Hannah Howell

by Highland Hearts

  “Mayhaps not since ye were of an age to remember,” Kirsten said. “Ye can never ken how long they will be gone, dearling. Nay, nor how much fighting they may have to do or how long the battle might last.”

  “A wee bit of common sense should have told me that. It does sometimes. Then I think that it must be over and wonder where they all are. I fear I also thought that all this cooking was because ye expected them to return.”

  “Well, aye, we do a wee bit,” Kirsten said. “ ’Tis also a way to keep busy, which one must do at such times. If they do return we shall have a very fine feast waiting for them. If not, we will send it to their camp.”

  Meghan laughed. “Which we have done several times. Tomas said there are always men trying to join them simply because they are always so well provisioned. Soldiers always have more stomach than food to fill it.”

  “Oh. Do ye think I should send something to Revan, then?”

  “Ye will be,” replied Kirsten. “He is in the Delgado-Comyn camp.”

  “But his family fights for the king. Surely he would be with them.” She saw the way the women looked at her and realized why—her uncle Silvio would keep Revan close at hand, as he had done since their arrival at Donnbraigh. “Humph. And they say they arena holding a sword in his back.”

  “They arena holding one, simply ensuring that he doesna get too shy or nervous and bolt,” said Meghan.

  “Revan wouldna ken what shy is if it leapt up and bit his nose clean off. I have never seen him nervous, either.”

  “Ye will see it when he kneels at the altar,” said Isabella.

  Tess looked at her aging cousin, who peeled apples brought out of storage, apples as wrinkled as her still nimble hands. “Nay, what I will see is that cursed honor and duty he holds so dear.”

  “Ye canna fault a man for holding such virtues.” Isabella neatly chopped up the apple she had just peeled and, after tossing the pieces in a large pot, got another wizened apple out of the basket at her feet.

  “Child, what troubles you?” asked Kirsten. “The way ye act toward your young knight tells me ye want him for your husband, yet ye talk about the forthcoming wedding as if it were some curse, not a blessing.”

  “I fear it could well be a curse and a fatal one—at least to my heart and mayhaps my soul.”

  Tess glanced toward the other women sharing the large main room of the house. They were intent upon their stitchery and gossip as they sat in a compact circle near the fireplace. She then looked at the three women sharing the table with her. It was risky to tell them what she thought—but she needed to talk the matter over with someone. Here were three women—young, middle-aged, and old—who were all sensible and willing to listen. The temptation was too much to resist.

  “Can ye all keep a confidence?” All three quickly nodded, and Tess sighed. “I will understand if ye feel pressed to break this one. In truth, ’twould be unfair to swear you to silence ere I told you this, and I willna pain us all by begging for secrecy afterward.”

  “I believe I speak for all of us when I swear I willna break the confidence without much thought and consideration for you,” Kirsten said, and Isabella and Meghan nodded.

  “Thank ye. ’Tis about my forthcoming marriage.”

  “Phew, there is a surprise,” murmured Isabella.

  “I am glad, in a way, that Revan has been forced to spend so much time in the company of my kinsmen.” Tess eyed her elder cousin with fond annoyance. “It has allowed him to see that my tongue isna born of perversity and a dislike for him, but is my birthright. Might I say what I wish to now?”

  “Do continue, lassie.”

  “How kind.” She grew serious again, frowning at the dough she worked with her hands. “I think it would be a grave error to go through with this marriage.”

  “Then ye shouldna have let the lad lift your skirts,” snapped Isabella. “What is the matter? Doesna he do the job well enough to suit you?”

  Although she could feel the heat of a blush upon her cheeks, Tess scowled at her white-haired cousin. “He does the job very well, thank ye kindly. In truth, I suspect he does the job better than most, although I couldna judge that as well as ye might, ye old corbie.”

  “Aye, I would be able to judge. I have had my share of fine stalwart lads. Why, I recall—”

  “Oh, hush up, Isabella,” said Kirsten. “We dinna need to hear about your scandalous past now. Tess wishes to speak of important matters. Go on, Tessa. If she interrupts again, we shall stuff one of her own apples into her toothless mouth.”

