Daddy Next Door

by Carol Voss

  “Me, too. Thanks for not crowding me.”

  The toaster popped up. They ignored it.

  “You need to tell Alyssa. But just so you know, she and I won’t be seeing each other.” His words sounded as dead as he felt inside.

  Hope squinted at him as if she didn’t understand. “But I’ll do my best to be okay about you dating her, Dad. Honest.”

  “I appreciate that. But Alyssa doesn’t want to see me.”

  “She kissed you. Was that a mistake?”

  “No, but she’s not ready to go out with anybody. Her husband died only a year ago, and she needs space.”

  “It’s because of me. I know it is.” She shook her head. “Who’d want a brat like me in the family?”

  “Not true. Alyssa thinks you’re terrific. She’ll be glad you’re not upset anymore. But she and I will not be dating.” Even as he laid out the truth for his daughter, he couldn’t accept it. How could he? Now that he’d finally found the woman he’d been looking for his entire life, how could he learn to live without her?

  “I’m gonna go over and apologize to Alyssa while I have my nerve up, okay?”

  “Good idea. Do you want me to go with you and wait on the porch?”

  She shook her head. “I’m good.” She hurried to the laundry room to get her coat.

  A couple minutes later, he heard the door close behind her. His little girl was growing up whether he was ready or not, so he’d better get used to it. If it didn’t kill him, she’d undoubtedly keep on enlightening him the way she’d done since the day she was born. Please help us to always stay open to one another, no matter what we’re going through.

  As for Alyssa? He was powerless in that situation. He couldn’t do a thing to help the woman he loved. I think I get it, Lord. If I love her, and we both know I do, then I have to back off and respect her decisions. No matter what her decisions are. No matter how hard they might be to accept. I can’t make them for her. Please give me the strength I need to do that.

  Please help me remember: not my will, but Yours.

  * * *

  “Thanks for the trial run, Harold. I won’t be long.” Very early Saturday morning, Alyssa climbed down from the sleigh, the jingle of sleigh bells punctuating the horses’ every move. Trying to brace herself for seeing Ben, she strode under the Christmas-festooned trellis and up the freshly swept brick path toward the Stefano Victorian, majestic and proud in its setting of snow-outlined, towering trees.

  She climbed the steps, admiring the tastefully decorated porch and gorgeous swag drawing her eye to the richly paneled front door. Maggie was a genius decorator.

  Tony pulled the door wide-open, a string quartet arrangement of “Silent Night” greeting her. “Are you sufficiently impressed?”

  “The Victorian looks like a Christmas card. I love your choice of music, too. We have choral Christmas carols playing in the fellowship room. Totally different atmosphere over there. When did you finish decorating outside?”

  “About a half hour ago. Nonna and Maggie are touching up in the kitchen, and Coop and I are spreading runners on the wood floors.”

  Was Ben listening to them? Would he at least say hello? Hope’s sweet, heartfelt apology last night had touched her deeply. She was so glad Ben and his daughter were in sync again. “It smells divine in here. Cinnamon and bayberry and Fraser. Can’t beat that combination. The tree is perfect in that spot, isn’t it?” Doing her best to drown out thoughts of Ben with chatter, she smiled at the cats, one black, one white, snuggled up together on the tree skirt under the tree.

  Tony chuckled. “Snowball and Vader have made themselves at home.”

  “You guys did a great job over here.”

  “Look around, see if we’re missing anything. I’d better get back to those runners.” He strode away.

  She longed to see Ben, even if it would be awkward. But he obviously did not want to see her, and who could blame him? Heart heavy, she wanted to sink to the floor in a frenzy of tears. Very grown-up, Alyssa.

  She didn’t feel grown-up. She felt miserable and overwhelmed, and she missed Ben so much she didn’t know what to do. She felt like giving up the whole idea of trying to be an adult. It was just too hard.

  But people were counting on her. She needed to pull herself together and get back to the fellowship room.

