Old Fashioned Murder (A Ryli Sinclair Cozy Mystery Book 3)

by Jenna St James

  I sighed and thought about my looming deadline for the paper. “Seeing as how I work for the Gazette, how about a front-page story idea for next week’s Valentine’s Day feature?” I joked.

  Lovey lifted an eyebrow then looked up at Dotty.

  “Well,” Lovey said hesitantly, “it might not be what you’re looking for, but Virginia has quite a story about love. Loves, actually.”

  I was immediately intrigued. “Really? What kind of story?”

  Dotty took another drink of her Manhattan before answering. “Well, she’s been married three times, and tragically all three husbands have died.”

  “Wow,” I said, somewhat horrified at the thought. “I’m not sure how that’s a love story.”

  Lovey reached over and patted my hand. “Oh, honey, it takes a lot for a woman to bounce back after one husband dies, but the fact she did it two more times is amazing. She opened herself up each time, and each time tragedy struck.”

  I frowned. “Okay. I think I see where you’re going with this.” The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. “Do you think she’d talk with me?”

  Lovey shrugged. “I don’t see why not. I’ll tell you what, when we see her later on, we’ll mention you’d like to talk with her.”

  I grabbed a pen and paper off the counter in Aunt Shirley’s kitchen. “Here’s my number. Have her call me if she’s interested in talking.”

  Dotty took the paper from me, folded it, and slipped it in her pocket with the flask. “We better head out. We have a couple chocolate deliveries to make. Valentine’s Day is a popular time for us!”

  I laughed and opened the door to let them out. “Thank you so much for everything. I hope to hear from Virginia soon.”

  I closed the door behind them and turned to Aunt Shirley. “I think this might be a good idea.”

  Aunt Shirley shrugged and took another shot of tequila.

  “You need to slow down. And maybe it wouldn’t hurt to expand your palate like Lovey and Dotty suggested.”

  “Pshaw. Why would I want to listen to those two goody-goody gasbags?”

  “I thought they were great. You should get to know them better.”

  I heard knocking next door. It sounded like they were trying to peddle their wares to Mr. Manning. Good thing they’d had a stiff drink beforehand.

  “I don’t really like them,” Aunt Shirley said.

  “You don’t really like anyone.”

  “True. So, your mom having dinner tonight?”

  I knew this was a needle for an invitation. “Yes.”

  “Well, why didn’t you say so? Let me change my clothes real quick and we’ll head on over.”

  “Why did you even have me bring you here if your plan was all along to go to Mom’s for dinner?”

  Aunt Shirley grinned. “Because I didn’t want to go over smelling like burnt bacon from the house fire.”

  CHAPTER 4

  * * *

  “I think it sounds like a great story,” Paige said as she set the platter of roast on Mom’s dinner table. “Imagine having been married three times and all three times your spouse dies. That’s such a tragedy.” She paused in thought. “Then again, maybe this isn’t such a good idea for a Valentine’s Day story.”

  I placed a bowl of cooked carrots next to the roast. I was trying to be as helpful as possible. When I came in with Aunt Shirley on my heels, Mom looked like she’d swallowed a lemon.

  I stepped back and started making room on the table for more food. “I think I can spin it into a true love story spanning the years. I’ve had time to think about it, and I’m going to make the article all about her. This woman has put herself out there and loved three men. That takes a lot of courage.”

  Aunt Shirley plopped down on an empty chair at the table. “And do we know how these men died?” She nonchalantly reached down into her bra and pulled out a heart-shaped flask that read, “Tequila is my Boyfriend!” and took a nip from it.

  I laughed. “Where did you get that hideous thing?”

  Aunt Shirley grinned and thrust the flask toward me. “You like? One of my many Valentine’s Day gifts to myself.”

  Paige rolled her eyes at me. “I thought having a purse that doubled as a flask was bad, but that thing is just plain tacky.”

  Aunt Shirley laughed and took another nip from the heart-shaped flask before capping it and putting it back inside her bra. “So, like I was saying, do we even know how these men died? Because this seems awfully suspicious to me. I could be living across the hall from a man killer. An actual Black Widow!”

