going to take the bad with the good and ask that you try to do the same. I can’t help the fame. Not only is it my job, I love it. I’m a complete attention whore. I know that. I’m not going to deny it. I’m asking you to accept it. I know you hate it, but it’s as much a part of me as the virgin thing is a part of you.”

  Val swallowed back her emotions and nodded. “Okay.” The promise came out small and strangled. “You’re right. I can’t expect you to make all the sacrifices. I’ll find a way to deal with the fame.”

  A weight lifted off my chest that I hadn’t realized was there, and I let out a breath I’d been holding in my lungs. “Thank you,” I said as I pressed a light kiss to her lips.

  She finally opened her big, beautiful brown eyes and stared into mine. Her uncertainty and fear shone through in her gaze, but along with the vulnerability I saw hope. “Please be worth it,” she whispered.

  The doubt should have stung, but instead it settled my nerves. She wasn’t sure about us, but she was willing to take the chance. That took courage—something Val’s always had in abundance, and one of the things I liked best about her.

  I felt the corners of my mouth curve into a smile. “I’ll do my best,” I promised and kissed her again. This time I let it linger, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I pulled her away from the wall and wrapped her tightly in my arms, needing the connection as much as I’m sure she did right then. We pulled apart when we heard a loud sniffle.

  “That was so beautiful,” a weepy voice said. “You guys are totally going to make it.”

  I turned to see a bathrobe-clad blonde smiling at us from the mouth of the hallway. She dabbed her eyes with a tissue and held out the box. Val laughed as she took a tissue. I was pretty sure I was missing an inside joke.

  The two women hugged, and then Val pushed her friend toward me. “Kyle, this is my roommate, Stephanie. Stephanie just got engaged a couple of weeks ago and it’s made her a bit emotional. She cries at everything now. Movies, songs, books, girl talk…there was even this one time when she was doing laundry.”

  Stephanie playfully shoved Val. “I’m just so happy,” she said. “Austin and I have been together for three years. I didn’t think he’d ever ask. The engagement was a complete surprise.”

  I didn’t ask questions. Cara and Adrianna had both been all gooey, emotional messes after they got engaged, too. Eventually, that phase passed and the bridezilla stage kicked in. I didn’t think this woman needed to hear that she’d soon give up her tears of joy and become a neurotic, anal control freak, so I just held out my hand and said, “Congratulations.”

  Stephanie’s face flushed as she shook my hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said. “I was there through most of the events of senior year, but I’m sure you don’t remember me. Back then you only ever had eyes for Val.”

  My eyes automatically went back to Val and I smiled at her pink cheeks.

  “I guess not much has changed.”

  When I realized I was staring, I laughed and pulled Val back into my arms. “Some things have changed. For instance, I’m allowed to kiss her now.”

  I went ahead and proved my point.

  “So about the rest of the weekend…,” I said.

  Val shrugged. “I’ve got no plans until work Monday.”

  Just what I was hoping to hear. “Good. I’ve got more than enough plans for the both of us, but I’m afraid they’ll require you to be showered and dressed.” Unable to resist, I grinned and said, “Would you like some help with that?”

  “Yup.” Stephanie laughed again. “Definitely still the same Kyle.”

  I was startled when my phone buzzed in my back pocket. I’d been on edge for days.

  Hey rock star. How did the interview go?

  Relief flooded me when I saw it was Val who’d texted me. We’d had the most amazing weekend together, and then I flew home on Monday and hadn’t gotten anything more from her than a couple of random texts in three days. She’d been swamped at work and I had this interview coming up, so I’d flown home. Val hadn’t said anything about when we’d see each other again.

  Still waiting I texted back. Not sure what the hold up is.

  I’d wish you luck but you don’t need it. You’re going to rock it.

  I was new to long-distance relationships. I didn’t like that we’d left things open-ended. Val was so caught up in her crazy, full-speed-ahead world. I wondered if she even realized it’d been three days and we hadn’t talked. Maybe that was normal for her in a relationship, but I was kind of an all or nothing guy. I didn’t want to ask outright if she wanted to come down to L.A. this weekend, but what could I say to drop the hint?

  Wish you were here. You should be doing this interview with me.

  I wish I were there too. I miss you.

  Well, that answered nothing. But at least she missed me. At least I’d crossed her mind once or twice since I left. Another text followed her last one.

  Is that lame? Saying I miss you? I know it’s only been three days.