  By late afternoon, people were still arriving to take part in the fund-raiser. The scents of popcorn and hot dogs and sloppy joes rode the air in the fellowship room. The Reclamation Committee was elated by the turnout, even if they were dead on their feet.

  The din of people talking and laughing drowned out Christmas music playing in the background. Alyssa walked over to the control board in the corner of the huge room and turned up the volume.

  Glancing around for anything that might need attention at the moment, Alyssa focused on Lou’s striking quilt displayed on the wall above the bidding table. She loved it more every time she saw it.

  “Mommy!” Joey ran up and flung his arms around her legs.

  She caressed his cheek. “Hi, honey.”

  “Grandma and Grandpa and Robbie and me went on the sleigh ride and Mr. Harold let me sit by him again. It was sweet.”

  “Sweet?” No doubt, that word came straight from Hope.

  “Great job.” Her father’s voice boomed over the din before she saw him making his way through the crowd carrying Robbie in his carrier. “Your mother’s going to be wanting a Victorian, I’m afraid. It’s magnificent.”

  Alyssa stroked her sleeping baby because she needed to.

  Her mother peeked over one of Maggie’s beautiful Christmas centerpieces. “Isn’t this extraordinary?” she asked excitedly. “I’d like to transport Maggie to Washington. We need her talent.”

  “I’m surprised Daddy didn’t offer her a job,” Alyssa teased.

  “Who says I didn’t?” her father shot back. “Lot more people here than I expected. Where did they all come from?”

  “From all over the state,” Alyssa said. “Some have relatives who live in the area, but many saw Ben’s advertisements in their local papers.”

  “That young man’s on the ball, no doubt about it. Did he tell you I offered to put in a good word for him with the Post? Turned me down flat.”

  “I’m not surprised.”

  Daddy shook his head as if he couldn’t understand. “Well, I must commend you on the way you’re pulling yourself together and making a place for yourself here, Lissa. Of course, I’d prefer you did it in Washington, but you must follow your own path.”

  She brushed away tears pooling in her eyes. Would she ever have herself together without Ben in her life? “Thanks, Daddy.”

  He waved away her thanks. “Joey, you ready for a hot dog?”

  Gravy, hot dogs...no wonder her father’s cholesterol was high. “Mother, I know Daddy loves baked goods, so you might just as well get the good stuff with no preservatives. There’s an unbelievable selection, but it’s going fast.”

  “Thanks, dear.”

  “Look, Grandpa. Here’s Dolly. Mr. Max maked horses and pigs, too. And...Digger!” He squealed. “Grandpa, Grandma, you have to see Digger.”

  Chuckling, her father hurried to his grandson’s side, no doubt to raise several bids on Max’s toy animals.

  “This is the quilt you want for your bedroom, isn’t it? It’s lovely, dear.” Mother checked the bid list. “Very reasonable when you consider it really is a piece of art. I’ll bid on it for you.”

  Obviously, Mother’s budget left room for more pieces of art than Alyssa’s did, but... “Please don’t, Mother. Don’t let Daddy buy it for me either. It’s something I really want to buy for myself.”

  “Oh, Alyssa. You and that grandmother of yours.”

  “Please, Mother.”

 
“Oh, all right. I’ll steer your father entirely away from it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Alyssa,” Max paged from the food concession.

  “Have fun.” With a wave to her family, Alyssa made her way through the crowd to find out what Max needed, then hustled off to get more change from the little safe in her office. She decided to escape into the sanctuary for a few minutes of calm.

  She made her way up the aisle, knelt at the communion rail and looked up at the cross with a heavy heart as Ben’s words drifted through her mind. My dad told me to lay my weakness at Jesus’s feet.

  “I give you my weakness, Lord.”

  With a few minutes of quiet peace calming her, she thought of Cam, surprisingly without the dread and nausea she’d associated with his death. When was the last time she’d experienced those things? Now, she felt only calm and acceptance. “Thank You.”

