Love Inspired January 2016, Box Set 1 of 2
Page 17
“Never mind. Talking too much. Blame it on being in civvies,” she said, easing out a sigh.
“If this has something to do with what is happening between me and Chloe, you need to tell me.”
“It’s not my secret to tell,” Lucy said, folding her arms over her chest, her feet planted slightly apart. Holding her ground.
“Secret?”
“You need to ask Chloe. Not me,” Lucy said.
“But she’s not talking to me.” Grady clenched his fist, struggling to maintain his composure.
“Find a way. You’re not the only one with pride, you know.”
Grady couldn’t help it. Hope fluttered deep in his soul, a fragile thing he hardly dared acknowledge but didn’t want to ignore.
“Talk to her,” Lucy said, adding a meaningful look. “Don’t let her get away from you.”
Grady held her gaze a moment, sensing that there had been more to the situation than his interpretation, and the flutter of hope grew. Just a bit.
“So why are we having this meeting, or are you two just going to sit in the corner sharing secrets?” Byron McKay called out, his loud voice breaking the silence that followed Lucy’s comment. “Maybe you’d like to bring the rest of us into the loop. Tell us if you’ve solved any of the crimes. Maybe get that stolen Welcome to Little Horn sign back.”
Lucy spun around, straightening her shoulders as if readying herself to face down Byron. “No secrets to share, Byron,” she said as Carson, Tom Horn, Ingrid Edwards and other members of the Lone Star Cowboy League filed into the room. “As for the Welcome to Little Horn sign, I am looking into getting a new one made.”
“Let’s get going,” Byron called out, looking around as people settled into their seats. “Guess we’ll have to find out just how incompetent our sheriff has been over the past week.”
“That’s out of order,” Grady said.
Bryon rounded on him and Grady stared him down. Then Byron gave him what, for Byron, seemed to pass for an apologetic smile. “Right. Sorry.”
Grady felt a small victory, but as he settled into the chair he had a hard time concentrating on the meeting. Over and over he thought of what Lucy had told him. Her truncated sentence about Chloe that raised more questions.
Because of her what?
He knew one thing: as soon as he got back to the ranch he was going to find out.
* * *
“What are your plans for this afternoon?” Mamie asked Chloe as she packaged up some cookies. “I was hoping to take these to Iva Donovan. See how she’s doing.”
“I thought I would take Cody out for a walk.” Chloe finished giving him the last of his lunch and wiped the baby’s mouth with a cloth. Cody tried to push away her hand, and in spite of the heaviness weighing on her heart she had to smile. “He’s been cooped up quite a bit, and now that the sun is shining I’d like to get out, as well.”
This way she would be out of the house when Grady came back from his meeting with the league. She knew she couldn’t avoid him forever and would have to resume his physical therapy sessions soon, but she needed a few days to settle herself in this hard place.
Chloe wiped Cody’s hands and got up to bring his bowl to the sink. She returned to the high chair and unbuckled his harness, then picked him up. After she settled him on her hip, she cuddled him close, pressing a kiss to his head. Tears pricked her eyelids. The past few days it was as if her pregnancy was making her feel even more maternal and fragile.
“Honey, is everything okay?”
Mamie’s quiet voice and gentle hand on her shoulder didn’t help Chloe’s precarious emotions.
She swallowed the knot in her throat and struggled to regain her composure.
“Yes, everything is fine.”
But her assertion didn’t come out as strongly as she had hoped, and her voice trembled on the last word.
“I don’t think it is at all,” Mamie said, slipping her arm around Chloe’s waist and steering her gently toward the living room. “In fact, I think we need to talk.”
Her words created an ominous feeling inside. Did Mamie know about her pregnancy? Was she about to get fired for misleading her? Where would she go now? What would she do?
Just wait. Don’t borrow trouble.
Chloe pulled in a long, slow breath and sat down, holding Cody a little tighter than necessary. He wiggled as though he wanted to leave, so she set him on the floor.
“He just keeps getting bigger and bigger,” Mamie said as she sat down on the couch beside Chloe. They watched him crawl away, then sit up, smiling proudly at his achievement.
Then Mamie turned to Chloe, took her hand.
Chloe swallowed, and swallowed again, trying to stifle the fear clawing up her throat.
“I promised myself I would never be a meddling grandma,” Mamie said, giving Chloe’s hand a gentle squeeze. “But I’m going to now. I noticed that you and Grady seemed to enjoy each other’s company. I thought you were attracted to him and vice versa. In fact, I was kind of thinking the way things were going that you and him were building a relationship. But now...” She shrugged, waited as if hoping Chloe would fill in the blanks, but Chloe, not trusting herself to speak, said nothing.
“I know that working here isn’t the same as working in the hospital,” Mamie said with a sense of finality. “And I think you know that I asked you to come for a bunch of reasons and not just because I needed help with Cody. I could have asked any number of people to help me. And yes, I was hoping you would be able to convince Grady that he needed to do therapy, but I’m sure I could have done that myself.”