  I felt a smile creep onto my face. Probably the first one I’d managed all day. She was worried about saying she missed me, while I was struggling not to jump on another plane.

  Not lame I typed back. I miss you too. All my other girlfriends down here aren’t as fun as you.

  HA. HA. Not funny.

  I
laughed. You’re sexy when you’re jealous.

  I’ve got to go. I’m meeting my other boyfriend for lunch.

  You’re right. It’s not funny.

  See?

  You’re not really going out to lunch with some guy are you?

  Aw, you’re so cute when you’re jealous.

  Okay, you got me.

  Good. I really do have to go though. Late for a meeting. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?

  Can’t wait.

  I slipped my phone back into my pocket and tried not to frown. I knew she was kidding with the boyfriend comment, but I hated thinking about it all the same. Especially after having met Bryce Carmichael, the F is for Families wonder boy.

  I glanced around the studio, wondering what the hold up was.

  My managers had put the word out that I was pledging the V is for Virgin abstinence challenge and invited a number of different media people to witness it. Celebrity Gossip asked to do a cover and a four-page photo spread and interview. Who knew my abstinence would be such front-page news?

  They’d really gone all out for this thing, too—lights and cameras everywhere. They had three separate location setups, crafty, and my own private waiting area. At least there was that. I wasn’t being hounded by the press while I waited. Seriously, what was the deal?

  When I started fidgeting, I pulled out my phone again. This dumb thing needed to start already so I wouldn’t just sit here imagining Bryce “P is for Perfect” Carmichael hatching a plan to make the world a better place over margaritas with my girlfriend.

  Or Angels’ center fielder Mike Trout, for that matter.

  “Nervous?”

  I glanced up to see Robin grinning at me.

  Curse my stupid restlessness. I hoped I didn’t look like I was scared to everyone else here. All those reporters sitting on the other side of the studio would just love to tell the world I was nervous right now.

  I forced myself to sit still. “I’m not worried about the interview.”

  “So, you’re just excited to pronounce your abstinence?” she teased.

  “Yup. That’s it. How’d you guess?”

  Robin’s smile turned to a smirk. “Why does Val have you strung out?”

  I grimaced. “That obvious?”

  “I know relationship drama when I see it. What’s going on? I thought things went well in Nor Cal.”

  Was I really about to have this conversation? I searched the room again wishing someone was ready for me, but everyone was still just standing around.

  Robin crossed her arms and gave me a look that said she meant business.

  With a sigh, I put my phone away and gestured to the vacant chair next to mine. “Have a seat, put your feet up.”

  Robin’s face lit up and she sat down. Watching her fall into her seat was painful. She looked around the room and lowered her voice. “Am I, like, breaking some kind of rule by talking to the talent?”

  I smirked. “Not when you know them personally. You’re a welcome distraction.”

  “So, what’s going on with you and Val?”

  “I hope you checked out crafty,” I replied. “I warned them there’d be a pregnant lady here today. It should be stocked with plenty of peanut butter and pickles.”

  Robin laughed and subconsciously rubbed her belly. My avoidance tactic worked, though, and she was distracted. “Sadly, my cravings have been different this time. I’m all about banana pudding and gas station taquitos. Gross, I know, but…”

  “Ooh, those pepper jack ones? I love those.”

  She laughed again and threw her arm over my shoulder. “Kyle, I believe you might just be a kindred spirit.”

  Robin was all right. I leaned over and spoke softly, as if I were sharing a huge secret. “You want to see something cool? Watch this.”

  I looked up and waved over the first person I saw. The kid was about eighteen or nineteen and had his hands full of a tangled heap of wires. He looked thrilled to have my attention. “What can I do for you, Mr. Hamilton?”

  I winked at Robin and then said, “We have a pregnant lady emergency on our hands. I need someone to run to 7-Eleven and get a couple of those pepper jack taquitos they make and a banana-flavored pudding cup.”

  I smirked when the kid flagged down one of his crew members and handed over the wires. “Can you take this to the DP? I’ve got to run an errand for Mr. Hamilton.” He turned back to me and said, “Two taquitos and a banana pudding cup?”

  “The pepper jack kind.”

  “I’m on it.”

  I stopped him before he walked away. “Actually, make it four.” I patted my stomach and smiled. “Sympathy cravings.”

  Once the kid was gone, Robin burst into laughter. “Is he really going to do it?”

  “Oh yeah. He’ll hurry, too.”

  Robin shook her head, saying, “You didn’t have to do that,” but she couldn’t hide her amusement.

