FATED

by Roberts, A. S

  But fuck, I needed to talk to Nathan and soon. The asswipe had my balls on a plate and had nearly dropped me in it more times than I cared to think about over the weekend.

  He caused the biggest clusterfuck on Saturday. He nearly destroyed everything.

  My life wasn’t ready for her just yet. I had always planned to have her in it, but not just at the moment. The shit was hitting the fan here. I didn’t want her involved with it.

  I threw myself back down on my pillow.

  ‘Fuck it.’ I placed my bent arm up and over my eyes.

  Circumstances beyond my control back in England had forced my hand.

  I fucking hated having my hand forced in anything.

  Still she had understood last night, she had been fucking accepting about everything, and we’d ended up back in my bed. My cock went hard just thinking of last night. I gripped it with my left hand just trying to find a sense of relief.

  I won’t lie to her.

  I would never lie to her.

  I just won’t tell her everything, at this juncture in time.

  Yeah... let’s call it a need to know, basis.

  I lifted my body up and moved myself carefully over her, keeping my weight off of her and I began to kiss all down her spine. Slow wet kisses. I knew it affected her when I ran my fingertips down her spine. She pulls me in every time; it’s like being fucking magnetised, her north to my south, and all that crap. Except for the first time in my life I didn’t feel like it was crap.

  Pussy whipped prick.

  I shook my head, to rid it of that thought. A smile began to break out over my face.

  I slowly began to part her butt cheeks with both of my hands and as I sat back onto my haunches, in between her legs, I leant over to lick deep into her cleft with my tongue, lapping up her arousal as it started to appear even in her half sleep.

  ‘Up... Baby,’ I demanded.

  She started to shift now, getting up part way onto her knees and she began to moan. It was like fucking music to my ears. I lapped at her more enthusiastically. I fucking loved the noises she made for me, just for me.

  My guilt lifted as I woke her up, the only way I ever wanted her woken up ever again, me inside her, me licking her, and only me.

  Twenty-Three

  Frankie

  I was having one of those o

  ut of body experiences. I couldn’t believe the mind blowing orgasms Alex had just left me with. Bella was so right. I really did need a guy who knew exactly what he was doing. I began to chuckle slightly to myself.

  Need to rein it in Frankie; he’s only just in the shower. He’ll think you’re one shilling short of a ten bob note.

  Lying on my back, I gripped the soft blue sheets in my fists and just had to burst into a ‘Yes’ as I pummelled my hands and feet into the mattress underneath me, really quickly. Holding in the squeals that I wanted to let rip from my mouth, sheer excitement and happiness overtaking me.

  ‘I could watch you all fucking day, Frankie. You crack me up... I was going to ask if you were feeling OK... But watching you then, it’s become apparent you are,’ a loud laugh left his lips.

  I threw the sheet up and over my head in my embarrassment. Slowly I took a peek out.

  He really is a Greek God!

  OMFG... I had seen everything now. He was slowly walking towards me wearing the start of what looked like was going to be a grey, three-piece suit. As he made his way towards me, he was fastening up a silver cufflink; his eyes never left my face. The pale grey of his suit was shining; it was quite obviously a very expensive material and by the way it fitted him so well, cut to order. Underneath he wore a white dress shirt. Over his arm he was carrying a black tie and the suit jacket.

  Alex in rugby kit, or old jeans and a T-shirt and he looked bloody fantastic. In a suit, he was killing me!

  Every part of my naked body flushed hot and I could hear my pulse banging in my ear drums. Wetness started to cover the top of my legs.

  Oh my God! Really?

  The gorgeous man, who was staring down at me as he fastened his tie, had just brought me to two mind blowing orgasms and I needed more?

  ‘I don’t want you to work today,’ spilt out of me.

  How needy do I sound? I wanted to face palm.

  ‘Frankie, I’d stay, but as we’re going away on Wednesday night I have to get some work done this week,’ he winked at me as he pulled his suit jacket on. His left hand was running through his damp hair making sure it was flopped to one side, just as he liked it.

  ‘Baby you need to stop looking at me like that, otherwise I won’t be going anywhere for a very fucking long time,’ he adjusted the front of his smart trousers. Bending over to me, he kissed my lips softly at first and then with increasing vigour. I reluctantly let him break away.

  ‘I like you here in my bed... stay with me tonight?’ He whispered in my ear, no scruff today. I decided I liked him just as much clean shaven. As much as I wanted to, I knew Bella and I needed to chat.

  ‘I have plans already.’ At the furrow of his brow I quickly added, ‘With Bella,’ and I gently smacked his shoulder, chastising him. His lips had left my face and were now lightly brushing the underneath of my chin and down my neck.

  ‘Are you sure I can’t persuade you... Frankie?’ His hands were wandering under the sheets, and I was finding it difficult to breathe, let alone talk. His cologne once again invaded my nostrils. I didn’t know the answer to anything at that precise moment.

  Alex’s phone vibrated in his pocket. It was probably the one thing that could break our connection. He looked at it and then his eyes were back to mine.

