The Heavenward Path

by Kara Dalkey

  "Forgive me, Goranu, but you did not ask, and I did not think it would matter so."

  "Yes, well, as the saying goes, we would all be wiser if we lived backwards." Despite his joking manner, Goranu's face was pale and his brows furrowed with worry. "But you said you were halfway to your doom. What is the other half?"

  "That I should gather the descendants of the villagers who lived here so that they might offer respects to Lord Chomigoto again."

  "Oh!" Goranu exhaled a great sigh of relief. "Well. That should take forever, shouldn't it? Nothing to worry about. You're still safe."

  "I suppose so." I stared down at my feet.

  "Is she being ungrateful again, Highness?" asked Kuroihane, passing by with an armful of silk.

  "On the contrary," said Goranu. "She is so overcome with gratitude, she cannot express herself."

  "Heh," Kuroihane snorted, and he continued into the tomb.

  Goranu looked down at me. "So, Mitsuko-san, what do you wish to do now?"

  "I… I would like to go to my sister's house, since it is nearby. I should let her know that I am all right. Perhaps there I can think about what to say to my father when I get home."

  "Very well. The way is not long. But it is getting late, and there are wild things in this forest. You should not go alone. May I walk with you?"

  "Yes. Certainly."

  With an expansive sweep of his arm and a bow, Goranu indicated the way out of the clearing and the path that led toward the Western Road. I followed him into the forest, leaving behind the clattering, chattering tengu filling Lord Chomigoto's tomb with Kai-Lung's treasure.

  Goranu and I walked down the path in silence. The forest was very quiet except for the occasional birdcall and the padding of our feet on the ground. The air was cool and pleasant, scented with pine and flowers of the forest. There was no wind. The slanting sunbeams of the late afternoon turned the pine needles golden, and the world seemed to shimmer with a precious, magical light. I tried to let all of it seep into my memory, for I did not know if I would ever walk with Goranu beside me again. I wanted to remember what it was like, so that in future days of sorrow I could recall it to console myself.

  "You are pensive," Goranu said at last. "You mortal girls are so moody. First Suzume nearly knocks me over, and now you won't even speak to me."

  "Forgive me. She and I are both preoccupied with our cares," I said.

  "Oh? What cares would the two of you share?"

  I did not want to tell him my true thoughts. Being a tengu, he would probably just laugh at me. Or worse, be serious and tell me how foolish Suzume and I were. Or worse yet, I might again reawaken his hopes of learning the sutras to better his chance of meeting me as a mortal in a future life. So I said, "Neither Suzume nor I wish to go to Court."

  "Ah, the Imperial Court," Goranu rhapsodized. "I haven't been there in a long while. I will admit it is a most impressive place. Why shouldn't you want to live there?"

  I looked at him in surprise. "You mean you, a tengu, have been in the Imperial Palace? More than once?"

  "Heh. We tengu visit the Court more often than mortals might care to think. So much opportunity to play delicious pranks there. That is where I first saw you-oh, I think I told you that. But it is so easy to slip in. There are so many bureaucrats running round, no one notices if there is one extra. Several highborn gentlemen there know me as Lord Atamasaru, Minister of the Yin-Yang Office of the Hour of the Monkey. Impressive title, neh?"

  "But there is no such office, is there?"

  "Of course not! But your Imperial bureaucracy is so huge and so constantly changing, nobody knows that. All I have to do is strut around in a black robe and a tall black hat, and I am treated with the greatest of courtesy, just in case I might be important. It's quite amusing, really."

  "But… but if you can come to Court… then you could visit me there after I return to Heian Kyo, couldn't you?"

  Goranu raised an eyebrow at me. "What, come to your pavilion when you are the number one wife of the boy-prince Komakai? Do you wish to cause a scandal, or do you just want me to see how happy you will be without me? Really, you can be quite cruel, Mitsuko-san."

  "No! No!" I shoved my fists into my wide sleeves. "You do not understand. I will not be happy. I do not want to marry Prince Komakai! I want-" I pressed my sleeves against my mouth to keep my foolish words from spilling out.

  "What is it you want?"

  "I… I do not know."

  "Hmmm. And Suzume? What does she want?"