  “Ah, don’t worry about it. He’s getting paid. Plus I probably just made his whole day. Now he’ll get to go home and tell all his family that he got to meet Kyle Hamilton, and that we bonded over taquitos and pudding.”

  When Robin cast me another disbelieving look, I grinned. “There are perks to being the talent.”

  “I guess so.” Robin stretched out and let her eyes fall shut. “Unfortunately, bribing me with convenience food isn’t going to get you off the hook. Come on, fess up.”

  “You are worse than Cara.” I laughed and decided I’d lost the battle. “There’s nothing wrong. It’s stupid.”

  Robin shrugged. “But it’s bugging you.”

  “Well, yeah, it’s bugging me. We live six hours apart and we didn’t talk about how the distance thing is going to work before I left. The ball was in her court, and she didn’t say anything. I’ve been gone three days and she still hasn’t brought it up. I’m not usually this needy and stalkerish, it’s just she’s always so busy. What if she can’t manage to pencil me in for a month?”

  I was surprised I’d just admitted all that. I felt like an idiot, but Robin didn’t laugh. She was quiet for a minute, then let out a long breath. “I’m not going to lie, that’s always going to be an issue with Val. She and I aren’t as close as we used to be in high school. We’re still good friends. We keep up on Facebook, I see her a couple times a year, and I took over all the V is for Virgin stuff for her when she went to college, so I still work with her quite a bit. I know how she operates. She’s always busy, always got too much on her plate. She lives by the schedule on her tablet. You’ll probably always have to compete for her time.”

  I frowned. Wasn’t this girl-talk crap supposed to make you feel better? Wasn’t that why women were always so insistent on talking?

  “But,” Robin said when she saw the look on my face, “she’s always there when you really need her. And, she has a way of working out the impossible. I think she might surprise you.”

  I couldn’t ignore the sincerity in Robin’s voice, and it did actually make me feel better. Robin knew Val, and if she thought we’d make it work, then I would have faith, too.

  Just then, a door slammed and a pair of heels clacked across the floor in a hurry. I didn’t know why that made Robin smile so big until I heard Val call out, “I’m here! I’m so sorry! There was an accident coming over the Grapevine. Traffic on the freeway was stopped for almost two hours. What can you do?”

  I whirled on Robin, feeling a bit like I’d been betrayed. “You knew this whole time she was coming?”

  Robin laughed, really enjoying my shock. She patted my leg and winked as she hoisted herself out of her chair. “I arranged it.”

  She left me sitting there in bewilderment and hurried over to Val. They hugged and chatted for a minute before Robin pointed my direction, and Val looked over. My mouth must have still been hanging open because Val pursed her lips together in an attempt not to laugh.

  I got up to greet her and she met me halfway. “Hey.”

  There was a hint of insecurity in her answer. �
��Surprise?”

  I was still a little stunned as I pulled her into my arms and gave her a quick kiss. “You came down to do the interview with me?” My disbelief was starting to melt into gratitude, and I finally managed a smile.

  “Actually…” She hesitated, worrying her bottom lip in her teeth. “Bryce talked me into taking the summer off. My parents said I could stay with them until school starts. They were pretty thrilled, actually.”

  I couldn’t believe what she was saying. “You quit your job?”

  She shrugged as if to play it off, but her cheeks turned pink. “I’ve been training a replacement anyway because I knew I was going to have to hand the organization over once I started grad school. I just handed it over a couple months early. Honestly, I could use the break.”

  She waited for a response, but I didn’t know what to say. I just kept picturing a giant day planner with its entire schedule erased and replaced with the word KYLE in big block letters.

  When I couldn’t speak, she started to ramble. “There will still be the random conference call, and I’ve got some maid of honor stuff for Stephanie’s wedding that I’ll have to—”

  I cut her off with a kiss. The woman had just quit her job for me. I needed her in my arms. I pulled her close and kissed her until she melted. She looked up at me, face flushed, with a shy smile. “So, it’s okay that I came?”

  “Is it okay that my girlfriend wanted to spend the summer in the same city as me?” I pretended to think about it. “I think I’ll survive.”

  Her smile became more confident. “And is it okay if I share your spotlight with you today? I had so many people contact me after that escapade in front of my house; I thought doing the interview together would help answer a lot of questions. When Robin mentioned it to your people, they seemed pretty excited.”

  “First she steals my fans, then she wants to take over my interview,” I said with a playful sigh. “And you say I’m the attention hog.”