  ‘I gotta run... Edwards is downstairs with the car. I’ll call you later; if I can get home early enough Tuesday perhaps we can do dinner?’ He kissed my forehead gently.

  ‘That sounds great.’

  He stopped at the door, blew me a kiss and winked. I listened to every movement until finally the front door slammed behind him. I left him my purple knickers on the peg with my thong, just as a joke for him to find later, in case of an emergency, I smiled to myself. I pulled on the rest of my clothes and tidied the bed. I began to reluctantly make my way out of Alex’s domain, when suddenly I had a girlish thought. Quickly I made my way back to his bedroom and picked up his T-shirt from the night before and decided to take it with me, it smelt of him. Not that I needed a reminder, but I borrowed it anyway. I felt as happy as I could ever remember.

  Twenty-Four

  I opened the door to the apartment just

  in time to see Bella pulling on her trainers.

  ‘Good you’re here, get changed quickly, I just have time for a run before work.’ She picked up her water bottle from the hall floor.

  ‘Yep OK, give me five minutes and I’ll be back.’ I moved swiftly through to my room.

  Stripping fast I put on all the clothes I needed, including clean knickers. I tied my hair up and grabbed my jacket. It looked miserable outside and I might need it. Our run certainly re-energised my aching body. But it was difficult to talk to Bella this morning, as she was keeping up such a pace.

  Maybe that’s her bloody idea?

  Finally, after having done our usual run in double quick time, we reached the front of the building. I downed some water to enable my throat to actually release words. We were just in time as the heavens opened.

  ‘You and me! Girl’s night in tonight?’ I forced out in between gasps.

  ‘Well?’ I could feel her trying to squirm out of it.

  ‘Not taking no for an answer,’ I stood hands on my hips just staring her out.

  Slowly she smiled. ‘Yes OK, oh demanding one,’ and she mocked bowed to me.

  ‘Don’t forget, when you get to work today, to cancel our plans with those guys?’

 
Bella put an arm around my neck as we entered our building foyer and she pulled me closer to her. ‘Yeah OK, gorgeous... I’ll talk to... those guys, no worries.’

  We made our way up in the bloody ridiculously fast lift that I knew I would never quite get used to. I knew why now, it seemed to leave my stomach back down on the ground floor. Just as we were letting ourselves back in, the door opened from the inside. I stared into the mischievous looking face of Nathan.

  ‘Hey ladies, how are we this fine morning?’ he smiled his panty dropping smile at both of us, as he shuffled slowly backwards, placing most of his weight on his good leg. Bella brushed herself past him and I followed.

  ‘Thought you were going to leave earlier, Nate,’ she threw into the air.

  ‘I know you did, sassy, but you don’t always get your way, you know,’ he grinned at her and she moved away sighing.

  I grabbed a fresh bottle of water from the fridge and got myself back to the lounge area fast. I didn’t want to miss anything. I needed to see the dynamics of this “fuck buddies” thing in action. I perched my backside on the back of the settee.

  ‘I thought we had already discussed it this morning, Nate baby’ she smiled at him sardonically.

  I watched as Nathan closed his eyes slowly and exhaled. ‘You decided, Bella, that I shouldn’t be around when Frankie got back, not me darlin.... and do not call me Nate baby, I hate it coming from you.’

  I watched as Bella almost tail in the air wiggled her way back to her room.

  What the hell was she playing at?

  Nathan ran his hands through his hair in exasperation, ‘Women?’ With that he turned to leave. ‘See ya later for my physio, Frankie? What time?’

  ‘Oh give me an hour, Nathan and I’ll be around.’ I watched as Nathan vacated our apartment.

  Well that’s why we were in such a hurry to run this morning. What is up with Bella?

  I could hear her scurrying around in her room, and decided to wait. Finally she emerged looking stunning as usual, in another beautiful, blue Chanel suit and nude heels. She looked at me waiting for the quip; I was so not going to give her.

  ‘Come on then, what’s going on? Why was he not allowed to be here when I got home? I’m a big girl. I know what’s going on between you two.’

  Bella looked at me, and for a moment I saw panic flicking over her face. She managed however to calmly pull herself back together as she wobbled around just trying to put on her final high heeled shoe. Her camel coloured swing coat grasped in her other hand.

  ‘It’s just easier, Frankie, easier to keep all things separate and in their place.’

  I stopped staring at her now and I bent to pick up her coat for her, as it fell out of her arms.

  ‘Bella, easier for whom, exactly? We all know what’s going on here. I really think you and I need to have a good chat later and you can tell me what has got you running scared... I recognise it you know, my life has been spent running away,’ I added the last bit and took stock of what I’d just said.

  ‘Yeah... OK, I look forward to seeing you later then, oh wise one.’

  I leant forward and quickly gave her a hug before she had to depart for work. I became conscious, that for the first time in our whole friendship, I seemed to have my shit together and she didn’t.

  It was a sobering thought. I made my way through to my bedroom. I was in need of a shower. I quickly folded up Alex’s T-shirt and placed it under my pillow.

  Who am I kidding? I have so not got my shit together.

  I placed my face down to inhale the gorgeous smell that exuded from the soft fabric and laughed cathartically.

