“Where’s he?” I asked.
“He’s over there somewhere, doing something for his mother. He’s going to meet us up in the street.”
“You have the gun?”
“Yeah, of course. What do you think we were just going to ask nicely for the weed, like say, pretty please…”
Funny, how this didn’t bother me. I mean, not like was armed robbery or anything. Actually, it wasn’t if you think of it, these kids were doing something illegal, they knew the risks. I mean, they were college kids after all. The train pulled into the station and the doors opened slowly like cripples crossing the street. We got on and because it was still early, the train was empty. We sat down in the corner and Junior took off the backpack and put it on his lap.
“Jesus, everything is speeding out of control lately.”
“What are you talking about? This thing,” he meant the train, “is hardly moving. Fucking local till Kings Highway.”
“No, everything. Melo ran into Rainie last night and smacked her again. He was looking for us. Then, this morning, I see Angela and we go for a ride. I end up going home and breaking up with Erica. I mean, I was trying to but she hung up and was heading over to my house when I talked to you. I just ran out.”
“Fucking Melo. We just got to shoot that guy tonight. I mean, whatever with Erica, that’s your business. But this shit with him has just got to stop. This is your sister we’re talking about.”
“I told Angela about Melo. She said she’d talk to her father and see what he could do.”
“Oh, what? Now we got Vito Gambela helping us? I’m not sure I like that. The guy makes Melo look like a fucking priest, or something. You know what I’m saying? He’s fucking…” Junior pointed to his head and twisted his fingers. “Gooblygooks”
We got off the train at Kings Highway and got on the D Train, it rain express into the city. Too much was happening too fast, it was like a merry-go-round in my head. I tried to think of something to say but instead my thoughts just kind of swirled around. So, I sat there next to Junior, who was kind of quiet himself. Before you knew it, we were in the city and when the doors of the train opened to that familiar smell, a hot mixture of sewage and grilled hot dogs, I tried not to breath.
“Where are we getting off? I asked.
“Let’s jump off at 14th St. and walk over. Get some fresh air. These kids live in some apartment around there, right on 14th St., I think. Betty knows. He’ll be upstairs.”
“The gun loaded?”
“Yup.” Junior said.
“Don’t shoot them, not for any reason. Shooting them is out of the question. You understand?”
“What if they shoot at use first? What do I do then, Mr. Fucking Peacenik?”
“You know that’s not going to happen. They’re college kids not some wise guys from Avenue U. We take the pot, no one gets hurt, listen up, I am being serious here.”
“I know. I know. Don’t worry. These kids will shit their pants when they see the gun, trust me. This is as easy as pie, maybe even easier. But since I’ve never made pie, you never know, right? We might have to shoot our way out of there, you know what I’m saying, just like John Wayne.” He was smiling and punching my arm at the same time.
“Stop hitting me, will you.”
When we got upstairs, we saw Betty standing there eating a pretzel. The city was starting to get crowded but we had no trouble spotting him. Never mind that he was bigger than almost anyone and his nose was the color of an eggplant and dark circles were forming under his eyes. He was looking like he just escaped from the nut house.
Junior went up to him and twisted his nipple. Betty didn’t smile or nothing, he was like a cigar store Indian. “What do you say my man.” Junior said. “You’re looking a little beat up there, Betty. After this, you know, after this job, we’re all going to sit down and figure this thing out. Probably just go and shoot that mutt tonight.”
“I got to drive my mother to Bingo and wait around in case she wins anything. But if it’s later, I’m game.”
“Why does she play that? Doesn’t she know that the priests fix those games, you know, to cheat you, so fuck Bingo and just trust me on that, all right? I knew a guy and he says that the priests used the Bingo money to go drinking with. I’m not shitting you either.”
“You always know a guy…” I said.
“That’s right, I keep my ear to the ground.”
“That’s why you have dog shit in your hair.” I tapped the side of his head.
“Hey, watch the hair, would you.”
Betty, just throw him in front of a taxi, would you, please.
“Yeah, just try it. I’ll take the two of you.” Junior was shadow boxing around us, throwing punches in the air. He bumped into some woman and she said, “Hey, would you watch it, will you. There are people here, you know.”
Junior stopped what he was doing. “Like where, lady? I don’t see anyone I recognize.”
“Don’t be a wiseass with me.” She said.
I waved to her. “He’s sorry, don’t encourage him, just keep walking and ignore him.”
“Whose side are you on, anyway?” Junior said, pretending that his feeling were hurt.
Let’s go do this, can we already? I’m getting hungry and I bet Betty is too.”
