“It’s pretty up here.” Angela said. “Lot’s of famous people live here, just don’t ask me to name them.”
“So, who lives up here anyway? Like some rock stars, or something?”
“No, more like writers and artists. People like Norman Mailer. He lives up here somewhere.”
“Norman who? I asked.
“Never mind.”
As we walked I put my hand over her shoulder without thinking. She looked at me and smiled and tucked her thumb into a belt loop on the back of my pants. Funny, but we were getting closer by the second. It was like when you mixed Kool-Aid with water, we were changing into the same color. That sounds stupid, I know, but I can’t explain it.
“This is the beginning of something good.” She said. “Something important, important for the both of us. I can tell, even if it’s never happened to me before.”
“Aren’t you jumping the gun?” I asked. “I mean, we just met, right? I could be nothing like you expect.” At the same time I was thinking that she was amazing. I’d never met a girl like her, even though I wasn’t actually sure of what kind of girl she was. I was sort of like under a spell, like one of those people in “Rosemary’s Baby”. I mean, not all devilish or anything but in a way that pushed all the problems out of my head and allowed me to enjoy the exact minute while it was happening. It was like I was there instead of worrying or thinking about something else. Like when you were in kindergarten and the teacher called your name and you said “present”. That’s what it was like. I was present.
We walked up to the pathway that overlooked the river. The city was sitting up in the morning sun and the buildings were all squinting in the light. The skyline stretched out behind a line of bridges and we could hear the cars rumbling underneath us on the BQE. Without thinking, I said, “I’ll break up with Erica on Monday after school. She’s writing some papers this weekend so I don’t want to upset her. You know, school is important to her.”
Angela looked at me. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do? I’m not forcing you into anything.”
“Yeah, I mean no. I know you’re not. I’m just confused. I have a lot of shit going on at the moment.” I felt like I could tell her anything and that’s pretty much what I did for the next hour. It all just came pouring out and the more I talked the better I felt. It was like a weight was being lifted off of me, like a big one. I told her about Rainie and Melo, and how Big Mike was just killed. I told her about my mother and my father being in jail.
Like she said, she was a good listener. She never interrupted or criticized me. After I explained to her what happened with Melo she said that her father would take care of everything for me.
“Why get him involved?” I asked.
“Why not? He’s my father. He’ll take care of it.”
“Like how?” I asked, never doubting that he could.
“How do I know? One way or the other, he’ll fix it for you, trust me.”
“But this is happening now.” I said. “Like today. He’ll catch back up to us soon.”
“When I go home, I’ll talk to him, tell him that it’s important. I promise.”
“What’s he going to do, whack Melo for us?
She shook her head. “No. Well, I guess that’s up to Melo, isn’t it? If he what’s to be a typical asshole, I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know how my father handles these things. He doesn’t talk to me about his business. I’ll see what he says. There, one problem solved. See, I told you this was going to work out.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it. Not that I don’t trust you or nothing.”
Angela pointed over to the city. “When I get out of high school, I’m moving into the city. I’ll live there a year and see what’s what. See if I like it, maybe write some stuff and read some poems at St. Marks. You know, start becoming a real poet.”
“What about college?” I asked.
“Oh that, too, I think. I’m going to take a year off, though. See what the city is like.”
“It’s a fucking mess over there. You’ll get mugged while you’re getting mugged. I’m serious.”
She laughed. “You can’t get mugged while getting mugged. I’ll stay down in Little Italy. My father has a building there. My grandmother lives in one of the apartments.”
“Oh, so much for living alone.”
“She won’t bother me, trust me. And besides, it’s the safest part of the city. They take care of things over there.”
They were the wise guys and what she said was true. “But that’s like just a couple of blocks. What about the rest of the city? Are you just going to stay down there, you’ll get fat, all that food.”
“I’ll be fine, you watch and see. Nothing bad ever happens to me. It just can’t.”
There was something about the way that she said it, about nothing bad happening to her, that made me shiver. I don’t know what it was. Maybe I was thinking about bad things happening to me. Anyway, it didn’t last and I forgot about it. “You go to the city a lot?” She asked, pointing over there again.
“Yeah, me and Junior go there a lot. Sell pot, go out, you know, get some drinks. Junior knows a lot of people over there.”
“Where do you go?”