  The physio session with Nathan was subdued to say the least. I knew why and knew that no amount of messing around from me or me telling him how much stronger his leg was feeling would relieve the atmosphere. I left him doing chin raises, hanging in the air under a door frame, legs off the ground. He really was a sight to behold.

  Why the hell was she pushing him away? I didn’t know.

  For the first time since the “Jack Russell” incident, I was really pleased to leave his apartment and go back to ours. This was going to make for one interesting weekend in their company. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing laundry, ironing and preparing a tasty dinner for the evening. I was listening to my ever broadening taste of eclectic music. Suddenly a new one came on and I knew I was just going to have to text Alex with it.

  Hi

  Thinking of you and listening to this

  Like I’m gonna lose you- Meghan Trainor

  Frankie

  Xxx

  Just after I pressed send I got a familiar feeling of panic and a worried hot flush ran through my body.

  Was it too much?

  Perhaps he won’t listen to the words properly. I can only hope not. Not everyone is like me, analysing every lyric.

  Oh god what have I done?

  I hastily sent him another text.

  Sorry, don’t worry about listening.

  I know you are really busy today.

  Looking forward to seeing you

  Tomorrow.

  Xxxx

  After a few worrying minutes, I heard my iPhone ping with a reply. I had deliberately left it in my bedroom and walked away from it.

  Like that was going to help me?

  Slowly I made my way back, hearing it ping again, just reminding me that I hadn’t had the guts to pick it up and look at it. I placed my thumb to it and waited for it to register that it was me. I opened one eye at a time to read his incoming message.

  Thinking of you too Frankie

  So fucking much you wouldn’t believe.

  Love you too, Baby

  Not that this is the way I expected to

  Tell you, the first time.

  I also said once before, you obviously didn’t take it in?

  Do not expect me to let you go!

  Love Alex

  X

  I sat down on my bed and fell backwards clutching my phone to my chest. Oh my God!

  He loves me? My Greek God, he loves me.

  I just needed to be truthful with myself now.

  Isn’t that exactly what I felt when listening to the song earlier?

  I had fallen for this man hook line and bloody sinker, in the very small space of approximately forty-eight hours and if I was truthful I had never felt happier in my life. Shit scared but so bloody happy.

  I found the afternoon disappeared quickly enough. What with the chores I was doing and me literally dancing around the apartment. I had to get it together before Bella arrived home. She could see straight through me and I really wanted the chat to be focused on her. I heard the bang of the door as she stepped into the apartment. I could barely see her behind a colourful and huge bouquet of wild flowers.

  ‘Let me see,’ she said with a smile, ‘I wonder who these could possibly be from,’ she added with a not so subtle infusion of sarcasm.

  ‘There’s a card,’ she said, waving the silver envelope under my nose.

  I turned up the dinner in the oven, now she was home. I had to wait to grab the card from her, as I needed to dry my hands on the tea towel I was carrying with me.

  ‘Is here OK, Frankie?’ I watched her place the flowers on the side table.

  ‘Yeah, lovely thanks.’ I slowly pulled the card out of the envelope and ran my fingers over the words he had written.

  Frankie

  I’m not good with words!

  But I need to try to tell you how I feel, so.......

  Play this please

  Make you feel my Love-Adele

  Love you Baby

  Alex

  I ran back to my room, just to call up the song as I lay back on my bed.

&
nbsp; So this is what the giddy excitement feels like? I replayed the song over and over.

  There was so much I didn’t know about him, I didn’t even know his favourite colour. I had only met one member of his family, but I didn’t care. I felt like he had been in my peripheral view for a long, long time, and now he was slap bang in the centre of my focus. I didn’t care about all the things I didn’t know about him. We had time to learn from each other. Those things were just negligible. My thoughts were broken by the smoke detector going off and Bella shouting from the kitchen. I ran as quickly as I could, just in time to see her removing the burnt offerings from the oven. She dropped the pan into the sink and turned on the taps.

  ‘Take out it is then!’ she exclaimed, watching the smoke rise from the pan.

  She rummaged around in a drawer next to me and dropped all of the pamphlets onto the work surface. We both burst out laughing.

  ‘Pudding will be OK, though’ I said unconvincingly.

  ‘Oh good, what is it?’ she questioned, still laughing.

  ‘Ice cream,’ I dropped in with a big smirk on my face.

  ‘Yep, gorgeous, even you couldn’t burn that.’

  ‘Oh come on! How many times do I burn dinner?’ I opened my arms out to her in question.

  She threw the oven gloves at me as she went to walk out of the kitchen. Looking me up and down in thought. ‘Erm now let me see, every time you’re in love I’d say.’ I watched her eyes light up with the enjoyment of it all. I so needed to turn this conversation around, I wanted it to be about her tonight. I spun around and followed her out; I was still listening to her laugh at my expense. She walked towards the settee, stepping onto the soft carpet and wiggling her bare toes.

  ‘I’m worried about you, Frankie, you’re letting him in too soon.’ She looked at me now, seriously.

  I took on board what she was saying, our previous laughing and light heartedness gone in a split second.