Love & Deception (Agents in Love - Book 1)

by Chantel Rhondeau

“Even though I love you and you love me?” His dark eyes filled with an emotion Carlie couldn’t begin to guess at.

  “Nick, you decided to believe something a total stranger said about me for no reason whatsoever.” Her anger grew once again at his betrayal of her trust. “Maybe I could understand if you had any evidence, but I’m honestly hurt.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought I could help you, if that was what was going on. All I want is total honesty between us.”

  “So you assumed I lied?” She brushed his hand away from her face and folded her arms. “Do you still think I’m lying?”

  He looked away, starting the car. “We’re going to be late. Let’s try to have a good time. I don’t want to spend the next few days fighting. Especially not when I...”

  After waiting a few seconds, Carlie raised her eyebrow. “Especially not when you what?”

  “Nothing.” He pulled the car out of the driveway and the tense silence became unbearable.

  Carlie turned the radio on, bumping the volume. Nick apparently still thought she lied to him, which cooled her anger to an even deeper hurt. Maybe she should ask him to turn around. She could always call a cab to pick her up if he wouldn’t take her home.

  She shook her head. The truth was she wanted to be with him. Maybe he had a good reason for believing the FBI agent, and once he decided to tell her what that was they could work things out. That was the hope, anyway. Nick had been so hot and cold the last few days. Carlie questioned her wisdom in staying with him, but she wanted things to work.

  They pulled into the parking lot of the waffle house and Nick parked the car, clicking off the radio. “I’m sorry.” His voice sounded flat. “I keep screwing things up. All I want is to be with you and find happiness.”

  “That’s what I want too. I’m not sure what made you turn on me, but happiness is going to be dang near impossible for us if you believe those things about me.” She unfastened her seat belt and opened the door. “For now, let’s have a good evening with your friends, a great dinner tomorrow, and deal with the serious stuff Friday.”

  She climbed out of the car. Perhaps it was cowardly to put off talking with him until later, but if they were going to part ways, she deserved at least one happy holiday first.

  Even if it was a lie.

  ***

  Nick followed Carlie into the restaurant, torn by her words. If they pretended to be okay until after the holiday but not really work on their issues, that wouldn’t give him much time to decide what to do.

  All day he’d been tormented by the thought of flying back to D.C. and leaving Carlie to the mercy of Stephen Chance. Then again, if she didn’t really care about him and was determined to carry out her plans with Muhammad, what could Nick do?

  The dining room was packed with large families and crying children when they entered. A harried server held her finger up and nodded their direction, but before she made her way to them, Nick spotted Donovan sitting at a table in the center of the room.

  Without asking permission, he gripped Carlie’s elbow and steered her to the table. She glanced at him with wide eyes, but he just smiled. If she wanted to pretend things were fine for the holiday, then that’s just what he’d do.

  Nick looked over his friend’s family. Jealous he didn’t have something similar warred with his happiness for Donovan. “Looking good, man.”

  The silver at Donovan’s temples had spread to a wider patch and he put on a few pounds in the past year—that infamous marriage weight. Other than that, it was the same old Donovan. Relief at knowing he’d be able to confide his problems in his friend flooded through Nick.

  Donovan walked around the table to smack Nick’s back. “Looking good, yourself, Edward. Good to see you.”

  Nick widened his eyes and shook his head slightly at the same time as Carlie sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes darting between both men.

  Donovan cleared his throat and smiled at her. “You must be Carlie. Nick’s told me so much about you.”

  Though she had to be curious about Donovan calling him Edward, Carlie favored Donovan with her bright, waitress-style smile and shook his hand. “Nick’s been looking forward to your visit. It was nice of you guys to come all this way.”

  Donovan’s wife stood, leaning across the table to shake Carlie’s hand and then Nick’s. “I’m Madeline.” She was very tall, nearly Nick’s height of six feet, and thin scars coursed down each of her cheeks, though they didn’t diminish how pretty she was. “Thanks for letting us crash your party this week. My parents are away and we wanted to spend the time with family. I’ve been hearing all about you, Ed...err, Nick. Donovan thinks the world of you. Glad we finally meet.”