  “Slow your roll there, Aunt Shirley,” I said. “First off, I’m sure if she offed three husbands, someone around here would have said something. You heard Lovey say the three of them have pretty much lived their whole lives here in Granville.”

  Paige giggled. “I still can’t imagine being called Lovey. That’s so odd. Cute…but odd.”

  “It kinda fits her though,” I said. “She and Dotty are so nice. Making gifts and bringing items around for the people who can’t get out as much.”

  Aunt Shirley belched loudly…a sure sign she was on the verge of getting tipsy. “More like goody-goody gasbags!”

  “Stop,” I said and gave her my best evil eye. “I like these ladies. You be nice or I won’t invite you to the interview if Virginia Webber calls and says it’s a go.”

  Aunt Shirley rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Where is everyone? I’m starving.”

  My mom glided into the dining room carrying the mashed potatoes. Her boyfriend, Dr. Martin Powell, a veterinarian in town, followed close behind carrying a bowl of corn.

  “Janine,” Aunt Shirley barked, “we about ready to eat or what?”

  My mom smiled tightly at Aunt Shirley. It’s not that they didn’t get along…it’s just my mother didn’t take flak from anyone. Aunt Shirley included. Mom taught elementary school for almost thirty years at Granville Elementary. Take it from me, in order to teach elementary kids, you have to be a scrapper.

  “Matt and Garrett are in the backyard, throwing a stick to Nala. They will be in shortly,” Mom told her.

  My brother, Matt, recently married my best friend, Paige. Their first big step into newlywed bliss was to get a puppy. And what a cute little pain-in-the-butt it was. Nala was a chow and lab mix. I called it a chab. It was hyperactive, chewed on everything, and was as cute as a button.

  “Wellll,” Aunt Shirley slurred, “they better hurry. I’m about to starve to death.”

  “Simmer down there,” Garrett called from the doorway. “I’d hate to have to arrest you for public intoxication.”

  “Nice try there, Ace. I may be slightly intox—toxi—drunk, but we ain’t in public!”

  Garrett’s narrowed his eyes at her. “Public enough for me.”

  “Settle down you two,” my mom chided. “This is supposed to be a nice family dinner.”

  I wrapped my arms around Garrett, pressed my lips against his ear and whispered, “Play nice. She’s an old lady.”

  “I heard that you ninny!” Aunt Shirley bellowed.

  Nala chose that moment to barrel around the corner and run straight into the dining table leg, causing her to curl up like a roly poly and do two somersaults across the hardwood floor.

  “I’ve almost taught her to walk on all four legs,” Matt joked as he walked into the room. “She’s still so clumsy.”

  “What kind of wine would you like me to open for our dinner, Janine?” Doc asked my mom.

  “Whatever kind goes with nuts,” Aunt Shirley joked.

  Mom gave Aunt Shirley her best teacher stare. She could still do it after all these years. Aunt Shirley grinned but didn’t say anything else. Even Aunt Shirley knew where the line with my mom was.

  Dinner was actually nice, considering Aunt Shirley continued to drink even more…which made her run her mouth even more. By the time dessert rolled around, we were all ready to gag her.

  I’d just finished loading the last of the leftovers in th
e Falcon when Virginia Webber called me on my cell phone. I let out a victory whoop when she said she’d like to meet the next morning to go over the interview questions. I did a jig all the way back inside the house to tell everyone the good news.

  “I’m goin’ too.” Aunt Shirley got up from the chair she was sitting in. She stood for about three seconds before she started swaying dangerously. A sure sign she’s had too much to drink. “In fact, I should prolly jus’ sleep over at your place tonight so’s we can get a head start t’morrow.”

  I laughed at her ridiculous statement. “Virginia lives across the hall from you and down one apartment. You’re literally twelve steps from her! There’s no need to stay with me.”

  Aunt Shirley stuck out her lower lip like a pouty three-year-old. “You’re no fun a’tall. I don’t wanna go home alone. I wanna go with you.”

  I silently counted to five.

  “I’m sorry,” Paige whispered as she came to hug me goodbye. “Let me know how it goes.”