  But there was no calm, no acceptance when she thought about Ben and Hope. Only emptiness. Defeated and weary, she left the sanctuary, retrieved the bank bag of change she needed from her office and hurried back to the fellowship room, determined to make it through the rest of the day the best way she could.

  As she walked into the giant room teeming with scents and noise and excited chatter, joy rang in children’s voices. Children like Joey, exclaiming over the sleigh ride and Max’s wooden toys and Lou’s doll clothes.

  She heard gratitude from adults inspired by the majestic Victorian and Maggie’s exquisite Christmas decorations. People like her parents. She heard appreciation for the long hours of work invested in quilting and sewing and baking delicious food for others to enjoy.

  Her parents and children sat eating popcorn at one of the tables. She spotted Pastor Nick, surrounded by several members of the Reclamation Committee who had given all these gifts to others. They had welcomed her into their fold as if she was one of them. They’d not only been her keeper, but they’d also allowed her to be theirs. Where had she ever before found people like these?

  Never.

  Her gaze homed in on Ben and Hope, the quilt she loved framing them like a backdrop. He met her gaze, his kind eyes filled with caring and hurt.

  Her throat closed. She loved him. And his daughter. Then why was she pushing them away?

  She’d moved here to gain strength to make it on her own like her gram. But Gram hadn’t made it without accepting help, had she? Zebadiah had helped her keep the cottage, so she could continue to live the life she loved.

  And Gram hadn’t pushed love away either. Hadn’t Ben said everybody loved her?

  I’ve had it wrong, haven’t I, Lord? Standing on my own doesn’t require isolation. That’s why You gave me Zebadiah and a community to care about. That’s why You gave me Ben and Hope to love.

  Please give me the faith and courage to give them the love they deserve.

  Looking around at the happy, boisterous crowd, she wanted to embrace them all and tell them she heard God in their voices.

  But that wouldn’t make her heart sing, would it? Only the love of one very special man could do that.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Coop lost track of Alyssa in the crowd. She looked tired, but obviously excited about the turnout. People milled around him, happy with the experience they were having. Judging from the lines of people who’d filed through the Victorian all day, the fund-raiser was a bigger success than the Reclamation Committee ever imagined it could be. Thanks to their hard work...and especially to Alyssa’s talent and expertise in putting it together and making sure it flowed seamlessly.

  Now they’d have the money they needed to buy materials, so Tony and his crew could get to work. Personally, he’d be relieved to get through this day. And the next, and the next. And as many days as it would take to stop missing Alyssa. She’d leave a hole in his life he’d never be able to fill.

  When he heard her talking to Tony at the Victorian this morning, she’d sounded so sad. So distant.

  He missed her vibrancy and laughter. He missed her holding her baby in her arms and smiling at Joey. He missed her teaching Hope to cook and trying to heal his abandoned little girl’s heart. He missed her in his arms, missed the joy and wonder in her eyes.

  Sure, she’d live next door. He’d still see her and her little guys sometimes, which would be both a blessing and a curse. And he was still going to buy her the quilt she loved. He wanted her to enjoy it in her mango-punch bedroom.

  He glanced at his watch. Bidding would close in two minutes. That was why he was standing guard to make sure he’d have the final bid. He moved to the quilt to look at the list. A name he didn’t recognize topped his last bid. He picked up the pen.

  “Are you bidding on the quilt?”

  His entire system lit up. He’d know that soft, melodic voice anywhere, anytime. He turned to face her.

  She eyed the pen in his hand. “I’d like to make the final bid.”

  He swallowed, ready to protest. But apparently she needed to do this for herself. He relinquished the pen.

  Looking a little surprised when she saw the amount she needed to top, she did it quickly and signed her name just as Lou announced the end of the silent auction.

  “Congratulations,” he said. “It’s a beautiful quilt.”

  “I love you,” she said.

  Her words took a couple of seconds to register. Another second or two for him to understand them. He didn’t know what to think, only knew this was the most important moment in his life. “I love you.”