  It took Tess a moment to subdue the urge to smile. Things had changed in the last five years, yet they had remained the same. Isabella still snapped at everyone and tried to tell anyone who would sit still a moment about her licentious youth, while everyone else still snapped back at the woman. It all sounded so contentious to an outsider, but there was no disrespect and there was an abundance of love. She knew she could unburden herself to these women without fear.

  “Why would it be such a grave error, dearling?” Kirsten pressed.

  “Because I am an heiress and he is a poor knight with naught but honor and a good sword arm.”

  “The Halyards are a good family. I never heard that they were particularly poor, either.”

  “They arena. Revan is. He has no coin and no land and no hope of gaining any through his family. ’Tis the same problem many a younger son wrestles with.”

  “Then he should be well pleased with your dowry. I dinna accuse him of bedding you to gain it, but we ken that ’tis more than he could have gained in the usual way of things. A lass with your fortune would have been kept well out of his reach. Ye dinna fear that he weds you to gain that fortune, do ye?”

  “Nay. The truth of the matter is that he didna want to wed me because of my fortune.”

  “I fear I dinna understand.”

  “It took me a while. Revan has what most would consider a very odd opinion. He sees wedding a lass for gain as naught but the act of a whore. He swore he wouldna gain his land or the coin in his pocket through marriage. If he canna get such things with his own wits and skill, then he will live without them.”

  “A very noble attitude,” murmured Kirsten.

  “Aye, but still odd. Dinna deny it. I could hear the confusion in your voice. Men dinna understand him, either. ’Tis a point of pride with him, Aunt. He admitted as much to me, for I sensed his reluctance when Uncle Silvio first said we were to be married and I pressed him for the reason for it. It sorely stings his pride to be seen as one who profits through marriage, to have both land and coin brought to the marriage by the wife whilst he brings naught. I suppose he feels—well—bought.”

  “Foolishness. He will put that aside, child. Dinna worry on it.”

  “Aye,” agreed Isabella. “No man has died from having his pride pinched a wee bit.”

  Tess sighed. “I ken that. ’Twill be far more than a pinch, I fear. He doesna ken the whole truth. When we first escaped Thurkettle and were hiding in that cave, he and I pondered the reasons why Thurkettle should want to kill me. Besides the need to silence me there was the chance of gain. That would explain the attempts made upon my life whilst I was living with Thurkettle. So, Revan asked if I had any fortune, and I said I did, but I lied about how much.”

  “Oh, Tessa.” Kirsten reached across the table to pat Tessa’s hand, raising a tiny cloud of flour dust. “What did ye tell him?”

  “That I had a few thousand riders and a little land here and in Spain.” She grimaced when all three women just stared at her. “At that time I didna ken him well and didna want him to ken what I was worth. ’Tis hard to explain. It isna that I feared he would do me any harm or the like. I just didna want to tell him then.”

  “And ye havena told him since then?”

  “Nay, Aunt. The matter was never discussed again.”

  “Silvio didna tell him?”

  “I think he believes that Revan kens it all already. Revan was the first one to mention my fo
rtune. He told uncle of how Thurkettle had tried to kill me before there was a need to stop me from telling what I learned. It wasna discussed after that. ’Twas also shortly after that that I learned of his feelings concerning wedding an heiress. I couldna tell him then.”

  “Nay, I can well understand that. Unfortunately, ye must tell him sometime. He has to be told.”

  “Have ye made any plans, Tess?” Meghan asked.

  “Well, first I tried to think of some solution to the problem, of some way to soothe his pride.”

  “There is none,” muttered Isabella. “Not unless ye make yourself as poor as he is.”

  “I did think about that, but I canna do it. ’Tis not really my choice to make. The land and the money is for those yet to come as well. And such a gesture would bring its own problems. Revan would always wonder if I regretted it, if I resented him for all I had to give up. And if the children were to discover what I had done, they could resent it. Aye, especially if we remained poor. I myself might even grow to resent it for many reasons—when there wasna enough to eat or no pretty gowns for my daughter.” She shrugged. “ ’Tis so hard to explain, but I feel certain that it wouldna solve the problem. It would just change it.

