by Emily Snow
“Brant,” he mumbles grabbing for me and pulling me into a hug. “Man, I am so sorry for putting us in that position.”
“Gary. You can’t blame yourself for that. No one knew that was going to happen and blaming yourself is only going to make it harder. Let’s go and check on Lance.” I try to pull away from him, but he clings to me as if I’m his lifeline.
“Man, I don’t know what I’d have done if something bad would have happened to you. You’re the only person who’s ever stuck around long enough to deal with me and all my crazy.” His eyes are trying to focus but from the amount of alcohol he’s consumed, it’s hard.
“It’s gonna be okay, Gary. I’m not sending your crazy ass anywhere. You’re one of my ride or die guys. I will always look after you.” I pat him on the back before pulling away. “But, maybe you should stay back and get some rest. No offense, but you look horrible.”
He laughs before speaking. “I need to do this. I need to see what happened to the guy in the Humvee.”
“Then grab some coffee and let’s go,” I grunt as I take my cup of steaming hot coffee Vince has brought me. That was something that guy always knew I needed. I could always count on him to make sure I had black coffee and Tylenol after a binge night of alcohol and a woman in my bed.
“Sure thing,” he mutters as Vince hands him a coffee and some Tylenol. I want to laugh because the guy seems to have an endless supply of shit. If there ever happened to be a zombie apocalypse like The Walking Dead, I would want him on my team. He is always prepared for anything.
“Vince. When we get home, I wanna talk about some changes we will be implementing.” His eyes go wide, but he recovers quickly nodding. “Now, let’s go see this soldier.
Walking into the medical camp just outside of the base was humbling. They didn’t have a real hospital nearby and because Lance was critical they’d had to perform surgery here. They had all the equipment needed to do this, but they didn’t have the facilities. This was something I took notice of and once I was back home, I would make sure that they had the money to build this to one of the best facilities they could make it. I’d be donating a good chunk of money to this cause.
The smell that I can only associate with hospitals assaults me as we walk down the hall to the room where Lance is. Opening the door, my heart breaks as I see the man lying in bed, eyes closed resting in what seems like a peaceful slumber. His leg, or what is left of it is wrapped in gauze and held up in the air, in traction, by one of those braces to elevate it. It looks as if it got taken off right below his knee. I’d make sure this man had the best of the best for his care as well. This was our fault, whether anyone else believes that or not. I sure as hell do. Had we not been out there, he wouldn’t be laying here right now. He wouldn’t have had to come to our rescue.
I take in his ashen skin and the golden color of his buzzed hair. It makes it look almost as if he doesn’t have any at all. Walking over to his side, I place my hand on his arm, causing him to jerk and wake up from his sleep.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” I look down, apologetically for waking him.
“It’s okay. You being here speaks volumes for what kind of a man you are.” He gives me a smile and I am blown away by the man in front of me. After everything he’s gone through, he smiles.
“I know it isn’t enough, but I want to apologize for what happened to you,” I squeeze his arm, trying to hold myself together. The last thing I’d need is to sit here, looking like a pussy for crying.
“Man, this is something I knew could happen. It isn’t your fault. You didn’t set off that bomb.” He reaches over slowly, grabs my hand in his other one as his gray eyes meet my brown ones. “This would have happened eventually. They would have done this with or without you. You can’t let yourself be consumed by the guilt because it isn’t your fault. You have to move on and I’m not mad.”
“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I was the one missing my leg,” Gary mutters and I want to strangle him. I have never wanted to kill anyone more than I want to kill him in this very moment.
“What my inconsiderate friend means is, we appreciate the sacrifice that you’ve made. I’m going to make sure you have the best care, because whether you feel it or not, I know this wouldn’t have happened to you if we’d have stayed at the compound.” He smiles as I finish my statement.
“Thank you very much, but you don’t have to.” He winces in pain as he moves in his bed. “I knew what I was signing up for when I did it.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Actually yes.” He smiles again before looking me in the eyes. “I’m a big fan. Do you think you could sing Back For More? It’s my favorite one. I always seem to go back to it. Reminds me of my fiancé back home.”
“Well of course. I’ll send Vince for my guitar.” He nods as he walks away. I know he’s doing what I ask without question.
We sit with Lance for a few hours, talking and getting to know a man who was ready to sacrifice so much for his country, to protect and serve. It makes me hope that I would have been a man like him had I not become the man I am now. My plane is leaving in an hour but I can’t seem to pull myself away from these people. They’ve accepted my boys and I as if we were a member of their clan. We were welcomed into their family and it felt amazing.
“So Lance,” I say as I strum the chords on the guitar after singing Back For More.
“Yes sir?”
“ I wrote something yesterday while I was waiting for the concert. Would you like to hear the snippet of what it is?” When his face lights up I can tell he’s excited.
