Guns, Wives and Chocolate

by Sally Berneathy

  Rickie with a stun gun? I waited tensely for Grace’s answer.

  “No, but we have some of your Aunt Lindsay’s cookies left.”

  Other than the Aunt Lindsay part, it was a good answer.

  It was past my bedtime too.

  Fred and I crossed the street to my house.

  “There’s no way you got the Mayfields to leave by simply asking them to go,” I said. “What did you really tell them?

  “That the house was rigged with a bomb and would explode in five minutes.”

  “Really?”

  “No.”

  Maybe having Grace for a neighbor would be a good thing after all. She would be my ally in finding out the truth about Fred.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Friday evening, and all was right with the world.

  Trent was in my arms or I was in his. In any event, we were snuggled up on my sofa with an empty pizza box on the coffee table.

  Alinn and Dumford were in jail, charged with a lot of drug stuff as well as murder and accessory to murder. They wouldn’t be going anywhere for a long time. Laurie Dumford and George were safe.

  The Mayfields were gone. Rickie didn’t have to run away to live with me.

  Henry wouldn’t have let that happen anyway.

  Trent held me closer. “I worry about you.”

  “That’s sweet but silly. You chase bad guys and put your life in danger. I make chocolate. Other than burning my finger on a hot pan, my job isn’t dangerous.”

  “It’s not your job that worries me. It’s your extra-curricular activities.”

  I didn’t want to talk about that. “Do you want another beer?” I tried to wriggle away.

  He didn’t let me go. “No. And before you say it, you don’t need another Coke. We need to talk.”

  Most times I like to talk. This didn’t sound like it would be one of those times. I had to divert this train wreck before it happened. We’d already eaten, so I couldn’t use chocolate. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  “Okay, enough talking. Want to go upstairs?”

  “After you tell me why you were avoiding me earlier this week until you got a hair-brained idea to take down a drug dealer and needed my help.”

  “Have I been avoiding you?” I didn’t deny it. I just asked for confirmation.

  “Yes.”

  I didn’t like admitting I had been withholding information from him, but it was a relief not to have to keep secrets anymore. “I guess it’s okay to tell you now. George found a box of decongestants when he was helping Grace unpack. She didn’t want you to know Chuck was involved with that sort of thing, so she made me promise not to tell you.”

  Trent was either laughing silently or having a seizure. He’d better be having a seizure.

  “That was admirable of you to keep Grace’s secret,” he said, “but I work for the police department. It’s our job to know about things like that.”

  I bristled. “And maybe if you’d tell me what you know, I wouldn’t have to keep secrets and I wouldn’t have to get involved in those extra-curricular activities! This secrets thing is a two-way street.”

  “You know I can’t tell you what goes on at work.”

  “Then I can’t tell you what goes on in my extra-curricular activities.” I wanted to get up, toss my hair, and walk away. But I also wanted to stay right where I was. It had been a long, crazy week. I needed some cuddling.

  On the other hand, this was important, something we’d argued about before and never resolved. Well, I’d argued and Trent had gone all stoic and refused to tell me about his work. I tensed and pulled away as much as I could without breaking contact.

  He kissed the back of my neck.

  “You’re not playing fair,” I protested.

  He kissed my neck again. “I’ll answer a question for you, then you answer one for me. Deal?”

  I thought about that. “After tonight, I already know everything, so you don’t have anything to bargain with.”

  “How about I tell you the rest of Alinn’s confession?”

  I did have some unanswered questions about her. “You’d really tell me everything?”

  “It’s public record. It’ll be on the news tomorrow.”

  “So I could wait until tomorrow and get the information anyway.” And then I wouldn’t have to answer any of his questions.

  “The news may not consider some of the details worthy of inclusion in the story. Your friend, Grace, might be interested in some of those details.”

  Curiosity struggled with a desire not to confess. Curiosity won. “Okay, I’m listening.”

  “But you have to tell me about your extra-curricular activities.”

  “All right, all right, deal.”

  “Alinn and Dumford go way back. They had a thing going at one time when they were both small-time users and dealers back in Arkansas. But then Dumford moved up here to get away from the law.”

  “Fred already knew that. Well, not about Alinn.”

  “Okay,” Trent said, “your turn. What do you mean, Fred already knew that?”

  “Because when we went to Dumford’s house…” Oops. Well, I’d made a deal. My secrets for his. I told him about our visit and how Fred had referred to Dumford’s past a couple of times.

  He listened silently and didn’t laugh this time. I appreciated the not laughing part, but mostly I appreciated the silent part, no reprimands.

  Best to end on a positive note. “So Fred helped Laurie escape. Your turn. I want to hear more about Alinn.”