  “However, if I keep my fortune and wed Revan, there will also be problems. ’Twill shatter his pride when he discovers just how much of a dowry I have, a dowry so large he couldna hope to match it. Stripped of his pride, he will grow to hate me. That will kill me. Little by little, as I watch him turn against me, I will die inside.”

  “Ye love him a great deal,” Kirsten murmured.

  “More than is probably wise. ’Tis what prods me to the decision I have finally made. I must set him free.”

  “But the family willna allow that,” Meghan said.

  “If I can get him away from this vast family, I feel that, in time, I can convince Uncle Silvio that it was for the best. Revan would need to stay out of their reach for only a wee while. I feel certain ’tis the only way either Revan or I can be at least content. Well, he will be. I must release him. Do ye understand what I am trying to say?”

  “Aye,” said Isabella. “Ye must let the lad go. Ye are right about that.”

  “Isabella!” cried Kirsten, then hastily lowered her voice when the other women glanced their way. “She has bedded the man.”

  “So? That willna ruin her for all time. Wedding a man whom she loves, but who will slowly turn on her, will do just what she says it will do—kill her inside. Ye can steal a lot from a man and it willna matter very much, just cause a few wee times of anger and hurt. However, ye canna strip a man of all of his pride and expect him to still care for you. That lad will grow to hate her just as she says he will.”

  “Mayhaps it isna as bad as ye say,” said Meghan. “The size of your fortune may not matter at all.”

  “It will, Meghan. He is uncomfortable with what he thinks I have. But, he can see the chance of matching it or at least coming near to matching it. The true amount is a goal he will see as far beyond his reach. Aye, and if the king grants me all that Thurkettle has left, ’twill be even worse. I dinna think it would help if he loved me, either.”

  Tess smiled sadly at the three women. “Now ye ken it all and ken why I didna want to force ye to swear to silence.”

  “Aye, but we didna help you very much,” Kirsten said and sighed.

  “Aye, ye did. The looks upon your faces, the concern behind your words, told me that I am justified in what I fear would happen if I marry Revan. I felt sure of my decision, yet there lingered a small part of me that feared I was throwing away any chance of happiness. Talking with you has finally silenced that wee contradictory voice.”

  “But how will ye do it? Revan is kept under a very close watch, friendly as that guard is.”

  “Aye,” agreed Meghan. “It might well grow even tighter when the time for the wedding draws near.”

  “I shall have to watch closely for a chance. If worst comes to worst, then there could be a scene at the altar. I just pray that I have a wee bit of luck and that a chance to set him free does come in time.”

  “It has best be soon, then,” mumbled Isabella, staring out the window. “The men have returned.”

  The next few hours were hectic. Tess met Revan’s father, Thane Halyard, and his eldest brother, Colin. Nairn and Simon also joined the group. She suspected that her uncle Silvio had given the men little choice. It was not until they sat at the table, finishing a hearty meal, that she was able to learn very much about the battle or what was to happen next.

  “I ken that the battle went in your favor, but ye havena told us much else,” she said as she refilled hers and Revan’s wine goblets. “It must have been a stunning victory if the king has let ye return home so quickly afterward.”

  “There was hardly a battle at all, lass,” explained Silvio. “Sir James Hamilton deserted the earl of Douglas just before the battle. That prompted a very large desertion within the traitor’s army. Douglas camped that night with nearly forty thousand men only to wake in the morning to a sadly emptied camp.”

  “So there was no battle at all?”

  “Well, a wee one. Ere the Douglas bedded down for the night, his army and King James’s were nearly equal. The odds tipped heavily against Douglas when Hamilton joined the king. There was some fighting on the Esk near Langholm. Douglas’s brother Moray was killed. His other brother, Ormond, was caught and executed.”

  “What of the earl of Douglas himself?”

  “He fled to England with Lord Balvanie.”

  “He deserted his own brothers?” Tess could not believe it.

  “Aye. Ran to save his own traitorous hide,” muttered Tomas. “Well, he has saved little else. ’Tis all forfeited to the crown now.”

  Tess looked at Revan. “All that trouble and it ends so swiftly, so ignominiously.”