  "She said she wants to stay in the tengu village and live among you. That is impossible, of course, neh? But she has taken too much to heart what you taught us in Tengu-Do-that there is always a way around problems. She is determined to discover some way that a mortal may live among tengu."

  "Is she?" mused Goranu. "Well. Suzume has certainly taken to tengu thought better than any mortal I have known. If anyone can solve that puzzle, it could be her."

  Again, mad jealousy boiled up in me-that Suzume might do what I could not. I did not like to hear Goranu praise her so. But I said nothing for fear of what ugly words I might speak. Instead, I trudged in silence beside Goranu, feeling that the beauty of the afternoon had been quite ruined.

  My footsteps slowed as I perceived through the trees ahead a clearing that would be the Western Road. I thought I could just make out a corner of the roof of Riko and Sotoko's house. I tried to think what would be the proper way to say good-bye to Goranu.

  "What if Suzume is right?" Goranu asked out of nowhere.

  "What? What do you mean?" I was irritated that he interrupted my thoughts to speak of her.

  "What if there is a way that a tengu such as me and a mortal such as you can… remain in each other's company. Without learning painful sutras." Goranu stopped walking and gazed at me so intently that I blushed again. "If there is a way, would you want me to find it, too, Mitsu-chan?"

  My breath caught in my throat. My conscience kept reminding me of my father, of my duty to my clan and to my ancestors, and to all others who rely upon the power of the Fujiwara. But my heart spoke first. "Yes. Yes I would… Goru-chan."

  A tiny smile curled his lips, and a light appeared within his eyes. "Then I will do my tengu-best to discover it. After all, I cannot let a mortal be better at Tengu-Do than I am, can I?"

  I smiled back at him. "Of course not. That would be most embarrassing, neh?" We continued walking down the path, but my footsteps felt ever so much lighter.

  "However," Goranu said, "if you should happen to use Tengu-Do to think of a way before I do, I will manage to forgive you somehow."

  "I am glad to hear that." All too soon, only a few footsteps farther, I came to the edge of the Western Road. The gate to my sister's house was just beyond it. I blinked and realized, while I had been pleasantly distracted, I had not thought of a way to say good-bye.

  "So. Here we are," Goranu said.

  "Yes," I said, but I did not step onto the road. My feet did not want to move.

  "How long will you be staying with your sister?"

  "I do not know. A day or two, at least. I hope. I need time to think about what to tell my father. About… what to do."

  "Yes. Good. Take your time. Time is good. For thinking. And things like that."

  "Yes."

  "Yes."

  Quite suddenly he pulled me into his arms, and we held on to each other. We did not speak. It seemed we stayed that way for a long time, until the sun went behind the mountains. Perhaps it was only a minute or two, and I only wanted it to be forever.

  But at last, Goranu pulled away from me. We did not say good-bye. He brushed his long nose against my cheek, and then, with a flurry of feathers, he was in bird form again and flapped his great black wings. I did not even shed a tear as I watched him soar high into the sky.

  The mountain air, without the sun, turned chill, and at last I crossed the Western Road and knocked upon my sister's gate.

  It was opened by the two guardsmen I had seen there
before. As soon as they saw who I was, they pulled out their paper talismans, shouting, "The Tengu Lady!"

  Calmly, I said to them, "If you please, I have returned and would like to see my sister Sotoko at once."

  "Yes! Yes! We will go tell her you are here immediately." They ran away from the gate as if I, myself, were a demon. It occurred to me, as I waited, that I had neither hid my face behind my sleeves nor bowed to deflect my gaze. I was becoming nearly as unsuitable for Court as Suzume.

  Sotoko came running down the wooden steps and into the garden. "Mitsuko! You are all right!" She hugged me and stepped back to look at me. "We were so worried about you. Riko sent a letter to Papa demanding that he call off the tengu at once."

  "He sent a letter to Heian Kyo telling father I was here?"

  "Yes. I could not dissuade him. Who knows what our father will think when he reads about you and the tengu, neh?"

  "Who knows…" I murmured.

  "But come in! This seems to be a night for guests arriving. There is someone else here whom I think you know."