  She took a breath. Nibbled her lip as if she was unsure what to say now that they’d both voiced their feelings.

  Clasping his hands together to discourage his desire to touch her, he realized he was trembling. From relief? From excitement? From sheer restraint when he wanted to haul her into his arms and never let her go?

  “I love Hope, too, you know?”

  He nodded. “I know.”

  “You are the most loving and giving man I’ve ever known. I want to love like you do.”

  He frowned, hesitant to believe her words could possibly be promising what he hoped.

  She held his gaze as if waiting for him to say something.

  His heart thudded hard enough to steal his breath. “I’m so in love with you. I don’t know how to live without you. You’re perfect exactly the way you are. I want to be perfect for you, too.”

  “You already are.” She reached out and laid her hand along his jaw.

  “I can be patient,” he whispered, belying the energy her touch spurred. “I promise to give you whatever you need if you tell me what that is. If it’s time, you have it. If it’s space, you have it. For however long it takes. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Maybe we can date?”

  He grinned. “Absolutely.”

  “Sounds like we have a deal, then.” She broke into a brilliant smile.

  Her smile? He’d always understood that. Needing her in his arms as much as he needed his next breath, he folded her close and kissed her.

  Epilogue

  More than a year later, Mozart’s Eine kleine Nachtmusik Romanze swelled in the beautiful church in Noah’s Crossing. Stately Frasers Alyssa and Hope had helped decorate with handmade Christian symbols guarded the altar and filled the air with Christmas.

  Goose bumps danced over Alyssa’s skin. She was so excited to marry Ben. Thankfully, her nerves had taken the day off. Which bothered her a little. If she’d ever had a reason to be nervous, it was probably now because wise or not, she’d included the whole family in the wedding.

  She calmly waited for Hope to take a few steps down the aisle with Robbie in her arms. Joey followed. Then Mother on one arm and her father on the other, Alyssa began the most significant walk she’d ever take.

  After a remarkable year of healing and growth,
their little family had hit a balance of sharing and loving and laughing together that seemed to work for all of them. She smiled. Of course, she’d fallen more in love with Ben than ever. And marrying him in the church they both loved, surrounded with family and friends was perfect.

  Their youngest guest? One-year-old Salvatore Anthony Stefano, Tony and Maggie’s handsome baby boy in the arms of his big sister, Christa. Oldest guest? Zebadiah Krentz, all decked out in a brand-new suit Ben had helped him find in Eau Claire. Zebadiah had embraced Ben as the grandson he never had. Alyssa couldn’t be happier for them both. And Ben’s parents had even flown in from Vietnam for the wedding. They were amazing.

  The chancel was beautifully decorated with Maggie’s poinsettias everywhere. Raising her eyes to the awe-inspiring wood cross over the altar, Alyssa prayed a silent prayer of thanks with a humble request for wisdom and strength to be the wife and mother Ben and their new family deserved. The prayer she prayed every single day.

  And then she met Ben’s beautiful eyes filled with tears of happiness. She had no tears today. Only smiles for the most loving, incredible man on earth.

  “Hi, Ben,” Joey said loud and clear.

  A chuckle swelled through the church.

  “Hi, buddy.” Face filled with love, Ben pointed to the spot near Hope and Robbie where Joey had been told to stand.

  “Hi.” Not one to miss out on the action, Robbie gave Ben and Joey his modified wave.

  Alyssa smiled at her sons without a nerve in sight.

  Joey confidently moved to his spot.

  Ben walked to meet her, his handsome face sporting the smile that always stole her breath.

  Her father kissed her cheek; her mother the other. They took turns hugging Ben, then stepped back to allow him to clasp her arm.

  Smiling into each other’s eyes, she and Ben took a step up and turned to a beaming Pastor Nick. The service was a happy blur. Good thing there would be a video she could savor later. Bubbling with joy, she couldn’t wait to respond to the pastor’s big question.

  Finally, he asked it. “Do you, Alyssa, take Ben Cooper as your husband, to have and to hold until death do you part?”