  Nick wondered how many times they’d slip up and call him Edward before the visit was over. “Sorry I missed your wedding.” Maybe Carlie didn’t notice that time.

  Carlie turned to Donovan with a raised eyebrow. “You’re family to Nick? I thought you were friends.”

  “Well, I don’t have any siblings and neither does he,” Donovan explained. “Nick’s as close to a brother as I have.”

  She shook her head. “Why do you keep calling him Edward then, if you’re so close?”

  Nick exchanged a panic-stricken glance with Donovan, but his wife let out a deep chuckle.

  “Donovan loves telling me the story.” Madeline winked at Nick. “He mistook Nick for a suspect named Edward when they first bumped into each other back in L.A. Now it’s a little running joke between them. Donovan talks about him all the time, but always called him Edward, so I got into the habit of calling him that, too.”

  Madeline and Donovan laughed, and Nick forced himself to join in. Carlie smiled, but didn’t really appear amused. At least there was a reason for them to call him Edward now if they slipped up anymore. Madeline was quick on her feet. There was no reason for Carlie to be suspicious.

  “Enough about that,” Madeline said. “We’ll have plenty of time to discuss the trouble these guys have gotten into together, I’m sure.” She indicated the young boy sitting next to her. “This is our son, Colton.”

  He gave a shy grin and waved. “Hi, Uncle Nick. I’ve been excited to meet you.”

  The boys brown hair and eyes would fool anyone into thinking he was actually their biological son, since he looked so much like his mother. However, Nick knew they were actually working toward adopting Colton, trying to give him a better life than the one he’d had with his abusive birth mother.

  “I’m so happy to meet you,” he told the boy.

  “I’m sorry you can’t meet Josephine right now,” Madeline said, pointing to a car seat resting on the ground. A pink blanket covered the baby from view. “She’s teething and fussy and finally fell asleep on the way to the restaurant.”

  “She’s a pain,” Colton whispered and Carlie smiled.

  “Well, then,” she whispered back, “let’s just meet her tomorrow.”

  Colton nodded, a serious look on his young face.

  Donovan walked around the table, helping his wife into her chair before sitting down. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving.”

  Before Nick could pull her chair out, Carlie sat next to Colton and opened her menu. “So am I,” she said. “What do you like to eat, Colton?”

  The boy’s eyes grew wide and he leaned into Carlie slightly. “The best is strawberry waffles. With extra whip cream.”

  Although Carlie smiled, there was a sadness in her eyes different from the hurt and anger she’d shown in the car. “Then I think we should get that. If it’s okay with your mom, I mean.”

  Nick took his own seat while Madeline gave permission for the waffles. It occurred to him that Colton was eight, almost the age Gabi would have been if she’d lived.

  No, wait. That couldn’t be why Carlie was upset. Despite everything, he had to remind himself the history she gave was a lie. If there ever had been a Gabriela, the baby had belonged to Princess Stephanie, not the bridesmaid.

  Closing
her menu, Madeline pulled hand sanitizer from her purse and Colton placed his menu on top of hers. He held his hands out for a few drops and rubbed his hands vigorously together.

  “I’ll have waffles, too,” Madeline decided, sanitizing her own hands and turning to Donovan. “Sweetheart, you really should get bacon. We both know how deprived you are.”

  Donovan laughed and winked at Nick. “I married a very hot woman and she’s a fantastic mom, but definitely not a cook.”

  “Well, my girlfriend—” Nick paused, not sure he should call Carlie his girlfriend. “Carlie’s a fantastic cook. You’re in for a treat by having her make dinner tomorrow. She even bakes gourmet cupcakes.”

  “Chocolate?” Colton asked, licking his lips.

  “You bet.” Carlie patted his hand. “You could even help me bake them after dinner tomorrow.”

  Well, at least she didn’t get upset by him calling her his girlfriend. “What time did you want everyone to come over tomorrow?” he asked.