Mamie gave her a rueful smile. “I may as well tell the truth. I was hoping that you and Grady would get together. I know you used to like him in high school, and I’m positive he had a thing for you until that Vanessa girl got her claws in him.” This was followed by another long-suffering sigh. “And then, for a while, it seemed that you two found each other. That you were, well, falling in love. But now you two can’t even spend time together in the same room. So I’m coming right out and asking...what happened?”
Chloe looked down at their joined hands, so close to the growing swell of her stomach. Talking about Grady still hurt too much. She didn’t trust herself to be objective. Not to cry.
If she told Mamie about the baby, which would be hard enough, she might be distracted enough not to ask her any more painful questions about Grady.
Sending up a prayer for strength, she took a breath and held Mamie’s questioning gaze.
“I’m pregnant.”
“I know.”
Chloe could only stare. Mamie’s blunt response was not what she had expected at all.
“How did you know?” she asked when the shock wore off.
Mamie shrugged. “I didn’t know for sure. I just guessed, but I guess I know for sure now.” She gave Chloe’s hand a comforting squeeze. “Don’t worry. I haven’t told anyone. And it doesn’t matter. I’m thinking that your ex-husband is the father?”
“Jeremy. Yes. I got pregnant and he didn’t want a baby. Didn’t take him long to get rid of me thanks to his close friendship with a judge.”
“It’s okay, sweetie. You don’t have to explain.”
“But I feel as if I do. I took this job under false pretenses.”
“I’m thinking Grady doesn’t know?”
Chloe shook her head, the last words that he’d spoken to her still ringing in her mind.
“Why haven’t you told him? I know you care for him.”
Chloe heard the faint reprimand in Mamie’s voice and tried not to feel defensive. “I was afraid. Everything happened so quickly and it was so wonderful.” She looked up at Grady’s grandmother, praying she would understand. “You are right when you say I’ve cared for Grady a long time. We were on our way to buil
ding a relationship and everything was working out so well. I was so happy.”
“What happened?”
Chloe bit her lip, casting through her mind for the right words.
“We were talking about Cody and he said that he was thankful that Cody wasn’t his because he didn’t...didn’t want to start a relationship with the responsibility of a child. He said that was heavy stuff. And at that moment I knew I couldn’t tell him about my baby.”
Mamie’s silence underlined Chloe’s insecurities.
“He kept telling me how much he appreciated my honesty and innocence,” she continued. “And here I am, not only divorced, but pregnant by the man I just divorced. It just makes me feel...unworthy.”
“Oh, child, never think that,” Mamie hastily said, giving Chloe a hug. Then she framed Chloe’s face with her hands, shaking her head as if in disbelief. “You are indeed a pure and innocent person. You were trying to stay true to your vows, and that is already beyond admirable. That you got pregnant doing so was not your fault.”
“Thank you for that,” Chloe said, catching Mamie by the wrists, smiling at her. “But it doesn’t negate the fact that Grady doesn’t think he can take on a child.”
“You don’t know that for sure. You don’t know exactly what he was referring to. What he meant. I still think you should tell him.”
“For what purpose? I doubt he will change how he feels about taking on the responsibility.”
Mamie said nothing to that, which only underlined what Chloe knew she had to do.
“I know you hired me to work with Grady, but I don’t know if I can do that anymore.” Chloe bit her lip, looking over at Cody, who was gumming on a small teddy bear, looking up at them, his eyes sparkling. Her heart lurched in her chest. “I don’t want to do this to Cody, and if you want, I will stay to take care of him—”
“Honey, don’t make any decisions right away,” Mamie said. “You have a home here as long as you need it.”
“I also have a furnished apartment in town,” Chloe said with a forced laugh.
“That’s not a home.”
Chloe agreed, but she couldn’t see that she had any choice.
“You know you can stay here as long as you need to,” Mamie said.
“Thank you,” Chloe said.
“And I think you should talk to Grady. You need to tell him about your baby and let him decide how he feels about it.”
“But he said—”
“I know what he said, but that was about Cody. For all you know, he might have felt guilty because he thought he couldn’t take care of him given his injury.” Mamie was quiet a moment. “I don’t know if you know the full history of Grady and his parents.”
“All I know is that his parents got divorced when Grady was in junior high.”
“Did you know why?”
“I was young then. I can’t remember.” Plus she’d had had her own drama going on in her home. That had been about the time Etta and Vanessa had come into Chloe’s life.
Mamie pulled in a slow breath. “I think what happened with my son and his wife has had an impact on both boys, and not for the better. My son, Reuben, had an accident a couple of years before the divorce. He was feeding cows and a bale fell on him and injured his back. After that he was in constant pain and couldn’t do as much as he used to. He wasn’t the easiest man to live with before, and he became much more difficult after that. Shirley couldn’t handle living with him. Two years after the accident, she left him.
“Grady was angry and humiliated, and as soon as he could, he joined the army. I always thought he figured it was a way of redeeming the family name. Grady and his father were always close, and after he left, Reuben became even more bitter. While Grady could always get along with him, Ben couldn’t. Which caused problems in Ben’s life.” Mamie was silent a moment. Then she gave Chloe a gentle smile. “I may be wrong, but when Grady got injured I wonder if, on some level, he didn’t think a woman would want him the way he was. His mother couldn’t live with an injured man. Maybe no woman could live with him.”