Betty just shrugged. Being in the city was always an added-on something. It kind of filled you with excitement or something. There were so many people and even during the morning on a Saturday things were hopping. Just everything had us almost bouncing up and down as we walked. “This is the place.” Betty said, pointing to an apartment building that had a shoe store on the first floor. We stopped and stood there together pretending to look at the shoes.
“When we get inside, I’ll put the gun in my belt. I mean inside the building, not the apartment. We go in and check things out. We go in and we’re totally mellow. After a while, like a couple of minutes, or something, I’ll stick them up. Anyone wants to be a tough guy, you handle them Betty.”
“You” He was pointing at me. “You watch the door, make sure no one comes in and crawls up our backs, simple, right? I’ll pretend the money is in the backpack.”
“Don’t shoot anyone because if you do, I promise I’ll kick your ass and leave you there. You hear what I’m saying?” I was pointing right back at him and he grabbed it and moved his hand up and down over it. “Stop jerking off. I’m not going to shoot anyone. This is like finding money on the street.”
So we ring the bell and get buzzed in. There was no elevator, so we walked up to like the third or forth floor and knocked on the door. Some tall skinny kid without a shirt on opened it and motioned us inside. The whole apartment stunk of weed and the kid looked dazed, like he had already smoked an early-morning bone. I remember what Junior said about the door and I hung back. Junior and Betty walked into a small living room and another kid was sitting on a couch watching cartoons. He seemed more stoned than his friend.
Junior started it. “So, by the looks of things, it seems that weed your selling is pretty good.”
Both kids laughed. “Yeah man,” the tall skinny one said, “it’s kicking our ass.”
I was standing behind Betty so that they really couldn’t see me. There was a door to my left that barely open. I pushed at it with my elbow and it swung open about half way. I poked my head in to make sure no one was hiding in there and saw a naked girl sleeping on a bed. She wasn’t covered or anything and her ass was kind of propped up in the air because of the way that she was sleeping. I tried not to look but couldn’t help it. I mean, it’s not everyday that you come across a naked girl, right?
Anyways, Junior is in the front room talking, all of it the usual shit, until he gets the skinny kid to show him the pot. The kid goes to a closet and pulls out a big trash bag and while he’s dragging it across the floor he asks if we have the money. Junior nods at him, shaking his head yes. “But first let’s see the weed.” He says.
These kids must have been stupid.
I mean, not that we looked like trouble but we probably did. And Betty, well, Betty looked like something else again. Me, I wouldn’t have let him in my house looking like that. But these kids were laughing at cartoons and just chit chatting away. I almost felt sorry for them. Anyway that’s what I’m thinking when Junior pulls the gun.
“We’re taking the weed, you understand. Move, and I’ll fucking shoot.”
Both kids looked at us from deep in the deepest pot-haze that you can imagine. It looked like they were staring at us from like two blocks away. I don’t think what Junior said to them registered.
“What, you don’t understand English? I said, we’re taking the pot. Now go over there and sit on the fucking couch.” They still didn’t move. Betty stepped across the room and herded them between his big arms toward the couch. When he had them in front of it he pushed them down on to it and said, “Stay there.” Then, he tightly wrapped the garbage bag by spinning it round and round and put it in Junior’s backpack.
I’m standing there watching the whole thing like it’s a television show or something. Maybe, I was even getting a contact high from all the pot smoke in the air. Anyway, I’m paying attention but at the same time kind of spacing out. The next thing I know, there is a slender arm being put around my neck and what I can only assume is a gun placed against my head. Then, I hear a girl’s voice. “Anyone moves and I’ll fucking shoot this twerp.”
Junior and Betty turn around and I can tell by the looks on their faces that we are fucked.
“I thought you were watching our backs? Jesus Christ.” Junior said.
The girl twisted me sideways to show them the gun she was holding. “I’m not fucking around here, I’m really not. So, the best thing to do is give the gun to him.”
“And do it now.” She yelled.
Junior looked more crest-fallen than anything. He looked like a little kid that was having a toy taken away from him.
“What’s the matter, you don’t understand English?” The girl was kind of laughing, like she was enjoying herself. Junior put the gun on a table and cursed under his breath.
“Now, sit on the couch with them.” She told Junior.
“And you, big man. Take the pot out of the bag and put it in the closet.” Betty did as he was told and tossed the bag into the closet.
Then she was talking to the tall skinny guy. “Check their pockets, see if they have any money. Take everything but leave them enough for the train. Cause if I see them around here again…” Her voice trailed off.
The skinny guy made Junior stand up and Junior was glaring at him the whole time. The kid pulled a money clip from his pocket and put it on the table next to the gun.
“Hey, my mother gave that to me.” Junior said. “You can’t take that.”
