by Emily Snow
“I didn’t plan on you either, Ryder.”
“When possible death stared me in the face, my only regret was that I never told you that I loved you. I love you, Kay, more than anything. My love for you is hotter than the sun and deeper than the ocean. I’d know because I’ve been to the bottom in a submarine. I spent the rest of my time in that dark abyss looking forward to the time … when we could be together. Forever.”
The words struck her. I watched as her face seemed to burst with emotion. I wasn’t quite sure if it was good or bad.
“What do you say, Kay?” I urged her, emotions stirring inside of me so quickly I thought I might pass out. “Do you want to pull me out of that dark abyss?”
“Oh my God, Ryder.”
“Please,” I begged her. “I need you to say the word.”
“Yes, Ryder,” she finally said, tears in her eyes. “Yes! I’ll marry you!”
“I’m sorry I don’t have a ring yet. We’ll go and pick that out together once I get things figured out. I can’t wait to marry you, Kay.”
Epilogue
Two years later
With her help, I healed to the point I was ready to start my life anew.
She reached for the door. “Open the door or we’re going to be late!” she squealed.
I fished the keys out of my pocket. She was still fixing her dress back into place. She looked like she had been thoroughly rolled in the grass.
“I can’t believe you’re going to let us be late for your parent’s anniversary party,” I said.
She opened her mouth like a fish. “Me? You’re the one who tricked me into giving you a quick roll in the hay quite literally!”
“I stand corrected, that was me.”
I leaned over to give her one more kiss before I started the old Charger. I couldn’t help myself when we drove past the spot I had asked her to be my wife.
As we drove down to her family’s home, I was happy and content. This woman knew me, the real me. And she loved every part. The little negatives and insecurities I once felt were nothing in comparison to the love she gives me every day. I found the perfect person to be by my side. I really, truly, madly love this woman. I had a dream that I never knew I wanted, and when I least expected it, the dream came true. I had found someone to love.
In The Shadows
Copyright © MJ Fields 2016
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of MJ Fields, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
1st Edition Published:
Published by MJ Fields
Edits by: C&D editing
2nd Edits by: Josie Charles
Proof by: D. Holtry
Thank you for downloading/purchasing this ebook. This ebook and its contents are the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied, or distributed for commercial or noncommercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download/purchase their own copy at Smashwords.com, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.
*Disclaimer*
This book contains mature content not suitable for those under the age of 18. It involves strong language and sexual situations. All parties portrayed in sexual situations are consenting adults over the age of 18.
Play list
Unsteady by X -Ambassaders
Loser - 3 Doors Down
Til It Happens To You - Lady Gaga
Bring Me To Life - Evanescence
Hush – HELLYEAH
Shadows
Born with nothing and to no one, Jebadiah Shadows was one of the lost boys. Lost in poverty and raised in a trailer park by parents who lived off the government and never worked outside of the home. Inside the home, they blew their government checks on drugs and booze.
There was never enough food on the table for him and his sister, so Jeb took care of her as best he could, feeding her food from neighboring women who took a liking to him.
When his sister fell prey to the vicious cycle of drug abuse, she also fell in with the wrong crowd. Drugs and depression took her to a place she could not return from. And when she died, Jeb lost his mind and his desire to get out of the park.
After hospitalizing four men for a heinous crime, he was incarcerated. The judge, a retired Navy officer, made Shadows do his time, but when he got out of juvenile detention, the judge took him under his wing.
Jebadiah Shadows worked his ass off to get into Annapolis Naval Academy. Then he worked even harder to get through it. While there, he met three men whom he bonded with: Jaxson Irons, a third generation Naval Officer whose family’s political ties and aspirations would lead him to the White House. Tanner Titan, whose academic testing scores were in the top two percent of the country and who was a genius, but he only wanted to be a Navy officer, a pilot, a hero. And William Cruz, a third generation Mexican-American, whose family was stronger than any Shadows had ever known.
When William Cruz was killed during a training mission, the brotherhood of four became three. The plans they had made to follow Jaxson to the highest position in the United States of America, to be his support and confidants, to make the changes our country needed didn’t change. It was still what they all wanted … until last year.
When Jaxson fell in love with William’s sister, his parents objected. They demanded he stick with the plan. Therefore, a marriage to Francesca Cruz was forbidden. When Jaxson went against their wishes, though, all hell broke loose. Francesca was jumped, and Jaxson’s helicopter crashed yet he survived. However, due to his injuries and circumstances, he had to take a medical retirement, and his family’s deepest, darkest secrets were revealed, causing Jaxson to turn his back on the plans they had made for him.
Still, the brotherhood the men had formed was stronger than any threat, and the plan was altered, but not forgotten.
Shadows and Titan continue to serve the country, and they deploy tomorrow. They will fly two by two for the first time ever while Jaxson stays ashore and tries to figure out what comes next.