  Carlie shrugged. “I’ll do most of the baking tonight and put the turkey in before I leave for the soup kitchen in the morning, so there won’t be much to do.”

  He tried to stop the automatic grimace that crossed his face.

  “I’m not canceling on Muhammad just because you have issues.” Carlie busied herself unrolling the paper ring from her silverware, but then glanced across the table at Donovan and Madeline. “I’ll probably be done there around noon. I can leave and check on the turkey as needed, but my friend runs a soup kitchen for the needy, and I promised to help bake food in the morning. How does one o’clock sound?”

  “Sounds great.” Madeline smoothed her dark hair behind her ear. “What can I do to help you out?”

  The women launched into a discussion about what all needed to be done, and Nick glanced at Donovan. His friend raised an eyebrow, clearly wondering what brought on the tension about the soup kitchen.

  Nick knew he should just give up and stop becoming angry when Carlie mentioned Muhammad. She obviously wasn’t going to change her mind, and he was ruining the time they had left together. Hopefully Donovan would have some advice. Maybe the best thing would be to confront her. If he stated flat out that he knew what was going on, maybe then they could talk about it.

  Unless she didn’t really care about him at all. Then, tipping her off could cause more harm to innocent people. For some reason, Carlie made him want to protect her and forget about the innocent people, but if she then did something with Muhammad, it would be as though Nick did it himself. Millions of Americans starving to death was a real possibility, one he could be directly responsible for if he let his emotions rule his actions.

  How could he live with that knowledge?

  Chapter Thirty

  After they finished eating Thanksgiving dinner the following afternoon, Carlie spent time with Colton making dessert. She set the timer on the stove and looked across to where he sat on the counter, licking chocolate batter from the bowl. “Is that going to upset your mom?” Madeline seemed laid back, but Carlie probably should have asked permission.

  “Nah.” Colton wiped his chin, getting chocolate on the cuff of his blue shirtsleeve. “Mommy lets me lick the bowl all the time.”

  “That’s a relief.” Carlie ran hot water over a dishrag and cleaned his shirt before pulling him off the counter and setting him on the floor. “While I clean up in here, why don’t you go watch football with your dad and Uncle Nick?”

  “Okay.” Colton raced from the room, displaying energy Carlie wished she still had.

  After leaving the waffle house last night, Carlie firmly said goodbye to Nick on her porch and then spent the rest of the evening making rolls and pie. Cooking for five hours this morning to help Muhammad and then playing hostess to the Andrews family had worn her out.

  Not enough to stop her brain from working, unfortunately. Gabi would have been one year older than Colton. Colton told her all about third grade and what he learned and his friends, and Carlie tried to act excited for him. However, she couldn’t stop thinking about her own little girl and how she should have experienced all those things with her.

  Life sucked sometimes. As much as Carlie tried to have a positive attitude and be helpful to others, karma had kicked her in the teeth as far as having children was concerned.

  Then again, she was thirty and single. With the way Nick had been acting, even if she could have children, she couldn’t seem to find the right guy to carry out that dream.

  A floorboard squeaked behind her and Carlie whirled around. Madeline stood inside the opening of the kitchen. “Oh! You startled me.”

  “Sorry.” Madeline tucked dark hair behind her ear and hitched a hip against the counter. “Thanks for taking care of Colton while I put Josephine down for a nap. Told you she was cranky. I’m seriously about to tear my hair out with that one.”

  Carlie forced a smile, though she didn’t feel all that bad for Madeline. At least she had her daughter. “She’s very cute. Both the kids are.”

  “Donovan wants more, of course. As soon as the papers are finalized on Colton’s adoption, which has taken forever, we’ll look for another foster child. He wants a lot of kids.”

  Carlie turned back to the sink, squeezed a few drops of dish soap into the mixing bowl, and then ran hot water into it. “Your family is wonderful. I wish...” She sighed and shook her head.

  “Look, I don’t mean to be nosy.” Madeline laughed. “Screw it, yes I do. What’s the deal with you guys? Donovan made it sound like wedding bells were going off here, but there’s major tension.”