“Fuck you.” The girl said, her voice hissing past my ear. “My mother gave me the pot you were trying to steal. And she said, that pot meant a lot to her. So, shut up.”
Funny thing, I’m just standing there in the middle of everything with a gun sticking into the back of my head, basically minding my business when I realize that I’m starting to get a hard-on. I could feel this girl’s tits sort of moving against my back when she talked or moved. I sort of moved my hand over my crotch in case anyone noticed what was happening. Talk about bad timing.
“Now, get up and march your asses out of here. You try anything and I put a hole in his head.” She actually jabbed me with the barrel and it hurt. “And go back to Brooklyn where you belong. Stay there, too. If we see you again it’s not going to be pretty.”
Betty didn’t say anything and Junior was sulking. I think I was high because I felt like I was about to laugh. I mean, here we were three tough guys from Brooklyn and we were getting tanked by a naked girl waving a gun around, never mind that she was rubbing and down my back like some drunk girl in a club, or something. And yeah, I had a gun stuck in the back of my head, pretty funny.
Using me as a shield she turned me around and had me pointing at the door. “Let’s go. Bye, bye” She said. “The party is over. Out you go.”
I watched as Betty and Junior walked past me and felt her pushing me from behind. When they were outside in the dingy hallway, she gave me a shove out the door and slammed it behind me. Betty was shaking his head and Junior was bent over biting his knuckle. When he stood up I could see the bite marks on his hand. I knew from experience what was coming next, it usually started with him jumping in the air and his face looking like it was on the verge of tears.
I tried to gently push him down the hallway toward the stairs but he jumped again. And then the tantrum started.
“My mother gave me that money clip for my birthday. And the gun, that fucking gun, I paid good money for it. Who the fuck does she think she is ripping us off like that? What bullshit.” Then, he was looking at me. “I thought you were watching things. What the fuck? What’s your problem?”
“Fuck it, Junior. It’s one of those things. Let’s just walk away, go home. The girl was sleeping when I checked. I looked in the room. You don’t see a girl sleeping and than think that the next minute she’s going to have a gun at your head. And remember that, too. It was pointed at me the whole time.”
Betty chimed in. “Yeah, let’s go home. This thing was too good to be true and you know what they say -- if it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.”
Junior kicked the wall so hard that his sneaker disappeared into it. I mean like his whole foot was stuck in the wall. Just then the door of the apartment opens and the girl steps into the doorway. This time, she’s dressed but she’s holding the gun and one of the other kids is holding Junior’s gun and standing behind her.
“I thought I told you to beat it.” She said.
I was about to point to Junior, who was hopping up and down on one foot trying to get his foot out of the wall when she fired a shot into the floor in front of us. “The next time you won’t be so lucky.” She was aiming right at me.
I grabbed Junior by the shoulders and pulled. His foot came out of the wall in a cloud of plaster dust and we all turned and ran down the stairs. Betty, even at his size, was keeping up with us and we all burst out of the apartment door at the same time, like we were the Three Stooges, or something.
“Hey, look on the bright side.” I said. “They didn’t take my money.”
“There isn’t a bright side. That was bullshit.” Junior said, still seething. “I’m going back there, I’m telling you.”
“Oh, now you’re pissed. You got robbed trying to rob someone? That pisses you off?”
“Actually, yeah. Yeah, it does, we’re supposed to be good at this, it’s is our thing. You know what I’m saying. And some chick, some naked chick takes us down like that. Frankly, I’m fucking puzzled.” He was looking at me.
“Just fucking stop it all ready. I’m not arguing about this with you. It happens. And besides, how much fun would life be like if everything just happened the way it should, be fucking boring, right? And besides, she was giving me a hard-on standing behind me like that.”
Betty was laughing and Junior was staring at me. “You had a hard-on up there? Are you fucking kidding me, or what, a fucking hard-on? You’re standing there enjoying yourself, or something, like getting off or something! Jesus Fucking Christ. as God is my fucking judge. I’m up there in that apartment, that shit hole that smells like a bong, getting robbed blind by this chick and she’s giving you a hard-on? Just fucking priceless, I’m telling you.”
“Think of it this way, if you’d have seen her first, you might have shot her, right? You could have killed her. And how would that have felt? You shoot a girl, a young girl like that, kind of cute, and all, and your life is ruined, right off the bat. That kind of shit will keep you up at night. Think about that. Or she shoots you, and she wasn’t fucking around up there, how’s that look? Huh? People would be laughing at you every time you limped by. Hey, there’s the numb nuts that was shot by the girl, numb nuts is right. Something was looking out for u
s up there, like maybe the Holy Ghost, or something.”
Brooklyn 1975 Page 14