“Mostly, this place called Max’s. You’d like it, lot’s of writers and artists. Lot’s of freaks, too. We stopped by after the prom but decided not to stay. It was too crowded.”
“Oh, yeah. I heard about that. The Hells Angels, right?”
“Who told you that?”
“A little birdie.”
“So, we had a problem. No big deal. We weren’t looking for trouble. Come on, who told you?”
“The whole school knows already. Forget who told me.”
“That Junior has a big mouth.” I said. “He’s always yakking away.”
“You do a pretty good job yourself, yakking that is.” There was a bench and Angela guided me to it by tugging at my belt loop. “Sit down.” She said. “Enough talking for this morning.”
I sat down and she knelt over me and leaned down to kiss me on the mouth. I tried to make a joke about kissing on the first date but it was swallowed up by her kiss. She started slowly and then stopped to tuck her hair behind her ears without ever closing her eyes. She tasted like garlic and there were little flecks of it stuck to her teeth. I tried to stay serious but started to laugh.
“What? What are you laughing at? You laughing at me?”
“Yeah, I’m laughing at you. I kissed a lot of girls, at least my share of them but you…”
“You what?”
“You’re pretty garlicky.”
We both started laughing and she slid off of me and sat beside me. She was right about talking because we just sat there and stared at the city without ever saying another word.
Chapter Seven
After Angela dropped me off I went upstairs to check on Rainie. She was up and watching television with my mother. Luckily, Baba had gone home. I put my hands on Rainie’s head and she looked up at me. “Are you O.K.?’ I asked.
She nodded her head. “It’s nothing.”
“No.” I said, “It’s something. But don’t worry because we’re taking care of it for you.”
“Whose we?” My mother asked. “I want to know because this has got to stop. What I should do is call your father, even though I don’t want to upset him, he’ll take care of it, even if he’s upstate. Nobody is going to hit my daughter again, nobody.”
“I know, Ma. Just relax. We’re handling it.”
Who?”
What? You’re like an owl. Who? Who? Don’t worry. Junior and I are taking care of it. I promise it won’t happen again.”
Rainie just sat there shaking her head. “Erica called again and so did Junior. He said it was important.”
I looked at her sitting there in her big puffy robe and she looked like she was twelve years old instead of twenty. What the fuck was Melo thinking? What an animal. What a piece of shit. But don’t get me started, right. May
be everything would just take care of itself. Maybe, just maybe, this could be handled the right way for once and not in the usual messy way things in Brooklyn always ended up. Someone, even Angela’s father, would step up and take care of this for us. Melo would just go away one way or the other. At this point, I didn’t even care if he got whacked. So what? He deserved it, right? And who knows what else he was up to, I mean, it could be anything. What a sick fuck.
“I’m using your phone, Rainie. I’ll just be a minute. I’m going to call Erica and Junior. I’ll be right back.”
“I’m watching T.V. with Ma, take your time.” She said. “Just don’t be touching my stuff.”
When I was in her room, I shut the door and lay down on the bed. Some tissues were lying there and I tucked them under a pillow before propping myself up on it. I dialed Erica first. Her mother answered without saying hello back to me and called Erica. I could hear Erica through the line in her bedroom tell her Mom to hang up.
“I got it Mom, now hang up.”
I waited until I heard her mother put the phone down and said hello. Actually, I said, “What’s up?”
“Nothing. I have three papers to write this weekend and I’m not doing anything else until they are done. Don’t you have work due on Monday too?”
“Uh, I’m not sure. I’ll check on Monday and see what I need to do. What else is going on?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“Why don’t you know what you need to do?” She asked me, sounding sort of aggravated.
“Why don’t you mind your own business, you get your straight A’s, I’ll get what I get. Besides, I wasn’t at school on Friday. What am I, a mind-reader?” And just as I said it, it reminded me of Angela. Like what was I saying about mind reading, I couldn’t remember, exactly. Maybe it was something she said. Anyway, while I wasn’t planning on it something must have clicked in my head.
“Listen, Erica. I know how close we are and everything but I’m getting tired of you trying to run my life. I mean, I know you mean well and everything but I’m not perfect like you, and never will be. My life isn’t orderly like yours, you know what I’m saying, and not that some of it isn’t my fault. I’m just… I’m tired, like I said…”
I couldn’t say the words. Not over the phone at least.