Chloe let Mamie’s words roll over in her mind as she examined them. She thought of how he initially had resisted her help. She knew he was proud and stubborn; what Mamie had told her gave another layer to his personality.
Then she felt a movement in her abdomen and she felt herself drawn back to another reality. Her own situation. And what she brought to any relationship she and Grady might have.
Another man’s child. Could he handle that?
She wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. She wasn’t sure she could face rejection again.
“You and Grady were meant to be together,” Mamie said, squeezing Chloe’s hand. “I’ve prayed so often that Grady would find someone. When you came into his life, I thought those prayers were answered. I don’t like to think God was toying with me.”
Chloe wasn’t sure what to say to that. She knew that relationships were difficult.
“You think about what I said,” Mamie urged. “Don’t give up on Grady yet. He’s a good man, and in spite of what you may think, you’re a good woman. Grady is a proud person, but part of me thinks that maybe you have your share of pride, as well.”
Chloe felt taken aback by her comment, then, as she thought about it, she understood what Mamie was saying. “I might. It hasn’t been easy for me, either, knowing that my father couldn’t seem to keep his ranch together. And then me getting a divorce and losing my job.” She sighed, trying not to let the despair that hung over her like a cloud darken her perspective. “Maybe I tried to protect myself, as well.”
“Of course you have,” Mamie said, giving her hands a gentle shake. “But these events are not what define you. These are things that happened to you. These things are not you. You have much to give my grandson. I want you to think about that, as well. And I want you to know that you can trust him with your heart and with that baby you’re carrying.”
Chloe gave her a half smile. “Thanks for the encouragement.” She gave into an impulse and brushed a light kiss over Mamie’s cheek. “Thank you for everything.”
She got up, picked up Cody and brought him to the porch to get him ready. She needed to get outside and get some fresh air.
Then she needed to figure out what her next step was.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Grady got out of Ben’s truck, then ducked his head against the snow that had started up again just as he’d pulled into the yard. The meeting had dragged on far longer than it had needed to. After what Lucy had hinted at, he’d wanted to leave right away and return to the ranch to talk to Chloe.
But Byron had kept saying how Lucy was dragging her heels and had grilled Grady on the background of the people working at Stillwater Ranch. He had dropped many a broad hint about the lack of thefts from their ranch. Grady had had a hard time not losing his patience. It was only because Lucy had voiced the same concerns that he’d given Byron the information he had. But it bothered him that people were suspecting employees he had known for so many years. People his brother trusted implicitly.
Then the money had brought out another round of protests from Lenora Woods, who’d seemed to think that if anyone needed help it was her, not some single girl who could take care of herself. Byron kept calling for Lucy’s resignation. It was tiring and Grady had forgotten what a blowhard Byron could be.
Carson had managed to rein Byron in and they’d finally gotten through the agenda. But throughout the meeting Grady had kept thinking about what Lucy had said.
He made his way into the house, torn between hurrying and making sure he didn’t fall again. His leg was getting sore again, but he didn’t want to dwell on that. He needed to find Chloe. To figure out what Lucy was talking about.
Don’t let her get away from you.
You’re not the only one with pri
de.
Lucy’s words had spun around his head all the way home. The smile she’d given him had ignited a tiny spark of hope.
Once inside he shucked his coat, inhaling the scent of cookies, his growling stomach reminding him he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. He followed his nose to the kitchen, hoping that Chloe would be there. As he wolfed down a couple of cookies, he listened. But the house was silent.
He heard a vehicle pull up and he hurried to the door just as his grandmother came inside.
“Do you know where Chloe and Cody are?” Grady asked.
His grandmother shook her head as she unwound a thick scarf from around her neck, stamping off the snow from her boots. “No. I’ve been gone for an hour or so. She said she was taking Cody for a walk. She left the same time I did. She isn’t back yet?” Mamie’s voice took on an edge that added to Grady’s concern.
“No. She’s not.” Grady pulled back, analyzing. Breaking things down. “I’ll go check at the barns. She might be there.”
He slipped his coat back on, dropped his hat on his head and grabbed his gloves.
“Do you want me to come?” his grandmother asked, worry lacing her voice.
“No. I’m sure it’s fine,” Grady said, not wanting to add to her concern. One step at a time, he told himself. First plan A. Check the barn.
He tugged on his gloves, wrapping a scarf around his neck to cut the wind that he heard picking up.
He walked carefully across the yard to the barn, ducking his head against the icy wind. As the snow hit his cheeks he hoped they weren’t in for another storm.
But all was quiet in the barn. Just to make sure, he hurried down the alley. Sweetpea whinnied at him as he went past. Babe and Shiloh just watched him go.
Grady’s heart turned in his chest. Chloe and Cody weren’t here. They weren’t in the house. Then, where would they have gone for so long? He tried to call her on her cell phone but didn’t receive an answer. He guessed she was in a place with poor reception or her battery was dead. Either way, he had no idea where she could be.
He tried to settle his growing concern. Think. Analyze.