“I’d love to!”
“Great, because I think its going to be a big hit at the Memorial Day concert we are doing at LSU this weekend coming.” I strum the guitar, trying to remember the chords I made with the words the day before. “Bear with me, it’s really rusty because I haven’t really had time to polish it up.”
“I think you’ll do great.” He says with a big smile, before wincing in pain again. I watch Vince walk out of the room before coming back with a nurse who immediately gives Lance a shot of something that I assume is his pain medication.
“Well, let’s get this going before you fall asleep on me.” I smile as the chords start to become a melody, and I begin.
Walking around this old town, where everyone knows my name.
Makes me want to get away from the same old thing.
Leaving this town was something I always said I’d do,
But sitting here now I don’t want to go.
As I watch the people around me, smiling as they go,
They will never know that they are leading me home.
As I remember my time in that desert of pain,
The one thing that kept me sane was the memories,
The memories that led me home.
Seeing my friend battered and torn, some even wishing they’d never been born
I realize that I was lucky to walk away, not broken or worn.
I was lucky enough to make it back, while some of them were attacked.
My brothers and sisters who gave it all, but would still stand strong and tall.
As I watch the people around me, smiling as they go,
They will never know that they are leading me home.
As I remember my time in that desert of pain,
The one thing that kept me sane was the memories,
The memories that led me home.
Reminiscing on the beers I shared with them
I’ll remember the good times I had
Because some of them will never be back again.
But, the memories I had will forever change me.
Into the person I was meant to be.
As I watch the people around me, smiling as they go,
They will never know that they are leading me home.
As I remember my time in that desert of pain,
The one thing that kept me sane was the memories
,
The memories that led me home.
Everyone is quiet as the song comes to an end. Gary is looking at me in awe as he sits there and watches for Lance’s reaction. I don’t really know if I deserve the pride that is pouring through any of their eyes.
“That was amazing. Thank you for this song. It’s going to be a huge hit.” Lance yawns and I know it’s time for us to leave so he can get some rest.
“Thank you. Lance, I have one more gift to give you before we leave for the airport.”
“What is that?” He tries to sit up, but the medicine is making it hard for him.
“This,” I hold the guitar up in front of him. It was the very first guitar I ever owned and as much as it means to me, I knew it would mean something more to him.
“I couldn’t take this.” He starts to drift off and I smile.
“Yes you can, and it’s now yours. Just take good care of her. She’ll do you right if you do her right,” I smile. I put her in the box as his eyes close. The least I could do was give him something that I cherished because after all, he’d given his leg. What was a guitar when compared to a man’s leg.
“That was amazing,” Gary says as we exit the building and get into the SUV to make our way to the airport.
“Coming here was, for sure.” I say softly as I look out the window and take in our surroundings. “It made me appreciate everything I have and more.”
“I know that feeling man,” he mutters as he gets out of the car that has just stopped on the tarmac. I may not have realized what I had before, but as of right now I would cherish everything that I got. “I’m going to crash as soon as I hit this seat,” he mutters and I have no doubt that he will. We both have experienced some shit this week and in a way, it was for the best.
Looking around the label’s private jet, I want to hurl. Before this week, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest to have this lap of luxury, but being here while all of those men and women were living the way they were, was now appalling to me. I knew it was a choice they made, but we should probably give them a lot more respect than we do.
The one thing this week overseas with these amazingly selfless people taught me, was that life was precious. At any moment you could lose it. It could be gone in a flash.
As we waited for the plane to take off, I did something I hadn’t done in a while. I always signed on to messenger to see if she was around, but she hadn’t been in about a year. So, this time, I logged into the e-mail server and sent the one woman who owned my heart since I was eighteen years old, a message. Hopefully we’d come into contact with each other, but maybe we wouldn’t. I’d invite her to meet me at the concert in Baton Rouge, Memorial Day. If she came, I’d get her front row tickets. I just hoped like hell that she’d show up. Because I realized that I didn’t want to be who I’d been when I came here. I wanted to be the man that I was supposed to be.
Hitting send, I shut the computer. I’d never expected to learn something so profound from this experience. But, in coming here to bring a little bit of home to these soldiers, I gained something myself. They led me back home, in a sense. They led me back to the man I was before Hollywood took over. I needed to ground myself and seeing that people were sleeping in a cot, one that barely rivaled a toddler bed in width, I’d learned that I was way too entitled. I’d sold my soul to the Devil, but starting today I was going to live for myself. I’d become me again, not Brant Marks.
Amanda Lanclos lives in a small town right outside of Baton Rouge. She is a full time mother to two beautiful babies as well as a bad little furbaby. She has been married to her wonderful husband for five years now and is hoping to have eighty more! She was inspired to write by so many amazing authors. She spends most of her time chasing after those little ones as well as coordinating Booking in Biloxi author event. If you’d like to know more about upcoming books and things happening with Amanda please like her on Facebook! Also, if you’d like to tell her what you thought she would love to hear it!