  "There is? Who?" I did not think I was ready for more surprises.

  "Come in and see for yourself."

  I followed my sister into her house, trying not to step on the fur rugs, when I saw a familiar face. "Dento!"

  The old ubasoku, wearing his usual gray robe and tiny boxlike hat perched on his forehead, bowed, smiling. "Mitsuko-san. From what I have been hearing, your life has been as adventurous as ever. Your sister was just asking for my advice as to how to rescue you from the tengu. I told her that, given what I knew of you, it might be the tengu who have to be rescued."

  I smiled awkwardly but did not know how to reply. Sotoko set out cushions for us to sit on, and a servant brought tea and rice cakes. I spoke pleasantries to Sotoko, reassuring her that I was well, that I had only been a guest in the tengu village for a time, and that they had not harmed me.

  Sotoko said, "That is good, for they certainly gave us a fright in the forest, neh?"

  "They were just playing tricks," I said. "They would never have hurt you or Riko."

  "And Riko? You should have seen his face, Mitsu-chan, he was so pale when he finally found me. And he babbled about your finding the shrine and how it would be impossible to fix and why we should forget the whole thing. When he saw you flying away with the tengu, I think he was almost relieved to see you go. Yesterday he rode off to his father's castle on some urgent business or other. He would not tell me what."

  "I am so sorry he was frightened" was all I could say.

  "Surely you cannot be blamed," said Sotoko softly. She turned to idly watch the servants lighting the evening lamps.

  I turned to Dento and asked, "But how is it you come to be here? When I spoke with you at Sukaku Temple, you were going to a distant village in order to cure a fever."

  Dento shook his head. "Alas, I arrived at the village too late to be of much use. The fever that afflicted the fishermen had passed on, and all I could do was say prayers for the dead and offer protective prayer-talismans to those who had survived it.

  "As I was leaving the village, a cohort of Lord Tsubushima's men was passing by on the Tokaido. Some of them recognized me and offered to let me travel with them for my safety and because they believe traveling with an ubasoku brings good luck. I stopped at Sukaku Temple, but you had already left for Heian Kyo. So I rode with the warriors all the way back here to Tamba Province. I remembered you had said that your sister now lived in this lodge, so I came here to ask if she had seen you."

  "And now you can see me for yourself," I said.

  "Yes." Dento tilted his head to regard me from a different angle. "You have changed again. More serious changes this time."

  "He is right," said Sotoko, peering at my face. "I think you have become nearly half barbarian, as I am."

  I did not answer, for surely they would have found the truth far worse.

  An odd sort of wavering scream pierced the air, and Sotoko sat bolt upright. A servant entered on her knees and bowed. "My Lady, your horse is restive in his stall and paces and kicks at his gate. We thought you might-"

  "Yes, I will come at once," said Sotoko, standing. "This is very odd," she said to me. "He is usually such a calm, gentle beast." She hurried off after the servant.

  Dento and I sat in awkward silence for some moments. At last, the old monk said, "Perhaps her horse hears or smells something that disturbs it. But tell me, has your effort to repair the shrine proceeded as you had hoped?"

  I shook my head. "No, Dento. It has all been…very strange. My father could not help me rebuild the shrine because he does not own the land it sits on. Lord Tsubushima, who owns the land, will not help me because… the shrine did not belong to any kami of stone or trees. It marked the tomb of an ancient Kofun priest-king named Lord Chomigoto. Whose tomb Lord Tsubushima's ancestors plundered many years ago."

  Dento gasped and rocked back on his heels. "Chomigoto! I have not heard that name since I was a child. Please. Go on."

  "Well, because it took me two years to return to repair the shrine, his ghost appeared and made more demands of me: that I was to build him the grandest shrine the world had ever seen and replenish his tomb, which had been robbed by Lord Tsubushima's ancestors. And to find and gather the descendants of those who lived in a village by the shrine, so that Lord Chomigoto might be venerated again. By… various means, I again spoke with Lord Emma-O in his chambers because I felt Lord Chomigoto's demands were unfair."

  Dento gasped again, and his eyes went wide. "Such courage."