  She felt guilty about that. Company should feel welcome, and the Andrews definitely had to endure some awkward moments. “I thought things were serious between us, too, but I think Nick’s having second thoughts.”

  “Typical.” Madeline snorted. “Men can be such idiots until we finally teach them better. I thought Donovan loved someone else for the longest time before he proposed to me. The problem was, we didn’t really speak the same language at first. Maybe that’s the problem with you and Nick.”

  “Oh, no.” Carlie washed the mixing bowl, just to have an excuse not to look at Madeline. “Nick’s very clear about expressing himself. Perhaps that’s our problem. You can’t move forward with a man who doesn’t trust you.”

  “That’s weird. Donovan said...” Madeline’s shoes clicked across the floor as she came to stand near Carlie’s elbow. “What did Nick say to make you think he doesn’t trust you?”

  In some ways, it would be good to unburden herself. Carlie hadn’t dared say anything to Shelley, who would either declare her an idiot and tell her to move on, or decide it was her job to beat some sense into Nick. Either way, that wasn’t what Carlie wanted. She needed some sound advice. Maybe a woman who was in a successful marriage could offer some insight.

  She rinsed the bowl and set it on top of a clean hand towel to dry. “Here’s the deal. Somehow Nick has it in his mind that I’m involved with a terrorist group.”

  “Oh.”

  Carlie glanced up, meeting Madeline’s eyes. “You don’t seem shocked.”

  “The wife of a cop is rarely shocked.”

  Carlie decided to forge on. “He also thinks one of my good friends is a terrorist leader. No matter what I tell him, he doesn’t believe me. I have quite the past history with men—”

  “Don’t we all?”

  Carlie nodded. “True, but if Nick cares about me, why would he think that?” That’s what hurt and kept hurting. He didn’t believe in her. He thought she was a liar and a terrorist. The more time that passed, the more Carlie thought maybe she should tell Nick to go away and not come back.

  “Well, there are a few reasons for that, I’d guess.” Madeline tapped her fingers across her lips and narrowed her eyes. “From what Donovan said, Nick had a pretty hard childhood with a demanding father, and he’s not used to unconditional love.”

  “Lots of people have parent issues.”

  “Yes, but I don’
t think Nick’s ever dealt with his. My best guess, he’s fabricating problems to end things now, to stop himself from getting hurt when you leave him later.”

  “That’s stupid.”

  Madeline nodded. “Of course it is. But who makes rational decisions when they’re afraid of getting hurt? Or when their heart’s involved?”

  Carlie hated to admit that Madeline was right. That swung her back to the side of thinking she’d been unreasonable with her reaction to Nick’s betrayal. The fact that Madeline came up with a reason Carlie already thought of herself made it seem more likely to be the right one.

  “Hey, Maddie?” Donovan walked into the kitchen, displaying a wide smile for his wife. “Nick and I want to run down to that gas station that’s open and grab a few beers.”

  “What about football?” she asked.

  “That’s what the beer’s for. It’s halftime.”

  Madeline nodded. “Fine. My purse is in the bedroom with Jo. Come with me to get money.”

  Though Donovan’s eyebrows flew up briefly before he smiled and took his wife’s hand, he recovered quickly.

  Carlie could only guess Donovan had his own money, but Madeline wanted to tell him what she said. It seemed weird to have perfect strangers meddling in her life. Then again, if Madeline and Donovan could get Nick to see how wrong he was in trying to push her away, maybe they could still work things out.

  ***

  Nick sat next to Donovan in his friend’s minivan. The beer they hadn’t really wanted sat in a plastic bag on the floor between his feet. Nick was more interested in the manila envelope Donovan pulled from between the console and the driver’s seat.

  He passed it over. “Sorry I couldn’t get together with you last night after dinner. Maddie needed my help with the baby. She was up most of the night.

  Nick nodded. It had been disappointing, but Nick understood. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Everything you need is in this envelope. Actually, I helped my guy with your back story.”

  “You did, huh?” Nick pried open the silver prongs holding the envelope shut and shook out the contents. “And who have Carlie and I become?”