  “She moved up here with Gaylord, and they continued their association even after he married Laurie. When she met Chuck, he really was only a farm equipment salesman. He wasn’t making much money, but he told her that story about his parents being wealthy and estranged and setting up a trust for a grandchild. She didn’t get pregnant, of course, and Chuck wasn’t making enough money to fund her drug habit. Dumford had a wife and kids, and they were struggling for money too. Alinn and Dumford came up with the drug-to-prison-via-churches idea. They both claim credit for it.”

  “I’m not sure that’s something I would brag about.”

  “Since Alinn can’t boast about her chocolate chips cookies, I guess she has to take her kudos where she can. She and Chuck settled in Leavenworth and got their church connection going while Dumford got his set up. They were so successful, they decided to branch out. Chuck would marry women in other cities and build a network. Alinn didn’t care if he slept with other women as long as it he didn’t get them pregnant. As we know, that wasn’t a problem. Everything was going fine until Grace came along. Chuck told Alinn he was leaving the drugs and Alinn.”

  “He told Grace the truth. He really did love her.”

  “So it seems. That was bad enough, but when Alinn found out he was going to adopt Rickie, give his parents a son, and get all that money from the nonexistent gas wells, she got desperate. She faked a pregnancy. With Chuck gone all the time, she didn’t think he would figure it out and she could buy a baby when the time came. When he told her the child wasn’t his, she decided the only solution was to kill him before he adopted Rickie. Then she could run the baby scam on his parents.”

  “She told Dumford she wanted the cyanide to kill Grace, so he got it for her. Kill Grace and keep their organization intact.” I shivered at the cold brutality of it.

  “Alinn persuaded Chuck to come by one last time to tell her good-bye. She dusted his gum with cyanide and hid a package in his suitcase to frame Grace. Then she sat back and waited to hear that he was dead and the woman who almost ruined everything was going to prison.”

  “Grace needs to know that Chuck loved her and was sort of honest with her. His intentions were honorable. Thank you for telling me that.”

  “You’re welcome. Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

  “Not really.”

  “What about the night you caught George in Grace’s house?”

  “Oh, yeah, that. I’d
kind of forgotten. It wasn’t really important in the overall scheme of things. How did you know about that?”

  “George told me you called me that night but he convinced you to hang up before I answered. Funniest thing, I don’t have any record of an incoming call from you that night.”

  What a blabbermouth George was! I told Trent the whole story. He laughed about Fred and his shower curtain. He didn’t laugh about my stun gun success.

  “So everything George did went back to the money he buried in your basement when he and his grandparents lived here.”

  I flinched. That was a secret I had to keep. “I don’t have it.”

  “I know you don’t. But I think you know who does.”

  My life would be easier if nobody trusted me with their secrets.

  I wanted to be honest with Trent. We’d made a deal.

  But I’d promised the Murrays I wouldn’t tell.

  “What makes you think I know anything about it?” When in doubt, equivocate.

  “George sent his girlfriend to get that money when he was in prison. At your party, he went after it himself. He thought it was still there. Dumford didn’t find it. He was going to kill George if George didn’t get it back to him. You didn’t find it. You’d never have been able to keep a secret that big. That narrows down the list of suspects.”

  He knew.

  “If you already know, why are you asking me?”

  “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  I drew in a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I don’t want to get some very good people in trouble.”

  “You do realize you just confirmed what I suspected?”

  “That’s a relief! I don’t have to break my promise to Harold and Cathy!” I clapped a hand over my mouth, but it was too late. Words can’t be unsaid.

  Trent said nothing.

  “I know a lot of people named Harold and Cathy. I serve chocolate to hundreds of people every day, and many of them are named Harold and Cathy.”

  He continued to say nothing.

  “They could be. My customers don’t wear name tags.”

  “I understand. I admire you for keeping your promises. If you make a promise to me, I know you’ll keep it.”

  “Of course.”

  “Promise me you won’t get involved in something dangerous without letting me know first.”

  I couldn’t make a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep.

  I needed a diversion, one that was more persuasive than the first one I’d tried. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

  When he drew back, I’d almost forgotten the kiss was supposed to be a diversion.

  “Is that a no?” He hadn’t forgotten.

  “This is silly. I’m not going to get involved in anything dangerous in the future. How about if I promise to think about letting you know before I make the final decision to get involved in anything dangerous should the occasion ever arise?”

  He grinned. “I admire your honesty. Do you want to go upstairs?”

  I kissed him again.

  “Is that a yes?” he asked.

  “Definitely a yes.”

  Shannon’s Double Chocolate Double Caramel Cake

  Cake

  1 box devil’s food cake mix

  Water as specified on mix package

  Eggs as specified on mix package PLUS one more egg

  ½ cup butter INSTEAD of oil specified on mix package

  ½ cup unsweetened cocoa

  3 tablespoons vanilla

  Stir cocoa into dry mix until evenly distributed. Add water, eggs, butter, and vanilla and mix according to package instructions.

  Grease large rectangular pan (9”x13” or thereabouts) and dust with cocoa. Pour batter into pan and bake according to package instructions.