“You’re tired of what? Me caring? Like that’s a bad thing? So, maybe I should just sit there in a catatonic state and smoke cigarettes like your mother. Is that what you consider caring? Is it?”
Hey, leave my mother out of this, would you.”
“She cares” I said, at least half-believing it.
“So, what are you getting at anyway? What are you saying? You want to break up with me. Is that it?”
Like I said, I couldn’t say the words but she did. I waited a minute and didn’t say anything. Erica waited too.
“Oh, so that is it. You’re calling to break up with me. You’re breaking up with me over the phone. I thought you’re some big tough guy, big football star. Yeah, you and Junior, two tough guys, maybe you should go out together.” I think she was beginning to cry.
“Stop, Erica.” I said, starting to feel bad.
“Don’t tell me to stop. You can’t tell me anything anymore. I hate you. And if you think that you can break-up with me over the phone then you’re insane. And after two years…”
The line didn’t go dead but it sounded like she dropped the phone.
Then, I realized, she was coming over. So I did a quick calculation and figured that even if she was running that it would take her at least ten minutes to get here. And since I’d never seen her run anywhere, I figured I’d have enough time to call Junior and get out of here.
I called Junior’ house and he answered. “I can’t talk here. Meet me somewhere.”
“O.K where?” I asked.
“Meet me on the subway, on the platform. The Gravesend Station on the going to the city side. You know what I mean?”
“Wait for me there. I’ll be there in minute.”
So, once again I was flying out the door. I stopped before going out and told Rainie that Erica might be coming over and to tell her I went out looking for her. Then I grabbed a bagel and raced down the stairs. I was almost expecting to run into Erica outside my building but last time I checked she wasn’t an Olympic sprinter. I took a bite of the bagel and decided the best way to get to the subway without running into her. To do that I had to circle around, about two blocks out of my way and then cut back to the subway stop.
When I got there, I haggled with the token guy because I wanted to use my school pass. He said it was Saturday and they weren’t any good. I told him I had a meeting at school and hopped over the turnstile.
When I got up to the platform there was no sign of Junior. In fact there was no one else up there. After a minute or so of waiting I could see the bushes moving under the platform across the tracks. It was Junior sneaking on through a hole in the fence. When he saw me, he stood up and waved.
“Be careful crossing. Watch the third rail.”
“What am I, a little kid?” Junior said.
He crossed over and lifted himself up onto the platform the same way you’d get out of a pool.
“Man, it’s dirty under there.” He said, while brushing himself off. “Smells like piss, too. Still, I’m not paying a dime to ride these shit cans covered with nigger scribbles.”
I ignored him because I liked how the trains looked, big painted “Ski-Doo’s” and whatever. I thought it looked cool. “Maybe, if you paid once in while they would have the money to clean them up.”
“There’s not enough money in the world to clean these trains. You need to take them somewhere and burn them. And before you burn them, you need to build a fence around them so that when the rats try to escape they can’t. And besides, you didn’t pay either, right? You never pay.”
“But I don’t complain about them, do I?’
“Yeah, I forgot. You think that they are clean and safe. Like you can just fall asleep on DeKalb Ave. and wake up without being stabbed. Never mind being asleep, you could be awake.”
“So, where we going anyway?” I asked. “And why are you wearing a backpack? What are you in the Cub Scouts, or something?”
“Fuck you. We’re going to the city and buy like ten pounds of pot. Betty is going to meet us there. Some place by NYU. There are some stupid college kids selling weed.”
“And where are we getting the money to buy all this weed?” I asked.
“We’re not buying it, you jerk. We’re stealing it. Like this is a stick-up. You know, with the gun and everything. That’s why the old school wise guys call it a money-maker.”
What’s a money-maker?” I asked, not following him.
The gun. What are you dense today or something? Betty found out about this from some kids. We take the weed, put it on the street and everything is profit, cut down the middle three ways.”
Just then, I could see the single light of the M Train off in the distance. It was probably pulling out of the Sheepshead Bay Station. “If I knew we was going to the city I would have dressed better. Why didn’t you say something?’
“No time. We have to get over there early. Why anyone wants to do business in the morning, I don’t know. But Betty says it’s on.”
Brooklyn 1975 Page 13