Introduction
A lamb is a sheep under a year old. As with most young animals, they depend on their mothers during that time for food, leadership, and nurturing.
Unbeknownst to a young, pure, innocent creature, they are protected from the dangers lurking around corners, and in the shadows. When they grow and become aware, they exhibit a flocking behavior, following their natural way, believing there is safety in groups of like kinds. Their almost blind instinct to follow a leader is so strong it sometimes fails to produce the effect they seek—refuge from their predators.
Wolf pups are born in litters, underground, visible to no one outside of their den. They are blind and deaf. Their survival is dependent on their mother. She regulates their body temperature and feeds them every four to six hours. She doesn’t leave them, because if she did, they would die.
Members of the pack bring food for her to eat while she takes on the task of keeping her pups alive.
Wolves are believed to mate for life. Once sexually matured, a wolf will leave their birth pack with their mate to find new territory. In the case of a true Alpha wolf, they seek to start their own pack or take over an existing one. If they are not the strongest, they become part of a new pack, their new family by choice or circumstance.
Both animals know there is strength in numbers, but only one instinctually leaves to become the strongest, to become a leader, to capture its prey with a clear and distinct focus on devouring it in order to survive.
Prologue
Shadows
Mary Ward was one
of two college roommates of my best friend and fellow soldier, Jaxson Irons’ new wife Francesca at Old Dominion in Norfolk, Virginia. Francesca, or Frankie, is also the sister to another friend, a brother, a fellow helicopter pilot who died during a search and rescue mission, William Cruz.
Jaxson, Titan, William, and I formed a stronger bond than even the military could provide. Although we were all property of the United States Navy, we were friends, brothers, and family first.
I met Mary when shit got ugly for Frankie, and she got jumped. Jaxson needed to find out if it was her ex or brought on by his family’s political ties.
I ended up staying with them while he went in search of answers. Being left behind to look after the women aggravated me. The annoyance passed, however, when the five-foot-three, raven-haired, blue-eyed, pale-skinned vision made my chest rumble as our eyes met.
Women look at me in many ways: lust, want, desire, appreciatively, with excitement, with anticipation, need, even hope. No one ever looked at me the way she did that day. No one looked at me with the type of fear I saw in her when she first saw me. No look ever affected me the way that one, in that moment, affected me.
For months, I have caged my desire and fought back the need to capture my prey. I have watched her fight her own desire, mask her confusion, and listen to the words she says yet doesn’t mean.
I have studied her. I know who she is and what she is running from. I know what she is running to and why. I know what makes her the way she is, and I want to show her how to leave behind the false protection of the flock she surrounds herself with.
I want to dominate her and break her down, and then I want to build her up. I want to slaughter the lamb and watch Mary rise from the ruins, a strong, unbreakable woman who will never be a victim again.
The time to hunt, capture, and play is over. There is no time. Tomorrow, I leave for a mission, but first, I will finish what I started here.
Tonight, I will slaughter the lamb.
Tomorrow, I will leave to defend my country.
Does this make me a selfish bastard? No. It makes me exactly who she needs me to be.
Chapter One
Shadows
Dinner
Tonight, Jaxson Irons and his wife Francesca are hosting a sendoff dinner at their Norfolk beach house. Titan and I leave in the morning for a mission for our country.
Jaxson is usually with us. This time, he won’t be. I know it’s killing him, too. Hell, it’s killing me, but I won’t let him know that. I am proud of who he is, who he has become, and who he is destined to be.
William Cruz’s parents are here, and I know, after the death of their son, this must be hard as hell for them, but they have a reason other than William to still be involved. Their daughter Francesca has married their son’s best friend. It would most likely be a more emotional night if it weren’t also a celebration.
I have another reason to keep the mood light. Mary is here.
Mary Ward has become somewhat of an obsession of mine. I have tried to step back. Hell, I have fucked others, hoping to get her out of my system. Why? Because of who I am and what I do. I never wanted to claim someone before. At times, I even thought the stress surrounding me and my friends brought on this need.
The need to consume, own, claim.
I have toyed with her like a well-fed cat does its prey. I have circled, watched, intimidated, waited for the feeling to leave, but it hasn’t.
Tonight, I will have her. Tomorrow, I will leave her.
Jax and Frankie have been gone a while, so when they walk outside, I can’t help bringing to light the obvious.
“What was going on in there?” I ask.
Frankie gives me the eye. “Just getting Lily to sleep.”
I look at Jax and raise my eyebrow. He doesn’t have on the same clothes as he did during dinner. Frankie knows it, too.
“And Jaxson changed.”