  A few minutes later I went into the kitchen to tell Mom and Doc good night. They were standing side-by-side at the kitchen sink washing dishes and whispering. They immediately sobered when they saw me. “We could hear her in here. Don’t let her talk you into anything you don’t want to do, Ryli Jo Sinclair,” Mom admonished.

  In the end I decided to let Aunt Shirley stay over. Garrett followed me home and carried a passed out Aunt Shirley from the Falcon into my house. As he placed her on the bed, she stirred from her tipsy stupor enough to give him what-for.

  “Don’t you be tryin’ to sneak a peek at my goodies,” she told him.

  Garrett shuddered. “As if.”

  “Plenty of men have seen my goodies, and ain’t a one of them complained.”

  I snickered at her ridiculous statement. “Aunt Shirley, do you need anything? A glass of water? Pain reliever?”

  I figured she was gonna have a heck of a hangover tomorrow.

  Miss Molly, my black and white longhaired cat, chose that moment to jump up on my bed to see what all the fuss was about. She gingerly made her way close to Aunt Shirley, her nose and whiskers twitching nonstop.

  Aunt Shirley suddenly reached in her mouth, yanked out her teeth, and handed them to Garrett. “Watch over these for me, would ya, Ace?” She was snoring before her head hit the pillow.

  Miss Molly arched her back, screeched, and raced out of the room.

  Neither of us said a word. We simply watched in horror as rivulets of saliva dripped from the dentures in Garrett’s hand.

  “There’s a glass next to the sink,” I whispered. “Just fill it with water and put the teeth in. Hand sanitizer is in the cabinet.”

  Garrett didn’t say anything.

  “Garrett, you okay?”

  Garrett blinked a couple times, coming out of his stupor. He looked down at his hand and blanched, his face going pale. Without a word he slipped silently from the room, leaving me alone with a snoring Aunt Shirley. I was almost tempted to smother her with my pillow.

  “You are an amazing woman,” Garrett said a little while later, pulling the hide-away out from the couch for me to sleep on.

  My house was only eight hundred square feet with one bedroom and bathroom. I really didn’t have room for a sleepover guest. Miss Molly had been so traumatized by Aunt Shirley’s behavior that she elected to sleep in the bathtub.

  “Thanks.” I tossed the pillow I didn’t smother Aunt Shirley with onto the hideaway and laid down, patting the space beside me.

  Garrett grinned. “Maybe for just a minute.”

  “Did you put enough hand sanitizer on? I don’t want Aunt Shirley germs all over me.”

  Garrett made a face at me when I mentioned Aunt Shirley. But then he smiled. “Just my germs all over you.”

  CHAPTER 5

  * * *

  “Slow down,” Aunt Shirley snapped as I pulled out of the newspaper parking lot and headed toward the Manor for our meeting with Virginia.

  I smirked at her. “I’m going twenty miles an hour. Perhaps if you didn’t still have a hangover, twenty wouldn’t feel so rough.”

  Aunt Shirley shoved a huge pair of sunglasses on her face. They covered her eyes, half her forehead, and nearly all her cheeks. She looked ridiculous.

  “How about you shut your mouth? I don’t have a hangover. I never get hangovers.”

  I snorted. I knew for a fact that was a lie. I could hardly keep her sober at Paige’s bachelorette party. Luckily I’ve learned Aunt Shirley doesn’t need to be sober to catch a killer.

  I really wasn’t in the mood to spar with her. It was bad enough her little sleepover made me half an hour late at the office, but the fact Hank made me bring Aunt Shirley along to my interview because he said people open up to her had just set wrong with me. I was about at the end of my rope when it came to having to look after Aunt Shirley.

  Mindy had helped me brainstorm different avenues for my big front-page story while Aunt Shirley drank a gallon of coffee and dozed half the morning. As I was getting ready to leave, Hank said that if I didn’t submit an outline to him by the evening, my chance at the front-page cover would be over. I really needed this interview to work today.

  “Run me through Burger Barn real quick,” Aunt Shirley demanded. “I finally feel good enough to eat. I need to refuel on a nice, greasy cheeseburger.”

  Our Burger Barn was a little different from others because they sold breakfast, lunch, and dinner. When you are one of the few restaurants in town, you have to serve all three meals.