  "I was aided in my claim by Jizo-bosatsu…"

  "Jizo-bosatsu," whispered Dento, awestruck. "You are truly traveling in exalted circles, Mitsuko-san."

  "I suppose so," I said, blushing a little in embarrassment. "But because Lord Emma-O was still angry with me for trespassing in his chambers before, the demands were only reduced by one. Now Lord Chomigoto's worshipers will have to rebuild his shrine, but I still must replenish the tomb and gather the descendants of his worshipers."

  "But I can help you, after all!" said Dento. "At least with part of it-for I am the last living descendant of the villagers who lived near that shrine."

  I felt suddenly cold all over, as if turned to ice. "You? You

  "Yes!" he nodded with enthusiasm. "The last. I remember now the stories my mother used to tell me. She managed to escape the slaughter of the other villagers by hiding. After being driven from the mountains, my mother earned her living as a traveling…well, never mind what. I was born in a wagon on the Tokaido. But she told me stories of how my father and the ancestors before him had served the shrine of a mighty king, whom they had to appease so that he would not curse them. It would seem that Chomigoto-sama was not a kind monarch, and it was rumored that he died from poisoning by one of his followers. My ancestors served him more out of fear than loyalty."

  "But when I told you about the shrine," I said, still stunned, "why didn't you know that… that…"

  "Who it belonged to? Because the way my mother had described it, I had thought Chomigoto's shrine was a big impressive structure, ornately carved and filled with fine things. As a young man, I returned to the mountains to search for the village and the shrine, but believed I had never found them. Indeed, I began to believe my mother had made up those stories. Had I known what you would find, Mitsuko-san, I would have warned you away from it or would have stayed by you to give more aid. But that is all clouds after the rain, one might say, for it would seem that, with me, your troubles are solved."

  "No," I said softly. "They are not."

  "What? Why, Mitsuko-san? Why do you look so sad?"

  "Jizo-bosatsu arranged this debt so that I might have a lifetime to complete Lord Chomigoto's tasks. In this way, I might, over the years, do enough holy work to avoid Lord Emma-O's wrath when the time came for me to leave this world. But now the tengu have done me the favor of replenishing his tomb. And now you… you…"

  "I have spared you the task of searching
for his followers' descendants. Ah, Mitsuko, had I known. I am so very sorry. This is terrible. I had no idea-" Dento stood, took a step toward me, then turned away, muttering, "There is always a way around trouble. There must be a way."

  I glanced up at him, wondering why an ubasoku monk would quote a tenet of Tengu-Do.

  But before I could ask, he prattled on. "Do not despair, Mitsuko-san. I will go meditate and pray, and perhaps between the two of us we can discover a solution. Yes. I will say nothing of this to your sister, never fear. Yes. Please excuse me." Dento bowed and, anxiously muttering to himself, went away to a different part of the house to pray.

  Sotoko had left the shoji open when she left, and I stared out at the now dark and starry sky beyond it. I could see the tops of pine trees swaying in a silent breeze. I almost thought I could hear Lord Chomigoto uttering a hiss of satisfaction. But perhaps I just imagined it.

  I sighed and turned my head away and stared at a lamp's flame dancing nearby. Watching it produced a state something like meditation, which was calming. What does it matter, I thought, if I must now leave this world for Lord Emma-O's dungeons? I have already disappointed my family. I am bound up in foolish hopes and desires that will surely lead to nothing and only cause trouble. Very likely, my father believes me already dead. Very likely, Prince Komakai is betrothed to someone else. What does it matter if I must soon be taken from this Land of Illusion?

  It mattered to me, I realized. There would be so much I would miss. Who knows what karmic burdens another turn on the Wheel of Rebirth would bring? I was just getting used to the burdens of this life. And its joys. I would miss my sisters and brother. I would even miss Suzume. And Goranu. More than anyone, Goranu.

  "I do not think Tengu-Do can find a way around this problem," I murmured. "It is harder even than mortals living among tengu. There is no way to leave one's life and yet stay." Tears blurred my vision, distorting the shapes in the lamp's flame. I saw in the new patterns the woman from my dreams. She was dancing and shaking sakaki branches, as always. Then she turned, and I saw her face. And I knew who she was. She was me.