“We need to talk.” Jax says, rubbing his wife’s back. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to change the subject. “Frankie and I originally invited you all here for a sendoff dinner, but a couple of things happened today. First, Colonel Smith, Francesca, and I had a chat about the Governor’s race. We all knew it would happen someday, just not this soon. We have planned and plotted since we were plebes to make sure all of us took these steps toward the White House together—my brothers, my cabinet, the men I trust the most. But this little change in our plan could shake things up. It’s risky. If I lose, we all lose.”
I don’t like it, not at all. Jaxson has made some formidable enemies.
“Then don’t run,” I say. “Let Smith run. You be lieutenant governor. Then you run on your own or shoot for the presidency. Deveroux is a snake. He may not be behind all of the shit, but he damn sure—”
“I’m not sure he’s anything more than a man who got caught up in a game, just like my grandfather and father.” Jax shrugs.
Titan pops in. “If you are hell-bent on taking him out of the game—and you should be—I say let’s do this.”
“Aren’t you leaving tomorrow?” Mary asks, briefly glancing at me.
“Little lamb, you sound concerned. Are you?”
Jax clears his throat, and I look at him.
“I promised you I would behave, so I’ll leave the … shearing for another day. I’m simply asking a question that arose from the concern in the little lamb’s voice.” This is total bullshit. I have a plan, but it’s a one-man mission; they don’t need to be involved at this point.
“Shadows,” Frankie gasps.
Sometimes, I just can’t help myself.
“It’s okay, Francesca, I can handle this.” Little lamb turns to me. “Of course I’m concerned. You all fight to keep us safe, to help others stay safe and risk your lives doing so. It’s admirable.”
“Mmm-hmmm.” I lick my lips. I can’t fucking help it.
“My parents,” Frankie hisses.
“Right.” I nod, keeping my eyes locked on my prey.
“I’m sure we can discuss this further in the morning. If he isn’t interested in the presidency and you think it’s the safest bet, do it, son.” Frankie’s dad yawns then looks at his wife. “You ready for bed?”
The Cruzs’ each hug Titan and me, wish us luck, saying when we get home, they expect the same plans we did tonight: eating dinner and enjoying the company of a family Will brought together.
Once they walk back inside, Jax looks at Mary and Renee. “You’ve proven you are good friends to my wife, and I hope, if we move forward, you two can be a big part of the future plans for this family. If you want in, say the word when you are ready. Renee, you have a year left; have you secured an internship yet?”
“No.” She smiles.
“If you want one, you’ve got it. Mary, have you decided on your concentration?” he asks.
“She is double majoring in history and political science,” Renee answers for her.
“Interesting.” I chuckle, knowing damn well she was undecided when I told her what I knew she should do. “Now, what may I ask brought that on, little lamb?”
Her face grows red, and Renee chimes in, “She has a roommate in the program, a built-in study partner, and history isn’t that far removed from politics. Don’t flatter yourself, buddy. She has a boyfriend.”
“Well, thank fuck for that.” I narrow my eyes and lean toward Mary. “A boy can’t be all that fun to play with, little lamb, but a man, especially one in uniform, can rock your fucking world.”
Titan laughs and takes a drink. “And two is better than one.”
“That’s sick,” Renee gasps.
“Don’t knock it till you try it.” Titan winks at her, and she grows red in the face.
“Anytime you ladies want that to stop, let me know.” Jax looks at us then back at the girls. “Mary, if you want an internship, you have it, too.” He points to me and Titan, telling her, “They won’t be in the governor’s mansion.”
“No, little lamb,” I tell her, my eyes fi
xed on her again. “We’ll be in uniform, protecting your sweet, little asses from the shit you can’t see around you. As a thank you, I would gladly show you what’s underneath the uniform when I come back to shore.”
Mary looks at me. “You come back safe, and we’ll discuss.”
I nearly spit out my beer. Oh, shit, she’s coming out of her shell, and I am fucked up. Not a good mix.
“We can start that tour right now, little lamb. Let you see what you’re in for when I get home.”
She shakes her head and looks at Jax, totally ignoring me. “Will Frankie be returning to school?”
“We haven’t had time to discuss—”
“Yes. I am going to look at online classes. I will finish,” She walks over and sits on Jax’s lap.
“Love you, angel,” he says.
“Say it again.” She beams.
He winks. “I’ll say it forever.”
She hugs him and looks at her friends. “Renee, do you still know people who run the college newspaper and radio station?”
She nods. “Yes.”
“Good. We need to start a push to get people to register to vote using social media. Any good at that?” Frankie asks.
“That’s Mary’s forte.” Renee smiles.
“Well, I’m learning,” she says quietly.
“Better than nothing. Jax, we need them,” Frankie tells him, not knowing the discussion is already on the table.
“I already offered internships.”
“That was nice, but we need them for more than that. We can reach a different demographic. Smith and the three of you will have the military connections. I hope to have national and local media, as well as the ‘minority’ voters eating out of my hand by election day. Smith and you will also have the good old white boys and—”