  Since it was one-thirty, the drive-thru line wasn’t that long. Within five minutes I paid for the lunches, collected the burgers, and parked in the Burger Barn parking lot to scarf down the food.

  “You haven’t mentioned my new sunglasses,” Aunt Shirley pouted after she wolfed down half of her cheeseburger. “Don’t you like them?”

  I snuck a peek again as I bit into my cheeseburger. Still just as ridiculous. “They’re awful big.”

  “You may not know this, but I’ve developed a few wrinkles lately.”

  More like a few hundred wrinkles!

  Aunt Shirley pushed the glasses farther up her nose. “And these sunglasses help to give me a little coverage.”

  “They cover your whole face.”

  Aunt Shirley wiped her mouth with a wadded up napkin. “Like I said, it helps give me a little coverage.”

  “Try to be on your best behavior today,” I said. “Virginia is going to talk a lot about loving her three husbands. Something I’m sure you can’t even wrap your head around.”

  “Darn right I can’t. I’d never marry one man…much less three!” Aunt Shirley finished off the last of her cheeseburger, stuffed the wrapper back into the bag, pulled down the visor, and started putting on a horrendous red shade of lipstick. Aunt Shirley was a firm believer that if you didn’t have on lipstick, then you were naked. “I ain’t promisin’ to be good, but I’ll try not to roll my eyes too often when she mentions these lover boys of hers.”

  I sighed. It was the best I was going to get from her. “Don’t ruin this for her, or for me.”

  Aunt Shirley flipped the visor back up. “I won’t. Even if I think it’s stupid, I won’t make fun of her.”

  I parked in the visitor’s parking at the Manor and walked inside. Dozens of residents were milling about the large great room, reading, playing board games, and sitting in front of a fire. Valentine hearts with cute sayings were hanging down with fishing line from the ceiling.

  “If it weren’t for some of the people here, this would be a really nice place, Aunt Shirley. I don’t know why you don’t embrace it more.”

  “It’s a place for old people. I ain’t old!”

  Please, you and Methuselah were probably in diapers together!

  We passed the cafeteria and headed toward Aunt Shirley’s wing. I slowed when I saw Thomas Shifley and another orderly standing near the cafeteria doors looking over their shoulders. Shifley handed the other orderly something. The othe
r guy didn’t look at it, but stuck it in his pocket. I couldn’t tell what it was, but it didn’t seem very big. Almost like a piece of paper.

  “I forgot to tell you,” I said as I pushed the button for the elevator. “I overheard a conversation yesterday about the stolen boxes from the pantry.”

  Aunt Shirley perked up. “What did you hear?”

  We walked into the elevator and Aunt Shirley pushed the button for her floor. Luckily we were alone because Aunt Shirley decided to pass gas.

  “Jeez…really?”

  Aunt Shirley laughed. “Tequila gets me every time!”

  The elevator doors opened and I hurried into her deserted hallway, gasping for clean air.

  “So,” Aunt Shirley demanded, “what did you find out?”

  I shot her an evil look and continued to breathe in the fresh air. “That Sheri Daniels did in fact place the order, it arrived, and someone named Kaylee was the last person to see the boxes. Kaylee said she put the boxes in the pantry.”

  Aunt Shirley clucked her tongue. “That Kaylee Jones isn’t exactly a rocket scientist. Ya get my meaning?”

  I thought about the crying girl and her newborn baby she was trying to support. “I get your meaning.”

  “But I don’t think there’s anything sinister about Kaylee. Of course, I’m not even sure what was in the boxes, so who knows whether or not she’d need to steal them. Do you think it was medication?”

  I shrugged. “I haven’t heard anyone say what was in the boxes now that I think about it.”

  “If it was medication or something like that, then it could bring in money. I guess maybe Kaylee could have stolen it.”

  “Well, she did say she had a baby to feed,” I conceded.

  Aunt Shirley frowned. “I still think there’s something more.”

  “And this is weird. Your neighbor, Ray Manning, was in there demanding to know if Sheri had reordered his stuff.”

  “What stuff?” Aunt Shirley asked.

  I threw up my hands. “How would I know? He was just yelling about whether or not she’d placed the new order for him.”