by Mike Gayle
1246. Buy tube of Superglue.
1247. Clear out shed.
1248. Pick up Lydia more often from pre-school.
1249. Do something with huge rubber band ball on desk.
1250. Work out how to transfer calls from one telephone handset to the other so that when Claire’s mates call I don’t have to get up and find her.
1251. Label one of our two cordless phone ‘his’ and the other ‘hers’ so that if I ever do need to answer a call I’ll know where my phone actually is rather than chasing around the house with my ear to the ground like some kind of idiot.
1252. Increase iron levels.
1253. Finish off the huge tub of multivitamins that you bought when the news about ‘bird flu’ first broke.
1254. Take a bag with me whenever I go shopping.
1255. Spend more time doing nothing.
1256. Buy a humane spider catcher.
1257. Clean under microwave.
1258. Create a weekly spending budget and stick to it.
1259. File Claire’s old tax statements because if you leave it to her it will never happen.
1260. Get rid of all joke presents of the fluffy washing-up gloves/executive miniature snooker table variety.
1261. Be more generous.
1262. Talk less. Listen more.
1263. See if conditioning hair makes ANY difference whatsoever.
1264. Try to reduce your water consumption.
1265. Do something with last year’s Christmas cards instead of just leaving them stuffed in the cupboard where you keep the board games.
1266. Visit the RSC.
1267. Sort out dodgy toenail.
1268. Compost.
1269. Go ice-skating.
1270. Record new out-going message on home phone.
1271. Record new out-going message on office line that doesn’t state your mobile phone number incorrectly.
1272. Get rid of all audiotapes since you no longer have a tape deck.
1273. Discover something new about your locality.
1274. Delete all old files from laptop hard drive.
1275. Delete all old files from desktop hard drive.
1276. Watch Ghost World DVD.
1277. Clean windows.