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Courageous (Vipers Creed MC Military Novella)
©Ryan Michele 2016
Prologue
Gabriella
Hey, baby,
I’m lying in bed as I write you, thinking of nothing but you. I never knew how long seven months were until now. With each month that ticks by, I keep hoping I’ll be able to hear from you. I know you’re doing great things, and I hope you are getting these letters. I’m so proud of you yet miss you, love you, and can’t wait to hold you in my arms.
Love always and forever,
Gabriella
***
Xander
Shots flew over my head so close the whizzing of the bullets stung my ears. Bombs exploded all around, making the desert an enormous dust cloud. The air was so dense it got into your eyes, making them rough as sandpaper. I needed to clean them out, but I didn’t have time.
Death never had a timeframe. It crept into every nook and cranny, just waiting for the perfect time to take you.
I pushed off the building, looking around the corner into more film. Blinking rapidly to unclog some of the haze, I saw the enemy wasn’t in sight. Then, using hand signals, I motioned to my Marine brothers, giving them the go sign. We each followed into step, our weapons at the ready and bodies humming with alertness.
We needed to get out of here, get to the safe location. As a RECON Marine, our mission to infiltrate a well-known enemy camp had been a bust. They’d started shooting at us as soon as we’d gotten into formation, which meant something or someone had tipped them off. Now, we needed to survive this mess.
Shots hit the dirt next to my feet. I jumped, moving to the right, the opposite way, and lifting my gun. Seeing the enemy, I aimed and fired, taking him out with one shot. My brothers then began their descent, taking out a row of attackers as we moved back.
“Fuck!” Carrington exclaimed as he fell to his knees, blood rushing out of his leg.
Dustfield, the team medic, kneeled down next to him, pulling out a strip of fabric and tying off Carrington’s leg. It would be the best he could do until we got to safety. After he was done, Dustfield helped Carrington to his feet while the rest of our team, including myself, gave them cover.
We moved quickly, shots ringing in every direction. Some were from us, some from them. The sound was almost like music if you found the screams of dying men melodic.
Head in the game.
I reached for the comm. button on my shoulder. “Team Whiskey Foxtrot Lima. We need a bird.”
The crackle came through our ear pieces immediately. “Roger that, Whiskey Foxtrot Lima. ETA: eight minutes till Kilo Echo Charlie touches ground.”
We continued to move backward to get to the location the chopper was set to meet us, shooting for our lives.
Minutes that felt like hours later, a chopper could be heard in the distance—our ticket out of this dusty hell hole. We rushed toward the steady thump of the blades, somehow avoiding the bullets fired by the insurgents.
Seeing the helicopter, I wanted to feel joy and relief, but that would never come when you were in a war zone. I used the term safe very loosely. Nowhere out here was ever truly safe.
The whirl of the blades made the dust even worse, like a tornado trying to knock us down. We fought against the gusts while providing cover, the gunner on the chopper doing the same.
“Carrington,” was yelled, telling me he’d made it on.
“Dustfield.”
Then each name of the others was screamed through the noise as they each got on the chopper. Searing pain struck my shoulder, but I didn’t lose my stance, continuing to protect my brothers with my life.
“Fuck! Collins’s shot!” one of the men shouted as I kept my gun trained and shooting.
As the grenade came rolling toward me, I ordered, “Move! Fire in the hole!”<
br />
Just as I went to jump in the chopper, another bullet pierced the same shoulder, knocking me back just a bit and causing me to lose my footing.
One of my teammates grabbed me as the chopper went up, and everything exploded.
Chapter One
Gabriella
My knees quaked as my stomach twisted in so many knots I swore I would puke at any moment. I even ran to the bathroom a few times, thinking the bile would come up and be expelled. So far, I’d been lucky with just the churning and nothing making an appearance.
I’d arrived at the airport early, afraid that I would somehow miss him coming off of the plane, that he would disappear for another twelve months, during which I would not get to have him in my arms. He was only supposed to be gone for seven, but then he was hurt and had to recover. I couldn’t do it another day. I would have done it for him, but part of me was dying inside from not being with him.
I tried my damnedest to stay strong while he’d been deployed, but there had been so many nights I cried myself to sleep. His safety became every prayer at night and every thought during the day. I made deals with God, the saints, and the apostles, hoping each word would go to whoever would bring Xander back to me.
I learned how to cope while he was gone, mostly staying busy. School kept me on my game, giving me structure and routine. Add in my job, and there wasn’t much time to think. For me, that was good. I’d even became handy, if you could believe it. I’d learned how to fix the toilet that kept running and never stopped. I made it stop. It took me several YouTube videos, but I finally did it.