  Revan laughed. “Aye. I felt a wee bit cheated myself.”

  “Is that why the king let ye leave the army? Because it was so easy?” asked Meghan.

  Silvio grimaced. “We have a fortnight. I fear Revan’s kin dinna even have that. They must return on the morrow. The king is intent upon cleaning out all of the Douglas’s allies. If he is still punishing the traitors in a fortnight’s time, he wishes us to rejoin the army.”

  There was a moment of silence before the conversation was renewed. Tess shared the dismay and disappointment of the other women. She might never call Revan husband, but she suspected she would always worry about him. No matter how skilled the knight, he still faced death each time he drew his sword in battle.

  Kirsten nodded to her, and with a sigh Tess rose to help the women clear the table. She doubted she would have an opportunity to be alone with Revan. That saddened her, but she told herself it was probably for the best. It was time to begin distancing herself from him. She prayed that that would help ease her pain a little when she had to send him away.

  “A bonnie wee lass, Revan,” Thane Halyard murmured as he joined his sons and Simon in the stable hayloft for the night.

  “Aye, she is bonnie.” Revan frowned when no one else climbed up the rough wooden ladder to join them. “No Delgado or Comyn? Am I to be allowed a night without the charming companionship of one of their number?”

  As he spread his blanket over the hay, Thane smiled at Revan. “Two are bedded down at the foot of the ladder. Another at each door of the stable. I think there are a few outside as well.”

  With a soft curse Revan sprawled on his back on his blanket. “I gave my word. It should be enough.”

  “ ’Tis not enough in this matter, lad. Aye, they trust you, but they will still watch ye closely until the vows are said. Even the finest of men can take it into his head to bolt as the day of his marriage draws near.” Lying down next to Revan, Thane crossed his arms beneath his head and looked at his son. “Ye probably arena hiding your reluctance as well as ye think ye are.”

  “Well, no man likes to be prodded to the altar,” Revan muttered, a little dismayed that
he could be so easily read.

  “Then ye should have kept your braies laced tighter, m’lad.”

  Revan cursed again as his family and Simon chuckled softly. “I can see that I will get no sympathy from you.”

  “Sympathy? Why should ye expect any sympathy? ’Tis evident that ye find the lass a delight beneath the blankets. She is a pretty lassie, too, with the finest pair of eyes I have ever had the pleasure of looking into. For all she is a wee thing, ’tis clear that she is strong. Proved that well enough in the fortnight ye spent racing about the borders. She has wit. Ye will be glad of that when the passion cools, as it will do over the years. And she has the land and coin I havena been able to give you,” he added in a quiet voice.

  “I dinna fault ye for that,” Revan said in an equally soft voice.

  “I ken it, lad. I regret it nonetheless. ’Tis why I was pleased when ye grew up to be such a bonnie lad. I hoped that face would help ye gain all I couldna give you.”

  “Ye mean ye hoped it would make some wealthy lass wish to buy me for her husband.”

  “Lad, ye have some very odd ideas. Ye expect sympathy for marrying a fine, wee lass many a man would want and then complain about the dowry that will come your way because of it. Get some rest, lad. ’Tis clear that weariness has dimmed your wits.” Thane shook his head, then closed his eyes. “I am sorry that none of your own kin will be attending your wedding, but as soon as there is peace, we will have a celebration for ye and the lass.”

  A grunt was all that Revan could manage in reply. He was feeling very much put upon. His family had not made even the smallest of protests over how the Delgado-Comyns were keeping him a virtual prisoner. There were no chains binding him and no swords pointed his way, but he could not even walk to the privy without one of Tessa’s amiable kinsmen at his side. It seemed to him that his family ought to take some umbrage over his treatment. Instead, they acted as if the Delgado-Comyns were already family.

  He sighed and got more comfortable on his rough bed. It was childish to concern himself with such petty matters. Even though he knew he would not back out of his word to marry Tess, her kinsmen had every right to act as they were. In fact, they were being far more gracious than many another family would be. He was just suffering from a natural resentment over being forced to do something, of having no real choices. Revan swore that he would rid himself of that feeling, for Tessa was certain to sense it and that would hurt her.