  Allow cake to cool while still in pan.

  Caramel Pudding

  6 cups milk

  3 eggs

  2 cups brown sugar

  3/4 cup flour

  2 teaspoons vanilla extract

  2 tablespoons butter

  Beat together milk and eggs. Add sugar and flour and beat until well mixed. Cook over medium heat until pudding begins to thicken. Remove from heat and add butter and vanilla.

  OR

  Buy your favorite pudding mix and make according to package directions.

  Poke holes in cake with handle of wooden spoon or large straw. If you use the straw, when you’re finished, you can suck out all the cake that accumulates in the straw.

  Pour warm pudding over cake and allow it to sink into the holes.

  Cool cake completely.

  Frosting

  Carton of Cool-Whip

  Jar of caramel sauce

  Mix together and frost cake. Sprinkle mini chocolate chips on top.

  Chocolate Ganache Cake

  Cake

  1/2 cup butter, softened

  1 cup sugar

  4 eggs

  1 (16-ounce) can chocolate syrup

  1 tablespoon vanilla

  1 cup flour

  Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

  Grease 9 inch bundt pan and dust with cocoa.

  Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and stir. Add chocolate syrup and vanilla and stir. Add flour and mix until combined. Don’t overbeat.

  Pour batter into pan. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes or until just set in the middle.

  Let cool thoroughly in the pan then turn out onto plate.

  Ganache

  1/2 cup heavy cream

  8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

  Melt chocolate chips and cream in microwave in thirty second increments until chips are dissolved. Allow to cool until it starts to thicken.

  Pour ganache evenly over cake. Do not refrigerate.

  Ding Dong Cupcakes

  Cupcakes

  1-1/2 cups flour

  1-1/2 cups sugar

  3/4 cup cocoa powder

  1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda

  1 teaspoon baking powder

  1/2 teaspoon salt

  3/4 cup buttermilk

  1/2 cup vegetable oil

  2 eggs

  1 tablespoon vanilla

  3/4 cup warm water

  Mix flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt until evenly combined.

  In another bowl, combine buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla.

  With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry. Add water and stir just to combine. Fill 24 cupcake pans half full of batter. Bake for 20 minutes at 350.

  Cool completely.

  Filling

  6 tablespoons flour

  1 cup cream

  1 tablespoon vanilla

  1 cup butter

  1 cup granulated sugar

  Whisk flour into cream. Cook mixture on medium-low until it thickens. Allow to cool.

  Beat butter and sugar until smooth. Add flour mixture and beat a long time until sugar granules are smooth. Add vanilla.

  Ganache

  2 (12-ounce) packages chocolate chips

  1 cup heavy cream

  Put in bowl and microwave in two 30 second segments, stirring after each. Continue stirring after second interval until all lumps are gone. Cool.

  Put filling on cupcakes. Put ganache on top of filling.

  Chocolate Chip Banana Nut Brownies

  2 cups flour

  1-1/2 cups brown sugar

  1/2 cup white sugar

  1 cup butter, softened

  2 eggs

  Dash salt

  1 tablespoon vanilla

  One banana, mashed

  1 (12 ounce) pkg. chocolate chips

  1/2 cup chopped nuts

  Mix butter, sugars, salt and vanilla with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs and mix well.

  Add flour and mashed banana and mix well. Add chocolate chips and nuts and stir until combined.

  Grease large rectangular pan (9”x13” or thereabouts)
and dust with cocoa. Spread mixture into prepared pan.

  Bake at 350° for 30-40 minutes until lightly golden brown.

  Remove from oven and sprinkle extra chocolate chips on top.

  Fred’s Favorite Chocolate Cake

  Cake

  3 cups flour

  3 cups sugar

  1-1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa powder

  1 tablespoon baking soda

  1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder

  1 teaspoon salt

  4 eggs

  1-1/2 cups buttermilk

  1-1/2 cups warm water

  1/2 cup vegetable oil

  1 tablespoon vanilla

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

  Grease large rectangular pan (9”x13” or thereabouts) and dust with cocoa.

  Mix together flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

  Add eggs, buttermilk, warm water, oil, and vanilla. Beat on medium speed until smooth. Do not overbeat.

  Pour batter into pan. Bake for 30-35 minutes until toothpick comes out clean.

  Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

  1 cup butter, softened

  8 oz cream cheese, softened

  1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

  1 tablespoon vanilla extract

  5-6 cups powdered sugar

  about ¼ cup milk (as needed)

  Beat together butter and cream cheese until fluffy.

  Add cocoa powder and vanilla extract. Beat until combined.

  Beat in powdered sugar, 1 cup at a time. Add milk as necessary to make a spreadable consistency.

  Back by popular demand:

  Lindsay’s Not-So-Secret Chocolate Chip Cookies

  1/2 c. butter, softened

  1-1/2 c. dark brown sugar